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Under Paid Wedding Cake!! People have b---s!!! - Page 2

post #16 of 45
I hope you will trust your instincts next time--oh, and Dear Daughter not allowed at the tasting/contract.

But if you agreed to do it all for 200 and schlep it to the city you can't blame the bride/MOB/Groom for being underpaid.

It's awesome you can sell your cakes for a nice profit, make sure to find the people who are willing to pay for it. How many servings did you figure? By my count it was probably around 1.00 per serving possibly less--There's no profit at that price point, and the worst cake to make is the one you resent having taken on.

Sounds like some couple/family. Did you meet with the Bride or her mother? My understanding was that you met with the mother of the Bride. I hope you had a contract. It is especially important in the case of friends and family and friends-of-family.
post #17 of 45
First off - I'm sorry you had to go through this terrible ordeal!!

Secondly and most importantly - If I were you I would sit my daughter down and have a LONG discussion with her!!! She should have never put you in this position. She being friends with the bride should have known something of the financial situation and the lack thereof.

Kudos to you for even going through with letting them keep the cakes. If they were descent honest people that were trying their best to pay their bills and then try to fund a wedding but were having a hard time...then I think maybe I would do the generous thing and make the cakes for a smidge above cost. However, it sounds like these people were trying to have an extravagant wedding at the expense of all the vendors! Sorry if I sound like I am a terrible person but this just makes me mad when good people get taken advantage of!!!

Lazy_Susan
"God will probably not be interested in how much we included in our day, but how much of our day included Him." - Allia Zobel-Nolan
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"God will probably not be interested in how much we included in our day, but how much of our day included Him." - Allia Zobel-Nolan
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post #18 of 45
Well friend or no friend I would not have done those cakes for 200 with the assorted fillings plus a sheet cake. If they could afford to have cute little engraved boxes for people to take cake home in then they could afford to pay you more.
If you felt obligated then you could have said....for 200 I will do 2 10 inchers and 1 8 incher... but you will have to pick the cakes up yourself and there will be no sheet cake for extra's to be sent home. You can't do business like that. Your cakes are beautiful to say the least and I would be wary of getting any business from people that went to that wedding. They will try to finagle a cheap cake out of you too.
Stick to your guns. She could have gotten a cheap cake at sams or walmart....
post #19 of 45
well as cheesy as it was for your daughter to manipulate you like that and the woman to do the seame- I have to agree- you could have said no- I'm sorry, that you went through that this time, what's done is done- but please learn from that experience next time- i'm not saying that harshly- I'm saying that as nicely as possible-
I also agree you need to sit down and talk with your daughter about that- friend of a friend thing

that whole 'i know someone who'- on a generic topic now- that's just all a load of crap- and just because I know someone who is a plumber, doesnt mean the plumber is reputable- you dont OWE your friends or family anything to go on their suggestions or word or batting eyelashes or anything else to say- well come on do me a favour and hire this person. NO - it's a short word- it's an easy word to say once you practice.
Again, i'm not wanting to be harsh about this. I'm not defending the woman or anyone else out there who pulls crap like this sob story stuff.

You always have the opportunity to say no. And who cares if they think you're an ass., or your daugher 'hates' you for a while. Or friend or son or cousin., They'll get over it,. And if they dont, that's their problem. Seriously, they have growing up to do also. You cant (generic)just let people walk all over you jsut because they're friends or related.

Like I said, sorry you went through that- but she displayed all the signs going in that it was bad news deal, and you let your daughter manipulate you- yeah I know that sounds harsh- and it's not anythiing about beating anyone up- but you have to see that for what iat is. She was not really respectful to you and your craft to do that.

Please tell her that you're really not happy about that and that she ought not try that kind of stuff again. thumbs_up.gif

And in case that didnt come through before- I'm not trying to be nasty- just a lot of you people out there seem to think you have to bend over backwards and take stuff because the bride will be upset and it will ruin her day blablabla. The world is full of first class grade A manipulators- who put on the sob stories and the whole nine yards for years and have it down to an ART that you woudlnt see it coming if it blindsided you.

