My DH says I need to just close my business and be done with everything. I had my 2nd order for desserts for thanksgiving and he told me I'll never make any money at this so why bother. I just told him I do it because I like baking and making desserts and he gave me one of those whatever looks. Jon (my DH) then said I should drop out of culinary school and just stay home to clean and take care of our kids. Let me be the first to say that my DH was really grouchy yesterday and was being a jerk! He's the one who totally pushed me into opening a small business! I only want to do a few orders a month since I'm a SAHM and in school full time, but he expects me to make a killing at this, which I just don't see happening, but I still like doing it. My first order was for 12 decorated 4 inch cakes torted and filled to look like snowflakes and then 2 dozen cake balls. I totally underpriced but it was a learning experience and it was for my church and I use their kitchen. My 2nd order was for an oreo cheesecake, choc-kalua mousse (in a crust so it could be sliced) and 2 dozen cake balls. I use quality ingredients and I felt kind of bad that with tax it came to $80.25 since it was for my mom's friend. I hate charging people!!!!!!!!!!! I'm by no means a pro at this (especially decorated cakes) is it always this hard. I'm not stressed at all when making the items just after I deliver them! I'm beginning to wonder if my DH is right and I should just stop all together. Guess I'm just bummed right now and need some CC support or advice since my DH and most members of my family decided I should just quit. How do I show them I can do this, if I'm questioning it myself?

Please dont get discouraged! I hope that your husband can find a way to be more supportive of what you want to do. What are your plans after you graduate from culinary school? How does your cake decorating fit in with those plans? Good luck!

Hon, don't let those people get you down. I'm sure you are already doing a good job taking care of your kids and it sounds like you are crazy busy, so why shouldn't baking be your one personal thing. It is calming and it's something you love. It's like asking a guy to stop watching sports. That is the one thing that most love and can relax to. Since you are so busy you have to have something that you love or you will go crazy!! Do what makes you happy because otherwise you are not living life to the fullest.

I hope you don't quit. It does take a lot of energy to do what you are doing - School, family, etc... The satisfaction you get from baking should be it's own reward right now and from other forums this business (cakes, baking) is not by any means a get rich quick kind of a thing. Maybe DH just needs some attention? The male ego can be a fragile thing especially with strong willed women - just ask my DH! Communication, communciation, communication - easier said than done. Just make sure the decision that is made is yours because it is YOURS not what someone else thinks is the way to go.
Rebecca

Dear DH,

You know, you're right!

I won't make scads of money at this until I finish school and can open a full time business -- right now, I'm just an intern.

I won't make boo-coo bucks at this until I don't have to stay at home all day and do all the housework and all the cooking and all the errands without any help from anyone else ::cough:: as in you ::cough::.

I won't be rolling in dough, tho' I will be rolling dough, until you and I realize this is a BUSINESS and therefore NO: discounts, breaks, underpricing for anyone -- well maybe a donated cake to a charity fund-raiser now and then, max 4 a year.

Signed,

your loving, stressed, I'm still learning here! wife.

I disagree. I think you can make a good living if you are determined, have patience, take care of your customers (don't just rush into being money-hungry) and understand that talent comes at a price.

Ditto to all those who have replied.


What you are doing is hard...don't get discouraged and listen to what YOU really want (be sure to spend quality time with DH and kids). Don't listen to the ones that live OUTside your home...as my step-mom said to me yesterday after making her favorite grandchild's b-day castle cake..."just leave it in the car until we're done eating!"

Not much support, but who cares it's what makes me happy!!

P.S. I did NOT leave it in the car!!!

oh Honey, I'm so sorry that you're going through all this.

There may be more issues at play that you really know. We cannot read your DH mind. He could be afraid in so many levels, that you succeed and leave hm, that you end up making more money than him.

That right now you're spending way to much money..lol...that he feels neglected.

Going through culinary school was the hardest things I ever had to do, so much work, I thought oh piece of cake, I can do this, bake a few things..ha..there were so many projects..every 9 days I had to do one!

Design, draw cut away images and price 10 cakes, do a full menu with recipes, English..and every Lab class had a notebook due at the end of it..pictures, lecture notes and handouts!

