I am going to vent Just a little. I started doing cakes for my kid's B-days just to save money. Then I thought that I would take some cake classes to improve just a bit. My husband was very supportive. Then I started getting lots of cake orders from friends and family. I was really shocked at first becasue I never thought that just a little bit of time That I could be semi good but now they are calling me to place orders. Well I just did this big wedding cake this weekend It turned out great I have it in my pics. I got lots of cake orders because of it. the calls keep coming in. But ..... My husband's additude started to change a little bit. after everyone started say that wow You are going to make alot of money if you keep this up or that is the best cake ever. He started to tell me umm the Cake is a little dry. ummm one cake is shorter that the other...... and sooo on. Do you guys ever have this happen to you? I know that there are Husbands that are VERY supportive. But do they feel a threat? I don't know I have soooo much to learn yet. (I don't even know how to do a mmf cake yet) so I can't say I am THAT good to earn tons of money anyway. But WTF? do you guys have simular stories am I the only one?

Are we married to the same man?? Mine always thinks that his ideas are better than mine, and his eyes are better than mine, and his taste buds are better than mine. So every cake I do he has to make comments about it, til I doubt my ability and go insane and swear that I'll never do another cake (at home) ever again!

I feel your pain.

My DH is supportive but every now and then, I think he gets put out with the amount of time I spend on cakes. Not every time. I also ask his opinion in the designs of the cakes...he's happy to give it.

I have begged him to go to ICES with me but he says he's around cake enough, he doesn't want to spend anymore time than he has to...LOL!!! And I think I can NEVER spend too much time.

Just don't neglect hubby and he should come around. I ask mine to help some with coloring fondant or mixing frosting if I am on crunch-time and he happily will. Oh, and definitely thank him for helping!

Oh, I want in on this! For a long while every time I made a cake, DH would comment, that is beautiful honey but you should of done (XYZ) instead with it. Or he would come into the kitchen and ask, why are you doing it this way, you should do it that way, use this, use that. That isn't the way Alton does it, etc. making me !

So I sat him down and explained that I don't go in and tell him how to manage his people or run a restaurant. Very calmly explained how these are my art workings and I understand he is only offering up suggestions but if I need help or opinions, could I ask him instead of him telling me? We saved ourselves from lots of tears out of me by this conversation!

So maybe, just talk to him, feel him out or say what do you think is different from the other times?

Your cakes are great..be proud of what you do!

Haha...I love this....Yes my hubby started also to get a little cold around me when I started to. Then I started asking him how is it. And with a cold "it doesn't taste good" he would response. He would tell me hey maybe you should do this....I would ignore him...then I started bringing him in and say what do you think...he would help me out and now he's my other half. I asked him once....why did you act that way sometimes. He responded..."Well, I mean your talented, makes me think well what do I have other than working for the man." But bringing him in makes it all better and alot of fun. To him it was not me spending more time...it was just a little thorn in his mind. Maybe....I don't know ask him for his advice make him feel that he was part of that cake. Indulge him with a little credit once in a while. JMHO.

Sorry i dont have that with my hubby he is fab and hangs round waiting for the offcuts hehe along with the kids but i do however get that from my brother... he never says ohh cool cake but youknow it would be better if you did.... so my answer to him is well you try it make it and if it works fine but otherwise keep ya mouth shut. I dont tell you how to do your cars. I cant be all bad as he may make out as i made his wedding cake at their request and made her wedding bouquets etc all of icing too again their request...

Dont let him get to ya just turn off as my hubby says (his fav saying) and just nod to keep him quiet and happy.

Happy Decorating

My first thought when I saw your headline was "He's a man .... how can you tell?"

I think it's very normal. Mine was ok with me resurrecting the business. Then the weekends were full, the house was full of equipment, the kitchen was flour coated most of the time. He couldn't see the forest for the trees.

As I moved forward to make this a "real" business venture, he hesitantly came along (some of you may remember that I told him "This train is leaving the station with or without you .... you just need to decide if you are coming along on the ride or not!").

What made the big difference? Profit. Pure and simple. Profit.

- How did we get $3000 worth of landscaping? Debi's profit wrote the check.
- How did we finally manage to get the porch and house trim painted so we didn't look like the worst house in the neighborhood? Debi's profit wrote the $1200 check.
- How did we decide one day just to go out and buy all new appliances for the house? Debi's profit wrote the check.
- How did HE get a brand new off the showroom floor pickup truck? Debi's profit wrote the down payment check.
- How did I finally manage to get a bigger delivery van? Debi's profit wrote the check for $5000. Yep, I paid CASH for my van! Whatta great feeling!!

So now he's convinced. He used to say that he would never leave his full time job because (a) he thought it would be stressful to be together all the time and (b) he was NEVER going to admit that he worked FOR me. However, now he's pestering me "When can I quit my job and work for you full time?" (as office manager handling the books ..... as anyone who runs a biz will tell you, the paperwork workload is a BEAR and I dont' have time for it anymore!)

