I live in an 18 unit apartment building. There are 4 of us who are into baking and candy making and we have all agreed NOT to step on each others toes. I won't make drop cookies because my neighbor makes fantastic drop cookies, and she agreed not to make cakes. The other two ladies make candies, cookies, breads, etc.... at any rate, we don't go into each others space. Any way, this Sunday DH and I took the kids for a family outing and when we got back there was a party going on in the courtyard. My cookie neighbors nephew turned 12 and they had an impromptu party for him. Anyway, after a bit of ribbing about them not being invited to go with us and us not being invited to their party, I noticed my ""Little Bill" eating this great big peice of two layered white and chocolate cake. And he seemed to be having a bit of difficulty with it. So I asked his mother, who is one of the other bakers, how the cake was and she said she couldn't answer me then because she didn't want cookie neighbor to hear. Anyway, later on, she told me that the cake was so dry even a glass of milk couldn't help it go down! Both of her sons gave up trying to eat it and threw it away. Anyway, that made me feel good, but what really made feel good was the fact that later that evening my husband went to empty the trash on the laundry room and came back into the house snickering up a storm. I asked him what he was tittering about and he said that there was so much cake in the trash that he would guess it would have been almost a whole cake! I have a feeling that my toes won't be stepped on again, but here's the dilemna I'm in....... I really like cookie neighbor (she adores my kids and the kids adore her back), and she does have a buisness with her cookies, but do I want to share with her the baking secrets I have learned or do I insist that she not go into cakes and stick to cookies?

I'd share ... that way you can help eachother with the others specialty ... her teach you cookies and you teach her cakes. Then she'd start buying pans, tips, etc. and you could swap back and fourth. I don't know ... thats just me ... but I'd love to find someone that could teach me and vice versa. It would be nice to have someone to bake with.

i would insist that she stays in her cookie business !

Tough one..I would say that as hard as it is, you would probably be better off just keeping quiet about all of it. It could turn nasty if you aren't careful. Otherwise, you can give her a little advice and help if she asks for it- we could all use a little extra good karma, KWIM?

Amber

From your story, it's hard to tell whether cookie neighbor made the cake or not. One of her guests may have brought it to her, initiating the impromptu party.

I would share info. Why not?

I would not share! My reason for this is because, y'all had an aggreement not to step on each others toes.

Why would she have not ask you to make a cake for this person? It's not like she just found out her nephew was turning "12".


So, I would just not say anything about her cake or how bad it was, I'm sure she allready knows by how much was thrown away.

This should not mess up your friendship, or her relationship with your children.

If it was me, I would just let it go. Maybe in one of your
friendly chats with her, out of curiosity ask : "BTW who brought that birthday cake" ? " How was it"?... or something like that.
You are not obligated to share anything with her. Also, there was no some kind of contract signed by all of you stating an agreement as to who bakes what. It was all a friendly agreement which is good. But nothing legal.

2 cents only.... I would not offer any advice unless I was asked for it. If you actually want to learn about her cookies, ask, and see if that begins a reciprocal relationship. Otherwise, it's probably best to "let it go".

Tori[/img]

I think it all depends on how close you are with her, do you consider her just a good neighbor or a friend? I think i would tell my secrets if I'm asked but I wouldn't volunter. I also think that if she made the cake for her nephew she maybe was trying to do something nice for him, she could have made cookies thought, but you also are entitled to make cookies for your kids and close family, like others said, there is not a contract or abything like that, you just can ask her in a very casual way about the cake and that way you may find out if her intentions were to be sneaky about it or just something that she didn't even tought as something bad. That's just my opinion.

Has she even said anything about wanting to make cakes? I mean if she asks you for advice then you can decide whether or not to give it. She might not even be thinking about going into the cake decorating business. She might have just wanted to make a cake for the family member. You cant really prevent a person from baking a cake. I just wouldnt even bring it up.

Well I think it's kinda silly that each of you "agree" not to cook the other's specialty. What if someone else actually does a better job?

I wouldn't give any advice/tips unless asked.

I also don't understand about the agreement that you wouldn't step on each others toes. Are you all trying to get business from other tenants in the building? Or are you referring to a celebration where you all would attend and bring a dessert? If you all bake for family and friends and not business related, this shouldn't be an issue.

Only give advice when it is asked for it. She hasn't asked has she? Then I wouldn't give it.

I wouldn't tell her to stick to cookies; there's nothing wrong with making a birthday cake for a family member! (I'm assuming she didn't charge for the cake and break your agreement.) My daughter insists I make her birthday cake every year and would be really sad and disappointed if I bought a cake, even though I bake and decorate only two cakes a year and am a rank amateur! It's part of the birthday excitement for her.

Sometimes one's effort counts for a lot, even if the cake isn't the best.

I'd tell your friend casually, if the subject comes up, that you'd be happy to share some tips with her, why not? She can always decline, and you let it go...

Cheers, from
SwampWitch

Personally, I would let this go. She stepped on your toes but everyone found out she's not the one to order cakes from. If you're like me, I don't give out my recipes. If I did that, everyone might just make their own cakes. I teach cake decorating and even then don't give out my wedding cake recipe. It's a family recipe I made my family suffer through with "tweeking" to make it better and it's a big part of my business.

I have friends and neighbors who buy cakes from Wal-Mart or HEB or simply make their own cakes and I own a freakin' bakery! Do I get upset at them for it? NO. It's none of my business! I feel that if I push my product on someone I am really pushing that person away...no one likes to feel they are "made" to do something. As for competition...what kind of world would we have if there were no competition for customers???????

MYOB.

If you weren't invited to the party I don't see why you should feel like your toes were stepped on, either.

You dont' say if you actually tasted the cake or not .... sounds like you were just getting reviews from those who did .... so I think it would be difficult to discuss how to improve a cake that you never tasted. With that assumption, I wouldn't offer any tips or advice unless she asked.

The way I read this was that a lady made a cake for her nephew. Maybe she was just trying to surprise him. I hardly doubt she was intentionally was trying to slight you or step on your toes. I wouldn't read anything into it.

As for sharing tips, if you go to her and say, "well, this could help make it better" or something like that, she would be insulted. Unless she asks you for advice, it's probably better that you don't just offer it up.

Just my 2 cents.

I don't really have many neighbors so maybe that's why I don't get it but I must agree with Newlywedws. It sounds a little weird to me to not make each others "specialty". That would drive me crazy to know that I did not have the freedom to bake or make whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

I disagree with sharing information with this person.

If she was deceitful enough to go behind your back and bake a cake for someone in the complex, even though she has no cake baking skills, then what makes you think she is not going to continue the practice once she has some?

Theresa

I'm not so sure I get the point of this topic. If your neighbour baked a cake...so what? If it was 'dry' and tasted 'awful' so what? She probably just wanted to try something different to what she normally does and maybe even learn something new in the process. The way I see it she also put care and love into baking the cake for her nephew.
I think you should let this one go. If you are doing cakes as a business then by all means don't share info but at the end of the day you might also be able to learn stuff from her.

I would let it go. From the way I read it you don't really know if she is the one that made the cake or not - one of the invited guests could have made it. And if she did make it, I don't see where making a cake for her own family is stepping on your toes. Just because each of you have your own specialty and have agreed to not "step on each others' toes" doesn't mean that you're the only one in that complex that is allowed to make a cake or that she is the only one allowed to make cookies. let it go - there are more important things in life to worry about and it doesn't sound important enough to potentially harm your friendship over