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Are people REALLY this stupid? - Page 17

post #241 of 539
Quote:
Originally Posted by KittyPTerror

I'm sorry- it was my wording that was unclear...The bottom of the recipe said, "Yield: 4 cups." He thought it was an ingredient when it was really the amount the recipe made.



Duh! I just couldn't figure out what you were getting at. Reminds me of the story in the Chicken Soup cookbook where the new bride went to the store and asked for scratch as she wanted to bake her husband a cake "from scratch". She ended up at the feed store and bought chicken scratch. Every time I hear someone say they bake from scratch, I think of this woman.

Thanks for clearing that up for me so I don't feel so stupid. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

Diane
Lord, If you can't make me thin, please make my friends fat.
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Lord, If you can't make me thin, please make my friends fat.
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post #242 of 539
My friend, who is NOT a cook, was making some type of appetizers that called for a lot of parsley. She didn't have any and substituted oregano because it looked the same. She said it was the most disgusting thing she ever put in her mouth!
It's not how good you are, but how well you can fix your mistakes.
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It's not how good you are, but how well you can fix your mistakes.
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post #243 of 539
Just thought of another funny ha ha. Husband and I, my son's and husband's daughter, are driving up north to see my parents. During a conversation, husband's daughter Christine (13) says, 'why are we going up north?' My smart alec husband says 'to see the old goats (joking about my parents). Very seriously she says 'they have goats up there?' We laughed so hard we thought we were all going to pee our pants. Once we calmed down he said 'NO! I was talking about Delynn's mom and dad as a joke'. She says 'Ohhhhh'. She has had so many of these episodes that it's actually sad. Another...'hey dad, what would happen if your heart stopped?'...his reply 'you'd die'. OMG! Even my 8-year-old at the time knew that one. She's going to be 19 this year and she's still as dense. Yikes! Must take after her mother cause my husband's pretty intelligent.
Delynn Tracy
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Delynn Tracy
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post #244 of 539
Ok, since so many of you told on yourself, I have to also. I blame my mom for this one though (teacher - not). Ok, I was 9-12? years old and baking a Cherry Chip box mix cake which called for egg whites. I had only ever baked a couple of yellow or chocolate cakes till then and didn't know the CLEAR part of the egg was called the WHITES. I stuck my head around the corner of the living room and said to my mom 'the recipe calls for egg whites, so what do you want me to do?' icon_redface.gif Blah, blah, blah, blah. I couldn't understand what she meant so I said 'what?' In an irritated tone she said 'just throw the whole thing in'. I was then frustrated because she wouldn't explain what she wanted me to do so.... you guessed it... I said to myself, 'fine', and threw the WHOLE thing in (yep, shells and all). Well, at one point or another as the 6 of us were eating the cherry CHIP cake, the bits of egg shells were soon discovered. When mom asked about the bits, I said 'well, you wouldn't explain what you meant and you said throw the whole thing in, so... I did'. I've got tears in my eyes from laughing so hard and trying to type. We all laugh about this one every time it comes up. icon_cry.gificon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gif
Delynn Tracy
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Delynn Tracy
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post #245 of 539
Many years ago when I was first married and didn't have much of a spice collection (before I baked AT ALL or even cooked much of anything), for one reason or another, one of my single (still living at home) friends came over to fix us dinner. She made spaghetti, which was very sweet of her, since she didn't cook much.
After a few bites, I noticed a strange taste I couldn't quite place. I asked her what spices she had put in, and she said, "Oh, I just put in everything in the cabinet." icon_eek.gif
The strange flavor was caraway seeds in the spaghetti! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
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"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
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post #246 of 539
ok, several more, and these are on me...

although i'm pretty smart, i have my moments where my mouth engages way before my brain...alot of those moments actually!!!! at least one biggie per year!!!! if you've read through all these pages, you'll see two particular posts that scream out examples of this!!

1) i'm visiting my parents in kentucky and my dad and i run out to the local grocery for some meat for dinner. well i'm used to shopping at publix or kroger. we go over to the dairy aisle, which is sandwiched between the frozen desserts cooler, populated by many housewives and such, and the beer cooler, populated by several gentlemen. we're standing there looking for cottage cheese, and i say, in my voice that seems to always carry, "dad i can't find the kroger cottage cheese!" as soon as it left my mouth, i look at dad, and he's turning his head to look at me with this poop eating grin, and i realize that i'm standing in the middle of FOOD LION!!!!!!!!!! crap!!!!!!!

