Cheapzilla needs a dose of reality. I wonder if she's been in a grocery store lately! $12.00 for a cake???? 
I wouldn't turn my KitchenAid mixer on for that price. 
Bread and frosting?? OMG! Buy a $1.25 loaf of french bread and put a $1.42 can of BC pourable icing over the top of it - spray it red and give her the finger on your way out the door! That my dear...is a $12 cake!! 
I say tell the "nice" lady no and then explain for $12 she can buy several boxes of Little Debbie snack cakes at Wal Mart and place them on a tray, they are already decorated and everything, cause you know it's just bread with frosting. 
Plus - can you imagine how much red coloring it would take??? Red is the hardest color to make! I only make red if it is for an accent color - not to frost the entire cake! Lots of food coloring! Plus, who would want an all red cake anyway!?!
Exactly.....evil laugh!
Asking if she would do the cake for $12 is far different than telling her she should do it because "after all it's just bread and frosting".
Precisely the reason that her request was and automatic NO! even if she was willing to pay me more.
ok, can't hold it in any longer...lol
Maybe, this woman is looking for a bargain because...
Drum roll please...............
She plans on plopping some decorations on the cake herself and passing it off as something she did?
Yep, that is almost what happened......
I haven';t read this all of the way through, but I'm going to hazard a guess that no one came up with this idea as of yet...... make a cake with cheap ingredients and somehow, when you deliver it, find a way to stomp on the brakes and ruin the cake. When she asks if you can fix it, the answer is no because you have already used up her $12.00 on ingredients, box, board, gas, and delivery fees. You didn't have enough for extra icing.
I was rolling when I read this, and I would have acted that out too...LOL
homecook you had me dying!
Well actually guys, i did not have to deal with her today. (YAY! One less violent act in the world today!) I did not see her all day, nor did I hear from her until I got home this evening and listened to my messages.
" .....Dont worry about doing the cake. [Like I had already started or something] I have decided that im just going to do it myself. [Remember guys: she cant cook!]. I already have some decorations that I was going to add to the cake to finnish it off [WHAT!] . A little piping jel and a print of....... yeah I think she might like that. [I can tell you now that the "print" is more than likely on paper, seeing as it might have cost her too much to get it done correctly] I dont want to worry you, I know you have a lot other cakes to get done. [yes resonable paying ones] So you dont have to worry about me. [and I do not feel sorry for you] Oh, by the way I wanted to ask you: do I just buy the food coloring in the store or is there something else to get it a pretty solid red? [evil laugh] Alright ima let you get back to your work. I know you have a lot to get done. [like peanut butter I do!] ttyl. bye"
No that itch didnt just say she was going to "finnish it off herself"! Oh "L" NO! There would have been a fight if it turned out that way after I had made it! Going to take my work (although not my greatest and full potential) and put you -it on it! Somebody would have definitely ended up with a heel in their neck.
......So to be polite I responded to her message:
" Im sorry I could not take the time out of my busy schedule to accomodate you. I do have other paying obligations due by friday. On the note of which food coloring to buy; get bottle of the durkee brand red food coloring and add the entire contents to the frosting. It should create a pretty solid red color. Dont worry about the taste, it has a hint of strawberry. ".....'s" favorite! (not) Oh and a little advice, depending on the print you got for the cake, you may have to "iron" it on to get it to adhere. Well I gotta get settled in here so i'll se you at work or whenever. bye!"
LOL that cake is going to be -it! Luckly I will be attending the get together at work. Too bad I dont have the time to make a cake for"......". You know what, I think i'll just take $22 out of my pocket and go buy her a nice sheet cake!
Im just a little food cake!
gee if she had asked nicely- ie shopping around for prices like normal polite sane people do, a simple, my prices are such and such would suffice.
I'm just pricing out for a basic cream cheese icing alone and cant imagine how that's possible. I was curious so I'm pricing out the cost of just ingredients from my grocery store.
(converted to Canadian dollars, 12 US is about 13.50 Cdn)
I block cream cheese - 4 bucks (if 1 recipe even covers a sheetcake lol)
1/4 pound (1 stick) Butter- 1 dollar
2 lbs icing sugar - 3 dollars
quarter cup Crisco/vanilla/salt/food colouring- 2 dollars
2 DH choco cake mixes - 4 dollars
6 eggs/oil required for 2 recipes - 1.50
k what am I at here - my cake ingredients alone cost more than 12 dollars. Granted I priced out retail prices on a per project basis as opposed to wholesale.
I did not include fixed and variable costs- like percentage of equipment and depreciation thereof, utilities(phone, electric, etc), rent, insurance, licence, and salary.
Some people need a basic lesson in accounting and economics 
Midnightsnackcake.............you take the cake for sure! I am lmao. I would love to have been there to see your face when you listened to your phone message but even more, I would like to have seen her face when she listened to yours.
STUPID FEE JUST INCREASED BY LEAPS AND BOUNDS!!!
Diane
OH MY GOD!! Please tell me you didn't REALLY tell her to put a whole bottle of Durkee in there... and to iron on the pic. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!! I am ROLLING!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Laughing so hard I am crying and peed a little for good measure!
Edited to add: I predict someone is going to wander onto this thread and in their best self righteous tone tell you that was *wrong* and you shouldn't have done it.
