Wedding Cake Catastrophe - Page 4

i would have your daughter get the pictures and talk to her mother in law about how upset she was with her friends behavior. How the cake was a very important part of her weddding for her and that her friend ruined it. She can inform her that you have purchased a anniversary tier for her because you know how important this was. This will at least let her know where she stands on future arguments with the inlaws. If they blow her off as being to "sensitive" about it, you know no matter what you say will make a difference. But if they say they will discuss it with the buttercream wearing drunk, they will be approachable on other issues. Like not feeding the future grandchildren chocolate cake in white clothes.

As someone that had a fair share of disasters at my wedding (fight, disputes with kitchen help, dj wanting to leave early) I have come up with the following. My wedding was beautiful and perfect, before the guests arrived... I hope your daughter enjoyed the rest of her day and has a very happy marriage. Your son in law was wise not to cause a scene at the wedding. It could have made it worse.

I love Kitty's solution . . . sounds so sweet, but only a brick wouldn't get the point!

sunnybono! That is so funny!
I'm sorry Sunny77, there are some people out there who think they are above the rules of society! I am a firm believer of what goes around comes around. I would not retaliate to save your daughter from having to deal with this. Good luck with whatever you do.

I like Kittypterror's viewpoint and I probably would go that route now. I am also with Indydebi as far as I would have absolutely no problem pulling someone out by the hair if they ever attempted to do that at one of the functions that I were hosting. I have no patience for people whom act this way and it will not be tolerated with me.
I think I would check with your DD and her new husband first to see what they have to say about the incident.
I am so sorry that this happned on such a special event in your daughters life. I would love to see what the cake looked like before the made her appearance.
Let us know what happens...

Oh dear... I am so sorry for that challenge, and the wonder of it is that no one witnessing could disway this spectacle.

I think your involvement should be to arrange the replacement of the topper for her freezer, or a replacement sent to her home for her anniversary. The rest is your daughter's and her husband's to choose how to deal with, as it involves their future, and affects you only peripherally.

If the woman's behavior has caused you enough grief that you have to speak about it to put it to rest, then pay her an early morning visit and let her know face to face how upset you were and what you did to repair the mess as best you could. You will find the woman's true character in how she responds to that, and that should let you know to watch out for her in future.

Court cases rarely do anything for this sort of thing but cost more money than cakes do. Lessons are not learned because impaired is impaired. It's a done deal and at this point, look to moving forward.

Escallating feudal behaviors is the stuff wars are made of and I think we all have enough of that on the planet. I sometimes wonder what idiotic behaviors on the part of the so few, started most of what we come to know as war, but one thing I am sure of, it is unbridalled anger. I'd let it go and be focussed to supporting my daughter and sil in whatever way they ask.

I'm telling ya .... you don't have to actually go to court. A letter in her mailbox with an address of "Attorney at Law" will get her attention!

There isn't anyone's previous post that I don't agree with in some respect, and after reading the whole thread, I just have one question: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO PEOPLE STANDING UP FOR THEMSELVES AND WHAT IS RIGHT AND FAIR?!

I personally am not one to create waves, unless I feel I or my family have been wronged. This happened to your daughter and your new son-in-law (remember, mother's eat those that mess with their young!) I wouldn't give a rat's *** who the in-laws are, who the drunken high society person is, or how well connected they all are - they would all most certainly get a piece of my mind - if nothing else, just so I would feel better by letting them know THEY ruined MY daughter's one and only special day!!! Just because these people might have a little more money and stature in the community doesn't give them no holds barred access to do whatever they want to whomever they want, and hurt people's feelings in the process. I can say this because my FIL is a local businessman and very well connected, but he doesn't act like an *** either. I would have to get things off my chest, just so I wouldn't have a stroke or heart attack over it - then let it go. Yes, there may be consequences, but if your daughter and son-in-law, and yourself (for that matter) don't speak up for yourselves now, the new in-laws and their high society friends will run over you later on. I also know this, because I had to put my MIL and two of my SIL's in their places very early on. I could go on and on, but other posts have made the point. Think down the road when the birthday, anniversary, baby shower, and grandchildren's birthday's, and all the other things you want to celebrate with cake come along - stand up for yourself and your family NOW, so things like this never happen again!!!

I would also ask for or go to court for my money. I asked for 1/2 of the expenses on non-refundable deposits, etc. from the groom's family when my daughter cancelled her wedding. It took 2 months, but they did pay up after I threatened to take them to small claims court.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Mimi

DITTO THAT.

BIG DITTO.

"Drunky Drunkerson" should pay for the entire cake. AND should pay for the topper for the anniversary.

