Ok- I have been working with a bride for about a year. We have sent 86 emails and a couple of faxes abpout her cake- which is not very complicated by the way. I am giving her a great deal because she is marrying a friend of my husband. She has changed the design two times and wants to change it a gain because of costs. Back in Septemeber she changed the design and was quoted $511 for: a 3 tier wedding cake and anniversary layer with mocha buttercream, vanilla buttercream, chocolate buttercream and raspberry buttercream, a monogram cake topper and very detailed scrollwork on each layer. ISN't THAT A DEAL?

She was under the impression that becuase buttercream is less expensive that I would not charge her for the scroll work. Now she wants to change the design and have another meeting and i don't even have a deposit! My husband owns a number of contracting/remodeling business, and he says that as soon as customers start being difficult- RUN! Because they will be difficult even when the job is finished and will probably not pay. He says to call three other bakeries and see if I can get her a cheaper price and politly say she shoudl choose one of them. What do you think?

sounds like a nightmare waiting to happen. Take your dh's advice and run lol. If you do decide to go thru with this I would get the final design on paper on a contract with a deposit no later than this week and make sure you get the balance before you actually start working on the cake. If she doesnt go for that then you'll really know you are in trouble and you should probably put a quick end to it. jmo

I think you husband is a very smart man. I would do what he suggests. It sound like she wants a champagne wedding on a beer budget.
RUN!!!

Since this post, I have been trying to find someone who can do the cake for $400 and I can't! what do I do? RUN?

Your hubby is right -- I had a woman like that (similar anyway ) and it was one thing after another. Soooo, I told her she needed to make up her mind on the design and make up her mind on her budget and she was welcome to shop my prices all over town and if she did decide to come back to me, I needed a solid contract in place WITH NONREFUNDABLE DEPOSIT or I would not be available to do the cake. I even gave her a "deadline" date. Low and behold, two months later she comes back to me (I know she shopped around because I was giving her a fabulous deal!!) and I'm doing the cake (complete with nonrefundable deposit! )

Either give her limited options like I did for this lady or run for the hills! Good luck and let us know what happens!

86 emails and a year invested already? I agree .... no matter what you do, she is going to find SOMETHING to complain about. If she mentions something about "buttercream being cheaper", feel free to agree with her ... and then remind her she is paying for your talent and design, not just for the ingredients.

Someone needs to gently point out to her that she's overthinking her cake. That's an awful lot of emails. If you're still going to do it, tell her this is the last meeting and decisions are final with deposit due.
Point out to her that first impulses are often best. (THen ask her about her flowers and "tsk" a bit - maybe you can slough her off on the flower folks and let her start obsessing with them instead of you lol.)

Exactly what bobwonderbuns just said - it is not your job to find her another baker! RUN NOW!

RUN, FORREST, RUN!!!!!!

I would tell her that you" REALLY NEED to have another personal meeting..... have your FINAL design ready for me, and we will sign the contract and I will take your NON-refundable deposit at that time".....

When I was working at a bakery, I had someone like that... she decided she couldn't afford the cake she REALLY wanted and asked if she could change the design.

I asked her what her budget was, and told her I would give her two options for that price. One was a smaller "fancy" cake (and a sheet cake to serve), the other was a larger, very simple cake (I chose the easiest design we did). The picked the large, easy design and was thrilled that I was working with her on it... trying to help her.

I think if you meet this woman half-way, you'd have a much easier time with her. Maybe she's too embarrassed to come right out and say she can't afford what you're charging... and maybe you can offer her something she can.

When is the wedding? I would get a deposit at the time of the order, say NO changes past the one month (of the wedding) mark and balance paid IN FULL at that time or no cake. She has a problem with that and cancels you keep the deposit.
I had this problem with my niece. I was doing a freebie wedding cake for her (in CA, and I live in Kansas) because my sister had offered to do it as her gift. Then when my sis got a divorce and had to go back to school so couldn't do it the niece called and asked me to do her cakes. Knowing it was to be a gift I never said anything about a price. That was my 1st mistake. She assured me she wanted something very plain and simple and sent me a pic of what she wanted. No problem, very pretty. THEN she kept sending me more pics, then this change then that. Finally I told my sister, her mom, that if she changed one more thing I'd quote her my per serving price. This was 3 weeks before the wedding, and I had a wedding cake to do the weekend before that. I attended that wedding and got in my car to drive to CA the next day to start on her cakes. Ridiculous!! THEN my niece didn't even thank me until she sent out her thank you's 3 mo later. I e-mailed her that that was the first anything she'd said to me about her cakes at all. She argued that she'd thanked me several times at the wedding and after, which she had NOT, and THEN had the nerve to tell me there were several times she thought about telling me to forget it becasue I made everything so much more difficult and she wasn't really happy with the cake. I wish now she had, then she could have paid for what she got.

