I have been a stay at home mom for 8 years now. I am a mom of two (8 and 6) and have one more due in June. (hoping it's a boy hee hee) I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have taken a few odd jobs to help with the bills once and a while. But when I did I missed my girls so much it hurt. And daycare...man that was NEVER a thought. Ok I take that back. I was thinking of going back to work when my oldest was 2. Had the papers all filled out and she was registered and ready to go. The week before she was to start, that daycare was on the news. A 4 year old brought a gun in to daycare!!! I was so very scared, I cried for days. I couldn't put her into that. So hubby and I decided to not do the daycare thing. I thank him every day for allowing me to stay at home.

Mothers out there, you should be proud you stay home. You are giving you children the best thing in the world. Yourself!! Our children need us now, so that we can perpare them for thier and our future. Give them the morals, and the mind set of good up standing people.

If you haven't noticed, this is a very touchy subject for me. I feel VERY strong about this. My mother stayed home with us kids. So did her mother before her. It is what you do if you want your kids to grow up right. So I'll end this rant with, Thank mothers. Thank you for being a mother.

Many people don't realize that a SAHM is actually a harder job than going to work. It can also be more fullfilling BUT they forget that when you are home and that is your JOB you are ON 24/7. There is always more to do and it is hard to take a break.

I feel guilty when I try and do something I enjoy in my home because I feel I am neglecting the million things that need to get done. Now that I get paid occasionally to make cakes for people, I get a creative outlet that I feel good doing because someone is paying me to do it.

Also, I agree that no one will take better care of your children than you and I also feel that they need their mothers in the home. I believe that a breakdown of the family has occurred because mothers go out and work. I knwo in some families this is unavoidable but many people could live a bit more conservatively and make it work. Shame on society for making women feel like they are nothing if they stay at home!

I am blessed to stay at home and I have a college education have previously worked in corporate America - this is best for my family and that is my priority!

I raised 4 of my own and worked when needed to. Now I am a SAHGM as I am raising a grandson. I think raising children is the most important job there is! Thank you for the great links!

I get so irate with ignorant people. Here I go again ranting and raving!

My DH and I agreed long before we had kids even before we were married that we wanted me to stay home with the kids and run things.

When our first child was born, I was stuck or felt stuck at work and decided to stay for 1 year. The first 9 months, I worked from home 2 days and had friday's off. It was great. The last 3 months he went to daycare 4 days so I could finish off everything I wanted to and if I ever need a job in the future. I will not be ashamed of contacting them and asking if there are opening.

I have seen both sides, I have been a stay at home mom for 4 years now and when I finally quit many of my supporting friends and family said, you are leaving a 9-5 job for a 7/24 job. It's a lot of work. It's non-stop.

I have a friend who works outside the home and from looking at their kids you would never know she is not at home. There are ways to do it. It just takes a lot of work.

There are pro and con's on both sides.

My DH and I feel the pro's on the stay at home outweight the other.

I get to see my kids grow everyday. I know everything about them and I like it.

You get no financial gain from it other than saving money. But the rewards of guiding your children and seeing them develop into well adjusted, nice and good natured children is priceless. # 3 arriving soon.

Both our kids are in preschool and you see the difference between the kids where the parents parent and the ones that dont do it because they feel guilty about not being home.

When I tell my sons stop whatever or you will go for a time out, they do, often people are surprise, and ask how do you do that. I simply say .... I follow through! It's not easy so you have to make sure you can do what you say you will. Otherwise you get yourself in trouble. You can't say, you wont go here if you dont listen. Especially when you know you have to go no matter what, that just tells your kid, Mommy does not mean it. You simply confuse the poor child.

It takes time and it's all worth it. I love the sites you guys have mentioned about our worth for a parent at home.

I could go on, but I just wanted to say that for those of us who are SAHM'S we are often way undervallued by most of society. The only ones that understand have either been there or are our DH.

I also applaude the SAHD's I know quite a few, they might need a little more dissipline than us.... you know the whole being able to do 10 things at once is not so much second nature to them. But of all the kids I know that are with their dads, they love it. It's a lot more fun then with mom sometimes!

Just remember either way you do it, having kids is a lot of work and wether you have help or not in the home or out of the home, it's all worth it in the end.

