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Offended my MOTHER!!!!!

post #1 of 28
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icon_mad.gif Ok, start out with the angry face b/c.....my mother comes in at 8:30PM to drop off my son and asks if I remembered when HER friend ASKED ME to do a birthday cake for her son!! I said...yes, when is it? does she still want me to do it? "Yes, his birthday was today!!!" She looked at me like she couldn't believe I forgot! I said her friend NEVER told me when she wanted it...just wanted to know if I could do it. So she asks if I could still do one for this Saturday. I said sure.....what does she want. She said he likes computers. I said I could come up with something....then said....how many people should it feed and how much does she want to spend?? Mom said..."you're going to charge her??" She said I have been doing all kinds of cakes for people at work for free...and i barely know them...but I would make her friend pay. I tried to explain those were cakes from my Wilton classes and they just got lucky that I didn't have anything else to do with them....plus her friend ASKED me to do it....I didn't volunteer!!!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!! She asked how much I would charge for a small cake and said $15......and my MOTHER thought that was too much for her friend!!! icon_mad.gificon_mad.gif I said that is pretty much at cost to just cover my supplies!! Then she said "well, I'll have to see if she still wants it!!"

It's Thursday night for crying out loud!!! icon_mad.gif I need to know what to do so I can start tom!!

MOTHERS!!! I love her...but jee whiz!!!

Thanks for letting me rant a bit!!
Christine
post #2 of 28
LOL.. I feel for you Christine.. you're kinda caught between it all because of your Mom ... but in my honest opinion, she shouldn't ask you to do them for free icon_sad.gif
Cheryl a/k/a ntertayneme (n-ter-tayne-me)
www.legateaux.com
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Cheryl a/k/a ntertayneme (n-ter-tayne-me)
www.legateaux.com
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post #3 of 28
I had a topic on this not too long ago actually mine was the opposite it was the mother in law Well since I got everyones opinions on how to handle extended family I emailed them all a flyer HA! HA! Hey I actually got an order from my brother in law off of it! However he tryed to take me for $10 I went to his house and collected or I never would have saw it! It was for an 1/2 sheet with the BCT I charged him $30 because it was for work not family so he didn't get the family discount. icon_lol.gif
post #4 of 28
Oh no. How I sympathise with you Christine. Sometimes it seems we can never do right with our mother-in-law icon_sad.gif

This is actually an interesting topic. When should one charge friends/family? I know a lot has been said that we should charge, no matter what. If you choose to give a big discount to friends, then that's a personal choice.

I've just started on this baking/decorating route and i'm finding it a bit uncomforable charging good friends, although my friends would never order a cake for free. That would be too presumtious, wouldn't it?

I was wondering for all of you out there that does charge your friends but give them a discount, how much % would you give? We're talking about full decorated cakes like birthday cakes and special occasion cakes. Do you guys also feel more pressure or higher expectation baking for friends than people you don't know?

thank you.
post #5 of 28
I think we need to get Paul Harvey in on this one,, For More of the story..hahaha..

Anyway, I think that you should only GIVE cakes away If You want to. icon_twisted.gif & for Mom to think that you were just going to GIVE a Cake to her friend because of their friendship is really not Fair to you.

I really think that Mom needs a break down of the cost of supplies, your time, and the time your oven is on, this all Cost you money, Not to mention you have to buy the cake box and boards. & then ask her if she can understand that is why you said 15.00 for a speicality cake. which would be MUCH more from a bakery. And then say well Mom, You wanna pay for it since you dont think ~insert friends name here~ should????

I love you Mom but I can't do this all for free. icon_twisted.gificon_surprised.gif

Sometimes People just get wrapped up in My Daughter or Son can do this or that and dont think anything about offering you up to do something.. hahaha.. Gotta Love 'Em .

But Rant any time we all Understand and are great for Lifting each others spirits.

