Hey everyone
Husbands can be such jackasses sometimes , which is why I feel so blue.

Yesterday I went on a baking spree, testing out 6 different recipes, one which was a guava chiffon cake and another a champagne cake. I had been anxious to try these recipes and both turned out very nicely. Although champagne was a bit on the "interesting" side ( he he), but the guava cake came out like what I had envisioned, pink and fluffy with a delicate flavor. I had stayed up untill midnight baking cakes and was sooo happy with that one. I liked the both the texture and flavor.

Naturally, I went to the S.O.B for some constructive criticism. Here's what he said: " This one (champagne cake) tastes like that nasty, yeasty bread from Mexico (we're both latin) and that one (guava chiffon) tastes eggy, like fried eggs!!!" What really ticked me off is how he said it. He was laughing (not at me) but as though he expected me to laugh too. I had felt so proud and he shoots it down.

I went onto the bedroom and cried, cried, cried. I felt like just calling it quits. He came in (20 min.) later and like a true idiot asked "honey, what's wrong?)

Sorry so long. Just had to vent to people who love cake as much as me.
It can get very cold and lonely when no one you know shares your enthusiasm.

I understand what you are saying. They see things so different.

The only thing worse is having a spouse that doesn't care too much for sweets. The problem with using family and friends for your "guinea pigs" is that sometimes they are no help at all, telling you something tastes great, even if it isn't. Or else they tell you it could be better, when you think it's the best thing you've ever made. Family and friends aren't always impartial. You can't take their word for it.

I think its not even the fact he didn't like it, but the way he said it. Its one thing to not like the taste(which is his opinion, hey everyone can have one) but to be kind of obnoxious about it was out of line. As you had said, he didn't even realize that he had hurt your feelings, so as much as it hurt, I am sure he wasn't trying to upset you. Chalk it up to some people have no taste!

That reminds me of the age old question "Honey, do I look fat in this dress?" and hubby saying "why yes you do!" I don't know why we bother! Cheer up, if you liked them, then I'm sure they're great!

It's fine that he didn't like it, but the way he treated you was out of line.

It was also partially your fault for not speaking up and telling him what he said was very hurtful. Running in another room and crying solves nothing. Don't let people treat you like that.

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This does not sound good at all. It seems there is a lot more going on than just a cake recipe.

I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt your feelings, sometimes guys just say whatever comes to their head without thinking! He probably thinks he can say whatever to you without having to "edit" himself (which can be good!) Seriously though, unless he's some kind of "cake expert" I wouldn't take what he has to say as the final word. I'd just have some other people taste them as well to see what the consensus is! I don't know what it is about those husbands, but when I make something that mine doesn't like, it hurts my feelings. He doesn't even say anything bad, but I can see the look on his face (the one that he doesn't even know he's giving)....but then I get over it when I realize there's more for me!
Cheer up, sometimes it's good to just cry and get that out of your system!

I'm sure your hubby didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Just to keep the post on the light side, I'm assuming that when you said "I felt like just calling it quits" you were talking about cake baking .

hn87519,
I guess I made it sound as though I felt like calling it quits as far as my marriage is concerned! Woops. Don't get me wrong, I love my little jackass.

"It was also partially your fault for not speaking up and telling him what he said was very hurtful. Running in another room and crying solves nothing"

True, crying solves nothing, and I'm normally focus on growing from an experience like this rather than let it break me down. But everyone must make exeptions sometimes. I also admit I have the temperment of a matchstick so I'm not about to confront my husband while I'm angry, uless I want to raise some real hell. Make no mistake, I have no problem letting him know how bad he made me feel, it's just not wise while I'm fired up.

YumFrosting
He really is a picky eater, ESPECIALLY, when I want him to try something new! So I guess you guys are right, find someone with a more refined pallate.
Thanks, I feel better now, especially after that "do I look fat?" So funny.

sooo...what exactly stopped u from shoving the cake in his face??

lol

Because I'd then have to clean up the mess.

My hubby is a picky eater so when he says he doesn't like it, or gives that "face", I chalk it up to his uneducated pallate. Seems like a lot of us have a lot of hubbys in common.

But knowing that, it still hurts my feelings sometimes too.

Crying can help in a lot of ways. It can be a real release that lets you move on or calm down and confront the issue.

So, here is a big {{{hug}}}. Keep you chin up and keep baking.

paraphrase: and when he doesn't like it, it hurts my feelings.

well, remember, it hurts his feelings too when you don't like what he tries his best and most genuinely for you.

feels a rant coming on...so will go eat chocolate instead!

You know cybourg, he even admitted to me once that the reason he wont eat sushi is becuase I want him to. It's like he does this to push my buttons! But still, there is a proper/mature way to express your dislikes. I would expect his reaction from a 5 year old.

with a lot of guys, it seems, if it's not chocolate or yellow cake, they think it's weird. i was doing a french vanilla cake with apricot filling (not that odd) and asked my hubby if he'd like to try it. he made a face and acted like it was disgusting (without even trying it) then said, well maybe women would like it.

I did not know there were "women" cakes! LOL!! That is too funny!

...and Doug, it's not that that it hurts my feelings when he doesnt like my cakes. Hey, everyone has their own tastes, right?. I mean, I hate spice cake, no matter how good someone says it is. It's when he acts like an A-hole about it that makes my blood boil.
Pass the chocolate.

