I'm sorry- it was my wording that was unclear...The bottom of the recipe said, "Yield: 4 cups." He thought it was an ingredient when it was really the amount the recipe made.
Duh! I just couldn't figure out what you were getting at. Reminds me of the story in the Chicken Soup cookbook where the new bride went to the store and asked for scratch as she wanted to bake her husband a cake "from scratch". She ended up at the feed store and bought chicken scratch. Every time I hear someone say they bake from scratch, I think of this woman.
Thanks for clearing that up for me so I don't feel so stupid.
Diane
My friend, who is NOT a cook, was making some type of appetizers that called for a lot of parsley. She didn't have any and substituted oregano because it looked the same. She said it was the most disgusting thing she ever put in her mouth!
Just thought of another funny ha ha. Husband and I, my son's and husband's daughter, are driving up north to see my parents. During a conversation, husband's daughter Christine (13) says, 'why are we going up north?' My smart alec husband says 'to see the old goats (joking about my parents). Very seriously she says 'they have goats up there?' We laughed so hard we thought we were all going to pee our pants. Once we calmed down he said 'NO! I was talking about Delynn's mom and dad as a joke'. She says 'Ohhhhh'. She has had so many of these episodes that it's actually sad. Another...'hey dad, what would happen if your heart stopped?'...his reply 'you'd die'. OMG! Even my 8-year-old at the time knew that one. She's going to be 19 this year and she's still as dense. Yikes! Must take after her mother cause my husband's pretty intelligent.
Ok, since so many of you told on yourself, I have to also. I blame my mom for this one though (teacher - not). Ok, I was 9-12? years old and baking a Cherry Chip box mix cake which called for egg whites. I had only ever baked a couple of yellow or chocolate cakes till then and didn't know the CLEAR part of the egg was called the WHITES. I stuck my head around the corner of the living room and said to my mom 'the recipe calls for egg whites, so what do you want me to do?' Blah, blah, blah, blah. I couldn't understand what she meant so I said 'what?' In an irritated tone she said 'just throw the whole thing in'. I was then frustrated because she wouldn't explain what she wanted me to do so.... you guessed it... I said to myself, 'fine', and threw the WHOLE thing in (yep, shells and all). Well, at one point or another as the 6 of us were eating the cherry CHIP cake, the bits of egg shells were soon discovered. When mom asked about the bits, I said 'well, you wouldn't explain what you meant and you said throw the whole thing in, so... I did'. I've got tears in my eyes from laughing so hard and trying to type. We all laugh about this one every time it comes up.
Many years ago when I was first married and didn't have much of a spice collection (before I baked AT ALL or even cooked much of anything), for one reason or another, one of my single (still living at home) friends came over to fix us dinner. She made spaghetti, which was very sweet of her, since she didn't cook much.
After a few bites, I noticed a strange taste I couldn't quite place. I asked her what spices she had put in, and she said, "Oh, I just put in everything in the cabinet."
The strange flavor was caraway seeds in the spaghetti!
ok, several more, and these are on me...
although i'm pretty smart, i have my moments where my mouth engages way before my brain...alot of those moments actually!!!! at least one biggie per year!!!! if you've read through all these pages, you'll see two particular posts that scream out examples of this!!
1) i'm visiting my parents in kentucky and my dad and i run out to the local grocery for some meat for dinner. well i'm used to shopping at publix or kroger. we go over to the dairy aisle, which is sandwiched between the frozen desserts cooler, populated by many housewives and such, and the beer cooler, populated by several gentlemen. we're standing there looking for cottage cheese, and i say, in my voice that seems to always carry, "dad i can't find the kroger cottage cheese!" as soon as it left my mouth, i look at dad, and he's turning his head to look at me with this poop eating grin, and i realize that i'm standing in the middle of FOOD LION!!!!!!!!!! crap!!!!!!!
2) my ex boyfriend and i are eating at shoney's, and there is a small tv hanging from the ceiling with what i guess were "what happened on this date" kind of things. i'm eating, i glance up, and i see the words "liberace died" scrolling across the bottom, and i pipe up "oh my god, liberace died!" as soon as it's out, i realize what i said, cause the dude's been dead for like 15 years by then...this was only about 6 years ago or so!!!
