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Wrong Wedding Cake - what to do!?! - Page 3

post #31 of 119
Well, I'm going to take the bride's side on this one. At first I thought maybe I was just getting overly obsessed with cakes so I thought I'd ask dh what he thought. Now, we couldn't afford a wedding cake, but a friend made us a lovely cake for our wedding (not tiered, etc) and we were extremely grateful, so I really thought he'd say, "oh brother, it's just cake", but he didn't.

I asked him how he would feel if years from now this happened at our daughter's reception (she's only 12). He said he would be livid and that he would expect a refund minus actual expenses and setup fees! Wedding cakes are big business, but they are business, and according to his perspective this is a breach of contract (accidental or not).

For those who think this bride is being overdramatic, consider two ideas.

First, we do not know why they chose this flavor. Maybe it was a sentimental choice. Maybe he proposed over dessert and the dessert was chocolate kalua cake. It would be very romantic to choose that as your wedding cake and it would be dissapointing to cut into something different.

Second, think about the costs involved in a wedding. The cake is usually a fairly expensive part of the wedding. It should be what you paid for. You choose a cake decorator/baker based on an expectation of professionalism. You pay a premium for it, you should get what you expect. What if you saved up for years (and some families do) in the hopes of giving your daughter her dream wedding. Most people can't afford a huge, expensive wedding. Maybe the cake was "the" thing they splurged on. If so, why shouldn't she be upset?

It doesn't matter if the bride or groom isn't allergic to the fillings. Personally I hate bavarian cream. I wouldn't even eat a bite for a photo because it would make me retch. We don't know whether they like the flavors the cake was or not. All we know is that the bride and groom chose a chocolate kalua cake, they paid for a chocolate kalua cake, they looked forward to a chocolate kalua cake, and they did not get a chocolate kalua cake. Yes, a year from now they MAY laugh about it and even at how upset she felt, but on her wedding day a bride is very emotional and has dreams and expectations, so I understand how dissapointed she felt.

And lastly, before I get off my soapbox, we often complain about how people don't take us seriously as cake decorators or balk at our prices. If we want people to take us seriously than we need to take their desires seriously. We really can't get mad at people who say, "well, it's only cake" and then turn around and say the same thing ourselves.

Getting off my soapbox now,
Kathi
post #32 of 119
Quote:
Originally Posted by alfie

If the decorator made the cake then the culpability lies with the decorator. If the cake was made by the baker and then given to the decorator, then it will be the baker. Most decorators are NOT bakers and vice versa. I have met some splended decorators that do much better work than I do but couldn't bake a cake if you held a spatula to their neck.



most aren't both? dunno about that - who is the world gets prebaked cakes to decorate? maybe some, not many. Different people in a single bakery, sure, but the whole cake typcially comes from one source.
post #33 of 119
It's ridiculous to let the wrong flavor of cake "devastate" her or ruin the rest of her reception. Something else had to be going on if she was able to focus so much on the cake flavor.

She's due a partial refund and an anniversary tier with the correct flavor. Period. Hopefully someone will help her put it in perspective and encourage her to get over it.

Sherri
~ Sherri
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~ Sherri
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post #34 of 119
I absolutely think she is entitled to a refund and I'm sure whoever made the cake would be more than willing to make her an anniversary cake at no charge.

If a cake ruined her wedding then I'm afraid she will have a lifetime of disappointments.
My mother's menu consisted of two choices - take it or leave it!
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My mother's menu consisted of two choices - take it or leave it!
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post #35 of 119
To all the people who say " get a grip" do you remember how stressed you were on your wedding day? its supposed to be the happiest day of your life but how often is it beautiful and stress free and happy lalala? You stress about the hair, makeup, the amount of money we have just spent, family getting along, uncle joey not drinking too much and molesting waitresses, looking good in your dress yada yada yada... Yeah there are alot of bridezillas out there but this girl didnt sound like one of them.

If it was me? I would be pissed. I pay for expensive ingredients like chocolate and alcohol and get white cake and cream. We all know wedding cakes arent cheap, and i i had paid upwards of 700 for a cake and found out it was the wrong one it would upset me. I would have paid money that could have been used elsewhere on something i didnt get.