I also just wanted to say to of the few people I have meet that gave me a hard time about being a SAHM, I have come to realized after talking to them, that they are too selfish to stay at home and care for their famillies.
( I am not talking about the mom's that work and would like to stay home. Or the ones that think and or know that SAHM's have a full time job.)

I am talking about the ones that think we sit at home and eat bonbon's all day. Because I think that is what they do when they take the day off and leave the kids in day-care just so they can take a break, even though they have a cleaning service in their house cleaning the house and doing the laundry!

Keep it up gals, we are doing good for us, our children and society as a whole!

Good Luck.

My dh will tell anyone that I work harder on any given day staying at home than he does going to work everyday! Gotta love a supportive hubby!

These posts give me the boost I need. I was feeling a little down about not working.

I've been a sahm for almost 13 yrs. now. My youngest is 9.

I don't hear about it from my MIL but one of her nieces once said she could never stand staying home with her kids because there's nothing to do all day.

I've been hearing alot lately about when I'm going to look for work from different people because my youngest will start kindergarten in 2008. We haven't made any firm decisions because there's still daycare after school and on breaks and then we have to worry about what happens when they get sick since they never get sick at the same time. Of course these dumb people are asking this knowing that we live in an area with a 60% or higher unemployment rate so whether I'll be able to find something is another question.

I think it is great that many women get to stay at home with thier children. I do believe that spending time and getting to really know your children are what helps them the most.

Like many of you have mentioned there are pros and cons to both sides. The only disagreement is the implication that those of us who do work outside the home are not able to raise children that are as well behaved, mannered and productive as those who have a stay at home mom.

I am a single mother and have had no financial support with my child since she was 8 months old. She is now 12. I have not only worked outside the home her entire life but also put myself through college at the same time and I dont feel that my daughter has suffered from it. My only option for staying at home was welfare and I would not be showing her anything by doing that. I am not saying one is better than the other.....I applaud those of you who have the patience and strengh to be there 24/7.

I just feel it is important to not discount the women, or thier children, who have no choice but to work to provide a financially stable home for thier kids. I just have to work a little harder to make sure my daughter knows I am there even when I am not.

A big congrats to all of you SAHM's! It's a lot of work. Family can be horrible and especially the In laws! They don't understand.

I get the oposite from my MIL and it annoyed me to no end that my DH (D doesn't stand for Dear in this case) didn't stand up for me.

I work full time, I also have a cake business that is getting busy right now. I am taking every order I can to make extra money to finish the basement for my cake space. I also tutor math once a week (3 kids). I get home and either bake, make flowers, meet with clients or answer e-mails/phone calls. I leave home at 6:45 and get home at 6pm. the commute is over an hour each way. On Tuesday's I go straight from my train to the tutoring, tutor 3 hours and than I get home after 9pm.

Just recently my MIL (read: monster in law) told me that it's MY JOB to make dinner for my DH every day and that she always did it. She never worked, took care of the house and kids and for many years now took care of just her husband. She goes to the mall almost every day and buys junk that's on sale and she tells me that's my job. I know it's hard work running a house but running a house + full time job + cakes + tutoring there is not enough time!

I've taken days off to run errands or to prepare for large parties and there is not enough hours in the day to do that let alone when you work full time.

My DH does the laundry, we have a cleaning lady (what I earn in tutoring every week we pay every two weeks).

I was so mad that she said that, it's my job, well how about my DH get off his Dass and cook while I'm swamped instead of watching every sports program on satelite.

She doesn't see that and I think the problem with some SAHM's is that they forget that the 10-11 hours that they can spend at their house the people that work full time don't have.

All power to you SAHM's and your supportive husbands! In a perfect world we would not have any horrible MIL's and SIL's! Next time they question why you can't get a job just tell them what's on your mind!

Sorry for venting, I get to go to my in laws on the weekend and I don't want to bite her head off!

I think the problem now-a-days is that women put pressure on women to pretty much be "Super Moms". They want you to work, take care of your homes, be slim, and a wonderfull hostess (now fill in all of the things that belong in those sub catagories). If you have the option to stay at home with your kids, then do it. I think that is great! Infact I have 2 friends that are stay at home moms and I totaly admire them for not putting themselves under stress trying to be queen bees. And hey, for those moms that want to work, more power to them!

