THAT'S not the scary part. The scary part is proving to my friends and family that I CAN make my own cake without turning into a huge ball of stress.

But I have a plan... the cake design I want to do, while very large (at the groom's request), is mostly make-ahead stuff. It's RI roses and drop flowers, with piped on stems and leaves. I forget the name of the design, but it's in the Wilton Weddings Cakes book. I dont' have the book yet... it's next on the list, but I keep coming back to that particular design, so that's what we're going with.

but I digress... the plan is to make all the decorations ahead, so that I'm not trying to do a bunch of stuff the day of, or the day before.

So my question is: Can I freeze already buttercreamed layers, and thaw and assemble the day before? Should i just freeze the layers, then buttercream and decorate the day before?

Seriously, what order should I do things? I know if I start now, I'll have plenty of time to make all the flowers, and plenty of time to make and freeze the layers, if that's even advisable.

the only wedding present my sweetie wants from me is this cake. We discovered by accident that we both wanted exactly the same thing, and that the cake was not only the backdrop for the wedding pictures, but that it should be huge, over-the-top, and he wants me to make it.

So any advice at all will be welcome, except "Get someone else to do it!" LOL That's just not an option.

Oh, and we're getting married September 8 of this year, so I have two months to make this happen.

No pressure, right???

Sorry this was so long... I'm just REALLY excited, since we confirmed the site this afternoon, and suddenly it's REAL. Ya know??? After almost 11 years together, we're finally doing this, and I couldn't be happier. But now I want to get things done so that I WON'T be a bridezilla!

Wow! I admire you!

Here's what I would do but then again, I like to be super planned and organized when I make a cake, especially a large cake, but then again I work full time, so I have to be. Anyway, here are my suggestions:

1. Start making royal icing flowers now.
2. Make a detailed shopping list/things to do list now
3. Start shopping for non-perishables & supplies now
4. Prepare cake boards now.
5. 3-4 weeks ahead, make icing and freeze
6. 1-2 weeks ahead, bake and freeze cake layers
7. 2 days before, level, fill, and crumbcoat
8. 1 day before, ice and decorate
9. Morning of, assemble
10. Enlist groom's help as MUCH as possible.

Do you have a cake decorator friend that you trust that would be willing to help you with the filling and icing and who would be willing to set it up for you? that would help tremendously.

wow! What a wonderful list!!! Thanks so much! I think I'll print that out, and keep it in plain sight, to remind me to stay on task!

I don't have a cake decorator friend that's not already very busy that day (as far as I know), but I am hoping that I'll plan right, and will be able to set it up myself the morning of. We're having an afternoon wedding, so I should have the early morning to get it assembled on site, and still have time to get dressed and stuff.

Fortunately, my best friend (and maid of honor), is a super-organized OCD type (thank goodness!), and is pretty much already taking over the schedule of events that must happen between now and then, keeping in mind that this part is NOT negotiable, and it is the most important part, other than him, me, and the minister showing up! LOL

Not sure whether you're a pro or not, but first things first, check with your reception site AND caterer to make sure that you can even bring a DIY cake into the venue. Most states have laws regarding this and you don't want to be stuck without ANYTHING on your wedding in tears because you didn't check on things first. Yes, reception venues DO REJECT DELIVERY on cakes that aren't made in licensed kitchens if they are held by state law in regard to food sourcing.

My only thought is on the steps... if you have to ask, you might want to hire someone else out to do this for you... Even if you don't want to hear it, LISTEN! (and others will back me up with far worse horror stories) I've heard more professional baker MOB's and MOG's say it was the worst idea they ever had to do instead of being able to ENJOY the wedding they were doing all the details of the cake instead of being "there" with their child on one of the most important days in their lives. The week of your wedding you are going to have TONS of running around to do to the point that you'll be scheduling yourself potty breaks and realizing you have to hold it because you don't even have time for that. The day of your wedding, you're going to have your shower, hair, makeup, manicure, pedicure, meet with 300 people pulling you in 2000 different directions to make sure the last minute details are attended to, oh, then get your dress on, stand with a pasted on smile for 3 hours, and finally the ceremony. Setting up your cake will be the LAST thing you want to be doing the day of your wedding. Also, what if something happens in transit... your tiara falls into one of your cake tiers... Your dress gets cake on it.. and and and...

