OK, let me know what y'all think about this!

One of my best friends called me a few months ago asking about a cake for her Grandma's birthday. She said that it would need to feed about 30 or so people (sheet cake). I told her that I could do it for about $40. I mean, I am just trying to get started and I am tired of giving away cakes trying to get people to buy them (even if you are my best friend). I would think my friends would want to help me.....right? She thought that was too exspensive and we never talked about it again.

Then a couple months later one of my other best friends wanted me to do a sheet cake for her boyfriends nephews birthday party (spongebob). She had recently had a baby and she didn't have a shower so I never had the opportunity to give her a gift so I just decided to give her the cake at no charge, plus she gave me her Wilton tool box with some supplies that she had bought, but does not have the time to use them anymore, seeing that she is 31 years old with 4 kids, oldest is 10 yougest is 2 months. She really loved the cake and thanked me.

OK, then I was telling my other friend (from the 1st paragraph) about me giving her the cake for a baby shower present and she kinda had this wierd tone in her voice and said that was a really good present, sinse you were going to charge me $40. I got a little irritated but just let it go.

What do y'all think about this situation? Was I wrong to charge that much? I honestly did not feel like i did anything wrong. She basically paid for half the cake by giving me the Wilton tool box and few suplies that she did not use anymore.

Who you give gifts to is your choice. Plus, it was a trade for cake stuff, which probably was worth that much. You did nothing wrong.

I think its your cakes, you can give them or sell them to whoever you want. Your one friend may have her nose slightly bent out of shape . . . but she'll get over it. Like you said, you didn't get to make a shower cake for your other friend and she just gave you a bunch of supplies you can use. Sounds like she's a nice person and deserves a little reward--don't sweat it.

I've never sold a cake, still new to that. So I don't know if was an overcharge or not. Personally, I would've paid $40 for a good home made cake rather than $30 for a crappy store bought one.

HOWEVER, I don't feel you should EVER have to explain yourself to ANYONE. What you do with your time/talents is your business, not anyone elses.

I think your other friend needs to back off a bit and start kissing your butt so when she realizes that your work is worth well over the $40 you'll make her cake and not say no b/c she's been a grump to deal with lol.

You did nothing wrong! The Spongebob cake was 1/2 gift (which was very nice of you) and 1/2 in return for getting some great cake supplies. The first scenario was totally different - did she expect you to make a cake as a "gift" to her Grandmother??? Come on! That really was like a usual client request (just happens that the cliend is a "friend") for a cake and $40 sounds reasonable.

I agree with both of the previous posters. I don't think you tried to charge too much for that first cake, that's barely over $1 per serving. And you sort of DID end up getting paid for the second cake, just in cake tools, even though it started out as your GIFT to her.

Maybe going forward it would help to have a standing cost for cakes for friends, so there are no questions about it again. They may not realize exactly how much time and planning it takes and think you are "just whipping up a cake, no big deal".

I'm guessing it's going to be tough love for some people who are used to getting free cakes, but even if you can get them to start covering (at a minimum) your costs, at least they'll be getting used to paying SOMETHING for them.

Good luck.

sweetie,

I think you need to solve this asap or you're going to lose a friend. Invite her out for a cup of coffee and let her know that you have something to talk to her about.

Then...explain to her the situation...that you really didnt' explain yourself very well..

explain to her the situation about the baby shower and the Wilton stuff she gave you in return. Explain to her that the cake wasn't really "A GIFT".

Also, the posting about who you give your cakes to is your business but in a nice way...

You can tell her that if she needed a cake for her personally or one of her kids that you would be more than happy to give her a "deal" but since this cake was to be given to someone else that you can't be giving away your services.

You all need to be firm in your resolutions...if this is going to be a source of income for you, then you NEED to charge and stick to your guns.

If this is a fun hobby for you then by all means give your cake away free to who ever asks you!!

but not matter what, it's still YOUR business WHAT you decide to do!!

