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is it bad etiquite? i'm confused! - Page 3

post #31 of 273
The only thing I can say is never ever send a photo beforehand....of anything. haha. Unless its a photo of a sketch to be approved! I just did a cake recently and the guy was talking about delivery/pickup and he asked if I got some photos and I said "Yes but it looks so much better in person...." so thus hinted that I wasn't sending any. haha.
post #32 of 273
Melysa, you did nothing wrong, some people are way too sensitive in stressed situations.
Some people can handle it others cannot.
What are you to do!

I say ask her if she wants the cakes at all.
There is no way that you would be the ONE and ONLY reason that she want to cancel the WHOLE wedding, maybe the MOB of MOG have been mixing it up or maybe the GROOM did something and you were the first target she found or that she was willing to shoot at!

Dont feel bad, I would call her and say that you are sad she has reacted in such a negative way to the confirmation that the cake combination she chose was a winner. Too bad (suggest the spinach cake... LOL)
Do not apologize as you did nothing wrong.
Confirm that she wants the cakes and explain to her that you have invested quite a bit and if she cancels she has to pay for the investment you cannot recoop. From there it's up to her but if she chooses to keep you on.

I would continue to say that you are sad she is having such a hard time, and that you did some research on cake combo's and that many of your cake decorator "collegues" have said they made the same combo's so it's not unique and therefore she should not be upset with you trying it out for yourself before hand - making sure your recipe was a winner. (you did not want to try out the cake on her wedding day - she might appreciate not beign a ginny pig).
People might not remember the b-day cake. And If they do, they will be happy to be having it again since it was so good.

Good Luck all the best with Bridezilla!
Practice Practice Practice.
Life is short, enjoy what you do!
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Practice Practice Practice.
Life is short, enjoy what you do!
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post #33 of 273
I think you should write to her and let her know that if she IS planning on cancelling the wedding you need to know so you can have the date open for other prospective brides... I bet that will get her to change her tune...
post #34 of 273
Thread Starter 
well folks, if its one thing i've learned from cc is to be firm! i refuse to play games. i emailed her with my last response. so i loose out on $900...big whoop. its not worth the headache.


this was the converstation (via emails) from beginning to end today:

me: i forgot to tell you that i did amaretto cake with espresso imbc and man ! was it GOOD! your wedding cake is going to taste AWESOME !!! woo hoo!

her: what did you do that for?

me: teresa's 50th (photos included)

her: oh. ok. i didn't realize you'd be using that cake.

me: hi ------ i hope that didnt offend you, i just thought you'd be happy to hear that it turned out great. i dont want you to feel that i did it that way to take away from your wedding day and all the little details that make it special for you and your guests. i bake all the time, and when i find a great recipe, i use it. i wanted to try the combination out together since we had done the tasting cake differently, but never considered that it would be a problem. if i did hurt your feelings, i apologize. truce?

her: to be perfectly honest, i've been crying pretty bad since you told me. i'll admit that i can be incredibly spoiled at times. i strive very very hard to be different and special. i broke down and told **fiance** that i'm considering calling off the wedding all together because one by one i keep losing the little special things that i wanted and it just seems so pointless now. it's hard enough that most of my family wants nothing to do with it. so i try to come up with things to make it special just for me. it's not your fault, but i should have expressed my reasons before hand. i'm am crushed, but again it's not your fault. i'll just have to figure something else out.

me: just to clarify, you dont think i made THE cake do you? it was just the flavors, not the design.

her: right. but the flavors, at least the amaretto have been a dream for years. long before i ever dreamed up the cake.

(OK, at this point, i'm not going to let her control it anymore...no more nice guy)

me: ------ , i dont say this in rude taste, but this is silly. many people eat amaretto cake. you didnt dream up the cake either, they are both original designs by ron ben isreal and edith meyers which you desired to have recreated. i bake. i use recipes multiple times. i have served the banana cake to many others on different occasions as well. it is silly to say that your wedding will not be special because the flavor has been used before. how many people that ate teresas cake will actually be at your wedding? how many people, honestly, even will know the name of the flavors they ate??? its not anything to get upset about. now, honestly, i believe i have been more than accomodating over the last several months. i have spend dozens of hours of my time researching things for you. i spent an entire day in my kitchen baking your 3 cakes, hours shopping, emailing et. if you dont want the cake, that is fine, i wont play games with you. i dont like that you used the emotional aspect of this and the idea of cancelling the wedding over little details to manipulate me into saying how horrible i am for baking a cake for someone else...you are marrying a man you love. the rest, is minor! i have absolutely no qualms with returning your money minus my expenses. in fact, its headache enough, and i prefer not to do the shower cake either. my time is precious, i take pride in my work and i will not let this frustrate me any more. i will put your money in the mail tomorrow. i hope that you can move past this without having bitter feelings towards me, but in the end, i wont let it bother me. its your choice.