If it's a Wilton cake, they'll break the steps down completely for you. If anything else, just make a cake dummy for your photos and just do kitchen cakes up for your guest servings (and even then, really think about hiring this out!) with an insert area in the cake dummy for you to do your cutting. As for order, what kind of freezer access do you have??? You can't freeze a huge cake if you don't have huge freezer space for it.

As for "getting someone else to do it"... YES, it really IS an option. I have brides calling me for cakes next month still. Thankfully for them I've got a few openings left because I'm a sucker for a bride who has to move up the wedding because they don't know if their parent is going to LIVE until their original date... If you don't own EVERYTHING for making this cake already it's going to cost you at least 2-3x what the most expensive baker in the region will charge you to do the cake exactly as you want, deliver it, set it up, and take a picture or three of it. You also have to figure in the value of time. What is 40 hours worth of work worth?

Do up a groom's cake for your honey and call it even. Leave the main cake to someone else and take the stress off of yourself. If you've never done this cake or cakes similar to it before, your wedding is NOT the time to start.

One of the reasons it's not an option to have someone else do it... we can't afford it. Plain and simple, we don't have the cash to have someone else do it. Not even to have it done at the local grocery store.

As for the wedding itself, it's going to be a very simple wedding at the home of a friend. They have an out-building that was once used as a church, and the wedding and reception will be held there. It will be a very small wedding, with about 50 people, if that. So bringing in my own cake isn't only allowed, it's required! LOL

I have done a wedding cake, and I have practiced and plan to practice, a LOT between now and then, I promise! I have the equipment to get this done... the only things I need now are a fountain (optional, but desired, and can be had with a good coupon in the next two months), and the stairways. Everything else is already in the cake cabinet. We do have access to a large freezer, so keeping it safe and cool will be easy.

As for stressing out... since the ONLY thing that we really want to have at the wedding is this cake, it's really the only thing I'm worried about. The ceremony will happen, no matter what, and after almost 11 years together, it's pretty much just a 'making it legal' type thing. Our family and friends already consider us married, and legal/medical reasons have kept it from happening so far.

I won't get dressed until the cake is set up, and I plan to make sure that there's a guard on the cake at all times. We have plenty of fighters (we do medieval re-creation!) to do that duty, and they'll feel useful at it. Even if there's an emergency, since we're not bound by time constraints, I can fix it. The wedding will happen pretty much when I'm ready.

Since we're not doing a huge thing, and my best friend is OCD and will be taking care of the small details and the freaking out (LOL), I don't see being that busy the week before. We're not decorating grandly, there will be no florist enlisted, no meetings or fittings or anything. The most there will be is cleaning the building that it will be in, and maybe picking up chairs/tables from a rental place, if we decide to do that. I'm doing my own makeup (used to be both a photography and a Mary Kay lady, and have done wedding makeup several times), and my hair will be up in a simple twist under my veil. I won't even have a bachelorette party to worry about, because frankly, none of my crew really is into partying and drinking. If we do go out, it will probably end about 10 pm. We're lightweights.

Bottom line is, no, I've never done one this big, but I have confidence that it can happen nicely, even if it's not perfect. Since this wedding will be pretty much as low budget as we can get without having someone else pay for it, the cake isn't only our gift to ourselves, it's also the main decoration of the wedding. I've wanted to do this since I was 12, and took my first Wilton lesson.

I've just never frozen a cake before, so I wasn't sure whether to freeze it frosted or not. I guess I just panicked there for a minute.

I think you'll do fine! yh9080 list looks awesome! Good luck and can't wait to see the pics!

good luck! i like the suggestion of making a really super awesome dummy cake for your reception and serving kitchen cakes to the guests. you will have the time to make it perfect since you can do everything really early on. and then just bake, fill, and ice the kitchen cakes 1-2 days before. i think its great that you're doing your cake, (i wish i had done mine, i was actually quite disappointed in it), and i really think a dummy is the way to go.

you could do a three tier round of six, eight, ten and keep the six inch for your anniversary. the eight and ten will feed more than fifty. you can bake and freeze early in the week and you should be fine. its a big cake but not so huge that you cant conquer it. i like the relaxed feel of the wedding your planning. have fun.

dont freeze it frosted. just bake and wrap tightly several times after it has cooled completely. ice after it has thawed so you wont have a problem with condesation on top of the icing.

