Here's where I need your help! I got a call from a friend needing a cake. The cake is for a newly single mom who just had premie twins. Both baby girls weighed in at about a pound. One of them only has a 15% chance. The mom is home with out the babies. Here favoroite snack is twinkies. The order was for a twinkie cake or she left it up to me. Problem is do we ignore the baby subject and go with a ha ha cake or incorperate the new arrivals????

I am having such issues with this. What is right and what is wrong in this situation. The mom is very optimistic and is convinced everything will be ok (bless her heart) Just don't know what is right????

Thankyou for ANY input . Lisa

If you know how to do a Twinkie cake, I would do either a double Twinkie or single, but ABSOLUTELY do for both babies in some way! That baby is in God's hands to decide, ours is to hold on while we can! Keep that moms faith up! Good luck!

If the Mom just had her babies, you really can't ignore the subject. That is all that matters to her right now. In my opinion, you need to acknowledge the twins somehow.

I'm generally a fun-loving kind of person and manage to find humor in most any circumstance. After all, "laughter does good like a medicine" ~Proverbs.

That being said, obviously this situation calls for tact and sensitivity. If it were me in mom's situation, I would appreciate a bit of levity, but probably nothing too "over the top" hilarious. After all, this is a very serious situation, but a bit of laughter can relieve tension and stress.

Personally, I would say yes incorporate her babies. I mean she had them they are living right now and very much a part of her life now. God willing they make it, they are already here and alive so celebrate it will keep her encouraged and hopeful.

Of course you want to incorporate the babies! She just went through nine months of pregnancy and birth of two - regardless of what happens next, recognize the birth! It is a momentous occasion!!

Oh Lisa, what a situation! First of all my prayers go out to that family. It sounds like this cake is for the mom so I would make the cake and use something for pampering of the new mom.
LouAnn

Wait....who ordered the cake, and what did they ask for? When I read your post, it just sounded like somebody wanted to order a cake for this mom, and they wanted it to be her favorite snack to cheer her up.

I personally would not think the babies should be involved unless the customer asked for it that way...or if you personally know the mother and are her friend and you know she would like that. If you don't know the mother personally, I would stick to what was ordered with no surprises.

The order was from a close friend of mine who is very torn on what to do. The flavor of the cake needs to be twinkie. She basically is asking for my help on what to do for her friend. No style or order has been etched in stone. We are both trying to figure out what is tasteful in this situation.

The whole twinkie (ha ha) thing was something I had thrown out to her. I just want to do the right thing and guide her in the right direction.

I would probably go with a pretty cake, maybe some flowers, maybe pink and just write both of the girls' names on it. I would maybe save the twinkie thing or 'ha ha' cake for later, when the girls are hopefully out of the woods (hopefully) later.

When my first son was born ( a few hours later) the pediatrician came running in telling me there was "something" wrong with my baby. His heart rate was very low (60) and he was in shock. The rushed him to another bigger hospital. I left the same day to go to the other hospital, but what I remember was some of the nurses coming in and saying "congratulations" It felt weird, like their wasnt anything to "congratulate" me about. To make a long story short, my son was just fine and I can see now that saying "congratulations" wasnt at all inappropriate, but I just dont know if humor would be the route to go right away.

IMO since this mom is convinced that everything will be alright, then I would incorporate the twins in on the cake.

Lil

Thank you so much everyone. I definetly need to figure this all out by today. I want to be very optimistic but would absolutely feel aweful if something had happened and the cake was waiting for her. I guess that's my biggest fear. I will call for an update on babies before delivering the cake. That sounds like the best option so far.

Could you make a cake with flowers, etc on it. Make a topper incorporating the babies leaving it in a box. Check to see before you leave, and then perhaps let the friend decide whether or not to put the topper on?
THAT way, if something happened at the last minute, it could be left off and she need never know that it was there...

just a thought not mentioning the babies can be as painful as going overboard too I think - at least from my experience with my sister . still i cant think of the perfect idea this is indeed tough - good luck to you and that poor woman who is on her own- sounds like she has some friends to support her >

Is this a shower cake?