Smashcakes:
Apricot filling huh? Sounds so good. I've been looking for something apricot. Think you'd want to share a recipe????

It's the old addage-"it's not what you say, it's the way you say it"-it's easier to men to just speak out and not consider all the aspects of what they say-that's the testosterone in them-say then think-that's why they then ask you "what's wrong?"-I always feel like DH is stuck in moronmode when that happens. I sometimes make a cake and give it to neighbors rather than have him taste it-he asks why-I tell him I wanted an honest opinion and I really didn't think the flavor whatever would be something he would enjoy. So it doesn't wind up being "shoot the messenger not the message" situation. MEN-GOTTA LOVE THEM-there are times we wonder why huh??? Maybe you can find a neighbor who would appreciate a piece of cake to sample and provide an honest opinion to you! Sorry this is so long-I do feel for you. Oh yeah-WOMENS cakes are supposed to be the soft type cakes-like women's drinks-sweet, etc. Men's things are chocolate, straight liqour drinks, etc-YEAH RIGHT!

It is so funny how even though they like something, they wont eat it just to spite you!
I once fed him an eel roll but told him it was cooked salmon. He raved about how good it was and then I confessed what it really was. He never touched it again.

I so feel your pain! My husband doesn't like cake, sees no reason to decorate cakes, and feels that a nod in my general direction is sufficient enough to praise something I spent the better part of the day working on.

However, he is a beer-brewer and if I don't absolutely do a cartwheel everytime he brews a batch, he pouts for the better part of the evening.

I've learned to accept our differences and ask others for their opinions on my cakes. It's much more productive and it keeps us from getting divorced....for now.

Laneysmom - Sounds like my hubby!! He doesn't see why I go through the trouble of decorating cakes for fun. He thinks I'm wasting my time. And asking him to hold our 5 month old daughter or play with our 3 yr old so I can finish the last 5 minutes of icing.... WHOOO BOY does that ever open a can of worms!!

Oh well - I love doing it & I know he'll never be my biggest cheerleader so I just don't ask his opinion anymore! I think that may be your only solution SweetAsLemmons.

Dang,
Did I get the only sweetie pie? I know sometimes guys just don't "get it". But to let cha know that there is definetely light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. I have a hubby who is quite honest about my cooking (anything in general) When I first met him he had sworn off chinese food altogether, til I made him some gingered beef. Now his favorite place to eat is the local chinese place. I know he doesn't like me cookin the chinese for two reasons, one I leave a huge mess (chopping all those veggies, sheesh can be soo tiring lol) and two I only had a limited palette of stuff. O well.
But, he does try whatever I make and for the most part loves it (I experiment for most of my stuff and nothing tastes the same twice actually)
He has been totally supportive of the cake decorating. He bought me a ka and an airbrush and a kithen island so it can hold all my decorating stuff. And takes my cakes to work and plays me up like some cake goddess.(sheesh). Has the boys droolin all the time and waiting to see what he has in his lunch box now.
Of course he shares.
But hey, men can be soooo weird sometimes. My EX would say this if I asked if dinner was any good.."It's gone ain't it?" (one of the reasons he's an ex).

MEN!!! What more can I say?

Some men can be trained to voice their dislike appropriately.

My late father-in-law was extremely rude when he disliked something my mother-in-law made. Once, she made a tasty scallops dish she'd found in the newspaper. He went on and on about how horrible it was, and then he shredded the recipe.

In contrast, when my mom makes something my dad dislikes, Dad says, "Well, we tried it." (He means, "We tried it once, but there's no need to prepare it again because I don't like it.")

After I observed what my FIL said to my MIL, I told my husband that if he (husband) didn't want to get in more trouble than he knew how to handle, he'd better follow MY dad's example if I served something he didn't like. He agreed, and he's never made a rude remark about anything I've cooked or baked. (He has given me constructive criticism, but he did it politely.)

I'm sorry...sometimes men just don't get it. And I agree that it's okay not to like something, but say something supportive anyway, such as, "You know, I'm not a big fan, but it just might be because I personally don't like this flavor." Instead, it's more like, "This sucks."

Keep this in mind. There are billions of people out there. They all like different cakes. Most men are "meat and potatoes" kind of guys and like some previous posters pointed out, some men are set in their ways with certain foods. It's can be so frustrating introducing new things!!

I'm pretty lucky with my husband. He actually prefers I try different recipes, but even so, he's not my most reliable taste tester because he's too nice as I'm anxiously awating a verdict. Must be like staring into the barrel of a gun waiting with my finger on the trigger. Yes=she won't kill me. No=I'm a dead man.

Don't give up. The good news is that there are alot of people willing to taste your goodies!!
Good luck!
Angie

{{hugs}} to sweetaslemons, I know how you feel sometimes...
I think sometimes men may not try new things because they have grown up with bad cooking and will only eat what they know tastes good. But sometimes if they know a really good cook, they will try new things for that person. For instance, my MIL is not the greatest cook (she even admits it), so my FIL will not always eat what she makes or will only eat a little bit... she can make some scary creations, which I try a little when I eat dinner with them, just to be nice. But if I'm cooking, he is more willing to eat whatever it is I make, even when he does not like it (like spaghetti or cous cous)...
My own hubbie loves the cakes I make, but he doesn't always like the time involved with them (he feels like he is ignored when I do them ), but since I am getting faster at decorating them he does not complain as much anymore..