All my family and close friends have been getting free cakes from me for the past year. At the end of 2005 I told them that this year I would be charging for all cakes. Well this past week my sister-in-law wanted a cake for her friends b-day for free I said no that the best I could do for her was to let her have it at cost. She got mad and said that I was heartless was I wrong?

ABSOLUTELY NOT

NO!!! Anyone who expects something for nothing is heartless. Tell her to go ask a bakery or her local grocery store for a free cake. The other option would be to make it herself--and for it to be free I hope her local market is willing to donate her supplies.

WOW- your SIL sounds harsh!
You are not wrong at all!! Charge her more

You are not wrong you at least need to recoupe the cost of your supplies. You could always ask her to give you something that she does, if she makes something, maybe she sews,crafts or cooks delicious meals, Anything for a payback of supplies

I agree with the group - it is crazy for her to expect it for free after you had already been generous by giving out free cakes, and let them know ahead of time you'd be charging. I'm new to cake decorating, and told my family the cakes/cookies would be free this year, but to expect to pay next year (once I'm better at it!)

Good for you!

Is it possible she does things for you and expects cake in return? Sometimes we can forget what others do for us!

No, you are not heartless. I might let it slide for a close family member, but for them to ask you to make a cake for a friend of theirs for free is taking advantage of your generosity. I am betting they wouldn't do it if they were in your shoes and would be insulted if you asked.
I would very politely yet firmly stick to your plan and charge them for your services, it is only fair to you and your family.
I wouldn't worry about your sil, she is only mad because she didn't get what she wanted and is lashing out at you.

Thank you to all sometimes these things just keep going and going in your head. I think she was just being very narrow minded. Jenn123 yes she has made things for me but not so many that I have to give her free cake all the time.

My rule, family or not, is if you ask me for a cake, you pay for it. If I offer to make a cake for a event then that is my gift.

I don't think you were being harsh. Don't let people take advantage of your time or skill. Explain to her that you just can't afford to make cakes for everyone for free. It costs you money in supplies, along with it costing you time with your family.

Very well put Texas S. Short and sweet!

Your sister in law or her friend should ATLEAST pay for the ingredients. Why should you be out of pocket for them?

I can't believe your sister-in-law would say that to you! That is so not nice to make YOU feel like the bad one! What does she think you are, a cake factory?!! Does she have any idea the work involved, like has she ever tried it herself or watched you from start to finish? Then maybe she'd understand! Don't let her get you down! She should be THRILLED to get the cake at cost! Plus, you made the announcement of how it is going to be this year.....Crazy lady. BTW, your stuff looks really good, I checked out your pictures!

that's horrible! Your not wrong at all. You put everything into a cake and then you eat the cost I think not!

People who are masters of getting what they want learn very quickly that the best way to get you to do their bidding is to make you to go on the defensive. She's making unreasonable demands but you're the one worrying about it. I wouldn't do another cake for the woman until she recognizes the effort and MONEY that goes into each work of art.

You are not wrong. Your time and work are worth a lot and you shouldn't let anyone make you think it isn't. I wouldn't do cakes for your own family if it causes problems. It is better to keep the peace and tell them to go to Sam's or Costco and get a cake.
Don't listen to her..
vicky

I have an aquaintance that is known for waiting until the last minute to do anything. One nite at a party, she stopped me to tell me she needed a cake for the next day. C'mon, I'm at a party. So I took out a slip of paper and wrote down the telephone number to the local Wal-mart and told her to call when she got home to leave the specifics.

Duh--she didn't know it was Wally World's telephone number. The next time I saw her she asked why I gave her that number. I politely told her there was no way I could have done a cake for her in that short of time but Wal-mart could have. And besides, I told her, I have a $25.00 last minute fee for anything ordered less than 24 hours.

Mac - love that reply!

I don't make free cakes for family or friends etiher, when they request them, certainly not if I'm not going to get a piece of the cake.

I have the same policy others here do. If they request one, they have to pay SOMETHING, unless it's a payback. If I volunteer before they ask, then it is my gift. I also don't go the "elaborate" route for free or small charge cakes.

My time is valuable.

I don't make free cakes for family or friends etiher, when they request them, certainly not if I'm not going to get a piece of the cake.

I have the same policy others here do. If they request one, they have to pay SOMETHING, unless it's a payback. If I volunteer before they ask, then it is my gift. I also don't go the "elaborate" route for free or small charge cakes.

My time is valuable.

Call me controversial but yes you are wrong. LOL! Please read---wrong because you should have asked your SIL how much of the cost you should have to pay for her friend's cake?

Seriously. This is a cake for HER friend and she is expecting you to not only make it but pay for all of the ingredients, take time away from your other interests and responsibilities for HER friend.

I would have agreed to do the cake, provided SIL bought the ingredients ( even if you had them ) and I would have asked her to "Sit" with me and assist in the preparation. It's so easy for people to ask for cakes because they have no idea how much time and money go into making them. I would have given SIL a serious look at what she was asking, then tallied all the reciepts and shown her examples of previous cakes and their cost. Then ask her if she still thinks it should be free.

So to clarify--I was goofing on you being wrong. You aren't at all. Your SIL just doesn't understand that this is a lot of work and expense.

I think you should give her a quote. Then hand her a list of all the ingredients with the brands you use listed (Icing colors and all) and say "Go to the store, add up how much it would cost for everything and then let me know". You should probably also mention that you feel offended that she thinks so little of you that she thinks your time is worth nothing.

Some people think that world owes them everything. Those are usually the people that need to give the most.

I guess I have to concure with everyone else. When SIL calls and asks me to make a cake for HER friend and expect it for free, then SIL has some serious thinking to do about her relationship with you. I'm sure her friend is very important to her, but what about family harmony? If you did a free cake for her, wouldn't the rest of the family expect free cakes because of that one free cake you made for SIL? Besides, it isn't as if it were for one of her children, for heaven's sake!

I have a friend who was always volunteering me to make cakes for people who would otherwise not be able to have a cake (like for kids whose parents have little to no money to spend on something that is not absolutely necessary), which was no big deal until she gave my number to someone who didn't know me and told me that my friend told her to call. I finally had to put my foot down with her and tell her that if she wanted to pay for the cost of the supplies I would put in the labor. Needless to say, I haven't been volunteered lately.

Stand your ground and don't budge!!

[quote="TexasSugar"]My rule, family or not, is if you ask me for a cake, you pay for it. If I offer to make a cake for a event then that is my gift.

Only one that gets a free cake from me is my mother to give to her close lady friends in her little group...thank goodness it's not to often

I agree 100% My sister asked me to make a baby shower cake for a friend of hers. It was one of my first ones, and she gave me MORE than I asked. I told her to take it back, but she refused. She said it was a homemade cake that I put alot of thought, time and effort into. she couldn't get that anywhere else!! She pays me for all cakes that she orders.

I think your sister in law acted bad, and nooo you don't have to make a cake for her or anyone for free anymore... if she doesn't like it she should buy a box mix and make it herself to save money or buy it at a bakery and see what it really would cost. She took advantage of you given out freebies at your expense and now that you charge is just acting out.
What a bummer!

Hope everyone helps out on your new rules, a must for you if it is not a personal gift from you or your family.

Diane

Nervy SIL!! Especially since it was for a friend of hers? Tell her if she wants that, that your new name is Miss Bakery and you'll have to charge!

Your sister in law is the one who is heartless, not you.
She's being heartless by not considering the time and money you will have to spend, and for even expecting you to do that.
Sounds like a bit of what I call "princess mentality".

Hang in there, family can be some of the worst customers!!