I agree, I too had problems with my son when he was born and that was the last thing that I needed was for someone to say congratulations. I would do as the other posters have stated and make it upbeat---pink, of course, with lots of flowers, maybe just pink and white and put "Thinking of You" or something like that to know that she isn't forgotten. I hope that helps and everything works out for their family.

well here is the update: one baby doing really badly. Doctors are asking her to basically pull her off the breathing machine. She has no chance at walking eating ect. My friend decided on the twinkie box. It's breaks my heart what this mother must be going through. I just know I will be holding my own child real tightly tonight. Wish I could do more than a cake!

Maybe you could somehow incorporate angels onto the cake. And maybe a prayer. I know from experience that family and friends really can help in situations like these. It helps just to know that people are praying for you and your children. No one can change the outcome of whatever lies ahead for us, all we can do is pray that everything will be ok. And i personally think that if you try to avoid the twins, she might think the worst and loose faith that everything will be ok. I have twins myself and i don't know what i would do if i ever lost one or both of them.

All I can think of is just make it taste wonderful. I'm sorry, but I'm really bad at these situations.

Oh my, this is so sad! I had to reply! I would ask the friend if the cake is really appropriate now that the mom is dealing with this critical decison. I went through this with my cousin who's baby was born at 26 weeks. We are extrememly close and we share everything. Well, that baby died and when she finally got pregnant again, her second baby was born at exactly the same gestational age. That baby survived, but nobody was thinking about celebration. We were so devastated, thinking about the baby that didn't survive and the one who was hanging on by a thread. All we could do is pray. Does your friend think the cake will really be helpful? If so, just do what she asks. Teagan is now one and a half and we are so thankful he survived. I pray the babies are ok and I also pray for the two of you trying to decide what to do.

You CAN do more than cake.
You have already done so.
You have a group of Ladies and Gents here who have this woman and her family in their hearts...

As a mom who had to leave her preemie in the hospital while I went home, I wouldn't have wanted a cake with babies or anything like that one it. Do something pretty and leave it at that. She is now dealing with a heart wrenching decision and the last thing I would have wanted was to see an angel on a cake for me. To me, it's like saying the baby is already gone. There is no cheering her up right now. This isn't a shower cake it's aa gift to say I love you and I'm here for you, I brought you something I know you like. So you really aren't avoiding the baby issue. The hardest thing I ever had to do was leave my son and go home without him and he was not critically ill like these two little ones are. Just my 2c as a mom of a preemie (thank goodness not a micro preemie).

My heart and thoughts go out to her and the babies.

personally, I'd ditch the cake completely...

just get several boxes of real twinkies (staying totally in her "comfort zone" w/ the real deal), slap on a bow (ok ribbon too if you insist) then high-tail it over to her and just comfort her, pray w/ her, hold her, cry w/ her.

Doug I agree, agree, agree at this point.

Dodibug.....Thanks so much for the input. I absolutely see your point and I also am so sorry you had to go through that!

I spoke with my friend and she is stuck on a funny pun cake. I never would've thought a cake would be so difficult.

SORRY, the thought of angels watching over my children comforts me when they are ill or hurt, but i can see your point. Scratch the idea of an angel and prayer.

Oh, no need to be sorry! I wasn't trying to slam the angel idea it's just that you have the worst thoughts and fears going thru your head (and like I said mine wasn't anywhere near as sick as these two little ones) and any little thing can be upsetting. Spotty you'll be able to make it work. I know you will.

Boy, what a sad situation, I will keep them in my prayers. On to the dilemma. While your friend would like to do something for her friend, I personally don't think a cake of any kind would be appropriate at this point in time. If I were the mother of these two little ones, eating would be the last thing on my mind especially eating cake! I would think there would be some other way of letting the mother know you care then giving her a cake. Just my opinion.

I will keep the family in my prayers.

~luraleigh~

My son weighed in at a pound and a cake would have been a nice treat away from all the hospital junk.

As for mentioning the babies--it is personal, but I loved every baby mention I had.

These babies are real, living people and their lives deserve to be celebrated. She is a great mom who is probably sacrificing a lot of her life to be with the babies.

My prayers to her from one preemie mom to another.