Way to go Jenn! Kids should help out. I had chores and I lived.

Jenn, I am so glad that you asserted your self and things went well.
It sounds like you have a good family that just needed a little gentel guideance. I have 2 kids aged 8 and 5 and they have their weekly chores that they have to do before they can do anything else, after awhile it becomes like 2nd nature. I am very happy and proud for you...Good job

My husband recently pissed me off about the pocket thing. I don't check pockets because I don't normally put stuff in mine, something he complains about when I wash his jackets. I've been telling him for a long time that I only wash them when he asks and he's a big boy so he should check them, if it's not important enough to remove then it isn't important enough not to get wrecked in the washer. He's a mechanic and his uniforms are picked up at work on Thursdays, he ALWAYS cleans the pockets out, but this week he left his motorcycle key in his pants Wednesday night. I got up and packed his uniforms in his backpack and he got out of the shower and couldn't find his key and then had the gall to yell at ME for not checking his pockets as I packed the uniforms. He NEVER leaves money in pockets though mostly I find screws and other small things that go on cars in his.

As far as men exagerating how much work they do don't get me started on how you can multiply the amount of time something should take by how many men are working on it to figure out when they'll be done.

I love your way of thinking. For me it would be a new mixer or a second dryer to keep up with the washing machine,

Jenn,
I just wanted to say that my daughter is 8 and her chores are to load and unload the dishwasher, sweep the floors, clean her room, and clean out the pets cage. Kids need to learn at an early age about responsibility. She does NOT get paid in cash but she has a roof over her head, food in her belly and a place to lay her head at night. If your husband wants you to spend more time with the girls then let the girls help you with the cake buisness. It is very important that mothers teach their girls how to be independent. Let the girls know now that they can have dreams and actually get them accomplished. The girls should be right there with you as you eventually open the doors to your new business. Have them working at your store after school or on the weekends so that the can see the ends and outs of how to run a successful business. As far as your husband goes I hope that when and if you gave him a "to do" list that you included on his for him to do his own laundry. And if you can get your boys to help you deliver some cakes or hire somebody to just help with deliveries. Maybe pay $50 dollars per weekend to help with the lifting of cakes only. I would try at this point to not have my husband involved in ANY part of the cake business. That way he won't have anything to complain about.

My kids do have chores, on Saturday they have to clean thier rooms, the living room and the bathroom. The dining room is part of the kitchen. Everyone has to clean the kitchen after dinner. There are 5 of them yet it still takes like an hour. During the week its a joint effort by everyone to straighten up and take out the trash. My problem with them is that they do not seem to care that there are repercussions for not doing there chores. It is a little bit harder for my boys though and the only reason that I say that is , 9 yrs ago I voluntarily gave up custody of them so that they could go to school. Its a long story but I was homeless , jobless and a mother of two with one on the way. Thier grandmother was kind enough to take them in and give them the consistent roof over their head that I could not provide. It took me 8 years to turn my life around. at 5 yrs I filed for custody and the only reason I didnt get them back is becuase I had a 2bdrm instead of 3. 3yrs later the grandmother stopped fighting and agreed to give custody back to me. In the 8 years that they lived with her she did everything for them. Asked them to do nothing and as they got older when they would ask her if they could do something she would tell them no. So they have been living with me for a yr now and they have learned alot. They actually do thier own laundry, they just wont do anything with the laundry that is already in the machines. Take the trash out and wont put a new bag in the can . The follow through is what is killing me . His 2 girls lived with thier mother up until 3 yrs ago and she didnt exactly believe in cleaning herself much less her house. . SO I am trying to reverse alot of damage. And I think sometimes my expectations are so high because I know what I was capable of at thier age. THis is the part where he says he will help out more in. I already make him wash all of his work clothes. Even has a hamper just for them so I dont end up searching for anything. Somedays I just dont know where to begin. And then I fall into the old way of thinkning that it would just be easier if I did it myself.

JENNSCAKES90909, SORRY SO LONG, THIS HITS HOME TOO

I AM TRULLY SORRY THAT YOU ARE GOING THRU THIS I HOPE AND PRAY THAT THINGS GET BETTER FOR YOU. ITS FUNNY HOW A MOM HEART IS. WE PUT FAMILY FIRST, OUR KIDS OUR DEAR HD BUT WHAT ABOUT US. YOU CAN GO YOUR ENTIRE LIFE LOSSING WHO YOU REALLY ARE YOUR TRUE IDENTIDY AS JENN AND JUST BE DH MOM OR THAT IS THIS KIDS MOM. BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR SELF??? THEN YEARS GO BY AND WHAT EVER HAPPEND TO JEN ? I WISH I COULD OFF DONE THAT OR NOT.

