You know what? Just because they are family (or soon to be possibly if he doesn't bite the leash off his neck first) does NOT give the right to treat you or anyone else like shit. And you should not allow that stress in your life. Seriously, I had some huge BS thing with one of my sisters, she's Psycho sister. And I battled long and hard within myself to decide whether just to walk away or not, and I would have without a thought walked away, because NOBODY treats me that way. Well I have in the mean time talked to her, but the reason I didnt walk away was because I have a REALLY tight bond with her 2 young kids, and God knows I figured if I walked out of HER life she would use them (as she has done) as pawns and also tell them something like Aunty K doesnt love you guys anymore, if they ask 'why doesn't she come to see us anymore' NO basis in reality.
Sounds to me like this girl has a LOT of growing up to do. And she's disrespecting the whoel family,
and as entertaining as this all has been to read, I have to say quite frankly because I've faced this with family members of my own, you are enabling her crappy selfish mental behaviour if you even let her go this far.
Someone needs to say listen this will just NOT STAND. I am not doing your cake, I offered to do it and it was going to be free as our gift to your for your wedding (this can all be said nicely, I've had smiliar convos before and it works, write it down in letter form if you feel you can't keep even keel face to face, or try on the phone). However, I don't appreciate how disrespectful you are to me and my family, and so you will have to find someone else to put up with your stuff. (said with smile) and good luck and hope it all goes well.
Seriously, that sounds harsh but it's reality, and I'm telling you from very fresh experience- because I have 2 family members who have serious reality issues and there are other family members who enable them (long stories wont go into), and my twin sister and I are the only 2 who have confronted on this and put foot down. And I told Psycho sister's now ex hubby after he told me all the WHACKED Shit/games she pulled during their marriage, that as long as he was still letting her manipulative batting eyelashes work and hand over money (so for instance she could use it to pay for gas and hotel with her new boyfriend), that she was going to keep doing it and that he was enabling her. and that he had to stop
so quite simply, you have to put your foot down. It doesnt have to be nasty Jerry Springer hair pulling (on your part, god knows I can imagine her reaction but you just walk away from that). She'll never grow up if people keep jumping through her hoops. Be the one to tell her. You owe it to yourself and your level of sanity,
As I like to say, sorry I don't have room in my emotional storage space for treatment like that, from family or anyone else. From her perspective, she'll never grow up if people dont tell her 'this wont fly'
I really do sincerely hope you consider that, for her sake and mostly for your mental/emotional health, which should be number one
good luck and sorry for the long post LOL