Ladies what do you think, my friends came into the house last night to tell us they are getting married on 17th February. Normally I'd be all set to do the Wedding Cake, but....

I'm expecting a baby (have had quite a few medical problems during the pregnancy) and will be having a Ceasarean Section around 20th December, the wedding is just 8 weeks after this. I'll be post-operation and with a new baby. DH is afraid I'll be putting too much pressure on myself too soon after the birth.

I'd like to do it, but half afraid to take on with it in case I'm not able to do it and have to let them down.

Anyone any advice for me, I'd just like an outside opinion.

I think it's too much too soon, sorry. You're having major surgery and a new baby to care for. It's really the surgery that will knock you're socks off.

(And now off to typing lessons. )

Only you know how much you can handle. That being said, I agree with your DH. With a new baby and a c-section , I doubt very much that doing a wedding cake will be high on your list of things you want to do.

I don't want to be a killjoy. Also consider this....think how bad you would feel if you disappointed them.

Good luck to you.

New babies can be extremely overwhelming-especially if it's your first. By 8 weeks, you may have settled into a routine pretty well and will be healed from the C-section, but you will still be very tired.

If your DH really doesn't want you to do it, I wouldn't. If the time came and you were in tears because you just ran out of hours in the day to finish, he may not be as supportive as he normally would be because he had "told you it would be too much". You have to make the decision, but I think I would tell my friend I just don't think I'm going to be up to the task.

I understand that you'd like to make the wedding cake for your friends, but given that you have pregnancy complications and is scheduled for a c-section, it's just too close a date. With a newborn, things can get pretty busy and you wouldn't want to dissapoint your friends should you not be able to do the cake. It would be a real rush for them to find another baker if you find out later that you don't have the time or not in the condition to do the cake.
If you really, really wanna do this cake, at least have a friend scheduled to help you should you encounter any time constraint, etc.
That's my personal opinion.

If this is your first baby, yes. If not, if you have some help around the house and if you heal quickly--WoW that is a lot of if's.

You know you best. You know if it is too much.

I'm with everyone else. I wouldn't do the cake. By 8 weeks I was still exhausted with both of mine. You should take it easy

Sparklycake,

Having had a c-section myself, I can tell you that your husband is right. I am sure your friend will understand, especially since you are already experiencing medical complications. I was just beginning to feel "normal" at about eight weeks, and certainly wouldn't have had the energy for this kind of project. Trust your husband's jusdgement here. This way you won't be worrying, adding to your own pregnancy and post pregnancy stress, and your friend won't worry that she's putting too much on you. (If she isn't thinking of that mow, she will be about the time you have your c-section!) Perhaps you could recommend someone to her so she knows she is getting someone good, or give her a list of questions to ask a cake decorator. You can help her make a wise choice and be excited with her, without the pressure and challenges that you may not be ready for.

Good luck on your decision,
Kathi

Thanks for your honest answers ladies.

I think in my heart I knew what you would say I just wanted other women's perspective before I backed down.... I'd also forgotten to say that I'll probaly be having my baby's Christening the week after their wedding, God Willing that all is well. My In laws are heading off to the US for the month of march so that will be another cake and a buffet to get ready also.

This will be my second section but the last one was nearly 12 years ago and to be honest I can't remember how ill/well I was afterwards and 12 years on its just like a first baby all over again, big adjustments to be made again after all this time and make sure my 12 yr old DD doesn't feel left out between feeds and nappy changes.

It's been 18 years, but I still remember how I felt after my C-section. My advice would be to let someone else do the cake. Enjoy the celebrations with your friends without the added stress of making a cake when you probably won't feel up to it.

I agree, from experience with a c section everyone is different in the healing process. I think on the safe side just enjoy the new baby and focus on yourself. I understand how much you would love to do it though.

Congrats on the upcoming baby!

I agree with everyone else....Each delivery/baby is different and you cannot predict how you will feel or heal.....So, play it safe and for everyone's sanity....especially your own...Kindly offer them another decorator or bakery you know of!! And enjoy that new baby!!

it's o.k. to say no!!!-really don't set yourself up to be stressed -you willhave enough going on-give yourself a break!!!

