What can I say different that everyone else has said. Nothing!
Maybe you should show your friend, better yet, her husband this web site and your forum!
It is very frustrating that non-bakers have no clue about the time and effort used for each and every cake we do. It's exhausting sometimes we know that, but we do it because we love it, and we should all be appreciated for it.
I just had a similar situation a couple of weeks ago. I spent 2 1/2 days making a goodbye cake for my boss at work. (I work in a hospital). In fact, I took off 1/2 day and was up the entire night before to finish it.
It was one of the best cakes I have ever done, a very detailed scenic, mountain cake. My boss loved it.
However, it was set in a back room, because there was no room for it with all the other pot luck food that was brought in.
It never got displayed out for people in the hospital to see, and some co-worker cut it in the back room, never cleaned the knife periodically when she was cutting it, so all the pieces looked like a glob of mess on each plate.
I was very upset when I saw that, (I mean no one was eating the cake because the pieces looked so unappetizing!)
The only thing that made me feel better, was the rehab
director came down to see my cake and was upset herself to see how it was cut and how the cake itself was out of general eyesight. She personally tossed out what was already cut, came and got me to cut up more pieces properly and made room on a table for others to see. It was only then that the cake started to go.
Of course, at the stand up meeting the following Monday, the director of my
departement thanked everyone for the food, clean-up and the card table that was brought in. No mention about the cake.
The boss I made the cake for wasn't there of course, because I know he would of thanked me, but I was still hurt by other's insensitivity for my hard work, time and creativity.
So much to the point, that that is the last cake I will do for work.
So you see, you are not over-reacting. We all understand how you feel, but at least time goes on and we get over it, plus we all learn our lessons.
We all give you a pat on the back for being such a nice person,
so don't feel bad.
Let us know how she replied to your e-mail