Sorry this took off for so long. I'm stressed and it got me going. I like doing a little extras and I have done free cakes for people, just because I can and I feel good about doing it. But I won't be doing anymore free wedding cakes or big ones. I'm doing this because I enjoy it and have a talent, but I'm also doing it for the money too. I'm self-employed, it's not a big money maker I'm just in a position to be able to do what I want now.

I would run far away from this one...seems she may not be happy with whatever you do.

Good luck!



Wanda

Run like your hair is on fire. Get a deposit *now* or tell her you're releasing her date. And make sure the deposit is non-refundable! Make her sign a contract that she understands that and that there are no changes made one month prior to the wedding.

Good luck with this one. I know you're trying to be nice because this is someone your husband knows, but there are limits.

Deanna

I would set the lady down and tell her.

1. If there is a design change it will cost her $XXX.XX.
2. I would inform her of my price and also inform her that I had checked around the area for a cheaper price than I had quoted and was unable to find one.
3. I would also inform her that if she wanted me to work with her from here on in, she would have to pay the deposit for my services today, and go with my price and settle for the design she had already picked ,or pay
the design change fee.

4. I would stick to my guns about all this at this point .

I know it's easy for us to sit here and say "run" but you really summed it all up in your title "bridezilla". Sometimes we know in our gut not to do something but we get suckered in because we're trying to be nice or feel we "owe" it to someone to do it (because she is marrying a good friend of your husband).

Even your dh is suggesting trying to get out of it so you really don't owe her a thing. I think you know in your gut that this one will be a problem so I think you really do have to stick to your guns or get out now.

My dh is a salesman and one of the things he is fond of saying is "sometimes the best deal is the one you don't make". Can you say something gentle to her like "I don't seem to be able to offer you what you are looking for at the price you are willing to pay, perhaps it would be better if you looked elsewhere for your cake and we'll just part friends."

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Over eighty emails? Good grief she owes you $500 already just for your time! Don't waste anymore of your own precious time with her. Get a contract and deposit or cut ties.

OMG...SEND HER PACKING!!! (If this if how much thought she's putting into her cake can ya'll imagine the rest of the details!!??!!??)

86 Emails - good grief, when is the date? You already average over 12 emails per month. I don't know if I could keep up with her.

Friend or no friend, it is not worth it.........

"My thoughts: Why do all these brides think they are fairy princesses especially when the divorce rate is .38% in the U.S.A. We should teach our children to manage relationships not events."

Okay, I did it! I sent her and email saying that I want her to be happy and although I have tried, it is not reasonable to do a 4 tier cake for $400 including delivery, etc. She did tell me previously that she knows someone who can do it for $375, so I said go for it, even though I think she said that to get me to agree to that price as well. I bet she is freaking out right now!

Harrisonsmama - Good for you!
I just love seeing backbone on this site.

Good for you! I bet you are right in thinking that she just said $375 to try to get you to agree. Great decision on your part! I bet that feels good not to have to worry about this one anymore.

Actually, I AM FREAKING OUT! I can't wait to hear her response so I can sleep! And you know, I am generally so good at being a bitch naturally when someone is screwing me over, but wow- this sucks!

run

RUN like your life depended on it. Even if you come up with an idea you both agree on, she's going to find fault in it.

Run. She'll have you so stressed out, the cake won't be any fun.

there are no words to describe what i am feeling or thinking.....oh yes wait there is....EXHAUSTED!!! jeepers...there is so much drama here...we do this because we la la la love it.....but when someone sucks all the fun out......who wants to deal with that...if *edited* this person said she could find someone for cheaper.....then that should be final.....good bye crazy!!!!!! hahahahahhahaha good luck, i can't wait to hear the results!!!