In my every-so-never-humble-opinion and having been married 20 years, mine was being a baby because I was suddenly too busy to bring him a beer and he actually had to get up and get it himself.

He got over it.

Profit.

My husband is supprotive also. I asked him one time why some men do this. My brother was doing this to my SIL. He said " men have ego problems." DUH! "That when the man is the "breadwinner" then the women starts a hobby such as this & makes money. Somewhere in their brain they get afraid that the women doesn't need them anymore. So as little boys always do with their competition, they try to destroy it."

I was wondering the same question myself if we're married to the same man???

My husband was supportive at first, but now that the business side of things has started to take off a little bit he's pulling back. Out of one side he says he supports me doing cakes, but when it comes time for me to work on an order suddenly his action is that he can't help to watch our daughter in the evenings and he doesn't want DD in daycare any more days than she's scheduled (2). Granted, I'm for the most part on the positive when it comes to income, but I'm also following my FIL's business model of reinvesting almost everything and only taking peanuts for myself these first few years until things officially take off.

Like any business that a person is passionate about, others, even within the same family aren't. It's finding the balance that works and understanding what the other persons objections to your success are. For my DH it's primarily that he really hasn't adjusted to the fact that he has to accept having a child requires him to also adjust his lifestyle. When I do cakes he gets a taste of what I go through every single day and he isn't liking it for a second. Things like not getting other work done, not really being able to sit down and eat undisturbed, trying to get caught up during nap time, nap time ending FAR too early, whininess, etc.

Granted it takes time for them to adjust but MAN is it annoying sometimes to listen to them complain!

When I confronted my husband about the same behavior, saying "I know you want me to succeed, but please quit acting like a micromanager", his reply was, "I'm only trying to help because I know you are a perfectionist."

He has stopping critiquing, but now complains that he never sees me since I have to work on the cakes after the kids go to bed

HA I love the comment " men have ego problems!" is that ever an understatement. I think sometimes my husband thinks i'm crazy for wanting this so bad, but then sometimes I think the same thing about myself. Just hang in there if it's something you enjoy and you can make a buck you're ahead of the game already. He'll join with the program in the end, and if he doesn't then honestly it probably wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Women are always supposed to support their husband, for centuries we've gone where they go there are even songs about it "I will follow him, I will follow him wherever he may go" But, not many songs out there about I love this woman so much that even if she's up until five am baking a cake instead of feeling upset, or left out I will take care of the kids, let her sleep in and then bring HER breakfast in bed. Now that is a song I'd sing every day! At least you know you're not alone. And, for the most part you're in VERY good company!
Jen

This is soooo great to know Thank you guys for your support. It makes me breath a little easier too.

You're not alone!!
I've always made cakes for my kids birthdays, and my husband loved them all, but her used to try to convince me to BUY the cakes instead of working for hours to make them, but of course, i never listened to him.

This year, a lot of friends encouraged me to start selling cakes, so I gave it a try and I loved it. My DH didn't like it first, but when he saw friends encouraging me, he was very supportive. Then suddenly, he started nagging and saying that I'm spending my time in the kitchen and ignoring HIM and the kids!!! Maybe he was in a bad mood or something!!!
He also started to say things like: Why did you do this instead of that? Why is the cake tilted? It's too sweet! The cake is dry!! etc...
At the same time, if anybody has any bad comment on my cakes, he gets upset and defends me and my cakes!

Now when he sees me upset or depressed, he tells me to go decorate a cake!

So with my husband, it depends on his mood!

Maybe he would rather have me in the kitchen making a cake, than hear me nagging all day.

Oh yeah... when all else fails. Put Wesson oil on the toilet seat before they get up in the morning. I did that when my husband got the wonderful stuff here in SC called red mud on my brand new chamange colored carpet a few months after we got married(1996). He had to get up @ 2:30 am for work. So, at 2:15 I got up, grabbed the oil & a rag and put as much oil as I could on the toilet seat. Jumpd back in bed as if I was asleep. The clock went off, he got up with a minute I heard AHH Along with THUMP. Let's say he wipes is feet off or leaves his shoes outside now.

dl5, you are my kind of woman!!

