No, I wouldn't have given a refund. As someone already said, you purchase supplies, invest time, and book a certain amount of time for each wedding cake. If you knew it was only to be a four tier cake, that might have allowed you to schedule a smaller order, because you would have had time to handle it.

Besides, you already made it clear that they wouldn't need that much cake. They opted to go against your professional advice and order more. Forgive the analogy, but I just bought a cell phone so it's on my mind. If I don't use all my minutes in a month, I can't call the company and say, "you know I could really use the extra money this month, since I only used half my minutes could I have a refund?" I have a contract. I pay the required amount whether I use it or not.

This isn't about being "nice" this is about being in business. You can be very courteous as you explain that they must abide by the contract. The contract is there to protect you, but you have to use it. It can be very difficult when the bride/customer is a friend (or relative) but the fact is you aren't a charity, you are a business. And, yes, I think she played you. Yes, a person's attitude can change when they are relieved, but to stop crying immediately...sounds like crocodile tears to me!

Kathi

I think I would have had them decorate the cookies to, and just bought them as planned. I probably would have just put them in the freezer for when I needed a treat.

My sister cancelled at the last minute a long long time ago. No one refunded anything to her and my parents. Then she went to pre marriage counseling and the wedding was back on. My parents are like, good luck with the new wedding. We already paid for one.

As for being a Christian, I do not believe that God would have you be walked on. I personally believe that this lesson was for the bride and groom, and it was a financial lesson. I DID give her a refund, and I met her in the middle. I did what I believe God would have wanted me to do. I also have a family to support and a business to run. God does not want us to be foolish and unwise. Proverbs is full of that. Also, remember the story of the two sons who were given money, and the one was unwise and burned through it, and the other was wise and was blessed.

I was kind to her, polite to her, and met her in the middle, which is why I gave her 70 back. If I were not Christian, then she would have gotten nothing back. I DID have a contract.

I am not trying to make any enemies on here, but I put my vent on so that I could receive some moral support from people who know what I am talking about. I see a lot of posts that are positive and happy, as well as upset. Unfortunately, life is not always happy, and this community is here to offer support. You have a choice. If you don't want to lift someone up when they are down, dont' read those posts. I know I read them, and then respond because maybe I have been there and can offer some advise, or even just a hug. What an awful world we would live in if no one helped each other up.

And now I will step off of my soap box.

Well said!

AMEN, Marci!!!!

I don't know how many post I've read lately and thought the exact same thing!

Amen and a half. Christian does NOT equal doormat, and I really think God would have been okay with you honoring the contract if that's what you had felt you should do. It's not as though you were asking her to pay for something you weren't going to give her - THAT would be wrong - but requiring her to honor her commitment is entirely appropriate and in NO WAY un-Christian. And it's not as though getting a cake that big was your idea or you were trying to up-sell her or anything else. She made a written promise and later asked you to allow her to break it.

That said, you did a good thing, and whether or not you got taken, you can rest assured that you did your absolute best to be reasonable and flexible and hope she learns to be more responsible in the future.

Now can I have $70, too?

I have to say something on this....

Alot of us on CC are doing this to MAKE money, weather it be a full blown business, or just something on the side to make ends meet, or to help fund that christmas fund

If we all back down and do the "christian" thing and give back the money because someone starts crying about real world things such as the light bill or the rent or the mortgage... then we wouldn't be making our own bills... would we?

I got into decorating to save money and heartbreak when my daughter saw a destroyed cake on her 6th birthday and cried all the way home because they spelled her name wrong and screwed it up so bad that you couldn't tell what deco's were supposed to be on it. Now that I've gotten a little bit better I've started offering for sale to friends and family and anyone who will purchase. When I do have an order it does help with the bills and one day I do hope to have customers booming in and out and money coming in that it does make a difference in our life, covering the bills and what not. But for those that say just let her have all her money back or whatever was said about the money I don't feel like going back to read to be exact... just because you would do that doesn't mean everyone would do that. And I'm sorry I have to say I bet if you were presented with this very situation and went thru all this woman has gone thru with this Bride and Groom.... you wouldn't have given her one cent back or maybe just the $70.00 as this lady did.