I have a different prespective on this. Normally, as a friend we look at getting things at a break. I really don't think she doesn't value your work, time or talent. She may think because you are a friend she can get a break that others are not offered. I personnally don't have a problem with this thinking. I think, (which doesn't mean a whole lot) we have all benefitted in the past from friends or family members, giving a break of some sort, if they can. My sister-in-law is a lawyer and we have in the past called and gotten her opinion on matters. To be honest she could say, well I normally charge $$$ for consultations (opinions), but because we are family she listens offers an opinion and keeps going. We know her time and knowledge is worth a lot, but because we are family this is what we do. No, I would not be offended if she told us not to call unless we had a credit card, but honestly I would be disappointed hey, aren't we all family. So, with all that said, I just think your friend is a bit disappointed and will get over it. She's probably really proud of your cake making skills and feels good that she can boast, hey my friend can make the cake, but has not really thought how much it puts you out of. I always try to look at the other person's perspective.

I think you need to talk to the friend again....I can kind-of understand why she might be upset...obviously it was two different circumstances, but that said I think our friends and family do expect to get deals....my Dad is really good at laying ceramic tile (did it for a few years for a company) but my Dad also works a full time job unrelated to tile work, so even though I would love for my bathroom to get tile, and my entryway to get tile, I usually wait until it seems like Dad has time for a project (and then ask for one thing at a time)....unlike my cousin last year who was building a house (being his own contractor) and asked my Dad to tile an entire Kitchen, huge walk-in pantry, entry-way, 3 bathrooms (including custom tile up the sides of a raised tub and custom tile with patterns in a big shower), and a laundry room...it took my Dad all the weekends of probably 1 month to complete (and at least $100 in gas) and he and Mom got taken out to dinner as a thank-you. My sisters and I were infuriated that he was so used, but my Dad was not upset, he thought everyone deserved a break now and then and was happy he could do something to help. Obviously this is an extreme example and I do not think that everyone needs to give free service, but if I ever sell cakes I expect my friends and family will always get a discount (heck the $40 may be discounted already I dont know)...but just my thoughts.

I don't think you did anything wrong. As you said the wilton items you received from friend #2 was a fair trade for the cake. I think if she was your friend she would have wanted to pay. At the end of the day business is business. I am so tired of friends and family always trying to get a break but will go out and pay someone else whatever asked for what they want.


She will be fine. (friend #1 that is)

I think she was given a break by being charged $40.

Let me say this....if you don't charge her now she will expect it for free forever and then will possibly tell her friends that you do her cakes for free and that you may do theirs for free...

I have made the mistake of giving free cakes to friends and then when one of them called me to do her mother's b-day cake I charged her for
it. She paid it and told me it was beautiful, but she hasn't spoke to me since. I figure come Feb. when her son's b-day rolls around she will call again, but she will get charged for that one too!!

You did nothing wrong!!!

I've been hired to make cakes for years. Throughout that time, I've done a lot of free cakes and discounted cakes. Years ago, a young woman along with her mother, informed me that I would be doing her wedding cake at a big discount. Her father and my DH were co-workers. I reluctlantly did it at half-price....9 cakes, bridges, fountain...all the bells and whistles she could possibly think of! That experience was not without an upside. As I was toiling away...crabbing and b*#!?%ing....begrudging every minute, I came up with some ground rules for myself.

1. I would decide when and if I would give a cake or a discount.
2. I charge my regular price for a cake that a friend/relative is having made for a gift. (They are giving the gift, not I).
3. I may do a wedding cake at a discount to my DH co-workers, but that will not include discounts to their children when they get married..
(This reminded me of my niece's inlaws, who were dumbfounded when I charged them for a birthday cake! They expected cakes for free!)
4. If I want to consider a discount, I don't discuss the discounted price until after the cake is ordered.

I find having my guidelines to follow helps avoid uneasy situations with friends and relitives.