Good Luck with the Cake! icon_lol.gificon_biggrin.gif

~Sweet~ icon_rolleyes.gif
I'm Tellin Ya What I Know! =0)
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I'm Tellin Ya What I Know! =0)
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post #6 of 28
That would frustrate the bejeebers (<- that's a technical term, LOL) out of me too. Look at it this way, your Mom was probably bragging to her friend about your cakes when the subject came up, so somehow, this is a compliment to you. (Looking for the silver lining here...) icon_smile.gif

Hope you get it all worked out.
Time that you enjoyed wasting wasn't wasted.
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Time that you enjoyed wasting wasn't wasted.
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post #7 of 28
I know you're frustrated and I think you have every right to be...but I agree w/momsandraven. Maybe a good plan of action would be to sit down and talk with your mom and gently let her know that it is expensive and time consuming to decorate cakes and that all you're charging is for supplies and maybe a teensy bit for your time. Also...my best referrals are friends and family who i have charged and then their referrals branch into others. I'd apologize for the miscommunication, but stand firm on charging the friend. Don't be too stressed....it'll blow over.
"A person is limited only by the thoughts that he chooses." -James Allen
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"A person is limited only by the thoughts that he chooses." -James Allen
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post #8 of 28
Christine,

{{{{Hugs}}}} I'm so sorry that you're mom treated you that way. Please make the friend pay, because she will be back for more if you don't. Let us know how it turned out. {{{{Hugs}}}}

Denise
post #9 of 28
Mothers sometimes have a sneaky habit of volunteering their children to do things!! icon_surprised.gif ( I know mine did, and it was usually at the worst time ) My rule is this. I will provide free cakes to my sister and her children (there is only the two of us and she only has two kids) Any one else in the family pays. I do not charge them what I would charge a regular "customer". But I do charge enough to cover the cost of my supplies. If my sister says to me " my friend wants you to make a cake for ... I give her a copy of my price list to give to that friend. Or I say give her my phone number and I will talk to her directly. This way it keeps my sister out of the middle and the friend knows I expect payment for my services. I hope you and mom work this out!! icon_rolleyes.gif Good Luck!
Ginny
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Ginny
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post #10 of 28
A friend of my husbands wife invited us to her husbands birthday party. She said no gifts. In the next breath she asked me to bring a cake & that can be our gift to him!!! Do you think she has any intention of paying for the cake? Me either. I think it was a rude way of getting a free cake!! And of course I'll bring it!! Just wanted to share.

lilyrose
post #11 of 28
Geez, I'm SO sorry you got stuck in the middle of that! Just to share, I had an order for my mom's friend because she wanted a b-day cake for her son (she ordered the cake at 5:30 pm and wanted it early the next day). Well, I made the cutest hamburger cake and my mom called in the morning to tell her it was done. The "friend" casually canceled over the phone because they decided to have the party the following Saturday. She then called the following Saturday to ask if we remembered the cake...I was like,"You never actually ordered one!". To make a long story short I think she should have paid for the first one anyway, but my mom was just *shocked* that I thought this and told her not to worry about it. And, once again...we only charged her $15 in the end...a huge deal! I feel your pain!!!
post #12 of 28
A good friend of mine owns a gas station...I pay whatever the pump reads. My first cousin is a plumber. I pay whatever the going rate is. My brother's Godfather owns a deli. I pay the cost of my groceries. I never have bad feelings after forking over the dough. As a matter of fact...I while drive a few blocks out of my way for gas just to give my friend the business.

Why in the world do we have these feelings of guilt when we ask for money for our hard work? Excluding immediate family....I think everyone should pay us just like we pay them!!!
post #13 of 28
adven68 --- you nailed it! Good thought process!
"A person is limited only by the thoughts that he chooses." -James Allen
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"A person is limited only by the thoughts that he chooses." -James Allen
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post #14 of 28
I posted a couple months ago about a wedding cake i was "asked" to make and was never given a date, # of people or any details on what kind of cake - well - the friend that asked me to make the cake "for her friend" was my mom! you gotta love 'em! She called me 3 days before the wedding asking if i'd started the cake yet. I already had a tiered cake and a first birthday cake going for the same day. I wasn't able to make the wedding cake. I heard more stories from people that my mom had given on why i didn't make the cake for "her" and how i'd let her down, etc. It's very frustrating! The other side of the family knows they will be paying for a cake when they ask for one unless I decide to tell them no charge and no one has a problem with it! It's not easy but stick to your guns!

Good Luck!
Debbie
Hope your day is a piece of cake!
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Hope your day is a piece of cake!
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post #15 of 28
I am sorry to hear this, pinkbunny!!!! Really, she should be looking at for you and if anything finding customers for you!!! icon_surprised.gif
Its always about cake!!
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Its always about cake!!
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