You know what? I just realized just how fun it would be if all us DINGGY PEOPLE were all in the same room at the same time. Wouldn't someone have a field day taping our conversations.
another one on me... I was visiting Dallas, TX for the first time and my cousin was giving me the tour of The Grassy Knoll area. He's pointing out everything and concludes with "...that's where Kennedy was shot."
Well, you can take the girl out of the country....! I said, "but wasn't that in Dallas?" For some reason, my mind was still in Indiana!
Cousin looked at me and said, "That blonde dye job is real, isn't it?"
WOW...We're already on page 17 of this thread, I wonder how many more pages. Keep em com'in no matter what. Laughter is truly the best medicine of all. I hope this thread never goes away because I'm sure I'd re-read it many times especially at the end of a long cake decorating day. I think it should stay here permanently!!!
I was doing a cake consultation on the porch for Larry the Cable Guy's cousin (joke ) and thinking....OMG...I don't want to do this one. The bride is there with her step-mom who is dressed in a skin tight, very low cut cotton shirt...she's got the biggest honkers I have ever seen in my life...well...as we are talking, and customers are walking by...she leaned down to pull the cake topper (a small bale of hay) out of her purse...yes...her boob fell out of her shirt! I was just looking at her (as were the customers walking by) and she said "WHAT?" and I just looked down...I don't know what I would have said had I opened my big fat mouth...she very oh well like reached down grabbed her honker and smashed it back into her shirt without missing a word!
Did I mention that she was a very large lady with perm burnt hair that was sticking straight up?
Did I mention that she was a very large lady with perm burnt hair that was sticking straight up?
OMG! What is wrong with people??? Sounds like she's attention deprived and that's the only way to get some, by shocking people by the way she looks and acts.
I work at Wal-mart, so we have all these cakes sitting out in the case...and of course we will write on these cakes for free...and we will write just abotu anything you want...
A guest had picked up a Ice Cream cake and want me to write Happy Birthday Dave, so of course I did.....so she came and picke dup her cake, and not 10 minutes later she went and put it back in that case! oh this is what my mine was saying "YOU *(*&^%*(&*^%*^(&*%^%$$$%&^%*(*(" i was PISSED to say the least!
Then she had the never to come back up to our counter and take another cake.....She better thank her lucky stars she did not ask me to write on that cake....I wanted to tell her to wake to Isle 7(Baking Isle) and get her own frosting!!!!! and i wouldn't have said it that nice!
Mine isn't really funny, its just awful...I cannot for the life of me give out directions to my house, except for a very few roads. The other day a customer was almost here but got confused with her directions and called for help. I absolutely could NOT help her (and she was only a couple minutes away). I tried to figure out where she was and could not, because I'm that dumb. So I gave her my husband's cell phone number (she was a bit annoyed by that time) because he is good at directions. Unfortunately he was not at his phone and so she had to stop for directions. She got to my house and she was pleased with the cake and was friendly enough but she was like "And I stopped and somebody gave me GOOD directions...." Sometimes I can't believe I'm so retarded... my husband just consoled me and said that if I was good at directions I wouldn't be so good at making cakes. haha.
omg lilly, you have those at your walmart too huh
sheesh
You know those fake cakes for display, we actually had people steal those. OMG!!! talk bout are people really that stupid and then to go one better one of the people (won't call em customers , they have to buy something to be a customer) actually had the chutspa to bring one back and complain that it was "a little dry"
Here's a cake related one....A lady I teach with was looking at my cake pictures, particularly the sculpted ones. She was very interested in these and said she just couldn't figure out how I did this. I explained that I just use a knife and carefully cut out the shape, etc. She just stared at me a minute and then said, "I just don't get it, do you sculpt them before you bake them or after?" I wanted to say, "Yes, I sculpt the liquid batter." Seriously, how could you not know the answer to that question?
Here's a cake related one....A lady I teach with was looking at my cake pictures, particularly the sculpted ones. She was very interested in these and said she just couldn't figure out how I did this. I explained that I just use a knife and carefully cut out the shape, etc. She just stared at me a minute and then said, "I just don't get it, do you sculpt them before you bake them or after?" I wanted to say, "Yes, I sculpt the liquid batter." Seriously, how could you not know the answer to that question?