I know exactly how you are feeling, but have to agree with your DH and all the posts here. I think it'll be too much physically and emotionally for you and your family. Take care and let us know about the baby!

I had a similar situation right after having my third baby this past January. At first I said no, and then changed my mind b/c it was a friend and I really wanted to do it. They wanted a sculpted guitar cake, which took me at least 15 hours to do. I had a natural birth though, no c-section. It was still very very tiring to do at 4 weeks after having a baby! Especially since my baby barely slept....and still doesn't, LOL. A wedding cake would really be a lot of work too.

Congrats!!
Courtney

As a former labor and delivery nurse, mother of two, and someone who decorates cakes, I would strongly advise NO. You never know what your hormones are going to do after delivery. Even if the first was ok, this could be totally different. You don't want the stress of having to plan and decorate a wedding cake in the back of your mind when you are going to be sleep deprived, hurting, etc.

Ok, first of all, it's ok to say no. Perfectly fine!

But, I've had 2 c-sections and I'm going to another in April. And all I have to say is that by 8 weeks, you might be ready for a little distraction that doesn't involve breastfeeding or diapers. If you're doing it from home you can do it on your schedule and really take your time. I'd have your friend choose a relatively simple design and go for it!

Hi Sparklycake,

I agree with the cake ladies on CC! I've had 2 c-sections and eventhough I recovered fairly quickly from them...factor in the lack of sleep, new baby, and other responsibilities...it can be a lot to juggle! I think you will be glad you said no to the wedding cake job.

On a side note, I took my first trip to Ireland in April with my DH and had a fantastic time! My mother, Kathleen, has some Irish blood and all of us children have Irish names (Maureen, Kathleen, Colleen, Kerry and Meghan). It was a dream of mine to go to Ireland. We spent a few days in Dublin then travelled to Killarney. I could do without all the rain... but it was absolutely beautiful there!

Best of luck to you with your new baby!

I agree with everyone.

If YOU really want to do this, you can make the cakes and freeze them..But I wouldn't advise to make a full tiered wedding cake.

You can make a smaller side cake or...HONEYMOOON cake that has meaning to the bride and groom.

Like how the met or hobbies or interests. I wouldn't advise you to make it any larger than a 8" cake, put it in a pretty box with a pretty ribbon.

This way, they get something personal from you, it's not a big commitment if you get it done you get it done.

You can make the little figures on the cake while you are experiencing the NESTING period of your pregnancy.

But, don't tell them...so it's a surprise if you can get it done.

Just a thought..I know that I would be dissapointed if I couldn't do something special for good friends of mine!

But the most important thing here is YOU, your BABY and your HUBBY!...

lol, maybe he can baby sit the precious bundle while you finish your cake? lol

Personally, I wouldn't do it. I know I would be stressing about it everyday up until then. With a new baby and surgery, I think it is to much. But you know how much you can handle.

When I logged back on I couldn't believe the number of replies.

Thanks everyone. My first thoughts were if I did a rich fruit cake, I could have it baked before the baby arrives and also fiddle about with the cake topper and decorations at that stage. Then I could decorate it at will over a few weeks before the wedding. Rich Fruit with plenty of Poiteen lasts upwards on 6 months perfectly.

But I would have no back up ie, there is nobody around me that could decorate it if I wasn't fit to or if my Baby wasn't well, colicy or something and I hadn't time so I think I'll go with DH and the majority of you all here and let it pass this time. Somebody made a suggestion of a Honeymoon Cake, so maybe I'll do that for them for their welcome home party!

This is the the Third Wedding Cake I've had to turn down since I got pregnant... typical, lol. One paid cake which I had booked but had terrible morning sickness and had to cancel for fear I wouldn't be fit to do it and another friend got married a fortnight ago and I would have loved to do that but knew not to even attempt it. Bet you the next one I get a chance of will be 2010!!!

I agree with the majority, and am glad you do too! Although I only have one DD, and didn't have a C-section, there's no way at 8 weeks post partum that I could have even thought about a cake, let alone a wedding cake. 2 of my best friends both had c-sections and one healed farily quickly and the other took a bit more time. I'd err on the side of caution. Good luck!