But, if it's something you love to do, you will eventually suceed.

Don't be discouraged by your DH and DF.

Tell them those famous Marie Antoinette words...

LET THEM WANT TO EAT CAKE! hahaa

no seriously, if you don't do this now you will always regret it for the rest of your life.

Work something out with the hubby, maybe he's just feeling neglected that you found something so fulfilling!

Make it fun for him...and give him extra hugs and reasurance that everything will be worth it in the long run!

{{{HUGS FOR YOU}}}

Thanks everyone, I needed that boost of confidence back since I had the wind taken out of my sails! I'm not giving up, I just can't! I'm not a quitter (even though at times in life I should) I almost always follow through with something I start unless my family needs me more. I think that's why I was questioning it a little. My DH is going through a really hard time in life right now! He lost his dad this year to a hard battle of cancer and then his own business is slowly killing him with how much time it takes to run it. He hardly ever is home so it's pretty much just me and the kids most nights. He honestly thinks school is easy and I sit on my butt all day around the house! He jokes that I'm not in culinary school but in an expensive eating club. He tells people he's proud of me and will tell them what I do to help out, but hates when I actually have to MAKE something. He wants me to be successful but just doesn't see that happening and that's what started this all.....and it just went downhill from there!

Anyways, I know a business is a LOT of work and I love hard work so that's not a problem for me. I'm just probly putting more in then I'll see come out anytime soon, but such is life with any business -- no matter how big or how small! I just can't stop or I'll regret it forever!!!!!!!!!!

My plans after school is to hopefully train under a chef/pastry chef for a while and absorb their knowlege like a sponge. I want to put more time into my business then and hopefully watch it grow from miniscule to small or medium size My big plan is to actually get my BS and I will need 6-10 years field experience before I can begin teaching Culinary skills. I want to work within a high school/adult ed setting and also help special needs kids a few times a month since it is good therapy for them to cook! (my son is in special ed for speech and other kids in his class have severe problems, they said cooking is an excellent medium for kids to learn and improve their therapy skills) I have 4 kids of my own (ages 6,4,3 and 1) and cooking helps me stay calm when helping them with their speech and occupational therapy, math, science and just plain keeping them busy! This is where my heart is....I know I won't be making much money with my life plans but that's ok, I just want to be happy. My DH flip flops from supportive to extreamly negative and unsupportive lately. I think you are all right that he needs some more time too and that he is going through a lot. I just wish I could help him, but I hate walking on egg shells most days, it doesn't take much to get him to be frustrated anymore. He was happy until the last few years and now he is mostly withdrawn from the world unless he is working.

I appreciate all your advice and comments! It truely does mean a lot to me when I feel like I've been kicked in the gut by the people I trust the most! Thanks also for the laughs, I needed those too! Melissa

I know exactly how that is..I didn't date while I was in school never had time and now with my own business..forget about it! lol

People think that when you go to cooking school..all you do is cook and eat! ha..

We would sweat our B@@@s OFF ...and most off us looked like we just finished going through war..chocolate war, flour war...stuff all over ourselves.

But every day we had to show up...clean , starched and pressed! lol

not only did we do out time at school, we also had to do 75 hours of volunteer work every term...then another class you had to do 20 hours of community service..MANDATORY for graduation.

Oh yeah...cooking and eating was ALL I did in school!!

ha

I think your desire to teach special needs children is an awesome thing! Bless your heart - it sounds like you have your hands full! I completely understand - One of my boys (I have two boys and one girl) is in special education and we spend an enormous amount of time with his different therapies. I never thought about how cooking could help him. What a neat idea. Thank you for sharing that! Keep up the good work and don't give up on your dreams.

Risque, I look like I've just had food spray across me most days at school. I go in clean and pressed and come out filthy, sweaty and oh, boy do I need a shower as soon as I can when I get home! On the days where I think "sweet, I didn't get that dirty" I go and wash dishes and then the sprayer hits the huge pot of marinara sauce and that thought is over.

Cajundaisy, cooking really does help, try it out with your son if you can. Hope your little guy is doing well, all those therapy sesons really do take up a lot of time.