Cake Central › Cake Forums › Cake Talk › Cake Disasters › offering a word of advice...
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

offering a word of advice...

post #1 of 51
Thread Starter 
New to the site here . I don't know if this would fit into disasters forum, but here goes ...( I can finally vent to people who would acctually know my pain..) I did my nefews wedding cake over the summer . I was asked to make their cake but, I offered it as a wedding present . I was delighted and excited to have been asked to make this for them . Well , as the wedding got closer , the order for the cake was getting larger and more expensive. A simple three tier cake turned into a three tier cake with three different fillings(one for each tier). Each tier, a different flavor cake. Then a full sheet to add to the list , to accomidate the amount of guest that were added at the last minute. Also , creme puffs , cannoli's, and ecalaires ( three trays) were added also. OH, and the bride and groom cake !!! icon_eek.gif oaky, so I know I'm the idiot that kept saying "Sure no problem " and let it keep going . Thats because I offered in the first place and thought it would have been rude to say "no" or be charged .

After all that was said and done , the wedding was beautiful , everything was great . Cake pastries and all . I got alot of compliments and a thank you from the bride and groom.

Two months later I recieved the same thank you note that every one else recieved . I spent over $500 to $600 dollars on the supplies . AND saved them over $1,500 to $2,000 , If they would have gotten it from any place around here. I was accually really hurt. I thought a personal note attached would have been nice. It's not like I showed up at the wedding and ate, then gave them $50 bucks like most guest. (no offence to guest that do )

So my advice over all this to others is , if you offer your services to a family member as a gift weather it's a wedding cake or birthday , make sure you make it clear what you will be able to donate , and any thing here on after has to be paid for some other way. That way you are not being taken advantage of. I know I'm not the only cake decorator that gets this treatment from family and friends.

Thank's for the vent!!
I love this site!!!
post #2 of 51
nydeco wrote:
Quote:
Quote:

So my advice over all this to others is , if you offer your services to a family member as a gift weather it's a wedding cake or birthday , make sure you make it clear what you will be able to donate , and any thing here on after has to be paid for some other way. T



Very wise words! I'm glad you were able to pass a very good lesson along, now if only everyone would take your advice, we could save ourselves alot of stress! thumbs_up.gif
post #3 of 51
Thanks for that - im going to do my cousins wedding cake this spring - and was wondering how it would go --now i know what i dont want to happen. Ill make sure to keep track and even price things before hand

Thanks and Welcome!!

Diana
post #4 of 51
I offer up my services to family for "free" as LABOR ONLY and always make sure they know that they have to fork over the money for the supplies (less of course anything I would be able to keep such as cake pans). Seems to be working well so far, because I don't ever feel like I'm being taken advantage of (knock on wood).
I think all the time and effort you put into something so beautiful should be gift enough.

And btw... any pictures of the end product??
post #5 of 51
Woah, they just sent out a generic thank you note? When I got married 5 years ago I made sure I wrote personal notes for every present. What a shame that your efforts weren't acknowledged! It sounds like you put forth a tremendous effort for them. At least we here know how hard it was!
post #6 of 51
Oh my goodness...I would be hurt as well. I would also assume that when a wedding cake is offered as a wedding present, it offers more free range to the decorator, meaning no major list of requests for cake flavors and fillings...of course you want to please the bride but lets be reasonable... As for the rest of the pasteries I would have kindly told them what I charge for them or at least had them pay for ingredients...I'm sure it was beautifull and they tasted wonderfull and I'm glad you learned a lesson to pass on to all of us, thank you. I'm sure the event was wonderfull exposure for your fansies and I hope it brings you many happy paying clients!! Cheers!!
post #7 of 51
I know how you feel! I did the wedding cake for a present. Approximately 200 people. The difference is, I didn't even get a thank you note and the couple I did this for, I see every Sunday and they don't even acknowlege my husbands or my presence. Isn't that a hoot!!!!

Lu
Don't tell your God how big your problems are--
Tell your problems how big your God is!!!
Reply
Don't tell your God how big your problems are--
Tell your problems how big your God is!!!
Reply
post #8 of 51
WOW--i just got finished telling another member here, that my DH's cousin asked me about doing her wedding cake, what i charged & such....i told DH & he's like you should do it for free, well that's fine, BUT i won't be telling her this--i'll offer it as a wedding present after i set it up, & if things get out of hand, well then i'll charge a little something--WAY TO MANY people have been taken advantage of this way, i really don't understand what causes the recipient of the gift to think they can go crazy because some else says "gift" icon_eek.gificon_surprised.gificon_confused.gif
TARA*GO FLORIDA GATORS
Reply
TARA*GO FLORIDA GATORS
Reply
post #9 of 51
I was in a situation something like this. I made all the bouquets, corsages, boutineers, ring pillow, flower girl basket, table arrangements, small children's cumberbunds/ bowties for my brother's wedding. Not even a thank you! I'm glad that I didn't decorate cakes then or I probably been stuck doing that for free, too! Some people just don't get it, do they?
post #10 of 51
I did a wedding cake as a present twice in the past, but non of them was a hurtful/ungrateful experience.. The last one, who is a very dear and close friend of mine, she gave me a Tiffany crystal as her way of saying thank you for the cake I made for her with a very nice thank you card with a very long personal note.. And during the whole process, she never gave me any orders, I even kept asking her what flavors she likes etc... the other one who is a co-worker, she was also very nice. She gave me a very nice Christmas Snow Globe (high quality) that she got from Costco for $60.00 (I looked at the price when I knew where she got it). And they were both so grateful for what I did and we remained very good friends.