Sounds like the same person who, when I was a teenager working at a fast food place in Rapid City, South Dakota...asked me what they do with Mount Rushmore in the winter. (I'm not joking)
cassandrascakes, i was just reading this thread and i'm only on page two. you mentioned your aunt thinking she got gas for 97 cents.
i was on a road trip with my mom when i was a teenager. she got pulled over for speeding at 95 mph. the officer told her this, and she swore the speed limit sign said 95. Guess which interstate we were on?!
Here's a cake related one....A lady I teach with was looking at my cake pictures, particularly the sculpted ones. She was very interested in these and said she just couldn't figure out how I did this. I explained that I just use a knife and carefully cut out the shape, etc. She just stared at me a minute and then said, "I just don't get it, do you sculpt them before you bake them or after?" I wanted to say, "Yes, I sculpt the liquid batter." Seriously, how could you not know the answer to that question?
Sounds like the same person who, when I was a teenager working at a fast food place in Rapid City, South Dakota...asked me what they do with Mount Rushmore in the winter. (I'm not joking)
OMG this is toooo funny! A girl in my class though it was "natural"!!!! yes to say the least...she finally came to realize after weeks of teasing!
omg lilly, you have those at your walmart too huh
sheesh
You know those fake cakes for display, we actually had people steal those. OMG!!! talk bout are people really that stupid and then to go one better one of the people (won't call em customers , they have to buy something to be a customer) actually had the chutspa to bring one back and complain that it was "a little dry"
lol, i hope to get they would never steal one of ours....it is made of foam!!!!! hehe, but we have had them poke their fingets...and one that we put on top of the donut case, i believe they took a big bite out of it...atleast that is what it looks like!!!!!!
and then there are the people, that all you do for them is write on a premade cake, and they could not be happier!!!!! Those are the customers that make me want to stay there......
Lily hun that's what I meant about the cake being a little "dry" it was made of foam and they actually brought the thing back for a refund!!! Because it was dry!!!!!!!!
People are really that stupid!!! It gets worse, I work at a mental health facility...so I get it 10x's worse.
Patricia
People are really that stupid!!! It gets worse, I work at a mental health facility...so I get it 10x's worse.
Patricia
But they have an excuse......... My mom worked in mental hospitals when we lived in California years ago. She always had a wild story to tell at supper. I told her she only told some of those stories to make us sick so we wouldn't eat so much! She later drove school bus and said she got her training from working at the mental hospital.
Diane
I visit a friend in a mental hospital and I have to tell you I would much rather be around them then the people out there in the real world. The real nuts are out there among us.
Candy120 and rlsaxe - did either of you guys ever see the commercial where the guy was at a job interview and the boss' name was Dumas and the kid applying for the job kept repeating his name WRONG over and over and over?!?!
How are you Mr. Dum-A$$?
Love to work for you Mr. Dum-A$$!
Over and Over before the man says - "It's pronounced DU-MAAS!"
Laughed my butt off everytime it came on!! That's all I could think of when I saw your thread! Hee hee!
Of course I am one to talk - people constantly mis-pronounce my name "anus" - Cripse! You don't pronounce PLANES - Planus so why do they pronounce ANES - Anus??
you bet some can be just like that, I've had one ask me the morning of something if i could just whip up a cake for just after dinner time. I almost choked on my water. It takes all kinds I guess.
I'm sorry to be on here so much, but the more I read, the more I recall stories!
I was at my grandparents house one day (and there's nothing funnier than old people arguing!). Gramma was reading the paper and said, "Oh they buried so-and-so today." Grampa said, "Oh did he die?" Gramma said, "NO, you fool! They buried him alive!"
LOL I laughed so hard, I soaked my computer screen with coffee.
The biggest argument I saw my in-laws have. We were traveling and my FIL asked my MIL who had the map, "I make a left up here?" She said "right" you guessed it he turned right. She meant right to his left.
Huge argument, I'm in the back seat trying not to laugh.
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