I am so stressed right now!!!! My father in law is coming home from Afghanistan to stay with us for a few weeks before returning home. My mother in law called and "told" me she had just gotten a train ticket and was coming too - I am sure everyone has their own in-law stories, so you probably can imagine the situation. She is pretty good about letting me be the kind of mom I am, but she has caused no end of problems within the family. My husband is SO stressed about her visiting that he is very testy with me. He has made plenty of comments about the house not being clean enough (i have two small kids) and my cakes taking up too much time and making too much of a mess. I know it's because he's worried about the visit, but I don't which of them I want to put in the oven more!! When I asked Mother in law how long she was staying, she wasn't sure, but this could easily be a two weeker!!!! I have a cake to do for a big baby shower (the shower, not the baby ) on the day she gets in. Fortunately, it will be done before she gets here, but I am hoping my stress doesn't impact the cake!!! Is it just me, or do your emotions get reflected in your work too? Maybe it will make me very energized. I can hope . Thanks for 'listening'. )

Every time I hear or read MIL stories I count my lucky stars that I have the greatest MIL and FIL on Earth! Hope they are the quickest 2 weeks of your life

Don't stress...you'll only hurt yourself, not her...take your time with the cake, do your best...and when you have time, after you've rested, then clean up..HA that'll show them!

Seriously though, don't let her get to u...it's not worth it

Personally I think it was very rude of her to just invite herself over. And as far as being stressed because your hubby thinks the house isn't clean enough then tell him to go clean it! It's his mom! You have enough to worry about with having 2 small children and a Baby Shower to prepare for.

Lazy_Susan

I feel your pain. My MIL has been "visiting" for over 2 months now. I just tell myself one day it may be me so I try to grin and bear it (and gripe at my husband behind closed doors). Good luck!

I feel your pain! My husband and I are the 'go to kids' for every gathering and holiday year round. It is always at our house. Everything. I don't really mind usually. But I do understand the pressure you must be under! You wish you just 'pause' the people at your house while you run around and do what you need to do! LOL

I know that stress affects your work. I'm like the other person who posted..I have great in-laws. They have been to visit once. That's not what makes them great but they are great people. I'm sorry about your situation. Buy a bottle of champagne(not to hit her with) and have a toast to her coming and just be okay with the fact that she is going to get on your nerves. It won't last forever(hopefully) and you can always vent to us. Orrrrrrrrrrr, you can begin working on a wedding cake that will take two weeks and give you very little(unfortunately) time to deal with her.

Just keep in the back of your mind that if you allow them to frustrate and upset you, they are controlling you. Don't give them that power. Just smile when you don't feel like it and thank your lucky stars that they live more than 3 miles away from you, unlike my MIL.

I do feel that stress affects my work. Even a bad mood cuts into the creativity. While you are preparing for the shower and the MIL list to so relaxing music (whatever works for you) and try to take a few minutes before you start to clear you head. Sounds a little new agie I guess, but calming down and focusing really does help me and I am not too new agie.

Good luck! Julia

I know exactly where you are coming from. I wish MY MIL and FIL were still alive. I'd take the stress ANY day of the week over not having them here. I know it's tough. I had a MIL who had VERY high expectations and my DH still likes to comment on my house not being as clean as hers was! LOL Good luck, you WILL get through this.

OMG I used to feel the same way.. Thinking, man she is gonna think I am a dirty woman.. When my kiddos were young.. I really think that is where my Dusting everyday issue comes in.. I was so afraid his family would show up without notice and walk into a dirty house.. But the fear has left me (took a few years), I look at it like this now " If they don't like it, tough S#$$!!!!!!!!!" They can walk right out that door with me yelling " DONT LET THE DOOR HIT YA, WHERE THE GOOD LORD SPLIT YA!"..
Dang, still do the dusting thing though!!!!!!!!!!

Just put her to work watching the kids! Tell her how stressed you've been and what a great help it will be to have her so you can get a few things done! (I have the Italian in-laws from Everybody Loves Raymond, and I've found that this method works for me!)

I don't know the dynamics of your marriage, so I won't suggest telling your husband off about the cleaning...but obviously he's a wreck too!!! Good luck with everything!

LMAO at tastycakes and briansbaker...you made me bust out loud laughing!!!

Oh, Don't get me wrong.. I love them, after 16yrs.. I learned to live with it.. But dang it, they were so hard and mean sometimes.. Now that I have grown up (married at 16) I am my own woman.. I love them (FIL past last year) god bless his soul.. But he too use to give me hell... It's just that sometimes you have to put your foot down.