Who cares where the money came from - I agree... it doesn't really matter. Grandma gave it they can do what they want with it... it's no one's business but grand ma and grand kid.... but I do agree if she was given the money solely for the cake/wedding needs, then she's being sneaky, underhanded, and lying to her dear grand ma.

But I think this lady (OP) did more then she needed to do, by giving back the $70.00 I would've told her it's too late to make any changes and if she'd like she can take all but the non-refundable deposit back per the contract and find another decorator, or she can continue with what was planned.

JUST MY OPINION.

Marcimang,

This site is made up of bakers from all ends of the spectrum. Some are professonals, some are newbies. Some make a lot of money, many don't. It seems that you fall into the category of those who do it for the pure joy. No problem with that. Do you give away everything that you make? Do you ever charge for it? If yo do, there's nothing wrong with that. Lots of us got into this because it's a fun way to make a little (in my case VERY LITTLE) money on the side. So it makes sense that you'll find plenty of posts regarding how to increase profits, etc. I think the whole matter was handled very professionally. The two parties agreed to a contract up front. One party wanted to renege, the other wouldn't let her do it. Just like any other business out there would have handled it. The bride was lucky she got anything back. Most businesses don't handle their customers in a "Christian" way.

Mickig

I have a no refund policy that Im not ashamed of and that I make very clear to my clients at our first meeting. At 8 weeks out 50% is due, at 4 weeks 85% is due, 7 days out your full balance is due. If they want to change counts 5 days out its too bad even it is to up on the number. Their options are to get the cake they ordered and have a
"Happy Un-Birthday Party" or I will give you what Ive done up to now. My point is no cash refunds. Im sorry if that sound mean but thats just the way Ive had to reconstruct my business practices.

For 25 years cake decorating was a hobby. And I absolutely love love love it. Those were my "OH WELL...OK" years. But for the past 7 years this has been my livelihood. In the past I have spent weeks making gumpaste fllowers and drawing up plans for "really different and original sculpted cakes" to have clients cancel on me or reduce their numbers. Forget the cost of supplies...What about my time? Three years ago I had a bride order a cake for 300 guests and then on the night before the wedding she left Detroit and moved to Georgia!!! I had talked to her that morning while she was getting her nails done and she was going to come by to see her cake and pay the balance after the rehesal. She never made it to the rehersal. Her coordinator left me a voice mail. I ended up donating the cake to the Salvation Army Mothers Day Brunch. (Im a good Christian too) So I created a contract.

marcimang I dont think you are a doormat. Maybe your heart bleeds a little. So does mine sometimes. But bleeding heart an all I dont believe God wants us to allow ourselves to be doormats.

I must say I got a great laugh about the non-cash "refund" of the unfrosted cakes, 50lbs of frosting, and cookies...that was priceless

Personally I don't believe you should have felt obligated to refund any money - and being a Christian myself, I'm also aware of the verse in the Bible that says "...the laborer is worthy of his reward..." I think that perhaps in the future, you may want to create a contract w/ big bold NO CASH refunds - for this particular instance, I would have given a $70 credit for future services.

I think for the bride...your original suggestion to have a smaller cake was going through her mind when she was asking for the refund (kinda like eating humble pie!). When you do arrange to refund the money - I suggest you do so in person, and let her know that in the interest of preserving her business (and any referrals that may come from her) you are providing a one time exception and that in the future no cash refunds will be given.

I think the problems occur b/c some brides have "champagne tastes on a beer budget" - Maybe I'm conceited, but I was not a bridezilla, I didn't "assume" to know more than the cake decorator. I simply said, I would like my cake to look like this, have these features, etc., and just let me know the cost. Didn't have any problems whatsoever.

In the perfect world you could add a fee for people who "argue" or a fee for "rudeness" etc., If only...

I am a born again Christian and have no guilt feelings about being a good business woman as well.