I think it is great that you get to make your own cake! My mom made mine and my sister's and they were both great( and it kept her busy so she wasn't bugging us!!)
My good friend made her own cake (way before I knew how to deocorate... otherwise I would have done it for her) Anyway... she was very calm about it, and they even had to re-do a layer because a dog got to part of it (long story) but all that is to say...take a deep breath, make some roses while you watch tv between now and then you have plenty of time to get everything done. So may people stress out about the "day" and don't remember the "life" that is ahead of you. I was sitting in my livingroom making pew bows the morning of my wedding, and I had a fabulous Maid of honor who took care of details and made it a great day for me!
Best Wishes!!!

I would bake and cool each cake. torte, fill (assuming you are doign all buttercream here) and let it settle. then crumb coat and freeze. after about 45 min, take out the cake, wrap well (double layers of plastic wrap and double layers of foil). Do this for each tier you need.

1-2 days before, take out each tier and unwrap, then put on final coat. I don't always even let them fully defrost. if your only decorations are the RI roses, just put those on once you hae transported the cake and set it up.

I can definitely relate to what you're going through right now!!! Two years ago, I made my first wedding cake...it was my own! What an experience that was! The tips others have posted are great ideas...definitely use those. The best tip I can give you has already been given...get someone whom you trust and know will be able to be your "right hand" that day...other than your maid of honor. You will need someone to help you keep on track with what's more important that day--getting the cake set up or getting married!!!

Worse case scenario--I was 2 hours late for my own wedding, because it took much longer to set up the cake than I had expected...my hair and makeup looked horrible because I was worried too much about how the cake looked instead of how I looked! After all the worry and frustration, the wedding went fine, even with some glitches with the music, but we got married, and we're still married two years later! Everyone told me afterwards--IT'S YOUR WEDDING....YOU CAN BE LATE IF YOU WANT TO BE! IT CAN'T START WITHOUT YOU!!! And you know what? They were right!!! The guests were more impressed with the fact that I had made the beautiful cake than they were worried that they had to wait for the wedding to begin. It's YOUR day...so try to enjoy it!!!

Suzian Cunningham
www.suzianscakes.com

I just wanted to pop in and add that it's not a GIVEN that you are going to be uber-busy the week, or even the day of the wedding. It's all about planning and being organized. For my wedding, I catered the whole thing, had my BFF do the flowers, Nephew was photog, etc. And I was so organized that I had literally nothing to do for the last week before the wedding, other than cook, and that didn't even take that long. (Ok, the downside was that they blew up New York three days before my ceremony, and that threw a damper on things... that was hard to come through, but we did it!) Anyway, you don't have to be a basket case, and with you, since you have been together so long, I don't think you WILL be. I think these nervous wrecks are people who haven't been with the soon-to-be spouse as long as we have! I don't mean to specifically say younger women, but women who maybe haven't lived with him, or who have only been together with him for a year or something. That's just a guess. Not to insult anyone. I am sure many of them are calm and organized too. I just know for my wedding, I wasn't the least bit nervous because I knew everything edible was going to be out of this world, I knew that the decorations were great because I did all of those too, and I knew I wasn't nervous because we had lived together for over 6 years, and I knew it was right. Just my two cents... I think you are going to do great, and I think it's lovely that he wants your cake!! He respects your abilities!! YOU GO GIRL!!!

DoniB, you will do fine, you sound so determined and with the organization list you should be able to pull this one off!!! I looked at your cakes and just can't wait to see the finished product, I know it will be so pretty. Good luck and I hope the experience is stress free

My first wedding cake was my own. I did it for the same reason-just couldn't afford to buy one. I borrowed the petal pans from my mom and purchased the stand and even purchased ready made RI roses online because I had never made flowers. I had some problems with the cake being crumbly but 2 crumbcoats fixed that. I covered all 3 layers in sotas and it looked so much like lace. I got so many compliments on my cake!! I don't regret it a bit!!
All my family and DH family pitched in and we had a pot luck/cook-out reception (got married on July 4th).
Good luck and have fun with it.