2) my ex boyfriend and i are eating at shoney's, and there is a small tv hanging from the ceiling with what i guess were "what happened on this date" kind of things. i'm eating, i glance up, and i see the words "liberace died" scrolling across the bottom, and i pipe up "oh my god, liberace died!" as soon as it's out, i realize what i said, cause the dude's been dead for like 15 years by then...this was only about 6 years ago or so!!!
the early bird may get the worm, indeed, but the second mouse is the one who gets the cheese!
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the early bird may get the worm, indeed, but the second mouse is the one who gets the cheese!
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post #247 of 539
You know what? I just realized just how fun it would be if all us DINGGY PEOPLE were all in the same room at the same time. Wouldn't someone have a field day taping our conversations. icon_lol.gificon_surprised.gificon_lol.gificon_eek.gif
Delynn Tracy
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Delynn Tracy
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post #248 of 539
another one on me... I was visiting Dallas, TX for the first time and my cousin was giving me the tour of The Grassy Knoll area. He's pointing out everything and concludes with "...that's where Kennedy was shot."

Well, you can take the girl out of the country....! I said, "but wasn't that in Dallas?" For some reason, my mind was still in Indiana!

Cousin looked at me and said, "That blonde dye job is real, isn't it?" icon_lol.gif
post #249 of 539
WOW...We're already on page 17 of this thread, I wonder how many more pages. Keep em com'in no matter what. Laughter is truly the best medicine of all. I hope this thread never goes away because I'm sure I'd re-read it many times especially at the end of a long cake decorating day. I think it should stay here permanently!!! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
Delynn Tracy
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Delynn Tracy
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post #250 of 539
I was doing a cake consultation on the porch for Larry the Cable Guy's cousin (joke icon_lol.gif ) and thinking....OMG...I don't want to do this one. The bride is there with her step-mom who is dressed in a skin tight, very low cut cotton shirt...she's got the biggest honkers I have ever seen in my life...well...as we are talking, and customers are walking by...she leaned down to pull the cake topper (a small bale of hay) out of her purse...yes...her boob fell out of her shirt! icon_surprised.gificon_eek.gif I was just looking at her icon_eek.gif (as were the customers walking by) icon_eek.gif and she said "WHAT?" and I just looked down...I don't know what I would have said had I opened my big fat mouth...she very oh well like reached down grabbed her honker and smashed it back into her shirt without missing a word! icon_eek.gif
"If you don't know where you are going.....how are you going to get there?"
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"If you don't know where you are going.....how are you going to get there?"
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post #251 of 539
THEY GROW 'EM BIG IN TEXAS HUH!?? LOL
It's not how good you are, but how well you can fix your mistakes.
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It's not how good you are, but how well you can fix your mistakes.
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post #252 of 539
Did I mention that she was a very large lady with perm burnt hair that was sticking straight up?
"If you don't know where you are going.....how are you going to get there?"
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"If you don't know where you are going.....how are you going to get there?"
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post #253 of 539
Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetConfectionsChef

Did I mention that she was a very large lady with perm burnt hair that was sticking straight up?

OMG! What is wrong with people??? Sounds like she's attention deprived and that's the only way to get some, by shocking people by the way she looks and acts.
Delynn Tracy
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Delynn Tracy
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post #254 of 539
lol. you guys are awsome i needed a laugh! these are hilarious.
"Never eat more than you can carry" -miss piggy
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"Never eat more than you can carry" -miss piggy
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post #255 of 539
I work at Wal-mart, so we have all these cakes sitting out in the case...and of course we will write on these cakes for free...and we will write just abotu anything you want...

A guest had picked up a Ice Cream cake and want me to write Happy Birthday Dave, so of course I did.....so she came and picke dup her cake, and not 10 minutes later she went and put it back in that case! oh this is what my mine was saying "YOU *(*&^%*(&*^%*^(&*%^%$$$%&^%*(*(" i was PISSED to say the least!

Then she had the never to come back up to our counter and take another cake.....She better thank her lucky stars she did not ask me to write on that cake....I wanted to tell her to wake to Isle 7(Baking Isle) and get her own frosting!!!!! and i wouldn't have said it that nice!
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