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Squished my cake, but wanted to squish my husband... - Page 2

post #16 of 71
3/4/07 at 7:27am
Bethroze and Kms your cakes are beautiful!!!
That said:

Although my husband has never said im a bad housekeeper i know its not to his standard..so when he starts fussing..i let him go at it

if the lawn needs mowing..im not doing it...that's his responsiblity if we get an HOA fine well that's on him..

i give him a gentle reminder if it needs mowing but not more than that

when we had our first child he never understood why i was so tired and cranky.. he got laid off a few month slater and i told him, "you are in charge of the baby full time." ill do the cooking and cleaning..but you are going to get up every two hours for her feedings.

well, after four days he understood why i was so tired and thats that he only took care of the baby! hehehehehe
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post #17 of 71
3/4/07 at 7:30am
Amazing RisqueBusiness! Good for you!
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post #18 of 71
3/4/07 at 7:34am
Thanks Onceuponacake.....My DH gets it eventually, as for today...I'm sure he will wake up later and apologize and then insist that I go sign up for the Gumpaste/Fondant class at Michael's that I've been dying to take. He just loses his mind sometimes and forgets what all I do for him and his kids. I say "his" kids because they are...I'm the step mom. Thankfully only one lives with us right now and he is a handful!!
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post #19 of 71
3/4/07 at 7:38am
"What Did You Do All Day?"

A man came home from work and found his three
children outside, still in their pajamas
playing in the mud, with empty
food boxes and wrappers
strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was
the front door to the house
and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding
into the entry, he found
an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked
over, and the throw rug was
wadded against one wall.

In the front room the T.V. was loudly blarring a
cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys
and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink,
breakfast food was spilled on the
counter, the fridge door was opened wide,
dog food was spilled on the floor,
a broken glass lay under the table, and a
small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over
toys and more piles of clothes
looking for his wife. He was worried
she might be ill, or that
something serious had happened.

He was met by a small trickle of water as it
made its way out the bathroom door.

As he peered inside he found wet towels,
scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor.
Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste
had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife
still curled up in the bed. In her pajamas, reading a novel.
She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked,
"What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know everyday when
you come home from work and ask me what I did all day,
well, today I didn't do it!"
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post #20 of 71
3/4/07 at 7:46am
Angelcake, as the mother of 5, this tale has always been one of my favorites! icon_lol.gif
Skidoosh...
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Skidoosh...
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post #21 of 71
3/4/07 at 7:48am
Good one Angelcake!!!
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post #22 of 71
3/4/07 at 8:01am
Sounds like another episode of Wife Swap coming up. I am glad I don't have to deal with things like that because I know I would be on Court TV right now.....I hope things get better for you.
Anybody with artistic ability can make a cake look beautiful, but it takes someone with the heart and soul of a "true baker" to get in the kitchen, bake from scratch, and make that cake taste good.
~~~~Deeva~~~~
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Anybody with artistic ability can make a cake look beautiful, but it takes someone with the heart and soul of a "true baker" to get in the kitchen, bake from scratch, and make that cake taste good.
~~~~Deeva~~~~
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post #23 of 71
3/4/07 at 8:01am
I would quit doing everything around the house for a couple of days. The Dumbass husband would really get a sense of what you really do everyday. Geesh, men are totally clueless as they are happy living in their own filth!!!
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post #24 of 71
3/4/07 at 8:24am
There being two sides to every story - I won't take sides on this, nor insult someone in a public forum who can't defend themselves (he doesn't come to CC, does he?).

Personally, I think that you mowing the lawn when you had "your" own chores to do was a bit of a passive-aggressive move... instead of focusing on what you needed to do, you were more concerned about what your husband was doing.

By mowing the lawn, in essence you were sending him the message that HE was a disappointment in his duties. He became defensive and insulted back.

Childish on both parts - and I think you both need to kiss and make up. icon_biggrin.gif

(I speak from experience - my ex and I played that game for 12 years)
PSA: There are laws that regulate the sale of food items - these laws are different in each state/county. Please familiarize yourself with your local laws before selling your amazing baked goods.
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PSA: There are laws that regulate the sale of food items - these laws are different in each state/county. Please familiarize yourself with your local laws before selling your amazing baked goods.
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post #25 of 71
3/4/07 at 9:21am
Just wanted to send you a hug.

My husband bless his heart, learned the hard way himself. When we had our second child I was already back in the work force. His schedule was such that he had 3 days off and 24 hours on. We decided between us that I would keep working and to save money he would watch the 3 year old and the baby on his days off. (we didn't want to do daycare)

And you know what...he did for several years and he spent time with his kids that most dad's aren't able to do. (but it nearly ruined his health he was so tired all the time)

It's so funny now because he totally gets how hard it is to be a stay at home mom/dad. He would watch the kids and do dishes but didn't really clean, vacuume or pick up toys or anything else. But we were ok with that. Although when it was my turn when he worked and I was at home I managed to get it all done. Must be that extra gene that women have...the mommy gene.

Hugs to you,
Amy in Alaska
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Amy in Alaska
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post #26 of 71
3/4/07 at 10:22am
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrandiBakes

There being two sides to every story - I won't take sides on this, nor insult someone in a public forum who can't defend themselves (he doesn't come to CC, does he?).

Personally, I think that you mowing the lawn when you had "your" own chores to do was a bit of a passive-aggressive move... instead of focusing on what you needed to do, you were more concerned about what your husband was doing.

