Cakemaker - actually, you did not mention that Lemongello was his last name. I'll give you Female from Cagney and Lacey, but that's not real life. And yes, the stories quoted here about the twins Lemonjello and Orangejello and the baby name Female or Nosmo King are just that...STORIES. However, Nosmo King is real, but not real in the sense that his parents were ignoran and named him that after seeing a No Smoking sign, as most of these stories depict. In this case, an actor picked this name as his stage name. See the difference?
Everyone has heard of someone who knew a second cousin's best friend's wife who worked at a hospital where a baby was named Female (pronounced fa-MAL-lay). But did it ever really happen?
What about the famous e-mail story of the twins named Lemonjello and Orangejello because their mother craved Jell-O in the hospital? Was it true or just urban legend?
While they are certainly interesting and sometimes racially provocative stories, these are nothing more than urban legend. The stories were just that- stories.
My source is in my previous post. I'm not saying that someone out there isn't named one of these silly names, but the stories posted here are the same stories that have been debunked, which by the way have been around for at least a hundred years. Which came first, the chicken or the egg. As like this, most stories came before someone named their kid Vagina or Female. Apparently they liked the story enough to name their kid after it. I just don't get it.
And I'm certainly not saying that all funny/disturbing names aren't real - just a few of the stories that were mentioned here. One of my customer's name is Jack Frost.
I mentioned this before, but again there IS a Lemonjello and Orangejello--my husband's friend taught them in school in NY several years ago. Those two names are not stories or urband legend. In addition, those names are talked about in the Freakonomics book by Stephen Dubner and Steven Levitt.
So sidebar!
Kimmypooh, is this your first trip to Puerto Rico?
Yes it is. we'll be leaving from there for a 7 night cruise. Have you been there? I am excited and scared at the same time as this is the first vacation we've been on with our 3 year old. We have a balcony room so I'm freakin out about her trying to get out when we are sleeping......so I bought door alarms and some other child safety stuff. DH thinks I'm loony.
my husband was a vendor at a large trading show for the food service business. one lady came by and her name tag had her name on it...
"lixx dixx"
my husband said "that's great...nice to see someone with a sense of humor"...she looked at him like he was an idiot.
i've had several people ask me if my name, starla, is a stage name, or if i'm a stripper....ummm, what?
speaking of names lol.. i know a cousin of my husband's , well her husband (make sense yet? lol) is named Rick Roy Rick and he's an airline captain lol.. can you imagine how it sounds when he introduces himself before each flight?
"good afternoon folks this is your captain Rick Rick speaking.."
course i envision Ranger Rick when he says this lol
Thanks everyone for changing the subject.
Kimmypooh: My husband was born and raised in PR as was my mother. I go back to visit my in-laws and family at least once a year. Please do yourself and your family a favor and explore areas other than Old San Juan and San Juan (if you can). Don't be afraid to eat in what may look like a "dive" because they'll serve you authentic Puerto Rican food at a fair price, not some froo-froo tourist food that has been marked up. And if you want a really awesome experience start teaching yourself basic spanish phrases. In all of the countries I've visited, the locals have always appreciated my attempts at speaking to them in their native language.
Don't let your hubby make you feel crazy. We were vacationing in a ski resort in Germany during Thanksgiving of '07 and we were concerned that the door was too easy to open, we voiced our concerns to the concierge who said there was nothing they could do about it. We locked it and went to bed and my daughter woke up my hubby the next day and said, "Papa, where's Sammy?" our two year old had crawled out of his crib, opened the LOCKED door and escaped! We had no clue where he was so of course being a first time mom, I'm freaking out trying to figure out which way I should go to look for him and thinking the worst. My hubby called the concierge who said, "Oh, he's down here. We saw him roaming the halls on the camera at about 6:30 am and went up and got him". IT WAS 7:45! I went down there in flames, "Why didn't you bother to look and see if there was a door open on the floor? Why didn't you make an announcement over the PA? Why didn't you check to see who had children this age that were staying on this floor?"
"Oh, well, we didn't think of that. Tee-hee, sorry! But he's okay"
As much as I try to be a good Christian woman and an example to my babies, I almost jumped over the counter on her...
I took my elderly parents Christmas shopping at a major outlet mall years ago. We would hop back in my car every so often to unload packages and move to another group of stores. We were almost finished shopping for the day and headed back to the car to unload packages again when I discovered that I didn't have my car keys.
I walked my parents to a store where they could sit while I back-tracked to the stores we had just visited. After 5 stores I finally found my keys at a candy store. I asked the clerk if someone had turned them in. She said, "Oh, no . . . I saw that you left them on the counter but I had chocolate on my hands." 
