Yah, I would send her a letter telling her since she couldnt tell you the final decision on the design and that she couldnt give you the final payment that you have no choice but to give her date to someone else. And if you choose to refund her the money, which at this point I think you shouldnt because I think you have already spent it on supplies, tell her why she isnt getting it back. Do you have a contract?

I'm not sure you should totally rely on emails for this one. Sounds like this bride needs a phone call to understand that she is not getting a cake or her deposit.

you did have her sign a contract right? maybe just send her another photocopy of it and highlight the deposit information.

stories like these just floor me. 8 years ago my wedding was a very big deal to me. my mom is a florist and did all my flowers (amazing by the way!) and the details of my wedding were a very big deal. ALSO, being raised practically IN my mom's shop, things like PAYING YOUR STINKIN' BILLS were a very big deal too. it's too bad not everyone knows the time, money, & huge amounts of effort businesses -especially small business take. good for you that you're taking a stand. otherwise you'd be kicking yourself in the butt after delivering that cake driving away knowing you're not getting the rest of your money!

I agree with cakesbycathy- you should really speak to her on the phone to be sure that she REALLY understands that she will not be getting a cake from you. It is all too easy for people to say, "I didn't get the e-mail" I always send things read receipt if I want to be sure the recipient has gotten the e-mail and then save it in case it ever comes up in the future.

I wish you the best of luck with this situation- one more reason why I haven't ventured to do a wedding yet- even though I have been asked many times.
Best Wishes

I feel bad that you're in this situation. It/she just stinks all the way around! As far as "no cake, no deposit back"....what does your signed contract state about keeping her deposit/deadlines? You may not be entitled by law to keep her deposit if there's no signed contract?

Good luck....wish you the best of it in this sticky situation! Please keep us posted.

I remember when you asked us for help on that infinity design! How strange was that!

I agree with everyone! Get rid of her! Send her a delivery conformation letter and priority it with her deposit and why you are refunding her the money! You need to make it clear to her real fast that you are not going to deal with this bull anymore!

Wow. I remember the infinity design too! Good for you Susan for standing up to her. I have a flaky bride next weekend that sounds like this one's sister! But, after meeting with her in person, I realize she, too, is on a very tight budget and to her, getting married is more important than cake design. She's having a very non-traditional wedding so we were able to make the cake fun. Granted, she only decided on a design 10 days before the wedding! I nearly cancelled on her as well, but it's a friend of a friend.

I think you did the right thing. Now I do not always agree with decorators who are ready to jump ship (with the deposit) when the couple is 12 seconds late with their final payment...but this person obviously didn't respect or value your time.

I have done flowers for weddings in the past and have also had a bridezilla and it was absolutely awful. She got exactly what she wanted down to pearl pin placement and then had her mother and mother in law attack my partner and myself through e-mail for the next week. I personally would RUN, but make sure you have tried every avenue to get in touch with her so she can't come back and try to get money out of you for not doing it.

I do think that a phone call, telling her that you have sent her emails about cancelling, needs to be done. She is skipping over anything that isn't what she wants to read.

Im afraid when it hits this bride that her wedding is this Saturday and she is not going to have a cake....its gonna get ugly! Im not trying to start a legal/home baker debate....but...correct me if im wrong....if a home baker is not considered legal in that state...would it matter if there was a contract or not? would the deposit still be able to be kept?

If it were me (and I am a home baker, granted I work for free or cake pans ) I woud definitely call her and discuss it with her and make sure she is grasping she isnt getting a cake and needs to find someone to do it....ASAP.....and I would hand over the deposit 100% and try to head off the beast that is sure to rear its head soon....

Susan,
Good for you for putting up with her for so long! Patience is a wonderful thing, but eventually it does run out. You didn't mention anything about a contract. Did they sign anything when they came for the tasting? You may have a problem if they didn't.

I agree with the phone call idea. Especially if you haven't heard anything from her today confirming the receipt of the cancellation email. If you still can't get a hold of her, maybe the other bride from last weekend has a way for you to get a hold of the MOB. At least then there's someone actually on the other end of the phone.

Good luck!
Kathy

With a new baby, she's probably totally stressed out. The cake is probably her last worry. Unfortuneately for you, it's your top priority. I don't blame you one bit. I would call her and tell her with so many changes, canceled appointments, etc. you've already lost too much time, which (at this point) can not be compensated for, even at your original price. It's not her place to assume the discount and make automatic deductions. I feel for you. We all get sucked in. Unfortunately, those are the times we lose out. If she would appreciate your generosity, that would be one thing, but the fact that she hasn't been in touch tells me she doesn't. Good luck.

UPDATE
Well, yesterday when I woke up to get ready to go to work I had an email from her. It was written in all caps (showing her anger). Naturally she blamed me for everything. It was all my fault and none of it was her. She told me that she was coming over to pick up her deposit and that she wanted it to be "IN CASH FORM". pfffft... whatever!
I sent her a nice email back that began with telling her that I wasn't writing in caps so do not read anger in to the email. And that this would be the only email that I send to her because I was not going to be arguing with her. I told her to not try to put this on me. I said that she knew that the reason I was cancelling was because she had not paid me and that she still had no design. I then told her that if she wanted to come over and pick up her deposit that she could do so only if she was in the right frame of mind because I was not going to argue with her. Otherwise, she could give me her address and I would send her a cashier's check from the bank if she didn't want me personal check. Then I signed it "Sincerely, Susan"

Later that night I recieved another email that told me I could give the deposit to _______ and she would give it to _________. Then she signed off with Thanks
So I think she had time to cool down. We'll see.

