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Wedding cake fell/I can't take any more/Closing bakery - Page 2

post #16 of 42
BTW, after my post, I looked at your photos. I just wanted to note that your work is absolutely beautiful! It's evident you have many excellent ideas and a lot of creativity.
Everything you project adds to the energy of the Universe.
Therefore, strive to make your contribution a positive one.
And I know cake is one huge plus!
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Everything you project adds to the energy of the Universe.
Therefore, strive to make your contribution a positive one.
And I know cake is one huge plus!
Reply
post #17 of 42
{{{{{{{{{{big understanding let it all out hug}}}}}}}}}}}

I have no words to add what others have said before. Pray and pray before you decide to walk away. Your work is beautiful.
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me". Erma Bombeck
~~~
If God is for us, who can be against us?
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me". Erma Bombeck
~~~
If God is for us, who can be against us?
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post #18 of 42
I just wanted to let you know that your post really touched me and it certainly does sound like you are trying to do it all, all at the same time. I read the posts you received before mine and they really seemed like great advice. I don't know when you find time to sleep! It must be impossible to think clearly with your schedule. Hang in there and be true to yourself. Hugs and prayers to you.
post #19 of 42
Do what you think is right hon. I would hate for all your wonderful talent go to waste, hang in there.

Hugs & Prayers to you!
Women are angels, you may clip our wings but we will still fly..on broomsticks..were flexible.
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Women are angels, you may clip our wings but we will still fly..on broomsticks..were flexible.
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post #20 of 42
I feel your pain. I too have been tested but my faith in myself pushes me to go on. Last year I was tested in so many ways I can't even explain. I had people insult my cake. I was scamed by two brides and had to deal with the craziest nut bakery owner on the planet. Oh and I was working on a broken foot (did'nt know it was broken for a year). Between the constant pain in my foot, working 80 hours a week (on my feet) and never seing my toddler son or husband I had a breakdown. I had to go to bed rest for 6 months. I'm sitting in my bed and my son says "go to work mommy" and I keep explaining "no i'm home now". For a whole two months he rejected me being home because I was never there before. That hurt because I thought I was doing this for my son, but really it was for me. I had along time to think about this in bed. I realized my son is number 1 and always will be the most important thing to me. My passion for cake is second and always will be second. So I have changed things in my life. I still make my wedding cakes but not the quanity I used to. I work part time which actually works out (no childcare). I take things one at a time and i'm tougher than I ever was before. No bride will ever upset because i'm giving them my all always. Also i'm human and i'm going to make mistakes but i'm gonna get up after I made that mistake and next time i'm gonna do better because I know better. People who make cakes don't do it only for the money, it's for the love and challenge. We want our customers to be happy with our products, but sometimes that's not possible. Don't walk away from your bakery. Reinvent yourself and your bakery. Find a baker and rent out your bakery when your not there (for extra income). There is a light at the end of tunnel and you have to discover it. Good luck to you no matter what you decide.
post #21 of 42
Awall96

You ARE NOT a failure. You have tried something and it was tougher than you thought...it is not at all a reflection of your character. As a sociologist I explain a phenomenon to my students called the "Looking Glass Self" theory. It goes something like this:
Who we are (our self) arises from our interactions with others. We use society as a mirror (of sorts). In other words... First, we imagine how we appear to others...second..we wonder what they think about us, and finally...we determine how the first two make us feel...sad, embarrassed, happy, failure, etc.

Who we are... is determined by two things...Perception and Effect... how we perceive others think about us and the effect it has on our self esteem.

You see yourself as a failure because that is the perception you have from the most recent encounters you've had with the bakery customers...this in turn has effected your self-worth.

My point...this occurs even when we are wrong!!!! Others most likely see you as a success...you have your own business....a loving and supportive family...etc...however, you can only see things from the perception you have imagined...and it has effected your self-esteem.

You have had some extremely tough times recently and you have every right to feel bad about what has occurred. However, don't give up on the bakery until you are completely certain that is what you want.