I stood there for a second then asked how chocolate on her hands effected her ability to open her mouth and tell me that I was leaving my keys behind. Of course she had no answer.
I took my elderly parents Christmas shopping at a major outlet mall years ago. We would hop back in my car every so often to unload packages and move to another group of stores. We were almost finished shopping for the day and headed back to the car to unload packages again when I discovered that I didn't have my car keys.
I walked my parents to a store where they could sit while I back-tracked to the stores we had just visited. After 5 stores I finally found my keys at a candy store. I asked the clerk if someone had turned them in. She said, "Oh, no . . . I saw that you left them on the counter but I had chocolate on my hands."
I stood there for a second then asked how chocolate on her hands effected her ability to open her mouth and tell me that I was leaving my keys behind. Of course she had no answer.
Maybe she talks with her hands?
Names..Names...Everyone wants to be original. I used to work at an emergency room.
Lady gives her daughters name and pronounces Va..gina. Spells it Vagina. Imagine controlling that laughter for a minute while she is looking at you.
I remember a Paul Harvey story about a woman who named her twins Syphillis and Gonorhea. (You gotta believe she hated her kids!)
My husband's favorite is the name of the bank teller where we do business. Her name is LaTrina. Sound it out. Think of the bathrooms at camp...latrines.
When I was doing IT work, we gave all the user's names that were their first initial and last name. For instance, if you name was tom jones, your user id would be tjones. I had a user whos name was Steve Hitte. I hated it when he called for his password reset and we had to ask him his user id...I use to curse whoever was admin at the time he was hired, as I would have put an x in there or something.
TITA9499--I just noticed that our bdays are 3 days apart. Mine is the 16th.
I worked in a discount store and one morning, I was standing there in my little vest and name tag and the whole thing when a women walked up and very politely said " do you work here". I said no mam I don't and so help me she said " oh thank you " and walked off. I just stood there shaking my head.
for all you who read the first few pages of this thread....there are some schools that still teach culinary arts...some of us old teachers are still holding on...we actually teach measuring correctly, equivolents ( 3 t.= 1 T...16T in a cup....8 oz = 1c.....16 0z.=1 lb etc)....we even teach proper baking and cooking techniques and terms (emulsification, clarify, reduce, etc)....wow....they call us Work and Family now not home economics....I figure when I retire they may end the program at my school....but i'm not leaving soon...been there 29 years...feels like home....Oh and by the way every year I have 12-15 girls who leave with cake decorating skills including buttercream, fondant, flowers and last year they made three wedding cakes for a mock wedding that was held at school....if you had a good teacher, look them up and thank them..as a teacher its nice to hear when you have been successful...I know i have had three students go on to become work and family teachers and several who have gone on to receive culinary degrees....there are still some good teachers in the public school system.
My sister went to school with a girl named Candy Fudge. My ex-husband used to work with a guy named Dick Suckey. (I sure would go by Richard, if that was my name! 
)
...we actually teach measuring correctly, equivolents ( 3 t.= 1 T...16T in a cup....8 oz = 1c.....16 0z.=1 lb etc)....
I gave a cake decorating demo last year in one of these classes. I knew the teacher always put these equivalents at the bottom of her tests for extra credit. So during my demo, I asked them, "If a recipe calls for 2 tsp of something and we triple the recipe, how much will we use?" A number of kids yelled out 6 tsp. The look of shock on their face was priceless when I said, "WRONG!"
I explained, "6 tsp is 2 Tbsp. When you work for me, I'm not paying you to scoop out something six times, when you can do it in 2 scoops. Time is money in my shop. You know when your teacher puts those equivalents at the bottom of tests? She's not doing it to justify HER job ... she's doing it to justify YOUR job."
And then just tonight ..... my daughter just got home from her very first football game. The group of kids she was with had a big laugh when she asked, "How many quarters in a game?"
Frequent Member
Joined: May 28, 2006
Posts: 335
Location: Henderson, KY
Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 2:06 am
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I don't have a cake story, but I do work as a secretary at a Hospice, which takes care of terminally ill patients who have 6 months or less to live.
Well, I get a phone call about once a week from the same guy....he always says "what!?! This isn't Pizza Hut? I dialed their number!" And when I try to tell him our number he always says "Are you prank calling me? I want a large pepperoni, thin crust." Am I calling HIM? So I say, "Sure, we will send that to you in 30 minutes or less or its free" and hang up. Serves him right.