With a new baby, she's probably totally stressed out. The cake is probably her last worry. Unfortuneately for you, it's your top priority. I don't blame you one bit. I would call her and tell her with so many changes, canceled appointments, etc. you've already lost too much time, which (at this point) can not be compensated for, even at your original price. It's not her place to assume the discount and make automatic deductions. I feel for you. We all get sucked in. Unfortunately, those are the times we lose out. If she would appreciate your generosity, that would be one thing, but the fact that she hasn't been in touch tells me she doesn't. Good luck.

I'm sorry that you're in this situation as well. Whether you're legal or not, if she hasn't paid you, you are not bound to provide a service for her. I might err on the side of caution and go ahead and give her her deposit back because you don't know what people may do in the case that they feel the need to retaliate.

Also someone asked if you're not "legal" and you have a contract, would it still be valid. Yes it would. The contract is still a legal instrument which signifies an agreement of terms between two parties. The fact that a person may not operate a "legal" bakery, wouldn't have any bearing on the agreement.

UPDATE
Well, yesterday when I woke up to get ready to go to work I had an email from her. It was written in all caps (showing her anger). Naturally she blamed me for everything. It was all my fault and none of it was her. She told me that she was coming over to pick up her deposit and that she wanted it to be "IN CASH FORM". pfffft... whatever!
I sent her a nice email back that began with telling her that I wasn't writing in caps so do not read anger in to the email. And that this would be the only email that I send to her because I was not going to be arguing with her. I told her to not try to put this on me. I said that she knew that the reason I was cancelling was because she had not paid me and that she still had no design. I then told her that if she wanted to come over and pick up her deposit that she could do so only if she was in the right frame of mind because I was not going to argue with her. Otherwise, she could give me her address and I would send her a cashier's check from the bank if she didn't want my personal check. Then I signed it "Sincerely, Susan"

Later that night I recieved another email that told me I could give the deposit to _______ and she would give it to _________ that would then give it to her. Then she signed off with Thanks
So I think she had time to cool down. We'll see.

Well...I'm glad it is all sorted out for you.I really can't believe that people are so absent minded that they forget to pay and give all the details for a wedding cake.Maybe it's the Virgo coming out in me but I have a hard time accepting that they forget.I too would have returned all the money and said I cannot do the cake and here is why.

Sounds like you handled it right! Too bad for her that she was so mad though...it's her own fault! And you did great telling her not to put the anger on you because of x amount of reasons! Great save! You don't need that headache!

I say good riddance. YOu don't need that kind of stress and game playing. Good for you.

It would be hard, but I would call her and tell her not to bother coming over, because the deposit is nonrefundable, HOLDS THE DATE, and pays for your TIME WASTED on this whole failed (her fault) cake order. So you've lost money on time, AND on the other orders you could've booked for that weekend.

Tell her that you're sorry but you have been forced to cancel the order because:
1. She has not paid for her cake in full by the XX deadline, which in and of itself should qualify her for a cancelation, even without all her other nonsense. She has failed to get you payments when agreed, forgetful or not.
2. She has not decided on a design. (Aside from settling on design and pricing, changing her mind several times, and then asking for Duff cakes..! Give me a break.)
3. She has failed to answer your emails/calls in a timely manner, causing you to be unable to properly prepare for this cake in terms of supplies, ingredients, etc.
4. You are now out of time, because her wedding is in less than a week.

I'd nicely say, "I'm sorry, but the deposit holds the date and is nonrefundable." I don't know how much money she gave for a deposit, but if it's anything like $50.00, that doesn't even cover the time you've spent on trying to get this to come together for her! If it was half the cost of the cake or something, I'd *consider* giving her back some, minus expenses.

HOWEVER, if you didn't have a contract that she signed, with clear dates, pricing, deposit amounts, payment deadlines, design and deposit rules, etc., you may be getting into a stressful spitting match, and it may be easier to just refund her deposit. If she has signed a contract, I wouldn't refund her a penny. Tell her you're sorry it didn't work out, but you will be unable to help her.

Oh, and you could remind her that you were already not charging for the fondant work; don't let her think she would have been able to take $65.00 more OFF the bill...Ok, maybe it's beside the point now, but that burns me!

Of course, keep us posted. These stories are always so interesting...!

I wouldnt trust her. This is a lesson for her to learn. She should be following up on these things.!

I agree with leily....she's wanting to add 2 more sets of hands to an already touchy situation. I'd make the person you're giving it to sign a receipt to cover your behind, that way she can't say you didn't do your part in giving it back to her.

You've been so strong! Go out and buy yourself some flowers! Or do something fun, just for you....STRESS FREE IS KEY!

Kathy

ooo! I agree with making the person you are giving to sign a receipt! You don't want her to come back to you saying she didn't get the money!