My thoughts are with you through your struggle to find the right answer...but don't see yourself as a failure...you are the person who chased her dream....
post #22 of 42
Sending positive thoughts, prayers and love your way.
post #23 of 42
I've had many a disaster. My biggest one was a wedding cake that the bride paid $900.00 for. My biggest commision ever. It was4 tier stacked construction,with a big fondant bow around it. I was used to delivering tiers separatly. But because of the bow it had to be pre stacked. Did the center dowel and every thing but didnt have a big enough car or truck for delivery. Well I tried to put it in the back seat securely but guess what , I tripped. 3 layers were smashed including of course the bow. We were on time before that. Had a friend bake two more layers and deliver to the venue where I quickley iced and tried to restack. It didnt look like it was supposed to but it looked O.K. We explanned that we had a car accident. The brides sister called once but didnt make a huge stink,thank god. Bottom line was they had a decent looking cake that was big enough for all thier guests and I didnt have to pay any thing back. After all that writing, I just need to say that I am always learning and I learn somthing new with every cake. I've said I aws going to quit a million times. I do'nt blame you at all. Do what you gotta do. Sometimes, it's all about you sanity.
I love a challange
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I love a challange
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post #24 of 42
I can't stop thinking about you. Mostly because I have been there and in many ways I am still there. My gut tells me that you are not ready to give up your shop but NO ONE can make that call for you.

I think we all have those days, weeks, months, years. I made a cake this weekend that was a last minute order. I took it because it was for a family gathering and promised to be an opportunity for future orders. there was nothing aobut this cake that went right. I baked this cake three times.

The first time I completely forgot to put salt in the cake (amazing what a big difference that could make) I decided to make it again and a good thing because I dropped a layer. The second time the center of the cake stuck because I forgot to use parchment rounds, and the third time I threw out one of the layers because I thought it was one of the layers from the first batch. I have baked under pressure before but for some reason I just couldn't get it together. My three year old was running around the house. His father refused to get up and keep him busy so that I could concentrate and finish and we had to hurry up because we had to help gradma move. I can't tell you how full my day was and yet I took on the last minute cake order anyway.

Unfortunately, I didn't let the cake settle. I applied a crumb and frosted coat and let it sit for less than thirty minutes in te frig before taking it to grandmas house and putting it in the frig. Five hours later when it was time for it to be delivered . . . you guesed it the damn cake had shifted and the top tier was slidding off. When you described sitting in a corner and crying I physically felt your pain because I have been there. I felt like such a complete failure. All I had to do was make on 8" carrot cake with cream cheese frosting and simple decorations. I kept thinking if I can't do that then how on earth do I ever expect to do anything else. I was mortified. In that moment I thought aobut giving up completely but I stopped feeling like a failure when I read your post.

Your post made me realize that I was being too hard on myself and perhaps expecting tooo much of myself because I could see me in you. I wanted to say to you "don't beat yourself up it happens" I wanted to offer you words of encouragement that I never have for myself.

After reading your post I decided to think about words of encouragement for myself. and I thought just because I can do something doesn't mean that I CAN do something and concluded that I should have declined the cake order but as women we try hard to do it all and no one is harder on themselves when it somehow doesn't work out. Maybe if you slow down a little . . . I don't know.

What I do know for sure is that you need to make the decision that brings you the most joy. Be brave and bold in you decision making and above all else be kind to yourself.

Best of Luck
post #25 of 42
I don't normally visit this section but I saw this post on the front page & was concerned. There is no advice I can offer that has been different from what others have said. But I do wish that you find the peace of mind you need to either close your business or continue on your journey of being a business owner. Hopefully the past few weeks were just a funk that will pass soon. Super Big Hugs to you!
Oh, Bother!
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Oh, Bother!
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post #26 of 42
Just remember in all of this that "God Loves You".

I have a favorite passage that says, "All things work together for the good of those who love God."
I firmly believe and you should too.

Keep your head up. God Bless.
I dream in Cake!!!
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I dream in Cake!!!
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post #27 of 42
After reading this thread, only us bakers knows what struggle we go thru to decorate and creative that perfect cake. I am inspired by this thread and want to encourage you by saying fear can torment you mind and cripple your thinking. Stay focus, reevaluate your life and press forward.
post #28 of 42
Hugs to you!!!

It sounds like you have been juggling so many things!

I don't know exactly what you are going through as I am not a bakery owner, but it sounds like these final events was the 'straw that broke the camels back'. Maybe these things have actually pushed you into making a decision, that you knew you would have to face sometime??

Prioritise what's important to you (and high on that list should be you!), and then make decisions which is right for you at this time. Whatever your decision is about whether to continue with the bakery or not, just keep in mind that you have learnt from this, and have grown as a human being!

Let us know what you finally decide to do as we're all feeling for you!
post #29 of 42
awall96 to me you are brave i have been toying with the idea of my own shop for two years but have been to chicken to do it, you went out and put everything on the line, don't give up just yet. we wake with the prospect of better days icon_smile.gif
post #30 of 42
I just saw your photos and I must say, YOU HAVE TALENT!
There will always be customers that you just cannot please.

But I just wanted to let you know, you definitely have talent icon_smile.gif
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