OH MY GOD!! Please tell me you didn't REALLY tell her to put a whole bottle of Durkee in there... and to iron on the pic. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!! I am ROLLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Laughing so hard I am crying and peed a little for good measure!Edited to add: I predict someone is going to wander onto this thread and in their best self righteous tone tell you that was *wrong* and you shouldn't have done it.
If anyone tells her that was "wrong" we will charge them a "Stupid Fee."
Between this thread and watching Law & Order shows tonight, I have gotten absolutely nothing done. Just got off the phone with my daughter (who recorded L & O and is just now watching it) and she wanted to know if Elliot died. Wouldn't tell her but I told her about this $12 cake and she was laughing so hard. Finally told her the truth about Elliot..........
I'm leaving you crazy cake people and going to bed.
Diane
Oh wow...you're reply message was SO much nicer, than I could have managed. I probably would have waited -until the day of her event- to return her message 
I probably would have said the items you use are professional items that are not available to the general public, but she could try using food colouring and hope for the best
I'm laughing so hard, b/c of this thread! Someone needs to come up w/ an acronym that deals w/ cake decorating, but really stands for stupid customers 
I wanted to take my heel off and throw it at her back
(*puff)
ROTFL HAHAHAHAHA
omg--isn't Durkee a liquid food coloring, like McCormick, how much is a full bottle & what kind of frosting do u think she would use
any one ever heard of soup--it goes nicely w/bread--i think she's gonna get soup & bread sounds like a hitting end.
but who knows, maybe she just didn't know any better 
sure yeah right
OK, I have to go dry my eyes because I'm laughing so hard I can't see the screen any more. I can just see her pouring the soupy frosting on the cake and ironing the print on it. We'll all be waiting with anticipation so please let us know what it looks like.
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!
TAKE A PICTURE
Yeah!! I want to see too.
Hopefully she uses canned frosting, it makes even better soup when mixed with tons of liquid coloring.
You should have told her to put 2-3 bottles of liquid coloring in, one won't make it red or nearly soupy enough to dip the "bread" in.
When she complains that the iron didn't work tell her you're very sorry but you meant put it in the oven on warm for 5 minutes.
If she actually follows your directions watch out for that stupid tree, it's probably following her around and might accidentally hit you.
When she calls you to make a last minute order because she did follow what you said triple the stupid fee.
Okay I know I'm not a nice person today but this is so much fun.
Sometimes it is just so hard to be nice--especially this early in the day.
I woke up this morning thinking about this d@#* soupy red frosting. She can dip the bread in it and pretend it's tomato soup.
We are terrible, aren't we......................
Diane
I'm sorry, but I'm still dying over the iron part. I am seeing this lady trying to press the cake... frosting melting and burning all over... the smell... it's lucky for me that I have such an imagination because it's almost like I'm there watching it!!!! Maybe we'll really get lucky and she'll use the steam setting!!
OH MY GOD!! Please tell me you didn't REALLY tell her to put a whole bottle of Durkee in there... and to iron on the pic. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!! I am ROLLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Laughing so hard I am crying and peed a little for good measure!Edited to add: I predict someone is going to wander onto this thread and in their best self righteous tone tell you that was *wrong* and you shouldn't have done it.
I am laughing SOooooo hard at you!! You peed for good measure 
I am DIEING!! I think I peed a little when i read that. 
I had to walkaway from the computer to get my composure.
I am LMAO at the soupy icing too!! Way to go thats sooooo funny.
You ALL are crazy!
No wonder I love it here so much
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Make yourself and AWESOME cake!
Oh my gosh, you people are HISTERICAL!!!!!!!!!!
I, too can't wait to find out how this lady's cake turns out!!!!!!!!
She'll probably be mad when the frosting turns out all soupy!!! You should tell her "I'm so sorry! I always use the expensive profesional food coloring, but I knew you were on a budget and that was the first thing that came to mind!"
What a jerk to expect to put her own crap on your cake!!!! She deserves what ever disaster is in store for her!!!
Also, tell her it takes a long time to master the art of cake decorating! But if she keeps it up, maybe some day she could be good at it too.............AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
She'll probably be mad when the frosting turns out all soupy!!! You should tell her I'm so sorry! I always use the expensive profesional food coloring, but I knew you were on a budget and that was the first thing that came to mind!"
I love it, oh that was classical....Oh wow...I'm crying I'm laughing so hard My mouth is hurting from laughing. If some of the "would be" customers knew what went on!
Oh my! I can see the ebay listing: "Lovely pink-colored iron, only used once"!
Marilyn
Sometimes it is just so hard to be nice--especially this early in the day.
I woke up this morning thinking about this d@#* soupy red frosting. She can dip the bread in it and pretend it's tomato soup.
We are terrible, aren't we......................
Diane
Make sure you bring goldfish crackers.
Wonder what category we could put chocolate cake au jus in? CC might have to dream up a new one........
Diane
this has to be the BEST post I"ve read here in the last 6 weeks!!! Thanks for the smiles!!!
If it's just some bread and some frosting then why doesn't she do it?????????????? Crazy Cheap Person that's all I can say stand for what you believe in Good Luck
Just got a call for a birthday cake on Friday. I made banana bread today. Wonder if that would suffice for bread and I'll throw some red frosting on it. Surely the banana bread would add something to it. I could get at least $12.50 out of it..........
Diane
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