Originally Posted by nhbaker
I almost scared to reply to this with any kind of negativity given all the amazingly supportive husbands there seem to be out there but...
First let me say that I love my husband dearly and he's great in most aspects of our life together and with my caking he is supportive .... sort of...it's really confusing at times. One minute he's bragging me up and the next he makes me feel like I"m wasting my time. For example, I've done several cakes for clients of his who've all raved about my cakes to him and he loves to come home and tell me all about it and he seems so proud. He also promotes me to people all the time. He's also great about running to the store if need be or helping out with a delivery, etc. and on occasion, he's even surprised me by cleaning up the kitchen while I'm out making a delivery. However, he's also really good at making me feel guilty for doing it. He constantly reminds me that I'm not getting what I'm worth out of it and I spend too much time making each cake "perfect", and that it takes away from "our time" because, let's face it, cakes are usually a weekend gig. I do this basically as a hobby because there is just no way to make a decent wage off of caking in my area (unless I take on so many orders that I'm working round the clock) and thankfully my DH brings home the bacon so to speak so I'm not pressured to "make money". I keep my business separate from the home account and what profits I make are mine to keep and spend as I so wish so that's never an issue. But sometimes I feel like he just doesn't consider this a "real job". Take last week for instance. I spent the entire week working on a cake and six different baked goods for my parents 50th Anniversary party and his only comment "your crazy to do all this and for nothing". Seriously?? It's for my parents! I was exhausted by the end of the week and not once did I get sympathy or a "good job" out of it from him -- well, at least not until after all the raves about my desserts from all the party attendees. Like I said, confusing.
Spouses don't always 'get' each others' interests. My husband races one of his cars and is constantly fiddlying with various engine parts to try to optimise speeds, or researching racing methods. All that seems like a a complete waste of time to me, and I do get annoyed sometimes when he spends the weekend doing that instead of things as a family.
However, I recognise that he works all week and needs a hobby, like I do, and that although I don't understand the attraction, greasy engine bits are obviously fascinating to him.
Men sometimes don't quite get the aesthetics of pretty cakes and desserts, especially when they see how long it takes, and that it all gets eaten, anyway. For us, it's a matter of each allocating time for the other to do their hobby, and to understand when something that doesn't seem very important, is important to the other.