Sad And Long But I Need Advice Fellow Ccers.
Decorating By 2sdae Updated 24 Aug 2007 , 7:20pm by keriskreations
I was asked to do a birthday cake for a little girl for july. Well to make a long story short it was to celebrate her being cancer free. She had childhood leukemia and was in remission. Well then she got sick 3 weeks before event, cake was postponed. So she recovered and it was re planned for aug. Then I get the phone call last night 1 1/2 weeks before due date little girl has passed in her sleep friday night. 
My heart is just broken. She wanted this so bad, her Mom and Grandma wanted this for her even more. Now little angel is with her angels. Her grandma has asked me to make this cake anyway for the family gathering after the funeral. They want her to have her cake anyway and to see it after the funeral will help them see she's still with us. <per Grandmas thinking>
I AM A WRECK! I wanted so bad to do this but now the pressure is on and my heart is just wrenched.
I dont know if I can go to this funeral and see her and then present a cake that was her dream ya know?
I guess what I am asking is do I tone it down or I just dont know. The design was a carebears one. A couple of cakes with clouds, rainbows, bears you know. Any help or opinions are much appreciated here.
It will be difficult, but I would go all out. Maybe somehow you can also incorporate a little something on the cake since you will be doing clouds, maybe a star shooting up or something.
Good luck, it will be hard to deliver but stay strong and I think it will be a very powerful gesture.
oh my...i'm in tears as i'm reading this. this will probably be the most difficult cake you will ever make. my heart goes out to you and her family. i would still do the original design but maybe ask the family if it would be ok to have a little girl made out of gumpaste with wings sitting on the edge looking down with a big smile on her face with the carebears gathered around her. i don't know if that would be appropriate or not but i think it would be a nice sentiment to know that she's looking over her family from the clouds.
again my heart and prayers are with you and her family...god bless.
Boy, what a heart wrencher!!!
I would do the cake just like you were going to if that is what the family wants you to do. You just never know why people do the things that they do during a time like this. This may be what gives them that peace that they are looking for now.
Know that I am praying for you and this family.
Lu
That is soo incredibly sad. I think that your original cake, will be emotional enough. Although the ideas of the additions are lovely, I think this cake will already be hard enough for the family to take. I would stick with what you had planned. No message, no additions. Unless you discuss it beforehand.
You are really wonderful for going ahead with the cake. My thoughts are with you and that little girl's family.
WOW... I truly think the Carebears in clouds and with rainbows is a perfect cake for a little girls birthday or funeral. What better way to symbolize heaven and hope than with clouds and rainbows? I'd pick a Carebear who's tummy symbol bespeaks of her being cared for in heaven by God and his angels.... maybe Tenderheart? Good Luck... I'm sure you'll do this with grace and compassion.
I have professional experience with this. As a clinicial social worker, I have had the privilege of working in pediatric hospitals for the past 25 years and have worked with over 400 families whose children have died. They need[/b] people like you, they really do. They want to give their little girl exactly what she wanted, no matter where she is, so please consider doing the cake exactly as she requested or as it was ordered. Believe me when I tell you that you are not "reminding" them of their child's death; it's all too real and painful for them. What families are most afraid of is that people won't remember their child. So while others are not mentioning the child, not acknowledging the funny, smart, incredibly cute things the child did, families are in even deeper grief because it seems their child has been forgotten and not touched the lives of others. They want their child's name mentioned, they want people to call them on the child's birthday to say they're being thought of and to send cards or acknowledgements on special days or holidays. I know it's hard...they will not be judging your cake, they'll love it and will be very happy you granted their daughter's wish. It feels overwhelming...think of it as bringing some joy to their painful world. Best to you, please pm me if you have questions.
A woman who works for me is doing something similar. Her sister (40's) passed away last week after battling cancer. The funeral was last Monday. Her family got together this past Sat because it was her sister's birthday and they are all getting together on her birthday "anyway" to celebrate her life.
The Lord needed another angel and He picked her....... I think the angel on the cake is a wonderful idea..... Thoughts and prayers are winging their way as I type.......
my sentiments exactly. As tough as this will be, you need to do this cake for the family.
I could not AGREE with Susan better, best of luck and prayers to the family
My prayers are w/you, that you can make it through this rough time trying to make the cake. My prayers are also w/the family of the little girl. I hope all goes well for you.
My prayers are w/you, that you can make it through this rough time trying to make the cake. My prayers are also w/the family of the little girl. I hope all goes well for you.
