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Help me stand Up to my mother...... - Page 8

post #106 of 126
Ohmygoodies, I have a similar situation with my parents in that if they weren't still married I wouldn't talk to one of them so I know how hard it is when you want to see one but not the other. My mother is the good one though at times I can get upset about her letting my father emotionally and verbally abuse us. My younger brother's finacee says that she thinks if my mother divorced my father or passed away first we'd fight over who's turn it was to visit dad that month.
We live only about 6 hours away and we visit maybe 3 times a year, we're about to make our second trip this year and won't be going again until January (last January was the last time we visited). I'd go see my mother more often if it wasn't for my father. I'm not the only one who does that.
In the last couple years it's started getting better because we started getting smarter, now if dad blows up or something everyone goes up the hill to my brother's house or leaves. My mom has started putting her foot down and not letting him drink so much (that doesn't help the temper) because she doesn't want us all to leave, she's always been good at pretending that he's a wonderful father.
When I call I only talk to him if my mom isn't home and most of the time I call my brother's house because she watches the kids during the week.
He was Army and didn't live with us for about half my childhood and when he was with us he was hardly home because he was working but he always talks about what a good job they did raising us. icon_mad.gif He had nothing to do with it, my mother was the one who did almost everything and he never spent time with us girls because we didn't like doing what he does. He was gone from the time I was 12 until I was almost 17 and never took the time to get to know me after he retired. When I mentioned this he actually said "well I couldn't be expected to do the stuff you like because I'm a man so I didn't spend time with you." He still has no idea what I'm really like, he just bases his opinions on the little he sees, for some reason he thinks I'm a submissive housewife (the only way for a woman to be).
He also likes to turn us against each other, he created a horrible competitivness in our house. It took me a while to figure it out, I think some of my siblings still haven't, but he'll say nasty things about my siblings to me and I know that he says them about me behind my back. I've heard that he told a BIL that if he was my husband he would have refused to sleep with me (talk about how wrong him thinking about stuff is) icon_eek.gif until I lost all my baby weight because I'm just too heavy, at the time I was in an 11 but I'm 5'10" and in a normal weight range (since I've dropped a size but I'm sure that's still too big).

Any one who says that I owe my father respect is out of their minds.

And doing cake for family it really depends who it is if they ask. I've done a couple things for my MIL when she's asked and would again. But as much as she drives me crazy they also do things like buy the kids clothes and other things that help us out. THere are other people I would charge even if I gave a family discount, if my mother was like yours I wouldn't buy anything until I had the money and I would charge full price.
"If we are going to teach 'creation science' as an alternative to evolution, then we should also teach the stork theory as an alternative to biological reproduction." - Judith Hayes
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"If we are going to teach 'creation science' as an alternative to evolution, then we should also teach the stork theory as an alternative to biological reproduction." - Judith Hayes
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post #107 of 126
Ohmygoodies-I love Paula Deen, too. She is from where I grew up in GA and is best friends with one of my older cousins. Some of my cousin's recipes and her mother's are featured in her book, the one that are recipes from friends. My cousin is called "Bubbles" in the book, and her mom is "Rene", and "Bubbles" is on the cover of that book in the background. I keep hoping that when I'm down there I'll get the opportunity to meet Paula.
post #108 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by michellenj

Ohmygoodies-I love Paula Deen, too. She is from where I grew up in GA and is best friends with one of my older cousins. Some of my cousin's recipes and her mother's are featured in her book, the one that are recipes from friends. My cousin is called "Bubbles" in the book, and her mom is "Rene", and "Bubbles" is on the cover of that book in the background. I keep hoping that when I'm down there I'll get the opportunity to meet Paula.



I just luv her! If I found a genie in a bottle, I use my one wish to meet her! SHe and I have the same birthday, we were both single moms with 2 kids, we both have a very distinctive laugh, and we love being in the kitchen!

If you get the chance to meet her, give her a big 'ole hug from me!
post #109 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by michellenj

Ohmygoodies-I love Paula Deen, too. She is from where I grew up in GA and is best friends with one of my older cousins. Some of my cousin's recipes and her mother's are featured in her book, the one that are recipes from friends. My cousin is called "Bubbles" in the book, and her mom is "Rene", and "Bubbles" is on the cover of that book in the background. I keep hoping that when I'm down there I'll get the opportunity to meet Paula.