Whoops! I forgot one thing on my list.......on Thursday a.m. (early) before the wedding, remove cakes from the freezer. Hopefully, whoever, you borrwo the freezer from would be willing to do this. And then around lunchtime, start the process.

I've used this basic timeline for every cake I do and it always works well for me.

You sound like you're very organized (or soon will be), so I think you'll do just fine! Granted, when I got married I didn't make my own wedding cake (hadn't started cakes yet), but I know that I could have because I was so organized that the day of my wedding I really didn't have anything to worry about besides getting hair/makeup done. And I even made all centerpieces, programs, wedding favors myself and we had over 450 guests. My best friend (and Matron of Honor) came up from Nashville a week before the wedding to help and we also had a ton of help from my mom.

My MOH also insisted that we had one day in the middle of the week (Wed) that was designated "Non wedding" day...which was great and very relaxing, we spent the day shopping, lunch, and fun.

I enlisted a bunch of people to help with decorating the day before (ended up with about 10-15 people helping), and that was all done on the day before. We also had our pedicures/manicures done the day before.

I had comments from a bunch of people the day of the wedding stating that they had never seen a more calm bride....

Best of luck to you!! I'm sure you'll do just fine!!!

thanks, everyone, for the encouragement and advice. I love CC!!!

Melvira, thank you!!! It's pretty much a given that most brides will be that busy, but honestly, there's just not that much to do with mine. Even my best friends are shuddering at the thought, convinced that I'll turn into a bridezilla (though I have never given any indication that I throw temper tantrums to get my way... sigh...). But the important people in all this... him and me... feel that I can do it, and we already accept that there might be some issues with it.

And personally, I'd rather do my first really big wedding cake for myself, so it doesnt' matter as much, than for a paid order.

Did I mention it's got to be huge??? He comes from a large Italian family, and their tradition is that, no matter the size of the wedding, the cake is enough to take up a whole table (a long one!) on it's own. LOL

But no dummy cakes. I asked. He said we've never lied to each other, and he feels very strongly that a dummy cake would be a sort of lie.

Who knew he'd have such strong opinions on it???

BUt he's willing to help as much as possible, and has even mentioned learning a few things about cake decorating between now and then, to help me out the day of/night before.

Any doubt as to why I love this man???

DoniB, you sound like a lucky gal!! I am so happy for you and excited to see what this monster cake looks like! You are going to be sending whole cakes home with people... and let me tell you... THEY WON'T MIND!! You should buy a bunch of boxes, there are places you can get them really cheap, or send a note to a few of your closest buds to bring containers to send with people. Everyone can start saving up anything acceptable for that use!!! You are going to have a great time!! Oh... I envy you... I wish I could have a second wedding. It's SO much fun!!! I loved every second of planning, preparing, I thrive on that!! Most important of all... remember to enjoy it, because afterward there is this post-wedding dullness!! It sounds funny, but it's like... "I don't have anything to plan...?"

I thinkwhat you are doing is great. I owuld love to have the pride of doingmy own wedding cake. I think that since you want such a large cake, and are only have about 50 people, I would do at least the first three layers fake. That will save you on baking time, and cost, and will also help keep the cazke a little lighter and add to support. NO way are 50 people going to be able to eat 6 tiers! Just bake and freeze, and ice and decorate the day before.

Good luck, I can't wait to see this cake!!!

Fortunately, having something to plan is never a problem in my little social group. We do medieval re-creation, and there's ALWAYS something going on that we have to plan for several months in advance (friend of ours were the last king and queen of our 'kingdom', and are fighting in Crown Tournament again in the fall, so yeah... plenty to plan for! LOL)

Actually, considering the amount of people we usually need to plan for, the wedding is pretty small. We'll probably have way too much food, and plan for way too many people, but oh well. Better to have too much than too little, right???

Thanks to everyone for their support. I'm keeping this thread in my watched area, so I can look at it from time to time over the next two months, when I need to de-stress! LOL

Remember if you can't afford to have even the local bakery make the cake for you, you can't afford then to purchase the ingredients and may want to go with a cheaper dessert to make instead. Price it out for you to do a dummy main centerpiece cake in advance then have the local bakery make kitchen cakes for you. Don't say you outright can't afford it until AFTER you have priced it.