It's sad icon_sad.gif that there are people who take advantage of kind generous people. Maybe don't do this anymore to anyone in the future, regardless of who they are. Just a thought. There's always good karma to good people. icon_smile.gif
post #11 of 51
I am sorry that that had to happen to you. I just read an article about just that topic. This is the link to the article and it is very good advice

Here is what she said
Quote:
Quote:

Even with Brides and Grooms cakes I never tell a Bride I will do her cake for free before she picks out the cake she wants. All of my cake albums have information labels attached to each cake. In that label the price per serving is included along with any additional extra charges such as cake tops, lace pieces, arranging fresh or silk flowers and etc. The Bride looking at these albums can make an informed choice without asking a multitude of questions to be able to stay within her budget. If she is a good friend I have the option or privilege of subtracting a portion of the cost of her wedding cake. Or I may chose to give her the entire wedding cake as her wedding present after she has made her choice. In the past I found that if I told a Bride I would do her cake for free and let her pick anything she wanted, I resented it when she picked a labor intensive cake. You might have had a $300 gift in mind and they choose a $1,000 cake. If they think they are going to be required to pay for the entire cake they are more realistic in their choices.



Here is her link http://www.earlenescakes.com/business04.htm
Lesson learned before I get burned! Thanks for telling us about your story.
Lisa

I dream in buttercream!
Reply
Lisa

I dream in buttercream!
Reply
post #12 of 51
I'm sorry. People seem to really lack manners. You are a wonderful person for being so generous with your time for your family, it should be acknowledged and appreciated.

I flew cross country, with baked cakes in my carry on luggage, and made a wedding cake for my niece. I spent months preparing and practicing (it was my first wedding cake). I haven't even had a thank you note over a year later. Live and learn. All the others will be told they need to go to the bakery.
post #13 of 51
Man, this is crazy!! NOT thanking someone for what they did for you at your wedding-especially the cake?? I am making my first "wedding" cake Thursday night and that is only for my Wilton class-other people in my class were saying they did not want to do the wedding cake because they didn't know what to do with it afterwards. But, I am wondering, DID I thank the lady who did my cake? My wedding was 7 years ago and we as brides-well, me, anyway-are just ready to get it done and get it over with.
I was ready to go away and get out-thanking anyone was probably the LAST thing on my mind. We probably only stayed for about 10 minutes doing the basic stuff- feeding each other the cake, throwing the flowers and garter-and then we were gone. We did not want anyone messing up our car either. I know that is wedding tradition, but we did not want it. I guess because we hate to clean the car. I did send out personal thank-you notes when I got back specifying each thing each person gave me, so I'm sure I did thank her-she gave it as a gift. Anyway, don't down the brides too much-they are probably thinking they thanked you and just don't realize they didn't. icon_wink.gif

Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior! Is He yours?
 

Reply

Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior! Is He yours?
 

Reply
post #14 of 51
That's reall sad that you didn't even get a personal thank you! I've done 5 wedding cakes - 4 for nieces/nephews and 1 for step-daughter of best friend....3 of the 4 were given for gifts --- which they didn't know until they opened their wedding card with a receipt stating 'paid in full"...the other 1 of the 4 I didn't charge for at all because I made it out of town (in GA) in my sister's kitchen and she paid for EVERYTHING I needed (including the pans that she let me keep afterwards!!)...but I still got thank yous...in person AND in a thank you card. Heck, one nephew (whose wedding cake was for 300 people...YIKES!! LOL) even had his DJ announce that the grooms aunt/godmother had made the cake and had the photographer take a pict of bride/groom/me with the cake -- now that was a thank you!!

Some times I wonder what kind of world our kids are growing up in that they don't know how to say a simple "THANKS".....

(sorry I rambled!!)
LilSis
Reply
LilSis
Reply
post #15 of 51
Thread Starter 
Thanks so much for your in put . People don't realize how much time and patience goes onto a gift like that . I just felt I had to vent . Like I said I was thrilled to be able to do it and I gave it with all my heart. But that simple thanks would have made all the difference.And I know the photographer took proffesional pictures of the cake , It would have been nice to have recieved one to add to my porfolio. But I'm going to have to ask for one i think ...lol thanks for the support!!!!!!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Cake Disasters
Cake Central › Cake Forums › Cake Talk › Cake Disasters › offering a word of advice...