I too would do the cake and do it just as the little girl's family requested. It is so sad that she had such a short life but she is now no longer in pain and she is in a better place then us now. I am sure she is running and dancing w/ the angels in heaven. Her family will see her again one day! Good luck with the cake. I know you will do her justice.
My prayers are w/you, that you can make it through this rough time trying to make the cake. My prayers are also w/the family of the little girl. I hope all goes well for you.
Well, between 2sdae's post and Susan123's post, this is the first time I've ever cried at Cake Central.
How horrible. I would be an emotional wreck over this cake too. My thoughts and prayers are with the family as well as you, 2sdae.
The Carebears theme seems very fitting for this event. The sweetness, softness, and loviness (if that's a word) of the bears along with the clouds and rainbows symbolizing God's promises to us and hope and eternal life...it's very fitting indeed.
I am so very sorry for that poor family and for you. God will give you the strength to do this for the family. This precious child will be sitting on God's knee watching from heaven and will have a great big smile on her face because you made her a special cake. God bless............
i would say make the cake just as requested. i believe God chose you to do this very special cake for her. He knows the depth of the love and compassion you carry in your heart for others. He has ordered your steps, now walk in them. God will see you through.
oh my prayers are with you as you do this cake,I would not want to be in this situation.the little girl wanted it so bad, I say do it the way you had planned,she will be looking down from heaven.I also agree with the other members to leave the message off.
How terribly sad.
I would say do the cake as requested. The family have asked for this, and will probably be part of their grieving. It sounds like it is something that is very much needed by them. Also, when they look back at this time, your cake will be part of the fond memories that they will share.
I am sure you will doing a great job on the cake, and they will all be grateful that you did it.
i would say make the cake just as requested. i believe God chose you to do this very special cake for her. He knows the depth of the love and compassion you carry in your heart for others. He has ordered your steps, now walk in them. God will see you through.
First of all, my very deepest sympathy to you and the family of this little girl. My prayers are with you.
I agree with funtomake totally. You might be surprised to find that making this cake brings closure for you. With all these prayers from your fellow CCers, you can do it.
Diane 
my mother passed away from cancer two years this oct.
It was sudden, just two days before she was doing well considering things.
So as a family member I agree with the rest.
Sometimes the family just needs to do the things that were planned so that the person that is now watching over can see that we wanted to do everything we could for them and know that they can still see us and are in our hearts.
I have professional experience with this. As a clinicial social worker, I have had the privilege of working in pediatric hospitals for the past 25 years and have worked with over 400 families whose children have died. They need[/b] people like you, they really do. They want to give their little girl exactly what she wanted, no matter where she is, so please consider doing the cake exactly as she requested or as it was ordered. Believe me when I tell you that you are not "reminding" them of their child's death; it's all too real and painful for them. What families are most afraid of is that people won't remember their child. So while others are not mentioning the child, not acknowledging the funny, smart, incredibly cute things the child did, families are in even deeper grief because it seems their child has been forgotten and not touched the lives of others. They want their child's name mentioned, they want people to call them on the child's birthday to say they're being thought of and to send cards or acknowledgements on special days or holidays. I know it's hard...they will not be judging your cake, they'll love it and will be very happy you granted their daughter's wish. It feels overwhelming...think of it as bringing some joy to their painful world. Best to you, please pm me if you have questions.
this couldnt be more true.....I have lost a child at 7 weeks old...it was several years ago ....but it still hurts that NO ONE in my family talks about her....acknowledges her birthday and change their facial expressions or converesation if I bring her up. I try very hard to understand its hard for them because they dont know what to say or how to react....but it is very heartbreaking as her mother....sometimes it seems Im the only one who remembers her. I get very emotional during the months from her birthday to the time she passed away.....and until I read susan's words about the fear of forgetting...I didnt realize why.
So I agree definietly do this for the family....do this for the little girl. It would actually be harder for them not to fulfill what she wanted and was looking SO forward to ....then to see a birthday cake.
Crying for you all as I read this.......I would do the cake just as it was planned....I know what's it like to lose a child.......my dh and I lost one that we did not know we were going to have....and to this day, almost 16 years later......it still hurts so bad. Let her smiling face shine down when she sees your masterpiece...God will smile too......that's why there are angels to help us in our times of need......
Blessings to you.....and her precious family. 
DEFINITELY do the cake....my nephew passed away at the age of 16 months from a rare disease and it has been hard to explain to my girls. But, my 3 year old really thinks that Care Bears live up in the sky with her cousin. I know it will be difficult for you, but for the family it may just bring about some peace and happy memories of their daughter. My heart goes to you and your client's family. My thoughts are with you.
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