I Will Not Let Them Get Me Down!

Decorating By TMM2001 Updated 18 Jan 2006 , 2:11pm by LittleBigMomma

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TMM2001 Posted 16 Jan 2006 , 6:17pm
post #1 of 37

I spoke to certain members of my immediate family last week, and they had asked me what I had been up too? I told them that I was baking and decorating cakes. Of course they laughed their behinds off. The person had told me the following" You baking and decorating cakes? You can't even boil water!!!" This hurt my feeling really bad,my cakes are by far perfect but you know they are perfect to me, its an accomplishment for me. And yes I can't boil water BUT I can bake a cake. I was in the middle of decorating a cake for a friend of mine as a suprise from her husband for her birthday and when I hung up the phone with the family member I was so down in the dumps and just lost all motivation.
So what I did was stepped back drank a glass of wine (mind you it was 11 in the morning) regrouped called some friends of mine for moral support and went backj at it a few hours and several glasses of wine later (yes my head was swimming) but the cake turned out great (I will add it to my pictures later).
I don't know why I let this person get to me (oh yes I do because it is the woman that gave birth to me) but I vowed after that phone call that I refuse to let her beat me down about something that I am so passionate about.
So I am gonna block out the negative comment made by her and show this woman that yes I do have talent and yes I am good!!!
I had to get this off my chest because you guys are always great and know how to make people feel good at what they have done. Thanks for reading.

36 replies
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Alien_Sunset Posted 16 Jan 2006 , 6:22pm
post #2 of 37

Good for you!!! icon_biggrin.gif

I had a lot of similar opposition when I went to school for culinary.
A few really good meals and free cakes later they all changed their tunes!
maybe teh same will work for you. thumbs_up.gif

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debsuewoo Posted 16 Jan 2006 , 6:22pm
post #3 of 37

Hmmm.... if it were me in your situation and I had all of those wonderful photos in my gallery, I'd make copies of all of the pictures and send them to your mother with a nice little note that goes along the lines of "You're right, I can't boil water, but fortunately baking and decorating doesn't require me to!"

Debbi

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Fishercakes Posted 16 Jan 2006 , 6:23pm
post #4 of 37

Don't let them get you down (family), I know what ya mean...some of family is the same way. They will only look at me as a little girl with pigtails. Never mind that I am now thirty-something with children of my own.

I have seen your cakes and they are quite wonderful and astonishing. You have a wonderful talent so do not let them drag you down or lose confidence in yourself. I am sure that everyone here has someone in their life that acts this way but you know you can always turn to your CC family for all the support in the world.

Kudos to your and your wonderful cakes!! Keep inspiring us with those great cakes of yours!! icon_lol.gif


I like Debbi's suggestion!!! icon_twisted.gif

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VickiG Posted 16 Jan 2006 , 6:31pm
post #5 of 37

Do NOT let anyone get you down. Your cakes are beautiful.

Has your mother ever seen any of your cakes ?

If so, then she has her own problems to deal with (if you get my meaning), and if not, then show them to her sometime... if you really can't boil water, then without seeing what you can do she can't be blamed for assuming you can't bake a cake.

And if none of this is good advice ... wine & friends certainly help !!!

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kaecakes Posted 16 Jan 2006 , 6:32pm
post #6 of 37

Don't let them get you down, some of the best chefs can't bake. So who says you have to be a good cook to bake. Besides decorating is an artistic thing. Anyone cane bake a boxed mix ( which isn't saying they are not the way to go I use them) decorating is another thing all together. You do a wonderful job and have great talent. Keep at it.

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TMM2001 Posted 16 Jan 2006 , 6:33pm
post #7 of 37

Awwwwwwwww you guys are GREAT!!!! Thank you so much for the encouragement it does make me feel so much better. I think why it bothers me so is because its my mother, and mothers are suppose to be nurturing and encouring and proud, and my whole life this woman is none of the above. I do remember growing up and wanting to decorate cakes and go to culinary school, but NOOOOOOOOOO she would have no part of it, she forced me into nursing school (thats before I grew a backbone) and yes I love working with the elderly in nursing but the whole time I was a practicing as a nurse part of me was missing now that I am decorating I feel complete and alive. I think she is just jealous. Heck who knows...Part of me wants to show her pictures of my cakes just to show her "yes I can do it" part of me says no don't give her the pleasure.

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Cakeman66 Posted 16 Jan 2006 , 6:36pm
post #8 of 37

The most boring thing in the world or one of them, is boiling water in my opinion. Just tell your mom there are less boring things in the world than boiling water, and you'd rather do those things. i.e.- baking and decorating.

I half jokingly/half proudly say that my Mom is like one of those stage mom's or sports parents, she is always on me to do better when it comes to baking and cooking. (not that there's anything wrong with it). She wants me to do better always, and never (Thank God!) tells me I can't. She's always encouraging me. We all (sometimes) should have a Mom like that.

You can tell her to shove it, but that wouldn't do any good probably. OR you could prove her wrong and show her your work and say look! Boiling water may be easy for her, but ask her to decorate a cake that copies one of yours.

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Devonee Posted 16 Jan 2006 , 6:38pm
post #9 of 37

Your cakes are wonderful, you shouldn't let anyone get you down.

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Mac Posted 16 Jan 2006 , 6:42pm
post #10 of 37

You have wonderful cakes--don't let them get you down. My cooking isn't the greatest but I can bake anything.

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cake77 Posted 16 Jan 2006 , 6:43pm
post #11 of 37

I just looked at your cake photo's in the gallery, and they were all great. Don't let anyone get you down. I really liked your purse and shoe cake. I haven't tried making one yet, but plan on trying it soon.