One of my favorite times of seeing Paula Deen was on Oprah. When Oprah asked her about how unhealthy her recipes were for people she said, "Oprah, I'm their cook, not their doctor." Every time I watch her cook, I think, "That much butter and salt can't be good for people." Of course, I cook the same way that Paula does--everything fried and greasy and fattening. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

Diane
Lord, If you can't make me thin, please make my friends fat.
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Lord, If you can't make me thin, please make my friends fat.
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post #110 of 126
Thread Starter 
Hell with that if you ever get the chance to meet her you better call me and invite me too icon_razz.gif

I had to go over to mom and dad's today because dad is having very bad dizzy spells where he can barely walk let alone drive around so he came to get me and we went back there, then I took the kids to school to meet their teachers and stuff and mom was home too... sick! YEAH RIGHT! lol... So anyway right after I get there she asks one of the kids to have me make her a bowl of ice cream omg I was so mad.. I said yeah I bet she does. So she had him ask pop-pop and dad finally said no lmao YAY!!! but I went ahead and made it for her cause if not it would've resulted in a huge fight and screaming match. Before I left to come back home I went up to give her the run down about school and such and asked her if she got my note. She said "yeah" like she was mad... I said "do you still want me to do the cake?" she said "yeah the small one" I said "ok do you have a specific flavor in mind?" she said "yeah do a yellow or butter or vanilla cake cause I'm making brownies so I don't want too much chocolate" so I agreed and forgot all about the cookies. I figured I'd call tomorrow when she's at work and ask her since she can't be bothered to answer the phone today and daddy isn't feeling too good.... BUT GOOD NEWS IS I DIDN'T CAVE!!! icon_biggrin.gif
Happy Cakin! ~*~Becky~*~
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Happy Cakin! ~*~Becky~*~
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post #111 of 126
YAY...WE KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!!!!!!!!
post #112 of 126
Becky,

I have been watching this thread from the beginning. I usually don't jump in on these types of threads, but I just can't help telling you how proud I am of you! You stood up for yourself, and although it sounds like your mother didn't like it the important thing is that she wasn't able to back you down! This is a wonderful step toward a better life for you and for your husband and children! thumbs_up.gif

Julie
Rescue a pug - www.dfwpugs.com
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Rescue a pug - www.dfwpugs.com
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post #113 of 126
She didn't mention the cookies so I'd let it drop. When the time comes you can remind her that she didn't buy the ingredients.

Stick to it girl..........you're doing good. thumbs_up.gifthumbs_up.gif

Diane
Lord, If you can't make me thin, please make my friends fat.
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Lord, If you can't make me thin, please make my friends fat.
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post #114 of 126
Wow.... I got a weeks worth of drama reading this..

As the paddle turns...
The 6 Ps Law states Proper Preparation Prevents Pi$$ Poor Performance.

-Mr. Morganti
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The 6 Ps Law states Proper Preparation Prevents Pi$$ Poor Performance.

-Mr. Morganti
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post #115 of 126
YAY Becky!! thumbs_up.gif
'Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.' - Monet
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'Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.' - Monet
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post #116 of 126
Thread Starter 
hehehehe As the Paddle Turns... I like that! that's cute! lol.

Thank you everyone! It's nice to finally feel loved and stuff lol. It's great to know someone other then my husband and daughter (and daddy and bro) are proud of me for something lol

I'm going to stick to it and just make the small cake unless she brings me the stuff for the cookies I'm not offering them up or anything like that lol.
Happy Cakin! ~*~Becky~*~
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Happy Cakin! ~*~Becky~*~
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post #117 of 126
GO BECKY, your cake and cookies and yourself deserve more respect than that. You have made your first big step in helping her to see her ways, not that it'll prolly do it this time, but you did it respectfully and firmly. Good for you! thumbs_up.gificon_biggrin.gif
post #118 of 126
Go Becky !!! Stay strong !!
post #119 of 126
And so are the days of our lives icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

Becky I am so proud you stood up to your mother and didnt cave it, feels so much better........... doesnt it??? thumbs_up.gif

Who needs to pay $5k in therapy, we have it for free with CC. icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
Yummy Mummy Cakes

1 in a 150 children are diagnosed with Autism

2 of them are mine!
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Yummy Mummy Cakes

1 in a 150 children are diagnosed with Autism

2 of them are mine!
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post #120 of 126
whoooooo becky you go girl!!! I bet you feel a lot better right now without the added stress you felt when you started this thread. Take a second and pat yourself on the back you derserve it. Big hugs
Darlene
"A day without baking is a day without sunshine"
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Darlene
"A day without baking is a day without sunshine"
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