I've been friends with this girl from my work for a few years now, I taught her as a student and now she is working at my hospital... I had been off on disability leave because of an accident, and while I was away, she got married on a cruise (only family and very close friends were invited) and now that she's back from the wedding and honeymoon, she's having a wine and hors d'oeuvres reception for friends and acquaintances. When I came back to work last week, she asked me if I'd come to her reception, and also if I was still doing cakes as she wanted something for her reception.
Since I've been off work, I don't have a lot of money, so I told her that I'd do her cake as a gift... stupid stupid me! She seemed really gracious, had no ideas whatsoever what she wanted, but basically wanted something understated, considering they're already married and it's not a sit down reception. Originally, there were meant to be about 100 people there, but the number has grown to 140 - 150. In addition, every idea I come up with, she accepts, then comes back to me the next day and says that she wants to change it. I had suggested a cupcake tower, since there aren't going to be caterers to cut the cake. I was going to make cupcakes with little (handmade) chocolate seashells on top of each one and put it on a rented cupcake tower. In addition, I was going to make a small mini cake for the top so that they could have something to cut and save a top tier for the 1st anniversary. Now she thinks this idea is 'classless' and wants a 'real cake'. I said that I'd be more comfortable doing several smaller tiered cakes as opposed to one large cake, same reaction again... great idea at first and then "not weddingy enough".
ARRRRRGH! why is this girl looking the gift horse in the mouth?! I'm giving her what amounts to be about a 500$ gift!! How do I deal with this?!

I totally empathize with you. Offering cakes as gifts is such tricky business!

I hope this girl isn't going to end up wanting a wedding cake from you. Yikes!

as was talked about in another thread, and Duff (Ace of Cakes) uses.......

when a gift from me to you...

it's just that, a gift....

which means I choose what it will be NOT you!

I completely understand!!! Been there.

Gotta agree with duff & doug. If it was me, I would say " This is what I can do. if it's not to your liking I will be glad to do it for a charge of ?" or give her the name of another baker.

I'm confident most of us understand the situation you're in, and sympathise with you.
Doug's post is spot on. If you're giving a gift, you get to choose what it is. This lady is taking advantage of you and looking a gift horse in the mouth.
Perhaps you should gently remind her that you are providing her with a $500 gift here and if she isn't happy with what you are offering, then perhaps she should look elsewhere.
Oh, and I NEVER give cakes as gifts to anyone except very close friends and family. I often do them for the cost price but unless someone is paying for my time, I get to do what I want, they can't have their cake, eat it too, and expect not to pay for it

When I am willing to donate my work, I will either offer (a) the cake is their gift or (b) "you buy the stuff and I'll do the work".

I believe I saw in another thread the suggestion that the original cake offer was for 100. Any increase in headcount will be at the normal price.

So sorry to hear that you have to deal with a BRIDEZILLA. I am sure if you explain the situation and let her know that you really would like to give her the cake as a gift, not some extravagant center piece maybe she will understand. Something along the lines of I have a design that is perfect for you and I am sure you will absolutely love it. Then tell her that you would hate to charge her but anything over the agreed 100 will have to be paid for as you are again giving her a gift but dont want to be taken advantage of.

Just my opinion!

She went on a cruise and now wants you to give her a big expensive cake for free?
She needs a reality check. Did she help you out during your disability leave?

She needs to be told that this is not what was agreed to and more than you can afford.

I don't understand what the problem is...it's YOUR gift to HER.

why is she giving you grief and why are you letting her?

You are gracious enough to GIVE her close to 500 dollars worth of your time...

If you think that a cupcake tower is what you are comfortable with..then that's what she gets!

Good Grief...if she's not happy , then tell her that you can't accomodate her , don' t do any cake..and just give her a 50 dollar gift certificate!

Case closed!

For Goodness sake...WHY are the cakes we'd like to give free to people are the one's that stress out the most..lol

Not that I would recommend this, but one bride drove me so crazy the night before the day before (So that would be LATE (10pm to midnight) Thursday night for a Sat morning wedding) I left the cakes, unfrosted, wrapped in foil on her porch (she still wasn't back from her tanning apt......

Needless to say she was P.O'd..... oh well, I'd normally feel bad, but she had pushed me over the edge.

That bride must have been PISSED OFF so much that she was PISSED back ON! I can't believe you had the guts AlliceGop!

well, Alice has more nerve than most people I know... Bridezilla has met her match!!! It's nice that we get to work together.... I am too soft!!!

Wasn't my guts, I was really upset and crying and I called my pastors wife for support and she asked to talk to my husband and told him to tell me that I was FORBIDDEN to make the cake! Once the decision was made, no looking back.. and I'm not going to feel bad about being abused when I stand up for myself

When the lady called at 2am, my husband answered the phone and told her that she was NOT ALLOWED to talk to me, too bad! He told her he forbade me from making the cake, end of story. That really helped that I didn't have to actually face her. Guess I am a bit of a chicken, but I probably would still feel bad today if I had actually talked to her face to face. But since I was allowed the luxury of being emotionally detached from it, boy did it feel really really good to leave those cakes on her porch!

Alicegop
You go, girl!!!!!!

I have come to a lovely solution for this. For friends who aren'tclose enough that I'd want to do their entire cake as a gift I say that I charge £1 a person and they get to choose the colours - nothing else. So my friends get a cake for a third/quarter of what I'd normally charge, I get paid for ingredients and have fun making an exciting new design. If they're not happy with that - they can go elsewhere and I won't take offence. You're almost in an impossible position here as you've already said it will be your gift. Maybe just grit your teeth and go through with it - vowing never to make the 'I'll do it for free' offer again?

Emma, what a brilliant idea! I absolutely love it

I gotta go with everyone that posted on this one!

I just wouldn't do it....and that would be it. I'd tell her that most people don't get to choose what kind of gift that they are given, and the last time I checked there was no "I'm registered at "Cake's R Us" anywhere, obliging you to choose from a list of selected gifts. And if there was, you wouldn't be obligated to do that either! Please!!!

This bride needs to check herself and not assume that she has any say so whatsoever, save it be if YOU decided to ask her colors or something. I'd say if she is being such a pain, just drop the whole thing, and tell her that your time is worth more than the hassle she is giving you and it's just not worth it.

No money has changed hands and she's not a "real" friend to you, so I don't think you should feel bad about bagging the whole deal. It's her fault for being such a jerk about the nice thing you were trying to do for her.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

I agree with "mom," we can only get stepped on if we lie on the ground! If she is really your friend, just tell her she is driving you NUTS! Since this is a gift you will make something nice and you hope she likes it. If that isn't agreeable, let her know your feelings would not be hurt in the slightest if she went to a different bakery and you would be happy to give her a $20 gift from Target instead of the $500 gift of cake.......