The ingredients alone are going to cost you $85/100 guests and $45-55 per cake trial. The only reason I know this is because that is what it costs me every single time I fire up the oven to have a bride come in for a tasting. That's not ONE SECOND of what my time is worth. And, that's shopping at Sam's for most of the ingredients getting what feeble discount there is on them because of membership.

If Sam's charges you $30/sheet cake that realistically serves ~60 (o.k. their paperwork says I think 90, but I'm talking REALISTIC slices..).. Can you afford to purchase the ingredients yourself for that kind of rate?? Otherwise, something to consider is to purchase the undecorated cakes already baked by Sam's and go from there. It was posted in another posting as an idea, and taking the baking time out of the equation will help reduce some of your stress level when it gets to be the time of.

Your FRIENDS that know you are telling you this is a bad idea, MAYBE, just MAYBE, they know you better than we all do here and know it's a bad idea for you to take on something that important and last second for a DIY project.

As for being late for your own wedding, I was a guest at a wedding that they were over an hour late in starting the ceremony because something major was forgotten (the AISLE RUNNER!?!?!?!?!??!). It was HORRIBLE as a guest because we hadn't a CLUE of what was going on sitting in a non-air-conditioned Catholic church knowing the couple was there, but what on earth were we all waiting for??? Granted, the couple is still together and are sweethearts, but still..

I also helped make my brother's wedding reception cake. It was AWEFUL how much stress doing that darn thing put on us and we were JUST making 5 kitchen cakes then stacked one on top of the other four. We were definitely there late because we were just rough-icing the whole thing because it took so much longer to bake the things than we ever imagined. It was a SIMPLE cake, and it still took us a week to do and my Ma had made several much more complex wedding cakes in the past.

Again, go get yourself three quotes from different bakeries before you count the idea completely out of having someone else do it for you.

You will do fine! It is your wedding and if the groom is behind you not to worry. 50 guests is different than 300 at a church w/time limit. Go for it and remember to enjoy every minute till the big day is over. Especially the last week. It goes so quickly and you will be so glad you did your own w/ lots of memories. Congratulations! Plan ahead like you are doing! Good Luck!

Dont listen to anyone saying that you can`t, your a very secure person, and whatever you want to do you will. I dont know you but im very proud of you!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!

Of course listen to any advice on freezing or not and stuff on that matter, cake matter, not discouraging you!!!!!!

"Remember if you can't afford to have even the local bakery make the cake for you, you can't afford then to purchase the ingredients and may want to go with a cheaper dessert to make instead. Price it out for you to do a dummy main centerpiece cake in advance then have the local bakery make kitchen cakes for you. Don't say you outright can't afford it until AFTER you have priced it."

Um, no offense, but please give me credit for having half a brain. Of COURSE I've priced it out. Sheesh! And I've already done cake trials, I've already timed stuff out. I know what my costs are, and what the risks are, and the groom and I have already decided that the risks are worth the probable outcome of making it myself. And I've stated already that a dummy cake is out of the question, for various reasons. It will all be real cake, and it will be the cake I want. There will also be no 'kitchen cakes', because frankly, it's just as easy for me to do a decorated tier as it is to do a sheet cake. And I enjoy the tiers more than sheetcakes. It doesn't save me enough money to compromise on that. Just not worth it.

If you'll note, the original question was NOT 'Should I do this myself?', but 'can I freeze cakes that have already been decorated?'. Doing it myself was never in question, and will not be. If I ruin my own wedding, I'll only have myself to blame, and I understand that.

I have been decorating cakes for 24 years, since I was 12 years old (the photos in my photo section are not the sum total of cakes I've done... just the ones I've actually remembered to take pictures of over the last few years, that happened to be in my computer. Once my scanner is working again, I'll try to post more), and I have had the image in my head of this particular cake since that first Wilton class. Turns out, my groom has, as well, though that came from going to large Italian weddings as a child. I know the recipes I will use, and they have worked for me consistently through the years. I have complete confidence in them and in myself.

Also, the site we are using will allow me to come in friday night, if I want, to set the cake up. It will be safe overnight, if that's what I want to do, and that way, there'd be no problem at all with 'holding up the wedding'. If not set up on friday, the design I want is pretty much just setting cakes on pillars, etc. I've done this before. I'm not concerned.

