Recently someone asked a question and felt that the responses got nasty. The thread was locked, so I didn't get a response in before then, but I wanted to say something...
One of the problems with written communication like this is that SO MUCH gets lost in translation -- we have no body language, voice intonation, etc. to observe along with the written words, so things can come across as more harsh than intended. We should really think through what we say and how it sounds so that we can avoid hurt feelings.
If we get an answer or something we don't like or something, we need to not get too upset or take it personally. If we all give each other the benefit of the doubt it could help a lot -- be honest, but answer someone else the same way we would want to be answered! The "Golden Rule" works everytime.
It's Christmas -- let's not get upset over the little things -- if you're all like me, we've all got tons of big things to worry about. This is supposed to be our refuge and safe haven in a world of people who don't understand our passion for decorating. Let's not make it a place where we get hurt, too.
That's my 2 cents worth.
Merry Christmas one and all!
i feel that this thread will also be locked so i have to hurry coz like u rsaun i did not get a chance to say something..IMHO about that thread, i did not read anything nasty..i can even say that every response were all well-said..when i first read the question, i felt something and i had to wait first for someone to see if they feel the same way that i did...just my 2 cents worth.. 
Ok - I am probably going to get creamed for this (and maybe even asked to leave the forum) but I have to say this:
1 - I am sure I am the one that this thread is directed to and that's ok - I can take critiscism and critique like an adult. That's fine with me. I saw the direction in which the post was going and I chose to end it before anybody got nastier than they already were.
2 - In the year and a half that I have been a member of this CC, this forum has changed immensly. It used to be 100% cakes all the time. Now it just seems to be primarily women complaining about this nasty bride and whining because a customer was being difficult AND (this is initially what started the whole thing) everyone fishing for any kind of compliments they can get on their cakes. Whether it be in the forums or in the galleries. Come on ladies (and a few men), are you that insecure that you need to be constantly coddled??? Are you not getting something at home that you have to come to a forum for reassurance?? Whatever!!!
you are so right - I wish we had more smilies to help us lighten up our forum posts
Why is it that when a moderater locks a thread, someone reopens it? Doesn't really make sense to me.
ostentatious, insecure
for someone trying not to be controversial I'd say you're not doing a very good job. I found this site to talk cake and share cake. So if I post a picture in the forum whatever my reason I should be able to do that and feel safe that no one is going to bash me for it.
Cakes are what it is all about and if someone is insure about his or her creation or needs a bit of coddling than I'm more than willing to give the encouragement. We've all degrees of expertize on this forum and I truly believe we benefit by giving each other what ever type of encouragement is needed for what ever reason. That's what makes this work.
Okay, I wasn't going to post to this but what the heck...I will anyway!
I love being able to post my photos on this site because everyone here knows about cakes! And most of you are at a higher level than I am! I don't need to be "coddled" but it is nice to hear comments on my cakes from people who know about this stuff rather than my family and friends who don't. If someone feels that people asking for comments on their cakes is "coddling" and immature than don't comment! It's that simple! Things get blown out of proportion for no reason. It is just like people who complain about not liking a certain tv show because it is offensive to them. All you have to do it change the channel. Don't stress! Life is way to short!
HeatherMari
i'm going to say what my mother used to say to me when i was a little girl and my brother was bothering me... "Just ignore it".
you can very easily not give attention to the posts (or posters) that irk you.
i happen to be new to this cake decorating thing and i will admit, i am insecure. its the kind comments and encouragement that i find here that have made me pursue this hobby further.
i haven't posted any pics in the forums personally but i don't see anything wrong with it. i like to see cakes... new, old, big, small, tall, round, square, blue, red.... any and all kinds are welcome! i don't care if someone is bragging, i just want to see cakes, cakes and more cakes!!! 
Sometimes people need to just vent their frustrations, and what better avenue then with a group that shares in similiar situations. If someone wants to fuss about an impossible bride, then go ahead, one day I may be in a similiar situation and your experience may help me. You do have a choice not to read posts. I think that we can all benefit from each other's situations. If I can ever offer any comfort to someone in a situation then I'd be more than happy to do so. Again, if you see a post that is not something that you are interested in, then maybe you should just read something diffrent.
I agree that the problem with forums online is that you don't see emotions and you don't hear the tone of voice and sometimes it is even hard for someone to explain things. But lately-- I have not post anything in the forums because I feel that they are getting to the point where all you do is comfort someone and have to keep comforting someone. And sometimes I just want to say get over it - there are more important things in life. You can't fixed what you did.Or because I have an opinion and state it ( and it usually is blunt) that the person hates it and takes offense. But if I sugarcoated it they would like it. But I don't sugarcoat. SO I have stop posting. I feel that the forums are just becoming more about pity someone than helping someone learn about cakes and the decorating business. It seems like we all keep making the same mistakes and not learning from each other. It is frustrating to keep reading the same things over and over. And keep seeing the threads get lock because no one can take constructive critism. I am sure this thread will get lock but I just need to state my opinion.
When I first started coming to this forum, I was extremely insecure. I was scared of making a cake for someone outside my family because I didn't think I was good enough and didn't want to have someone disappointed with a less than average cake. 
Some of the posts on this site have been very encouraging, and have inspired me to not only take some of my friends' requests, but to start a business. It was not coddling, but encouragement that helped me, and I am very appreciative to everyone on this site who has posted pictures and advice that I could take advantage of. Many thanks to all of you!!! 