FIRST try to get a hold of those pics...... if you can ask for them without mother-in-law knowing WHY you want them... like laugh it up when you ask for the pics and once you get them--- well you know.

MIMIFORD ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A previous post noted that "what goes around, comes around". Absolutely! Someone goes to a wedding and acts like a drunken no-account, then what comes around is the repercussions for those actions!

(I'm not a fan of being a doormat.)

I seem to agree with everyone else. I'm sorry this had to happen to you and your daughter on her wedding, and I think the woman should have to pay, but I'm with Doug on the fact that you get the Pics and then find a Lawyer to send that nice letter and a nice little lawsite her way for the price of the cake and for the new top and for your poor daughters and your stress.

Again very sorry and I hope that everything works out for yall.

I wouldn't let it slide, but I think it's matter for the bride and groom to handle.
I'm also a fan of husbands and wives taking care of these kinds of things each with their own families.


Imo, this is a matter that the groom should be taking care of entirely! It was his mother and his mother's friend, he should be telling them both exactly what he wants done. The last thing I think you ought to do is step into the middle of it. It was their wedding and it's his family.

I'd want every dime in damages to be paid, but I think the groom is the one who has to step up to the plate and take care of it.

That is on eupsetting story! I am SO sorry that this happened. If this were MY wedding, I would be in a lawyer's office with those pictures and be suing not only for the cost of the cake but some emotional damages as well...and I am not someon ewho believes in sueing for every little thing. This was just too wrong! So sorry this happened. I am a person who is very strongly against alcohol...this is just another story that pleads my case...alcolhol is NOT needed at any event!

OK well I have to face off with you on this indydebi lol.... kidding of course... we only differ in how we act/react to events and probablly are equally appalled and frustrated at humanity for these throwups.

I am in no way a fan of dormat mentalities either.
What I would say is, make your battles meaningful enough that the outcome isn't about the money, (unless the money is that meaningful to you) but is about the people involved. I'm going here on the basis that we do not know this person, (if alcoholism is involved it's illness and we need to start treating it so) and if I am upset enough about a stranger's behavior, I will go face to face with them, not have a letter do it for me. and I also don't care who they are society wise. I would however fully support my daughter and her husband in however they chose to handle the matter. They are grown ups and this is theirs to handle however they choose. A letter from Attourney at Law may get you your money, but the event goes unresolved as does the anger and that has to go somewhere. It usually gets injected into another event for resolution somewhere, sometime... a lot of baggage to carry I think. The whole thing in the end isn't about cakes and ruined weddings and money. It is about who we are and who we choose to be, and that is what governs out movements. I would still go see the woman, and she would know who I am before I was done with her, and I would know who she is, and that is the resolution of all war.

Thanks indydebi for the "thumbs up."

Maybe I should change my name to MommaBear or something - mess with my kids (grown - doesn't matter) or grandson and the fight is on!!! Husband still needs the b**** in me to stand up for him sometimes too.

I think it's age - after years of trying to be polite and "yes sir or yes ma'am" as I was taught getting me nowhere, had to change the game plan. Screw being nice to some people - THAT gets you nowhere.

BTW Sunny77, my husband and I just got back from Nashville - stopped by the Belle Meade Plantation last Friday on the way home and there was a wedding being set up there - just had to comment on the trip. We loved Nashville and hope to get back soon - everyone was soooo nice. Belle Meade would be a beautiful place for a fall wedding - would have loved to have stayed, but that's called "crashing" isn't it?

OK well I have to face off with you on this indydebi lol.... kidding of course... we only differ in how we act/react to events and probablly are equally appalled and frustrated at humanity for these throwups.

I am in no way a fan of dormat mentalities either.
What I would say is, make your battles meaningful enough that the outcome isn't about the money, (unless the money is that meaningful to you) but is about the people involved. I'm going here on the basis that we do not know this person, (if alcoholism is involved it's illness and we need to start treating it so) and if I am upset enough about a stranger's behavior, I will go face to face with them, not have a letter do it for me, and I also don't care who they are society wise. I would however fully support my daughter and her husband in however they chose to handle the matter. They are grown ups and this is theirs to handle however they choose. A letter from Attourney at Law may get you your money, but the event goes unresolved as does the anger and that has to go somewhere. It usually gets injected into another event for resolution somewhere, sometime... a lot of baggage to carry I think. The whole thing in the end isn't about cakes and ruined weddings and money. It is about who we are and who we choose to be, and that is what governs out movements. I would still go see the woman, and she would know who I am before I was done with her, and I would know who she is, and that is the resolution of all war.