Then, there is the same salesguy that calls 3 or 4 times a day, every day for weeks at a time until HE catches on. He refuses to state his name or his company name, but when I answer the phone, he says he needs to talk to us about our 'requested information' about our copy machine, and that I need to tell him our model number. So, when I ask him if we have a contract with his company, he usually hangs up on me. Well, I was feeling mean (because I really, really enjoy people hanging up on me) so I told him our model number was RUN2ME2. Next time he called I gave him model number DUMB1RU. Both times he asked me for the brand because he couldn't find either number in his book. The last time I left him on hold for over 20 minutes before he finally hung up.
Then, my favorite....is the lady that called asking if she could talk to her parole officer. I said, "Um, this is a Hospice". She said "Look lady, I need to speak to her now or I'm gonna get in TROUBLE." Ok, so I explained again that I don't know who her parole officer is, nor do I have her phone number, and I do not know where she lives. We deal with DYING people. So she tells me the parole officer's name and asks if I can look her up in the phone book. So, being the kind person I can be, attempted to look it up for her, but she was unlisted (smart woman). So I tell her and she yells into the phone "Well what good are you then!" I had to laugh later that day when I saw a cop car go by our office......I could only think maybe they picked up my little friend and took her directly to her parole officer. hahahaha
My old phone number was just one number different than the pharmacy...some elderly lady kept calling asking if her husbands viagra was ready to be picked up yet. and one guy called about his girlfriend being on monistat and what should he use on his self. He even gave me her name...
Okay, seriously DO NOT LAUGH at me!
My co-worker and I were talking one day and I think someone on her team was traveling to Switzerland. I asked, what language do they speak there (I was not sure if it was predominately german or english) and she said, "I think they speak Swiss." I burst out laughing and said, "That's not a language." And she was like, "Yes it is." Then I thought, "she's a certified teacher so maybe she's right and I'm clueless." I can't believe I actually called my husband and asked him if Swiss was a language. He died laughing and I felt like an idiot.
I know a sweet little old lady that was a regular customer at the bank where I worked. She was thrilled because her son was getting married. He was away at college and came home during school breaks, but she had never visited him at college. He met his future wife at college and they planned to live there until they both graduated.
As the wedding approached, my customer would stop in to tell me how the plans were progressing. A few weeks before the wedding, she asked if I could order foreign currency for her trip. I asked her what country she was visiting and she said, "New Mexico - for my son's wedding - remember?" I had one heck of a time proving that New Mexico was a state, not a country. I pulled up a map of the United States on my computer and showed her New Mexico. Then I pointed out the city where her son lived and attended college.
She was floored. This poor lady had been bragging to her friends that she was traveling to a foreign country for her son's wedding. She even got a passport and had scheduled an appointment with her doctor to see if she needed to get shots for her trip. (she canceled her appointment)
I felt bad that I had to be the one to break the news to her - but at the same time I couldn't believe that no one else had pointed this out to her.
I asked her what country she was visiting and she said, "New Mexico - for my son's wedding - remember?"
Hubby worked in a bank's lockbox dept (that's the PO Box where you send your credit card pymts, light bills, etc.). One of his staff brought him a check and said, "I need to take this one to international." He looked at it and asked "Why?" She got real exasperated with him and said, "Duh!! Because it's drawn on a a new MEXICO bank!" He said, "DUH! New Mexico is part of the United States!!"
So yeah ... they're out there!
Our little city published a directory for the well known businesses and sent it to every new move-in and anyone who registered with the city's website, as well as had it for pick-up in various locations (post offices, etc.)
The listed number for the library was actually a residential phone number, who was inundated with calls. They didn't want to change their number (why?) so the city bought them a new phone system & answering machine. If you call it, the message is the lady telling the story and then directs you to the correct # for the library. She said in the news article covering it, "You wouldn't believe how many people actually DO call the library - and at all hours!"
This reminded me of a story hubby told when he worked in the lockbox dept of a bank. One of the ladies asked him if the International dept should process a check from New Mexico? He asked her "why would International handle it?" She said, "Because it's from new MEXICO???", using the tone of voice that indicated HE was the idiot for not knowing!
And she's probably allowed to drive, vote and pro-create!
I'm just reading this thread now, and I came across this and had to comment. I am originally from Albuquerque, and heard things like this all the time! Some of my favorites:
"Is this your first trip to the US?"
"Can I see your green card?" 
"Wow! You speak perfect english! You don't have an accent or anything! I didn't know they taught english there!" 
"You are awful white for a Mexican!" 
At my college there was a lady in administraction named Sue Suchim-Cox, pronounced Suck-em-Cocks. She's wonderful lady, I don't know why she hyphenated her name.