This is what we both want, and even if money weren't an issue, I would still be doing it myself. We could win the lottery tonight (oh please oh please oh please!), and I'd still want to do the cake myself, simply because I have always wanted to.

I understand that you're trying to help, CoutureCake, but really, please listen to what I'm saying... I'm not asking whether I should... I'm asking advice on how to get the cake I have my heart set on, in the most efficient manner. Doing another dessert or a different cake is not going to happen, neither is a dummy cake.

It sounds like you've had a bunch of negative experiences, but I've had many PM's over the last few days, telling me of the joy and pride of brides who've done it themselves, assuring me it can be done, and without a huge amount of stress. Everyone's experiences are different, and what might be a huge trauma for one person, is no sweat to another. I personally (not just online) know quite a few brides who've done their own, and did it quite well, and they didn't have the experience I have. Here in the south, most of us don't have the $10,000-20,000 budgets that seem to be prevalent elsewhere. We're used to doing it ourselves, and having potluck receptions, because the point of it all is to make the day a joyous occasion, and if we're worried about spending more on the wedding than we did on a car, then it wouldn't be joyful, now would it?

I'm a very low-stress person, myself. I'll say it again... the cake is the ONLY thing we're set on for this wedding. What we and our attendants wear, doesn't really matter... it will be what they find that looks good and is a reasonable price for them. What our guests wear, doesn't matter. The food that we serve will be whatever's on sale that week at the grocery store, or we can find a really good deal on somewhere. Things are not set in stone, nor will they be. (Although he seems to have his heart set now on a bouncy castle... sigh... MEN!)

We're just not that high-maintenance, and neither of us has a set idea of what 'must' happen for us to have a good day.

Other than the cake.

I can not pay someone to make the cake I want, and I will have the cake I want. Period. Besides which, I WANT to do this. It's not just a matter of cost, it's that I want to, and I know I can.

As for my friends knowing me... well, you'd think that. However, as I explained before, they're going on the behavior of other people, not on my specific past performance. It's a quirk of theirs... one I've learned to live with and laugh at on occasion.

Believe me, if this was something that shouldn't happen, my parents, my future in-laws, and my sweetie, all of whom have known me for many years, would be the first to counsel me not to do it. They are not doing so, nor have they tried, once, to do so, in the two years I've been talking about it. And to be honest, I think the only reason the friends in question have issues is because their usual gift to close friends getting married, is the cake. They have a relative who is a well-known professional, and gives my friends a good discount for them. So I'm taking away their usual gift, and I think that's throwing them for a loop, as well.

bottom line is, I AM doing this cake, and it's not something I'm going to budge on. The only thing that will keep me from doing so is a severed or broken hand, and we'll all hope that it doesn't come to that! Of course, at that point, there will be much more important issues...

And even if the cake looks like something the cat dragged in, as long as it's tasty, my friends and family will eat it. We are a food crowd!

I really appreciate all the helpful advice and support that you've all given me, though! It's been phenomenal and I feel very much loved, over all.

Being stressed is "for sure"! Make the layers ahead, tort and fill them, wrap them very, very well, and freeze them. You can make just about everything in advance. You still have to assemble and do all the finishing the day before and the day of the wedding. Have fun making the cake. Be sure we get photos.

Congratulations to you and your beau!

Okay, after pricing it out, based on several different websites, per serving, this is the cost of the cake, should someone else do it for me (not counting props, florals, boxes, set up and delivery, etc):

@$1280 This is for all buttercream, no fillings.

And this is the cost if I do it myself:
@$250, with all accessories, props, florals, boxes, etc.

Certainly can't beat the price, but oh, there's lots of work to be done.

LOL You got that right! As a matter of fact, I'm going to start the RI decorations today, so I know those are under way. I'll probably make wayyyy more than I need, but heck, I like having those on hand for last minute projects, anyhow, so it's not like they'll go to waste.

First of all... (((Hugs DoniB)))

I completely understand what you're going through. I got married two years ago and I did everything.... except my wedding cake Only because I didn't know how to. I'm pretty sure I would have if I knew how to decorate a cake. Go with what your heart is set on. Congratulations to your and your beau and God bless!!!