Ok, I have to ask even though I am feeling pretty dumb at the moment.
Why would a vegetarian freak out over MMF? Isn't it just marshmallows (sugar), water and sugar?

Cindy

[i]They always ask me about my buttercream icing. They tell me that it is not really that sweet. I tell them that it is a secret and can not be told even under penalty of death.

crp7, marshmallows are made with gelatin which is not vegetarian. I knew she didnt' eat gelatin and won't eat certain yogurts that contain gelatin, but I honestly wasn't thinking about it at the time.

Thanks. That never would have occured to me about the gelatin, especially since I am a carnivore!

Cindy

Well, I share every recipe I have, always have and likely always will. Guess it is just the way I was raised, share everything. I never hold back any secret ingredients or methods or anything, that just isn't right in my opinion.
If someone shares something with me and ask me not to share with others, I respect that.
Not passing judgement here, we are all unique individuals with differing opinions.
I was blessed with a dear aunt who shared many a recipe with me in my younger days. And a dear mother and sister and friends.
The thing is, I have been blessed by meeting many wonderful folks through sharing methods and recipes and instructions and such. Such a simple act has brought many wonderful folks into my life. So in sharing, I have been the one who has truly been blessed.
And I have discovered that when I need anything, a picture of a design or an idea or information, folks send it to me within hours. So I believe we all share in our own ways and each person's contribution is valuable!
Hugs Squirrelly Cakes

I personally do not mind sharing a recipe, but I do not give out recipes of cakes that I am going to sell, cause it takes business away from me. Besides, it takes time searching for special recipes for different occasions, so I direct the person/s to seach on the internet for what they are looking for. Sometimes I have someone say to me of I can't find such a recipe on the web site and I will reply saying that they have not search hard enough. And never leave your recipe binds laying around when you have guests stopping by to visit, cause I had an experience where I turned my back and a recipe was missing from my binder. The only reason why I know it was taken, cause I have recipes section off by catagories and when I went to seach this recipe from my binder it was not there. So I had to call a girlfriend of mine and had her e-mail me a copy of the recipe. So now when I am expecting visitors over, I put the binders up and when asked where are the binders, I will simply say that I put them up somewhere and can't be reached.

I can Honestly say I would NEVER EVER Give someone a recipe that didnt have the correct measurements. I think that is horrible. When I give someone a recipe it is TRUE to heart. I couldnt be mean. I'm Just not made that way..
~Sweet~=0)

Well Melissa, I am with you on that. I think it is a terrible thing to do. I have seen it discussed on other cake sites and folks did just that and thought it was one way of teaching a lesson. Well that much is true, it is one way of teaching a lesson, but not the right way. I was surprised at how many folks suggested doing just that, on this other cake site discussion. Sort of made me think that there was a lot of deceitful people out there, if that many folks thought that was ok to do. Geesh!
Hugs Squirrelly Cakes

And it was a family member at that

Yikes, if you cannot trust family, what hope is there, haha!
Hugs Squirrelly Cakes

I really don't mind sharing when I find a good recipe. I really like to help people out. I have found that people would rather have me make it for them anyway LOL

Heehee, Andrea, that is so true, after you list 4 or 5 ingredients you can just see the interest wipe off their faces! I often think it would be fun to go and make it for them, at their home. That way they get stuck with the clean-up!
Hugs Squirrelly

Hi All,

I just started decorating last year and am no way as a pro like you all, infact far from it. I am feeling so numb after having read you responses, esp. because I just got a recipe from Melissa. I now feeling a little guilty.

I must say though that maybe if I was doing it as a business, I probably would have felt that way about not giving out recipes. After I got recipes from Melissa and Squirellycakes I met a girl around my area who was starting up a business. She is a single Mom and she asked me for my recipe. Initially I felt mean about it, especially after having spent so much money on making the recipes the way I wanted it to be as the ingredient type varies from country to country. Then later I realized that hey, she needed it more than I did. I recently gave her the other recipes and even the buttercream that I had. I think about the money I spent sometimes but when I think about the help I gave that girl, I feel at peace. Melissa, I gave her your recipe too, but she would not create any competition cauz we live in Central America. lol.

But I respect what some of you are saying, like I said, maybe if I did it for a business I more than likely would not have given it out.

citrusgirl.

Okay so when I saw this discussion topic I was relieved, but here's the catch. I am starting my home bakery business and I have a friend who is also a baker. We have given eachother basic cupcake recipes before, but she isnt trying to start her own business, I am. She does things for friends and family, but doesnt sell them. Now, here's the catch. She is asking me for a recipe she has not done before. While I understand we gave eachother recipes before, this recipe is very popular for me right now. I dont know how to respond to her. I honestly dont understand why people would ask for recipes if they know Im trying to start a business! (the recipes were shared RIGHT before me trying to do something of it). anyone wanna help? LOL even in her email to me she asks me if I want to share my secret with her. i really dont want to. LOL

That's a tough spot Mostly....as a friend, maybe you can explain and she will understand that you are trying make a business out of this and she can't be giving away for free what you are trying to sell - but it's probably an uncomfortable conversation.