So I'm ordering all of you to stop being such softies ! LOL (that was a joke by the way like lovingly cause you're all groovy people but STOP IT! LOL)
post #20 of 45
I disagree. Her daughter did call the groom and up the amount. It was the bakers choice to accept the job. I probably would have taken the job also because it was for my daughter friend. This bride should have asked for a simple cake knowing her family was having money problems.
post #21 of 45
I'm not saying that she shouldnt have taken the job. I would still think it cool to mention to the daughter how she didnt appreciate the pressure etc etc
My issue is with the ENORMOUS amount of talent I see in here, tremendous talent, that just deserves a little bit more respect all around including self respect/or sense of self worth. And so to maybe sit down and not go over your head just because your daughter's friend is getting married or someone else you know, to say listen lets sit down and talk about an 800 dollar cake that you can't afford and a 200 dollar cake that you CAn afford. The cheaper cake wouldnt have had to be crap obviously.
Again, I'm not defending the family- if they knew they were having money problems, the only mature/responsible thing to do would have definitely not been to try and take advantage of the friendship/relationship connection to try and get an 800 dollar cake for 200 or 100 or whatever ended up getting paid. Not just the fact that the groom tried to get more money, just the fact that someone that manipulative gets away with that kind of behaviour without knowing it was not cool.

At the very least she needs to know. Listen, I did this favour for my daughter because she's her friend, but I have to tell you, whatever you decide to do with this information, I have no control over, but I Really found it disrespectful and you took advantage of the situation and while I did her that favour the one time I wont be doing anything like that again.

It's perfectly OK to share your feelings with people about how you feel. Not always easy but it gets easier with practice. The main reason people like that continue to breathe (or continue that behaviour I mean) is because people continue to allow them to walk all over them. Or at the least if it happens to say afterwards, listen my lesson was learned but you need to know that your behaviour was not cool etc etc.

I just hate seeing you people with your huge talent allow yourselves to get abused, that's all icon_smile.gif
post #22 of 45
I don't think it was wrong to accept the job....I may have approached it "what/how much do you want to spend and I'll accomodate". This is why I'm SO scared to do wedding cakes! I have my second wedding cake consultation in a couple of weeks and I'm so damn nervous about it I can't sleep. I told my husband I've contemplated telling the couple I've decided to concentrate on "other" cakes and no wedding cakes! They're not getting married until next Summer so they have time to find another baker!
post #23 of 45
When the woman said at your meeting that she was losing her home and her job I think it should have been a BIG red flag, which it sounds like it was. At that point I think you didn't want to do it. Personally I believe I would have talked to the woman about the cost and what she could afford. Gee, it sounds like she gives the sob story about losing the home and job yet she's going ahead and planning a big wedding she might not be able to pay for. I would have bowed out of this deal and let me daughters jaw drop open. I am a nice person bt I'm not doing charity work here. I've given pleanty of discounts to friends and their friends but something like this smacks clearly to me of people way in over their heads and no $ to pay it off. I'm sure sorry this happened to you. I wish you'd packed the cakes off to some churches or something. I think you'd have felt better about all the time you'd invested. And yas, I'd have quite a talk with my daughter. Although mine knows what work goes into my cakes so that wouldn't happen here. AND I don't mean that as mean criticism towards your dd, so please don't take it that way.
"Life's tough, pilgrim. It's even tougher if you're stupid!" John Wayne
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"Life's tough, pilgrim. It's even tougher if you're stupid!" John Wayne
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post #24 of 45
Cambo, wedding cake or occasion cake, pressure is pressure. Don't be afraid to do a cake. All you have to do is make it clear as to what you expect from your customer. After all, they would not hesitate to let you know what they expect from you, right?

I have a friend who liked to volunteer my services for birthdays at church. She went to the later service where most of the younger kids attend, so no one from the earlier service really knew what was going on, but it finally got down to "I've had enough practice, now I want to be paid for my efforts" and she has since stopped asking me to make cakes.