my husband is still supportive although he is my best? critic. he just honestly tells me when a cake i've done is a masterpiece or not. although recently, he did start to have that faraway dazed look in his eyes whenever i start a sentence with, "you know what i saw/found out in cake central today?..." i don't blame him, i could really go on and on about cake. and you know how women have a tendency to think aloud? so i ask him whether i should do this or that regarding the cake design, and he gives me an answer and i do what i decide anyway. he looks at me like, why'd i ask him in the first place but i'm too busy working on the cake again and i'm done with him. since i know i'm like this, i don't really blame him for any of his actuations

my husband is still supportive although he is my best? critic. he just honestly tells me when a cake i've done is a masterpiece or not. although recently, he did start to have that faraway dazed look in his eyes whenever i start a sentence with, "you know what i saw/found out in cake central today?..." i don't blame him, i could really go on and on about cake. and you know how women have a tendency to think aloud? so i ask him whether i should do this or that regarding the cake design, and he gives me an answer and i do what i decide anyway. he looks at me like, why'd i ask him in the first place but i'm too busy working on the cake again and i'm done with him. since i know i'm like this, i don't really blame him for any of his actuations unfortunately/fortunately, i don't make a real profit yet so i wouldn't know if his ego would be affected if i actually made real money already. far as i can see, he's still at that stage where he's fondly watching his wife play "business." let's see where time will bring us.

indydebi,
That's nothing. He was mowing grass one year it was 104 outside I made him sweet tea. BLUE sweet tea. He was cluless until he drank a whole gallon. hehe
Four bottles of food coloring will give you a beautiful shade of blue

My DH is wonderfully supportive. The one thing that gets my back up are suggestions and his good ideas! I smile and keep on keeping on. He's truly just trying to help.

As far as the glazed over look or lack of intrest, I can only say NASCAR. My DH loves NASCAR. He will start telling me all the latest stats, who won this who took tires.. blah blah blah... just putting the shoe on the other foot, ladies!

OMG! My husband is the exact same way!! Now if I ask his opinion its no longer, Oh its awesome its "Oh you should do this differently, oh this is off." blah,blah,blah! My last babyshower cake with the jungle he told me my paint job was messy and basically told me it sucks! So forget you being your worst critic, its your husband!!! Just take the critisism with a grain of salt and as long as YOU like it, and the customer does, his opinion doesnt count!!!

my husband is like this also, but i think it comes from a place of encouragement, albeit misguided encouragement, but encouragement none the less. he will nit pick at every little thing about my cakes, but he does it so i will notice these things and know what i need practice on, because no matter how good someone is, there is always someone better. I must admit, i do it to him as well with his spelling. im always over his shoulder saying things like "um, you don't spell 'either' eighter. there is always knowledge to be gained, and if one settles for what they can do without striving to be better, we wouldn't have things like light bulbs and kitchenaids i do tend to be annoyed by my husbands quips, but then again, i also don't like when people aren't honest with me. i guess i feel like he should stand by me and just say hey that's a cool cake, but i wouldn't want him to lie to me if it was horrible and then have someone else say it was awful and be embarrassed. i think men do let their egos get between their brain and their mouth and aren't thinking of the damage that their words will cause. its funny, the same guys who are sitting there saying how your cake isn't level or you have one shell on your border not perfect are the ones who come to you on Dec 23rd saying they promised 2 cakes for a party the next night, along with dip and everything else you were already bringing...(I swear I could have killed him when he did this!) My DH has a seriously bad habit of going on about what i do to other people like he's so proud... but then its almost like its HIS thing, and not mine. sometimes i feel like i'm his little cake elf that he hides in the closet when we have company and i only come out to bake in the wee hours of the morning... not to mention the dish elf and the cleaning elf, and the laundry fairy... you're totally not alone with the wonky husband though

jmt, It's the use of the term "nag" that is offensive to me. It's a word used by MEN to describe women who repeatedly ask/tell them to do something. It's used to demean women and "put them in their place" by degrading them to the status of a worn out workhorse who doesn't question "The Grand Master" of the farm.

If the husband would just do his part of the household chores, it's wouldn't get into a repeating/ignoring match.

I don't think I should have to "ask" a husband to take out the trash. "Oh honey would you pretty please whenever you feel like it do me a big 'ole favor and take out the trash?" (bat eyelashes .... smile empty-headedly). If I notice it's full then so does he .... especially when his beer can falls on the floor because the can is overflowing. And when it is pointed out to him that it needs done ("Honey the trash needs emptied), all he has to do it DO IT and the "nagging" won't continue.

Sorry, there are many married men think their wife IS the same as a mother ..... you know, that woman who did everything for them when they were a little boy so they could play with their toys and not be responsible???

Sorry to go off on a rant ..... it's one of those terms that absolutely gets under my skin.

my husband does it too...."is there anyway you can fix that"...or hmm try this idea instead...cant you think of a better idea? that icing doesnt sound good with that cake.....

honestly he's made me cry....he's made me throw my kitchen aide at him( oh wait that wasnt because of cake )...he's made me think "wtf does he know"....but Ive come to realize....he does it because....

Ive taught him to do it!!!.....I have showed him how to see the cake how I see the cake...and now he does. So I guess in all reality I cant complain when he does it...because he is just my second set of I can see all my flaws eyes