Just this weekend I was talking to a friend of a friend who has started a cupcake business (and I am the friends-and-family-type of baker) and her BC was soooo good and so much better than mine. I was asking her questions about it and she became very shut down and secretive. At first I was surprised, but then I realized that this is her $$ and I needed to back off. SO I brought my questions about it here and got the answer I was looking for.

I think a little friendly shared guidance is good, but you shouldn't have to give away everything.

Good luck!

My DH always tells me that I should never give out a recipe, or tell someone how to make something, that it should be my "secret" ... but when I get face to face with a family member or a friend that asks, I cave. The guilt of possibly being mean KILLS me. I know I need to get over it. LOL What can I say, I am a bit of a people pleaser....

MostlyCupcakes,
I would just be honest. Just tell her "I'm really trying to get my business off the ground. If you don't mind for the first or two year I'd like to keep my trade secrets secret until I get established with more business. "

If she really is a good friend she should be sending business your way. I've been having this delima as well not because anyone asks but because I'm really hoping the baker bill passes in Texas and once it does I will be less forth coming with the recipes. I have no problem pointing people to recipes I've gotten from books or online. I even tell people to check out CC...considering there is a billion chocolate cake recipes on here to try, I don't see a problem with it. I don't come up with my own recipes but I do tweak them so I don't mind if people ask. I just probably won't volunteer as much if I get to start my own business

Suppose it's a chocolate cake recipe that I make that they want and I'm not eager to share, here's what I say: "I'm sorry, we don't share recipes." If they persist I tell them "Even if I did give you the recipe, it wouldn't taste the same as when I make it because I tweak it even while mixing to make it my own. Surely you can understand." They usually go away after that. Some persist and I tell them "My suggestion to you is to go on the internet and go to the library and get all the chocolate cake recipes you can find. Then start making them as they are written. Then take LOTS of notes. Does it need more this or less of that? That's how you adapt a recipe and make it your own. And really that's what you want to be known for, your own recipe, not mine." (Smile sweetly and walk away.) On the RARE occasion they just keep badgering me I tell them "You will find in this business that people generally are more willing to share their techniques than their recipes. Surely you can understand." I have found that you have to really watch the ones who ask very pointed questions "what kind of chocolate did you use in that cake/ how much Vanilla is there? What is that special flavor? etc." They're the sneaky ones who try to get it out of you thinking you won't notice.

As for people asking "can I watch you make a cake?" I get that all the time. I simply tell them "I'm sorry, I don't offer a shadowing program but we do offer private lessons if there's something specific you would like to learn." When I did offer the shadowing program I was so darned distracted that I make stupid mistakes and ended up doubling my workload. That's why I prefer to work in private where I can focus 100% on the cake without distraction.

Hope that helps!

Thank you guys! I sent her a message saying a friend gave the recipe and I couldnt give it out. she replied that she wanted the technique (whats worse, giving out the recipe or giving technique? LOL) so I replied with a very BASIC way of doing it.

i just jokingly say - "sorry, ancient chinese secret" and leave it at that!

HAHAHAH 2 years ago I went to dinner at a friend of mine's house and her mom had made these AMAZING potatoes, when I asked her for the recipe in a VERY snotty tone she said I dont give MY recipes out... A few weeks later it bit her in the ass when I made my pasta salad and she wanted the recipe and ASSUMED I wouldnt give it to her because she didnt give me her potatoe recipe oh and I brought dessert that night too and she had to proclaim how she makes the same thing but hers is lemon he husband said I dont like lemon I like the chocolate (mine) everyone laughed. Turns out the recipe is from cambells and I soooooooooo wanted to make the potatoes for a get together and serve them to her..... I dont mind giving out my recipes to certin people but if your going to be a snot to me well then dont expect anything from me.

I think it all depends on the profession - for example, I used to work in IT and you'd be surprised just how many people expect you to fix all their computing problems........for free!!! In my last job I used to sit right next to the finance department and one of them came over and told me her computer was goosed and needed repaired and would I do it for her - I replied 'well how about you do my year end accounts for free' and that was the end of the conversation. Some people just have a real brass neck and expect you who has put in ALL the hard work, investigation, studying, learning to just pass all that over to someone for free so that they don't have to pay you to do it for them. By all means learn how to do something so that you don't have to pay for it, but don't just expect the professionals to give you everything that they have spent years mastering, for free!!!