I think OP should sit with her daughter and read her the riot act for putting her in the position she was in. Impressing her friend was one thing, but manipulating her mother was another.
Spanish sugar, French Pastry, Swiss chocolate, and American Apple Pie. How much sweeter can life get????
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Spanish sugar, French Pastry, Swiss chocolate, and American Apple Pie. How much sweeter can life get????
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post #25 of 45
Your cakes were beautiful. I can understand you doing the cakes for your daughter's sake; and I can even understand her wanting you to do them for her friend's sake. And, people do have financial reverses - I understand and sympathize with that - and maybe the financial problems began after they committed to this wedding. What I can't understand is how ungracious and ungrateful they were and how they treated you. You gave them something wonderful for next to nothing and they felt it was perfectly fine to give you next to nothing - financially and attitude wise.
Cake...it's not just for breakfast anymore!
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Cake...it's not just for breakfast anymore!
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post #26 of 45
ocean, I was not disagreeing with you I did disagree with newlywedws I'm so sorry, by the time I posted several other comments had been made.
We all pretty much agree that she has real talent and that she maybe should have discussed price with the MOB before agreeing to make the cakes- maybe suggesting a cheaper alternative usually I would say Mind your own business but in this case the MOB told on herself-no job no home...

I do not believe that the daughter owes her mom a thing she only wanted the best cake for her friend the responsiblity is with the baker like I said to discuss price and options with the bride and family or whoever. How many posts have been on this very topic most people dont think what we don is difficult or expensive, how much of a deposit and when to collect payment. i think wedding cakes should be paid for in full 7 days b4 the event, especially if fondant and elaborate decor is included.Some will pay for beautiful and delicious cakes.
These folks were broke and I hate it for them but I hate it more for the ones that were stuck losing money with them. If folks would accept the fact that maybe they cant afford everthing they want we would not be having this discussion now.
post #27 of 45
I've learned not to give discounts unless it is a rare, rare occasion, and only then it is because I decided to on my own, having nothing to do with what the customer can or cannot afford.

I either give cakes as gifts...or if a customer cannot afford a quoted cake I either try to suggest a cheaper design that they can afford, or they decide to buy one elsewhere.

A good way to "cheapen" a wedding cake is to make a smaller tiered one and then make sheet cakes to cut in the kitchen.
post #28 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by throwemndapan

ocean, I was not disagreeing with you I did disagree with newlywedws I'm so sorry, by the time I posted several other comments had been made.


Okie doke artichokie- no prob- I shoulda looked at timestamps lol-is ok if you were disagreeing anyway cause that's allowed :p I was more thinking in retrospect how I might have worded what I said differently to get my point across lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by throwemndapan

These folks were broke and I hate it for them but I hate it more for the ones that were stuck losing money with them. If folks would accept the fact that maybe they cant afford everthing they want we would not be having this discussion now.


Exactly- it's a sad thing- Ive been in financial bind, and I know plenty of others who have- probably everyone has at one time or another. Another rule about integrity I guess. If you cant afford something, you take a raincheck on something or cut back in places. But alas we live in a society where we 'buy now pay later' and with that I think goes the attitude that well I WANT IT NOW and 'we'll have to go without' just isnt in some people's vocabulary unfortunately. (Example, my sis - one of them, is single parenting, end of summer expenses putting kids into activities, well her car insurance ran out and she had to pay a speeding ticket off before she could renew insurance. And she's telling me this as she's stopping into 7-11 to buy 4 slushees for herself and the kids- uh hello- anyway- apparently I'm related to her LOL)
post #29 of 45
ok ocean I agree I know someone with the same issues right now. When I got married we could not afford air. I know my wedding was if anything was $500, that includes food the cake my salon trip and everything. I am still married and happy and if I had a million dollars the only thing I would change would be the cake. It was cute and tasted great, but I would get one of my cc buddies to do it....................for a discounted price of course LMAO!!!!!!!!!

People can always find a way to pay for what is important to them ya know like fast food and concert tickets no not bills no never!
post #30 of 45
well hopefully your daughter learned her lesson on this one. Friend or not do not ask mom for this kind of favor ever again! These people should have had a small scale wedding for their budget, not the elaborate one they had which it sounds like they were not willing to pay for. Sorry for all the frustration you had.
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SEMPER FI!
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1, 2, 3, 4 UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS!
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