You did nothing wrong!!! First off she should be happy that you got 1/2 paid and that you are able to trade or give your talent as a gift to others. Of course she may be the type of person that only takes and not the type that gives but some friends (like myself) can not see people for there true colors until something like this happens, and then boom!!! You suddenly relize that you are the one that always gives and gives and some are just in line ready to take and take and take! Sorry I seem so hard on the subject but I had a friend like that I had her for almost 20yrs Yup you read it hear. 20yrs and I finally got tired of it or should I say her! I paid $250.00 on a bridal dress then she cancelled the wedding did not pay me for the dress or any other brides maids then she got married 2 yrs later a differant man and I was in that wedding oh but she had to have differant dresses another $300.00 including the shoes plus I drove from Los Angeles to Visalia to be in it plus a gift then a baby shower gift spent a few $$ on that When I got married nothing she did not even come because she was not feeling good. Nothing serious just a little tired then I had my first baby not even a card but she did call me at the hospital to make sure all was ok. Alright I think you get the picture here I am a fool.....please stop yourself before it becomes to late. Oh just to let you know I have become the one that is always being called from her and I just tell myself she is not a part of my life any more and other than this one time hee!! hee!! I am a very positive person and was always the one to take the little stabs but not any more so think real hard how much this friendship really means to you. Or more importantly how she makes you feel inside and out. Thats what I did and I will tell you I can breath again!!!=) ok sorry it was so long but please don't be used. Good Luck and Take Care

I had this happen to me in July. A friend/neighbor called and "ordered" a volcano cake like on I have in my portfloio, only bigger. Now, we aren't good friends, but our kids played in the back a lot, and we would talk. I told her the discounted price for this cake would be $50. There's a lot of work in this cake...3D, decorated dino cookies, etc. She was getting a deal, especially since it was bigger than the picture. She aclled me 3 days before the party to cancel because she didn't have $50 to spend on a cake, even though she goes ALL out for parties. Told me she was making it herself, even though she doesn't even do no bake cookies. She has been different ever since, doesn't talk to me much at all, and didn't invite my boys to her daughter's birthday party last weekend. We are always invited to their parties. It really hurt me feelings, and we didn't tell the boys about the party at all. Had I known this was all going to happen. she would stop talking to me and would take a cake out on my children, I would have given her the stupid cake. If she had asked for a deal, I would have probably given it to her, but she "ordered" it, and told me to let her know how much. I would probably give her half of her money back or let her know her next cake is free so she feels "even" with your other friend, and would keep my mouth shut to others the next time I decided to give anyone a free cake. It isn't anyone's business, and isn't worht losing a friend over!

UNFORTUNATELY.........when we first start decorating....our family & friends are our first "customers".

As we get better and decide we're tired of giving away free cake that we labored over, we start asking for money..atleast reimburesement.

Our family & friends don't understand this b/c it was "free" before.


WHY OH WHY IS IT LIKE THIS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?



I mean, our family and our friends should understand that we're not going to blow tons of money and time just to give cakes away! I had this problem when I started charging for cakes and I just had to get firm and say this is what it costs...just let me know if you want it. Some were rude and said they'd just go to walmart, while others (yes family members) have given me large tips such as $40.......yes a tip!!!


You did nothing wrong, it's your friend thats having the problem. You make a cake, you should get paid for it. Also, when you give someone a gift, its' your choice as to what that gift is and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about it.



IT's funny that our friends seem to show their true colors when we least expect it. The relationship you have with one person is not the same as you have with others.



Just tell her to buy a cheap-o walmart cake!


Good Luck to you!!!!

Thank you all so much for your nice comments!

I have been friends with her for over 15 years, and this is not going to come between our friendship at all, it just kinda irritated me that she would not want me to make her Grandma's cake.

We have since talked and had great conversations, nothing has changed, we are still great friends, I was just trying to get some ideas from you all about how to not have that uncompfortable situation in the future.

Y'all have been very helpfull, and I think I have decided that I will charge 1/2 price to all relatives and VERY CLOSE friends!

CC'ers Y'all are just GREAT!