In Proverbs it talks about the virtuous woman: "10: Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. 11: The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12: She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13: She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 14: She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15: She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household and a portion to her maidens. 16: She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 17: She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18: She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19: She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20: She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21: She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22: She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23: Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 24: She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25: Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26: She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27: She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28: Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

I work hard, and deal fair. I have plenty of opportunities to let my light shine Last week I was at the grocery store, and before leaving looked over my receipt and noticed I had not been charged for an item. I went back to the cashier and pointed out the mistake. After he regained his composure from the shock of my honesty, he thanked me and I had the opportunity to share God's love with him.

God gives you plenty of opportunities to share His love. The only thing that being a doormat and wimping out on a business agreement does is make you look weak -- no one respects weak. I represent my Lord and Savior and he certainly is not weak

Stick with the letter of the contract, show compassion if you like. But don't ever throw my Christianity in my face for a reason to take honestly earned money out of my familys pockets.

Kansaslaura - well said, well said, well said!!!!!

I too love those oppurtunities to share, I've been known to drive back to a store to make things right -and I suppose it surprises many store clerks...and it's nice when you hear "Thank you for being honest..." gives a great chance to say, "well I'm a Christian it's the right thing to do, etc.,"

I don't really think this is the place to get on people about their Christianity. The original poster certainly wasn't obligated to give money back, or change anything at all, but she did something nice for the bride, and she did still make money off of the cake. I think what she did was perfect and I think some of you are being a little harsh on the other people here. It doesn't really hurt to go out of our way every now and then for someone else, whether your in this business to make money or not. If giving the money back meant that the decorator couldn't pay her own bills, I'd have said 'tough luck' to the bride. My family comes before everyone else. But it doesn't seem that way and I think when you do kind things for other people, God will reward that.

...one more comment on this issue from me. Let's "pretend" you're working at a bakery. Your boss took a cake for a certain date, contract was signed. The bride calls with the same story this thread started with.

Being kind, considerate and loving, your boss say, "Ok, I understand, stuff happens. Don't worry about it, you can have XX number of dollars back." Now, since your boss is in business, she comes to you, who was hired for wedding cakes. She cuts your hours because the bride cuts the cake. She also cuts a few more of your hours because dang it all, she's gotta absorb the cost of those supplies.

It's not about nice or mean. It's a contract. If you don't mean what the contract says, why make one in the first place? Wondering what a customer would say if we decided after the price of milk, butter and eggs, (etc) have jumped that we were gonna raise the price cause gosh darn I have bills to pay....I know the contract doesn't give wiggle room for inflation, but please customer, be nice!!

I'm done!

About the contract suggestion- I LOVE the "highlight and initial" idea. That is a wonderful idea. If it is good enough for leasing companies for homes and apartments, it is good enough for the cake industry.

I've tried to stay out of the remainder of this post (I did post before all the religious stuff came up) because I'm very uncomfortable with the whole "act like a christian" thing, but I feel like I need to make a couple of points.

First of all, I agree with kansaslaura and others about the contract. What she says here sums it up perfectly:

Second, you don't have to be a christian to be nice, to be honest, or to feel sorry for someone and refund their money. Comments like "if I wasn't a christian I wouldn't have refunded any money" are offensive to those of us who aren't christians, and honestly, you don't even know if they are true. You can't divorce yourself from your beliefs and think like a non-christian, so you really don't know what you would do if you weren't one. As for offending those of us who aren't christian, it comes off (whether true or not) as though you expect non-christians to be dishonest, money grubbing, selfish people. Sure some people (even some christians) are this way, but certainly not all of us are.

As for the orginal point of this thread. No, I wouldn't have refunded the money. She made a choice despite being advised against it. However, if it makes the original poster feel good that she refunded the money, and she doesn't need the money, then great, that is her decision.

Kathi

P.S. Please respect my views and do NOT send me any private emails attempting to evangelize me. I have no interest in being converted or debating the merits of your belief system.

Oh gosh how dramatic. I think you acted in a caring manner, and it sucks you were taken advantage of. Jeez. You know you want to be nice to people and compassionate, and then a phony plays you for a fool. All I can say is, most people are genuine, so keep being nice. Of course, it is a business and I think the first discount was sufficient. I'm sorry this happened to you.