DON'T GO THRU LIFE FEALING THIS WAY. MAN HAVE HALF OF BRAIN AND THAT'S A FACT. SO GIRLFRIEND YOU SHOULD FEEL HURT BECAUSE WHAT HE SAID WAS HURTFUL TOWARDS YOU EVERYTHING YOU DO IS WITH LOVE AND IT'S YOUR CAKES.

GO FORWARD HAVE THIS CONVERSATION AND MAKE SURE THAT THE KIDS ARE NOT AROUND. TRY TO NOT ACT BUT YOU HAVE EVERY REASON TO BE THIS WAY. GET YOUR POINT ACROSS AND MAKE SURE THAT YOU SAY WHAT IS ON YOUR MIND. I HOPE THIS HELPS, AND WHAT EVER YOU DO DON'T GIVE UP YOUR DREAM. IT WILL HAPPEND ONLY IF YOU HAVE PERSEVIRENCE.

GOD BLESS AND GOOD LUCK
MICHELLE

"Reminds me of the story of the man who came home from work and the kids were running around outside in their PJ's; the kitchen was covered with food, peanut butter, cereal and spilled milk; the TV is on full blast; the toilet is stuffed with toilet paper and overflowing; the laundry is piled up next to the washer. He finds the wife in bed reading a magazine. In an astonished voice, he yells, "What the he** is going on!?" Wife say, "You know all that stuff I don't do all day long? Well, today I didnt' do it."

Reminds me of when I went on STRIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Yep.... Strike.

My hubby had 3 and I had 4.So 7 plus us made 9. If I didnt get help, neither did they!! Now they are all grown up and in their own houses and its just us. I cant complain to much. I work outside the house , get home around 6:30 and dinners done. Not much else but the trash. Sometimes I come home to the washers going, but not much else. so from say......7:30 pm til ???? the rest is up to me. And then I hear "Im tired of doing everything" So I explain again.......You come home-4:00 cook diinner and sit in your chair(why do men have to have "Their chairs?") and thats it for you, while I start "my second job" at 7:30 every night and I cant be tired.The weekends are all me. So once in a while I go on Strike. I get support as far as my cake stuff goes,even input. He just helped make flowers for a bridal shower cake. But I too have the attitde"come with or stay behind" I wont give up ME ! too think its a jealous thing. But only as long as they dont have anything scheduled for the day. If thy are busy we can bake all day, it seems not to interfere with their NEEDS. Ok Im done...................... It just braught up alot of old stuff.sorry. but really ....dont loose you. Try to come to some kind of livable compromise.

JENNSCAKES90909,

Since there are so many kids just a word of advice, why don't you get yourself a board and put it in the kitchen you know that type you can write on.

put all the kids name, there chores, and as each kids do them make an x for the kids that have not done them well take something away.

my sister in law did this with 5 kids and lord know it help. if they want something they will have to learn how to be responsible.

Good luck you are on my prayers, and regarless how your life used to be you are how you are know the past is past don't beat your self for that. used that towards your advantage and learn from it. God bless,
Michelle

Sorry you are dealing with this stuff still. I do think he should look really closely.



Spongemom..... maybe someone out there could design a blender big enough? LOL!!

Just an update for all of the supporters out there. DH seems to have pulled his head out of you know where. My kids are helping more now that school has started . We talked again this weekend and I told him flat out this is my dream and I will make it happen with or without you. So you can join me on this or become a bystander. He understood and has been nothing but supportive even asking questions and giving input. I even catch him looking over my shoulder when I am on here and asking questions about the cakes or methods I am looking at. Thank you everyone for being my "fight buddies" (saw that on that new show with the brother from Everybody Loves Raymond last night) thought it was appropriate.

My DH has mellowed out a little with age. He is still not real supportive sometimes. I think that is only because I have had other hairbrained business ideas but they didnt pertain to something that I cherished and that I am good at. He gets aggravated if I work on cakes while he is home. Most of time he goes to bed around nine so I do most of my "cake stuff" after he goes to bed. If I get a cake done by morning he usually compliments it. But I know how you all feel. Been there done that and it's not pretty or fun trying to deal with all the hassles especially when you just want to pursue your dream.