I think we all watch a little too much bridezilla and get too defensive if a bride questions something.
Think how you would feel in that situation. I would be upset, it would leave a bad taste in my mouth. Besides... i would really NEED chocolate by that stage of the evening!

my two bobs worth, flame away icon_smile.gif
*all posts remain the opinion of gingerkitten79 and are exactly that- MY opinion have nice day!
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*all posts remain the opinion of gingerkitten79 and are exactly that- MY opinion have nice day!
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post #36 of 119
I don't have the time to read all the posts, and maybe this has already been said, but-

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE HAVE CONTRACTS!!!

What kind of idiot writes up a contract, then doesn't have the sense to follow it? The bride does deserve something, but it's not the end of the world. Was it good, at least?

My dh's grandfather was killed in a car accident at the airport on the Thurs. PM before our wedding-she should be thankful that at least everyone is alive. And the cake looked pretty for the pics.
post #37 of 119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Luby

I absolutely think she is entitled to a refund and I'm sure whoever made the cake would be more than willing to make her an anniversary cake at no charge.

If a cake ruined her wedding then I'm afraid she will have a lifetime of disappointments.



My sentiments exactly!!!
post #38 of 119
If this happened to me (and I guess it still could since my wedding day still has yet to come), I, for one, would be upset enough (at least on a temporary basis) that I would say in the heat of the moment that it ruined my evening. To have something that is such an important part of your perfect day messed up, would result in enough disappointment that it would put a shadow on your wedding day. I have a feeling the OP's statement was more a figure of speech to describe how horrible this mistake was and how disappointed the bride felt.

Besides, I hate raspberry filling in cakes. If I cut into my cake and found raspberry, I would be devastated. I'm also one of those who think the wedding cake importance comes right after the groom. Give her some credit. Plus, if I would put possibly $1000 on a cake, it had better turn out right.

I have run into vendors for my friend's weddings where they just ignored what the bride wants and it can be very frustrating and sometimes the brides do overreact. Do you blame them? They tell people what they want and get nowhere with them.

I would definitely request a refund (if for no other reason than they just weren't paying attention) and it would be fantastic if they would make her a fresh anniversary cake.
post #39 of 119
I'm mainly in the "get over it" group. She does deserve a partial refund and a free anniversary tier, but if it ruined her day, she needs some perspective.

I don't see a contradiction in saying that "It's just cake" compared to a marriage-- a lifetime commitment and still feeling somewhat annoyed with those uninformed who are unaware of what goes into even a relatively simple cake and don't want to pay for it and say "it's just cake". A wonderful cake can make any occasion that much more special. A cake should not be able to ruin anyone's wedding. I had so much fun on my wedding day, in part because I refused to be stressed about every little detail. I assume some stuff went wrong. I really don't know and am quite happily married.
post #40 of 119
Just adding my 2 cents worth on this one...IF i DON'T, i'LL BURST!
First of all, if the cake was decorated beautifully, who was going to know it wasn't what was ordered on the INSIDE besides the immediate family?
Second, what is wrong with people??! Honestly! Lighten up and learn to LAUGH at life's LITTLE problems people! If this small little mishap "ruined" their wedding, I feel sorry for them when real life hits them in the face!
Hopefully their like will go smoothly, and not be faced with horrible mishaps like MINE was! A husband who had a heart attack at 45, a child born with so many problems that she had to endure 31 surgeries by the time she ws 9 yrs. old... and so on! I mean COME ON FOLKS! If they are going to allow something so trivial like a wrong cake flavor to ruin their beautiful day, what will they do when the REAL crap hits the fan?? I have learned one thing in my life full of messy mishaps...YOU MUST LEARN TO FIND HUMOR in ALL situations as difficult as it may be at times! Maybe you won't find anything funny until long after it happens, but trust me, it's the ONLY way to get through the messy parts of life and keep your sanity.
I guess I just keep perspective on small things like a wrong cake flavor...I had to learn this the hard way when I lived in a pediatric ward with my daughter and saw some horrible things for a long time! I'm sorry to make this seem so depressing , bu tit's true! I can't help but get a little P.O.'d when I see and hear things like this when there is so much more BIG things to get upset over. Sorry...I HAD to get this off my chest. Freedom of speech ya know! icon_biggrin.gif
Now...everyone go hug their kids, and kiss their hubby and remember...in the scheme of life...IT'S ONLY A CAKE!!!
post #41 of 119
Quote:
Originally Posted by subaru

Ya know, years ago when I was a newlywed at 18, I probably would have over reacted. But, now at 50, I'm a lot wiser (I think). As so many others have already stated, it is not the end of the world. Yes, she should be refunded part of her money, and a anniversary cake would be nice, but I hope she can get over it, and concentrate on what is really important. Building a life for her new husband, family and friends, and being happy. Some day she will be older and will have lost people that she loves, and that silly cake won't matter at all.