By mowing the lawn, in essence you were sending him the message that HE was a disappointment in his duties. He became defensive and insulted back.

Childish on both parts - and I think you both need to kiss and make up. icon_biggrin.gif

(I speak from experience - my ex and I played that game for 12 years)




Saying, "and you better learn quickly" is a threat, whether empty or not, I have been emotionally abused so I recognize these signs, and I even showed this thread to my husband who agreed it wasn't okay. She also said this wasn't the first time, "kissing and making up" would be a band-aid solution for a deeper problem then her just mowing the lawn. (and how dare she mow the lawn when she wanted to get out of the house!!! icon_confused.gif ) Sorry, that post really bothered me and just feel its irresponsible putting blame on someone who could be in a situation that is damaging her mental health.
My Christmas Angels

Dad

Aug. 5, 1953 - Dec. 24 2005

Grandma

Jan. 7, 1915 - Dec. 29 2005


~James: my husband, my friend, my official taste tester~

www.CakesCanada.com
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My Christmas Angels

Dad

Aug. 5, 1953 - Dec. 24 2005

Grandma

Jan. 7, 1915 - Dec. 29 2005


~James: my husband, my friend, my official taste tester~

www.CakesCanada.com
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post #27 of 71
3/4/07 at 10:48am
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone, and believe me, I know that mowing the lawn was a passive aggresive way to show my husband he needed to get off his butt. Beleive me I regret doing it!!! But, our kids were playing in the yard with almost knee high grass in some places and we live in a somewhat nice neighborhood. I am embarrassed by the way the outside looks, and he is worried about the inside. Wouldn't it be nice to switch, but as he likes to repeat, "I work hard all day at the office!!! I shouldn't have to come home to household chores."

So, after he got an hour after me, he sat at the computer, went back to bed for a nap, came out and watched tv, went clothes shopping, and picked up the kids from his mothers, sat down again in front of the tv. I just had to get on that mower. I had asked once if he had plans for the day. His answer was, "Yes I do, or were you just wanting to be sarcastic and not have and answer?" It has really gotten to the point where anything I say is wrong and my "looks" or expressions are quite gestures of hostility. He tells me I freak out, or yell, when I don't even raise my voice because the kids are in the house.

He is the most passive aggressive person I have ever met, I believe it is rubbing off on me. I did tell him the reason he got so mad at me for doing "HIS" job, was that he felt guilty. So there goes the house cleaning argument again. It is the only one he has apparently. And when he starts asking when was the last time you did this, or that, it is almost funny to see his expression when I say yesterday or two days ago. He doesn't even notice when I do these things anyway.

I really thought I had something with FLYLADY, but I have only been able to coast around on the runway istead of taking off and flying. He even threw my weekly schedule up to me last night and told me if I could keep up with that like I was suppose to, I wouldn't have to kill myself on the weekends. I quickly ripped the schedule down and tore it up.

Oh, there is so much more.....
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post #28 of 71
3/4/07 at 11:10am
Oh, girl do I feel your pain!! I have a full time job, plus working overtime and my cake business for family keeps me pretty busy. plus the fact that DD is now on her school volleyball team and has practice or games six days a week. I have a better half who does nothing but run the roads to help his ex-wife, his parents, anyone else except keeping his butt around here to give me a hand- I have a medical condition that requires chemotherapy every eight weeks to keep in check and am constantly fighting fatigue. I wish you luck in your endevors, DO NOT GIVE UP WHAT YOU LOVE FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S SELFISHNESS!!! You have a right to have something in your life that is just for you and makes you happy!! Hugs to you!! icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
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post #29 of 71
3/4/07 at 11:17am
It's possible that little things fester between two people who truly love each other. I know there are always points when you think you want to kill someone - and sometimes it takes a third party's intervention to make you see that you both share in the blame.

I wasn't trying to insult you - I was trying to point out that there are two sides, and maybe he feels unappreciated for what HE does (or even thinks he does. lol). You never know until you talk it out... either between the two of you, or with a counselor.

I really hope you get things worked out. icon_smile.gif

Sorry I butted in here, but it really upset me that everyone was bashing on someone whose side isn't even represented here. How would we all feel if everytime we got in an argument with our husband, he ran to the internet to bash us (and gained support from those telling him what a b*tch he was married to)?

Just something to think about....
PSA: There are laws that regulate the sale of food items - these laws are different in each state/county. Please familiarize yourself with your local laws before selling your amazing baked goods.
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PSA: There are laws that regulate the sale of food items - these laws are different in each state/county. Please familiarize yourself with your local laws before selling your amazing baked goods.
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post #30 of 71
3/4/07 at 11:58am
Ok here is my input.
I learned several years ago with my husband that I can't be responsible for his actions or lack of.. I can only be responsible for me. If i spend time worrying about my husband getting things done, then my job falls by the way side, it is wasted energy. Several years ago after a lot of counseling (due to heavy drinking) I learned several important things, but these 3 stick with me all the time. I can not take other peoples inventory, I have to take ownership in my role in the situation/relationship and that expectations are pre-meditated resentments. I tried the whole going on strike thing and it really doesn't matter to him because in his mind it's not his responsibilty and he has other responsiblities. I say talk it out either with each other or with a counselor and maybe seeing a counselor on your own with help as well. HTH
Cathy

Live,Love,Laugh
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Cathy

Live,Love,Laugh
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