I just did the Moms Salary survey & man...ONLY if it was real pay! Id certainly be a HAPPY camper! Thats really cool & I wish other people who work outside of the home would realize staying hom isnt all Peaches & Cream! For most anyways.... I will have to admit though, since weve moved into this place in Aug, I DONT do nearly of what I use to. This place just brings me down everyday, I think it is because I am sooo homesick for my family back in Texas & this isnt where I wanted to be any more. So ya, Ive been a SLACKER way to much! Ive got to get on the ball but it sure is hard. Anyone else ever get that way & what do you do to get out of it? I need help for sure...lol
Thanks again, this was really cute!

Missing family is hard, it can de-motivate you. Cheer up!

I have been on both sides of the fence. I worked straight through the births of our first 3 DDs, but now we have the 4th one, I decided I would stay home. I work much harder here than I ever did at work, thankfully my DH agrees. I don't know how I got everything done when I worked. I have a successful home based bakery and I do pretty well. My day starts about 6:30 am and sometimes does not end until midnight or later. I say whatever you want to do, you should be able to do it.

I'm a SAHM and just the other day went to visit my grandparents about 2 hours away. Instead of saying, "It's so great to see you. My grandfather said, 'It must be nice to be rich enough to drive around all day.'" I just ignored him. I sure wanted to speak my mind, but didn't out of respect. I let my DH now how I felt about that comment, though.

Thanks mbelgard!

I did tell my DH what I though and what a wimp he is when it comes to his mom. He doesn't care (usually) he makes himself something from M and M meatstore or a burger. I usually don't get a chance to eat dinner.

In laws can be such a disturbance. They should back off no matter what is decided. It's a decision between the husband and wife.

I heard that SAHM's are worth that much yesterday and when DH got home from sitting at a desk all day I asked for my paycheck. My father in law calls and always says "So, what are you doing?" Like I do nothing all day. One of my friends says "It must be rough having your husband make that much money so you can stay home." To tell the truth it is easier working outside of the house--there is no one there to mess it up and use all of the dishes!

By the way dh doesn't make that much money--we do what a lot of households with a parent staying home does--sacrifice!

One day my husband asked what I did all day, just for conversation. The next day he walked in and said okay I get it. I chose not to do any housework at all for the day to show him EXACTLY what I do all day while he is at work. At the time my boys were 3 and 4 and believe me I'm sure my hubby REALLY got it. He is much more appreciative of what I do around the house and as always he is very supportive of me.

If you were to ask me what the hardest thing I have done in my life it would be having to leave my children with a Baby Sitter. Even tho she was a wonderful person and treated my children as tho they were hers. It just about killed me to leave them.

The babysitter before that had a 10yr old son that put a knife to my 8 yr old daughter's throat. She told my SIL who was visiting from PA and the SIL called me home from work. They ended up spending the rest of the Summer with my SIL in PA. I couldn't trust anyone else at the time. I went weeks without seeing my kids.

I didn't have to work I was pressured my the times. The nice little house we lived in wasn't enough for my husband he wanted more. Don't get me wrong other than that he has always been the perfect husband.

The Mothers that have to work because they are a single parent I feel for you. You have the pressure of two parents to bare. There is not enough time in the day for you. Don't ever feel bad for doing what you have to do. I remember the things my Mother sacrificed being a single Mom.

mbe, I don't know if your nieces live at home or own their own. If they live at home I willing to bet their place is a train wreck. If they live at home I'm sure they do nothing to help out.

When you speak up when someone comments about you being a SAHM you are speaking up for all of the SAHMs. Remind them that may be what is wrong with the adults of today all the Mothers the ones that didn't have to, worked. I am guilty.

I feel for you, lynda-bob. I am also a SAHM. I made very good money before I had my son so when I decided not to go back to work after the end of my maternity leave my mother and stepfather were giving me so much trouble. Ironically my in-laws were very supportive, they were actually hoping that I'd stay home with Iain. My husband makes good money and I still do some computer work from home since I quit my job. We're quite comfortable on our incomes; yet my parents still advice me to go back to work so we can be rich. Each time she'd bring it up I'd gently let her know that my son means more to me than all the money in the world. She often said her friend's daughters go to work and leave their children at day care or with family so why can't I? I would remind her that some of those children came home using the f* word when they were only 3 and 4 and that Iain's level of intelligence is beyond your friend's grandkids. Lately my mother stopped bringing the subject up because she reallized how much Iain has benefited from my staying at home. There is no one in the world who can take care of your children better than you, and there is no one your children need more than you; You're doing the right thing so don't let anybody tell you otherwise. You're doing a 24/7 job so be proud!
I know it is very difficult for you being a single mom with 2 and I admire you for staying strong and doing the right thing for your little ones.