Very well put. I think this is what it all boils down to. When we're young, we think mistakes on our wedding day, like the wrong cake, is horrible. Small, yes, but we have yet to experience all that life has to throw at us. In a few years, they probably will be able to look back at it and see how funny it all was. But for now, this is probably the worst thing that has happened to her. We don't all experience the cruelties of life. I believe a lot of you who say you think it's awful how she's reacting would probably have reacted the same way at that age.
post #42 of 119
Ya know, years ago when I was a newlywed at 18, I probably would have over reacted. But, now at 50, I'm a lot wiser (I think). As so many others have already stated, it is not the end of the world. Yes, she should be refunded part of her money, and a anniversary cake would be nice, but I hope she can get over it, and concentrate on what is really important. Building a life for her new husband, family and friends, and being happy. Some day she will be older and will have lost people that she loves, and that silly cake won't matter at all.
post #43 of 119
i just got done watching oprah which i rarely do- and it was about a dr who's been fighting pancreatic cancer now in the final stages- and he was talking about one time when he went over to his sister's place with his new car and everyone was joking around dont touch uncle's car dont get it dirty etc etc and giggling..

then to his sister's shock he was in the back seat pouring a can of soda over the backseat..... the kids laughing etc.. his sister asked "what are you doing to your new car?" he said "Its just a thing-" and that moment actualy helped his nephew feel better later on when he had a flu moment in uncles car later- because it was just - a - thing..

i know its not the same - thing- as a wedding cake- but ... as he said its just a thing.. embrace the true reasons for being happy-


and please dont think i'm on some preaching mission or a soap box.. i just happend to watch this and it helped me get over something that happend this weekend personaly...........

anyways.. despite all this and that- i'm glad the bride had a wonderful wedding. she, her husband and family are most deserving i'm sure.
i've gone crazy~ but it keeps me from going insane! heheheh
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i've gone crazy~ but it keeps me from going insane! heheheh
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post #44 of 119
As a person running a cake business, I would offer a partial refund--the partial part because it was decorated properly and didn't ruin pictures atleast. They would also get a fresh cake for the anniversary in the correct flavor along with a huge apology.

I am much more laid back now that I am older, but I planned for ages for my wedding and I would have been upset if one detail of my wedding was messed up. The family things you can't help, but your caterer and cake decorators, florists, etc are paid professionals. You are paying them high dollars to do EXACTLY what you want. If the order is not as stated on the contract, that vendor breached and you need to bring it to their attention. Don't rip their head off when you do, but they need to know they messed up. It was said earlier here, they requested that flavor for whatever reason, and that's what they should have had.

Whoever said money doesn't buy happiness never shopped in my bakery.

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Whoever said money doesn't buy happiness never shopped in my bakery.

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post #45 of 119
From what I read, the cake looked like she wanted it was just the wrong flavors. If it were the wrong cake altogether then yeah it would have put a damper on the reception for me. But the design was right so that shouldn't have made a difference it would have looked right for pictures. Now that the flavors were wrong yeah I would have been upset. Yeah I think a Partial refund should be automatic. But it has been said on here to many times to count. The Cake was eaten wasn't it. Then it must not have been too bad. I as a decorator would have been mortified and graciously given a partial refund. But I did do the work. The design was right and the cake was edible even if it was the wrong flavors. (which I wouldn't do I'm too obsessive compulsive)

Not saying the bride is wrong to be upset, but there are so many other things that could have gone wrong. The cake flavor should have been the smallest thing, and shouldn't have ruined a wedding. Do go talk to the decorator. The contract wasn't upheld. But I hope she goes on to have a Wonderful life with a wonderful husband and doesn't stress about it anymore. Looking back it could be funny.

cCc
Life may not be the party we hoped for . . . but while we're here we might as well dance!

Mommy to Cameron 13, Deirdra 10, Andrew 8, Emily 6.
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Life may not be the party we hoped for . . . but while we're here we might as well dance!

Mommy to Cameron 13, Deirdra 10, Andrew 8, Emily 6.
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