I have posted some of my work and am always excited when someone comments--or better yet, asks if they can use my idea! That's how I learned and I hope I can return the favor and contribute back somehow. This is why we are here--to share tips and tricks, help each other and enjoy this wonderful hobby.
Sometimes people need to just vent their frustrations, and what better avenue then with a group that shares in similiar situations. If someone wants to fuss about an impossible bride, then go ahead, one day I may be in a similiar situation and your experience may help me.......
Amen! The common bond is what makes this a great site to be a part of. We can talk about the stress of doing good stringwork to our "regular" friends, but they really don't get it. Folks on here understand the frustration, which helps make you NOT feel like you're just a whiny baby.
The little tips and tricks you pick up here are priceless. I've been making cakes for over 25 years and I've learned a few tricks in my short time on this site. How would I have picked up those helpful tips if a thread hadn't been started on a topic because one of us was frustrated on something that wasn't working right ...... that someone "could" have labeled "whiny"?
I don't do fondant ..... but on the off-chance that I ever venture into that forum, you can bet I'll be posting a pic to ask the experts here what they think. I won't be fishing for compliments ..... just coming to the folks who are great at that skill for feedback on how I could do it better.
Just my ever-so-never-humble opinion! 
I'm curious if my computer has a feature other people's don't. If I see a post I don't want to read, I close it. I don't feel the need to bash on other people or insult people's hard work.
I come on this site for encouragement and camaraderie... and to check out some really cool cakes.
Why can't we all just assume everything on here is said with the best of intentions, and respond the same way?
Just my 2 cents.
One solution: When we see a negative post, those of us who don't like all the negativity and bashing should go to the forum and find us a bunch of "how do I" posts and start answering them...then those would be the ones making the "headlines" and the others will be read only among those who are participating it them anyway! LOL!
"I'm curious if my computer has a feature other people's don't. "
OK meggylou that was TOO funny! 
One solution: When we see a negative post, those of us who don't like all the negativity and bashing should go to the forum and find us a bunch of "how do I" posts and start answering them...then those would be the ones making the "headlines" and the others will be read only among those who are participating it them anyway! LOL!
Love it.
angie
Ok I missed something ! I did scan through the locked thread and knew right away that is was going to be locked. I posted a topic a while titled "so I am really proud of this " The reason I did not post in the gallery was because I linked it to my website. It was faster to upload a link rather then resize another picture and watermark it for gallery. Also pics seem to get lost in the gallery.
Anyway I try to stay out of the arguing and bickering! But here I am!
Just kidding!
I think the reason why the same topics and frustrations keep appearing is because we're growing as a cake decorating family. What I read or post today may have been read or posted numberous times in the past, but since I've been on the forum for less than 6 months I wouldn't know that. Or it may have been posted, but I didn't see it at the time etc. I had a teacher in college who used to drive me crazy repeating herself. But, I learned a lot from her as the info was always in my face.
Ok - I am probably going to get creamed for this (and maybe even asked to leave the forum) but I have to say this:
1 - I am sure I am the one that this thread is directed to and that's ok - I can take critiscism and critique like an adult. That's fine with me. I saw the direction in which the post was going and I chose to end it before anybody got nastier than they already were.
2 - In the year and a half that I have been a member of this CC, this forum has changed immensly. It used to be 100% cakes all the time. Now it just seems to be primarily women complaining about this nasty bride and whining because a customer was being difficult AND (this is initially what started the whole thing) everyone fishing for any kind of compliments they can get on their cakes. Whether it be in the forums or in the galleries. Come on ladies (and a few men), are you that insecure that you need to be constantly coddled??? Are you not getting something at home that you have to come to a forum for reassurance?? Whatever!!!
I always steer clear of this kind of post but i have to say.. ya some people are lacking something at home and like the encouragement need. I came here for cakes but as a BONUS i found suport, friends, and encouragement. There is a place for each type of post in the forums and if the heading reads BRID FROM HELL or CRITIQUE MY CAKE then dont read it. How dare you look down upon people who dont have the reassurances you obviously have at home you dont have to give it to them but there are a bunch of people on here who will and they should be allowed to do so.
I think the fact someone takes the time to write a compliment no matter how small it is should be appreciated. People are busy sometimes, so don't sweat it! Don't forget, the most important opinion is how you feel about your creations and yourself!
When I first started coming to this forum, I was extremely insecure. I was scared of making a cake for someone outside my family because I didn't think I was good enough and didn't want to have someone disappointed with a less than average cake.
Some of the posts on this site have been very encouraging, and have inspired me to not only take some of my friends' requests, but to start a business. It was not coddling, but encouragement that helped me, and I am very appreciative to everyone on this site who has posted pictures and advice that I could take advantage of. Many thanks to all of you!!! I have posted some of my work and am always excited when someone comments--or better yet, asks if they can use my idea! That's how I learned and I hope I can return the favor and contribute back somehow. This is why we are here--to share tips and tricks, help each other and enjoy this wonderful hobby.
Well said!!!!!!!
Happy Holidays everyone! It's just a forum, it's just people like yourself trying to find some community...it's just one person's thought. If you get a little irked, do what I do and go hug your kids and start a "thread" with them. They will probably have more interesting ideas than any of us could come up with!
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