I started reading this thread, so happy at the amount I "should" be making. But then I had to stop and take care of my special needs son who split his lip open. I came back to finish reading, and realized "Wait! I'm not getting credit for being an ER tech?!" What a rip-off!!

Before we had kids, I always worked and didn't think I could handle staying at home all day, but now I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love learning about the world all over again, through the twins' eyes.

When they were first born, my dh and I made an "agreement" that he would take care of all the broken bones, blood and guts (I have a weak stomach for that stuff). And I would do sick days and diapers. I know, funny. Well, he has been deployed 21 out of their 31 months of life, and everything in his "department" has happened while he's been away. I told him the other day that when he gets back this time, I'm signing up to get a "vacation". He said "NO WAY!" I laughed.

Wow, wolfley, I feel for you. All that on your shoulders and worrying about your husband.

One of my friends, when asked what she was doing in life, instead of answering SAHM she always said: technician in essential services. When asked other questions about it she'd answer:" I'm a nurse, psychologist, educator, caterer, entertainer and so on.. isn't that essential?"
I always thought she was a smart woman!

Thanks for posting this, I'll bet this is based on only having 2 kids! What about all those moms that having more than 2 kids, I think they have more of a work load.

WOOO! This thread got long *quickly*!! We all have an opinion on this stuff! I have to give a huge "I AGREE" to everyone who said that neither choice is the 'right' choice. You have to do what works for you, and what your family can handle. If you are currently not doing the one you want, I give you a big hug and hope you can work it out!

It was never a question for me, I told DH when we got married that if we had kids I was staying home. I knew that I wasn't the type of person who could make that choice to be away from my kid(s) all day. I cry when someone mentions him going to school. (He's only 23 mos!) And just because he goes off to school doesn't mean I'll be beating the pavement for an office job! There are still plenty of things to be 'available' for, plus by then I hope to open my own shop! But my DH makes good money, and my cake business is doing pretty well, so we are making it fairly well. We have the essentials covered, and there are even some extras here and there, so I feel that I lived a blessed life. Yes, we all have bad days, and there is always *something else* that I want and can't have, but in my heart I know I am the luckiest woman alive!! I never forget that. To those of you who are struggling, I salute you for making it through. Sometimes it isn't easy, and some days are darker than others.

I appreciate everyone sharing their thoughts and opinions and keeping it friendly, as this can be a super sensitive subject. You guys rule!!

Love this thread. I am a stay at home grandma. So I want to share this with my son, whom I am taking care of his son. I am lucky knowing that my husband supports me in this. Keep this thread going. Way to go All moms.

My mom was one of the few who chose to stay at home when it was expected for all women to work and I'm eternally grateful for her choice. Even when I was in school and became an obnoxious teenager who didn't want to interact with my family, in my heart I was always so grateful to know there was always someone at home when/if I needed her.

I'm now a SAHM of 3 and there are many days where I think I'm going to go insane, but there is no way I could allow my kids to be raised by someone else or allow someone else to see their precious "firsts". It's meant a lot of sacrifices for our family, but it's so worth it. I always hate it when people ask if I work. I always just say, "Yes, I work very hard - I just don't get paid." I have a cousin who's a single mom and wants to be at home with her children so badly but can't. I really feel for all those in this situation and I admire those who have no other choice and still make it work.

I'm so grateful that my DH is so supportive of this - as are both our parents. Now I just need to get him away from the TV at night so he can keep the kids out of my hair when I'm making dinner! I brought it up with him once and he complained that he was tired from working all day and needed a break. To my credit, I did not bite his head off. I just gently reminded him that while he gets to come home from his job, I never get to come home from my job because my job IS my home and it doesn't end until I'm asleep - and somethimes not even then when the kids get up in the middle of the night. He shut up about it.