THE END...or i suppose, i MAY hear back from her.
post #35 of 273
First,
Doug is hilarious and I'm pretty sure can make anybody feel better in any situation thumbs_up.gif

Second,
The bride is off her meds. In our own little cake decorating fantasy-world, we could just laugh in her face and direct her to the nearest psych clinic and get away with it. Drat! We have to be nice icon_biggrin.gif

Third,
WHO CANCELS THEIR WEDDING BECAUSE THE CAKE FLAVOR HAS BEEN TASTED BY ANOTHER HUMAN BEING BEFORE THE WEDDING??? I will quote somebody here from Cake Central (*can't remember whom but) SHE'S A WACK-A-DOODLE!!!

and finally....tell the bride that her wedding will be different from any other person on this planet past and present if she gets married in her hometown....OUTERSPACE!

See ya Bridezilla !!! The poor, poor groom
Save the Earth - it's the only planet with chocolate!
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Save the Earth - it's the only planet with chocolate!
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post #36 of 273
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by foxymomma521

I think you should write to her and let her know that if she IS planning on cancelling the wedding you need to know so you can have the date open for other prospective brides... I bet that will get her to change her tune...



well, i decided not to ask, but to cancel myself. i dont want her to think she is in control simply because she has whined. no way. I CHOOSE NOT TO!
post #37 of 273
Whoa! Well, you spelled it out for her! Good thing--that girl is VERY spoiled!

She said, in reference to all the little special details being spoiled, "What's the point?"

Um, the POINT is you are marrying the man you love.

I had a wedding with a budget of probably $1000 total (dress, invitations, food, flowers). It was not fancy in the least. However, I have a great marriage. 11 years and counting. The marriage is SO much more important than the wedding, not to mention a little triviality like the cake flavor!
post #38 of 273
If she cancels the groom should send you a big box of chocolates as a thank you. The woman is out of her mind if she thinks that a FLAVOR is going to be original and you'll never use it again. icon_confused.gif
"If we are going to teach 'creation science' as an alternative to evolution, then we should also teach the stork theory as an alternative to biological reproduction." - Judith Hayes
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"If we are going to teach 'creation science' as an alternative to evolution, then we should also teach the stork theory as an alternative to biological reproduction." - Judith Hayes
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post #39 of 273
I think you are better off, this type of client gets only worst, run while yo can
post #40 of 273
Quote:
Originally Posted by melysa

Quote:
Originally Posted by foxymomma521

I think you should write to her and let her know that if she IS planning on cancelling the wedding you need to know so you can have the date open for other prospective brides... I bet that will get her to change her tune...



well, i decided not to ask, but to cancel myself. i dont want her to think she is in control simply because she has whined. no way. I CHOOSE NOT TO!



I've just read this entire thread and am laughing my A$$ off....not at you, but at how freak'n ridiculuous and downright silly this bride sounds! OMG! Sounds like somebody needs a WAAAHHH BURGER and some FRENCH CRIES!
post #41 of 273
WOW! I cant believe how people can be! I would Just tell her that you were wanting to make the cake for her but she was not in town. If she keeps throwing a fit I just wouldnt make it for her! I dont have the time for Bridezilla's! So what if you hame this specific type of cake for her your not aloud to EVER make it AGAIN!
post #42 of 273
WOW... if she wasn't crying before she will be now! I think that was very well said, and will surely get her to stop playing games.
post #43 of 273
Melysa - good for you for standing firm, taking pride in your work and labor and taking back your control!! . . . don't be surprised if she changes her tune and comes back crying for you to please do her cakes!!
post #44 of 273
Quote:
Originally Posted by HollyPJ

Whoa! Well, you spelled it out for her! Good thing--that girl is VERY spoiled!

She said, in reference to all the little special details being spoiled, "What's the point?"

Um, the POINT is you are marrying the man you love.

I had a wedding with a budget of probably $1000 total (dress, invitations, food, flowers). It was not fancy in the least. However, I have a great marriage. 11 years and counting. The marriage is SO much more important than the wedding, not to mention a little triviality like the cake flavor!



Amen to this! Uh Liza Minelli's wedding to David Guest cost them almost 4 million dollars. I take that back....THEY SPENT A SMALL TOWN'S COMBINED ANNUAL INCOME ON ....A DAY!!!!! Yeah they were divorced the next year.

I'm glad you canceled too!! thumbs_up.gif You may have lost the money but sounds like she is so super picky she would have found something else to complain about. Who needs that BS? Way to go, you are my new hero! I love people who stand up for the principle of the matter!!!!!
Save the Earth - it's the only planet with chocolate!
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Save the Earth - it's the only planet with chocolate!
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post #45 of 273
Wow Melysa...remind me to never get on your bad side! LOL

But I completely understand and agree with you!
She even wrote it in her e-mail" that most of her family wants nothing to do with it" ----> family issues and you're the easy target. I don't mean to sound like a witch, but it's NOT YOUR PROBLEM!
Booyah!
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Booyah!
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