I know exactly what you're saying...I didn't mean to imply otherwise. Sorry if I came off that way.

sorry to hear about your stress...just try to relax it will be over soon...
i have the "step MIL from h-e-double hockey sticks" and she lives only 3.2 miles from my house. Not to mention she's the world's biggest hypocondriact. just be lucky that yours can leave....i wanna move

I guess my situation is a rare one. My home is usually always clean and I make sure it is extra clean when my in laws come over because I want them to know what it feels like to step into a clean home. I swear they live in a trash heap!!! Beyond Pack Rats!!! Quite unbelievable actually.
My husband and I moved from Southern California up to Washington and they followed us. We told them they could stay with us a month or 2 until they bought a house. They ended up staying 11 months and only left when I sent them an email telling them that at the end of our lease we were moving to a one bedroom to save money!!! They bought a condemned home, tore it down, bought a little pick up truck with a tiny camper shell on the back, parked it in the drive way of the condemned home and lived in that for over a year!! Had to go to Wal*Mart just to go to the rest room! And they make fun of me for being from the south!!! LOL Calling me an inbreeder and a hick!!! What ever!

Lazy_Susan

Wow, Lazy_Susan, they lived with you and you had to e-mail them? That's something! I'm so sorry about your dirty in-laws, I wouldn't have visited them if I had to go to Wal-Mart to pee! IWWWWW.

Yes everyone has their stories....
I am currently dealing with having frequent visits from my MIL. She has Alzheimer's and we have her over frequently because she is so lonely. (is currently still living at home) When I am ready to pull my hair out I take a deep breath or just go sit in another room. I try not to say anything because my mother stayed with us for about 3 months when she had the same (tho advanced) disease and my husband NEVER said a word although it was a major disruption in our life. If she was still living today, I know he would do it all over again!
Hang in there!!

Darstus, I'm totally understand your situation, hopefully your cake obsession gives you something else to think about!

My MIL is a real piece of work. She only calls when she wants something. Which is often. Everytime the phone rings and her number shows up, I say "Well, what does she want this time?" And without fail she delivers. I would pick up and leave if she ever tried to stay with me for more than a day. I envy women with decent MILs and FILs. Hopefully those two weeks will fly by.

Hi dydemus,

as my MIL is living downstairs and even my SILs don´t have anymore contact with her, I really know how you are feeling. My mom always says to me: Smile and always remember to be kind, but in your thoughts you can say or do what ever you want . But don´t act like her or let her get yourself down as life is to short for it.
First enjoy doing the cake (remember to post a pic) and after she arrives you always now there is a place you can turn to and vent

Best wishes
Bettina

I feel for you, we live really close to the in-laws but at least that means they won't be staying overnight.
I don't dislike them but I can get sick of them.

with Lazy_Susan post and tastycakes respond you guys had me laughing so hard i could not breath and my kids were all over me asking me if i was ok.... lol

Don't fret...
I fill for ya...
I have one of those kind too...

I feel for you dydemus. I really do.

How do you all live with it. I fell like I'm going to go crazy all the time. When my husband and I fight it is only ever over one thing, the MIL. Its usually over us not visiting enough. I don't care if he visits her but I don't want to see her. He doesn't really want to see her either but he goes just to keep her quite for a little bit.

I always say how are you so different from your mother? His response I saw how people reacted towards and knew that if I did the exact oppiste of her I would be fine. Sometimes I think I can't have kids because it will only make it worse. I would never keep him from her, but I don't know about how I feel about my kid visiting her. We are trying to have a baby and I keep thinking there is no way I could ever let them in her house beacuse it is sooooo filthy. Honestly I've never seen anything like it in my life. One time when I was there her dog jumped on her lap and was so excited it peed on her and the recliner. Now animals have accidents I understand that, but she just got up and washed her hands and left to have dinner with her boyfriend. She didn't change her clothes or clean the chair. I know you probably think I'm joking but I'm not!!!!!!! Is scares me to think that one day this person could hold my baby (if I have one)!! I'm so afraid she'll make it ill. And as far as her coming to my house; well DH and I have lived together for 1.5 years and she has only come to visit once. She just drove 3.5 hours to and showed up on our doorstep and told us to cancel our plans because she was here. Needless to say that did not go over very well and she has not been invited back since (not my idea DH's).

Best of Luck to Everyone With MIL problems. If anyone ever finds a solution please let me know.

I just wanted to say good luck. I don't have a single coping tip to offer since I have yet to discover any myself. Take comfort in counting down the days until you are free.

My in-laws live about 40 minutes away, so there isn't an issue of having them around for weeks at a time, so I can't even imagine!!

Angie

ayost43,
You have got to be kidding me!!! A word of advice, if you get pregnant you and DH are going to have to discuss and set some ground rules!! I would have that conversation with him before baby comes. You two will have to be on the same page. Like I said, do it before the baby comes, support each other or that could be ugly!!! You'll be amazed once you have a child at how your willing to stick up for it, and its well being!!