I just wanted to thank all you ladies for lifting my spirits today. I was feeling stressed out all day and all this laughing has made my day so much better!! I laughed so hard at one post that I actually woke my little dd up. She thought I was crying (I actually did have a tear from laughing so hard!).
OMG!!! I finally finished this thread!!! You guys are a riot!!!
I think back to the time that my friend from Ontario and myself (from Manitoba at the time) met up in Banff Alberta. All of a sudden he looks at a car driving by with Alberta license plates and says "Hey, Alberta plates... You don't see THAT every day." I looked at him and said "I suppose you might see that more in ALBERTA!!!"
I had a BF that was VERY serious. Too serious, in fact. And one day I looked at him while he was driving and said "If they took all of the sponges out of the ocean, how much do you think the ocean would rise by? Do you think it would flood Vancouver?" He looked at me like I was stupid, and then proceeded to tell me WHY the ocean level wouldn't change. OMG!!!!
I just remembered another really funny story about my DH. Here, it is a requirement for the teachers in each dept. to schedule 15 minutes of exercise for their students. My DH was teaching Seniors that year, he took them outside for a walk and was trying to get them pumped. He started running backwards and spouting off things to motivate them and then.......he jogged right into the drivers ed car. His students saw the car sitting there but didn't say anything. Of course all of his students were dying laughing. Then, he turned around to see the driving teacher and her students sitting in the car cracking up at him. One of his students said, "Dang, she's (the student driver) going to get an F for hitting a pedestrian and she's still in park."
My son is always playing practical jokes on everyone.
He is an avid sports fan. He convinced my husband (who never watches sports) that the guy standing behind the first baseman was the back up first baseman.
My son got contact lenses when he was twelve. He was going to walk to school, so I told him to be careful so his contacts didn't freeze to his eyes. (It was winter.) He fell for it hook line and sinker.
Okay this one is more of a practical joke. READ CAREFULLY! You might have to read it more than once. I have friends that smoke and they were all drinking at my old apartment one day and I happen to love taking videos of people when they are drunk because there is never a dull moment. Wellll, this guy picks up a candle to light a cigarette and he's puffing and puffing and looks at me (I was laughing) and asks me why his cigarette won't light the candle (confused, he was talking backwards) and I told him "the candle won't light your cigarette because there is no flame (it wasn't lit)!!!!LOL!!! To add to the injury the cigarette was backwards!!
Here's a good one.....The market I used to work for has a website that has a link to my myspace page so that they can continue to sell cakes and direct customers to a place where they can view the work. This all makes sense right? The other day, the 23 year old store manager sent me an e-mail stating that I should put my phone number on the myspace page so people can reach me .
I thought that's why I was paying them referal fees, after all they send their customers to their website, they connect to mine and then they call the market to place the order. I then call the client and fine tune the order and quote the price.
Did she really think that I wanted to post my phone number so that the millions of people who surf myspace can call me directly? Why don't I just give them my address while I'm at it.
My grandmother use to be a huge baker,..for as long as i remember she use to bake huge speads and freeze them before christmas. Well as years went by she begain to loose her eye sight. A few years back she made a coconut cake , me and several family members had cut into it and had some,...we begin to eat it and my dad was like,.."mom what did you put in this?" She said nothing i dont normally,...
Dad looked at me and pulled out a section of paper towel' We all laughed but poor grandma shook her head....she always layed her layers on paper towels to cool and she didnt notice the paper towel on the layer she layed on top of the cake.....she iced it and she said well i was wondering why that icing was so hard to spead on the sides. She has long since give up baking,..i guess thats where i get it at.
My MIL just got back from Jamaica mon and we were taking care of her animals and other stuff. I saw that her new cordless phone lets you program a name for that phone like bedroom or living room. We put OH SH!# on her LR phone and GO VOLS on her BR phone as she 500% despises the vols. She got home and calls us to say, "Someone named OH SH!# is on my caller ID. I am going to call them back to see who it is. I just can't believe somebody named OH SH!# called me." She goes on and on about it. Later, she wanted to know what we did to her phones b/c the BR phone says GO VOLS. We knew she was gullible but we not THAT gullible, we were cracking up that she thought that was an actual caller.
My Dad and Stepmom went on a cruise. It was their first, and they were very excited about all the amenities, especially the 24-hour self serve ice cream bar. The seocnd or third night, they were down for a nighttime snack when they struck up a conversation with the guy who was ahead of them, talking about how much they enjoyed the ice cream bar. "Yep," he says topping his scoop with a spoonful of hot chocolate, "I come here every night." Then he LICKED the spoon, and put it back in the tub of chocolate! My parents were horrified and needless to say, did not enjoy the bar so much after that.
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