Wilma

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Krise Posted 16 Jan 2006 , 6:46pm
post #12 of 37

I'm sorry how rude!

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Mslou Posted 16 Jan 2006 , 6:58pm
post #13 of 37

Who in the h!!* eats boiled water any way. That is why we have delis and restaurants. You go girl !! Cake decorating is a passion and an expression of art. Any body can get a job, only talented people can make icing into an expression of love.

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chaptlps Posted 16 Jan 2006 , 7:00pm
post #14 of 37

Like Cakeman66 said, " Boiling water is overrated at best and boring as h-e-double toothpicks second.
So don't worry bout the naysayers. Just make her a cake that would make Collette Peter's gush (looks like you have a head start, excellent work btw). And stand back, and don't say a word!!!
Inside you'll be saying, "Yep, that's MY cake and I did it!!!! AND I know it's dern good. SO THERE!!!"
LOL
Remember, a bad day decorating is always better than a good day at work!!!!!

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prettycake Posted 16 Jan 2006 , 7:14pm
post #15 of 37

icon_smile.gif Have you showed them photos of your cakes ? maybe that would shut them up ? How about asking them to have a cake showdown ? like a contest between you and this person ? I would ...The comment does not matter who it came from, you can still retaliate without mercy.. icon_twisted.gifthumbs_up.gif

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SUELA Posted 16 Jan 2006 , 7:19pm
post #16 of 37

Yes, I agree your purse and shoe cake look amazing! Had to look twice at the shoe to see if it was real!

Not knowing your mom like you do, some people say things not realizing how it comes out. A few months back I did a few 28" x 14" cakes for work. Nothing fancy, they really just want the logo and congratulations or something. Someone on my team, actually said to me in the elevator, kinda plain aren't they? Later she heard that I did them. Don't know if it dawned on her how I might have taken what she said.

I think it is safe to say we appreciate your great contributions to the cake decorating commmunity!

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melodyscakes Posted 16 Jan 2006 , 11:16pm
post #17 of 37

just wanted to send you a big 'ol e-hug! i am so sorry your mom isnt supportive of you. i just looked at your cakes, and they are great!!

hugs again
melody

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maxiecakes Posted 16 Jan 2006 , 11:54pm
post #18 of 37

imho, it's not what is said , but who said it,
We all want mom & dad to be proud of us and to support us in our hopes and dreams. Unfortunately
it isn't always like that , And that's ok, Once we realize no matter how well we do something it won't be good enough ,We move on and do the same things only now we do them to please ourselves, And we are so much happier. Be Happy thumbs_up.gif

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TooMuchCake Posted 17 Jan 2006 , 12:00am
post #19 of 37

Oh, my heart goes out to you!! icon_cry.gif

I tried to tell my mom that I got 5 ribbons in one competition - one of them a Best of Division - and she ignored me. I tried three times to tell her. She would change the subject or keep ignoring me. I got a picture in ACD magazine and tried to tell her. She ignored me. My heart was so broken. Now I don't mention anything about it to her unless she brings it up.

Sometimes there is a difference between "family" and "relatives" if that makes any sense. So when I have a good report about my work, I find some Family to tell and they are happy for me.

Keep up your good work and don't let them drag you down.
{{hug}}

Deanna

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nanni Posted 17 Jan 2006 , 12:23am
post #20 of 37

YOU HANG IN THERE! You should be very proud of any accomplisment-you have every right to. But I do know what you mean. My best friend was talking on the phone to her mom after she saw a picture of a cake I made (hers are perfect dont ya know) when I walked into her office long enough to hear-YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT *&&^^IS TRYING TO PASS OFF AS A CAKE--I was sooooooooo hurt-I haven't let her see a picture of my cakes since then-they will never be as good as hers no matter how well I do(she has me convinced of that but that is another story). It took me a while but I am pretty much over her opinion-I do my best and my "customers" seem to be pleased and I get so much encouragement here that the boo-boo'd pride is pretty much fixed. I know it's harder when it's your mother but maybe it's her way...sometimes they can't find the exact words to say "I'm proud of you"...tying to give her benefit of the doubt here as I don't know her-but no matter what the criticism-your work is great-you are great-don't let anyone get you down for being so!

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subaru Posted 17 Jan 2006 , 12:51am
post #21 of 37

Oh Honey, do I ever know how you feel. I have learned that those we love the most are the ones that hurt us the most. Sometimes we just have to let it go. I checked out your cakes. You have every reason to be proud of yourself. They are very good. give yourself a big pat on the back and keep up the good work.

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TMM2001 Posted 17 Jan 2006 , 2:28pm
post #22 of 37

Thank all of you so much, your kind words mean the world to me. So last night I took it upon myself to email some pics to my mother, in hopes to reach out to this woman one last time. I sent her the turkey cake pictures, the purse and the shoe one, and the haunted house as well. I get up this morning to check the email and low and behold she emailed me back, telling me that there was no way in H--- that those were my cakes that someone else must have made them. How can one person be so mean, cruel and heartless? So today is Tuesday and it is when I talk to my father ( he always calls me on Tuesday) should I tell him what she did? I have a somewhat good relationship with him. I guess I need to play it by ear depending on the flow of the conversation. My husband told me to just let it go and act like it doesn't bother me, because she can't stand that and also if I say something to my father then he will say something to her and then she will twist it all around back on me.
Thanks a bunch everyone for reading this. All of you are so amazing.

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bonniebakes Posted 17 Jan 2006 , 2:41pm
post #23 of 37

I just looked at your photos and your cakes are great! Clearly your mother thinks they are great, too - maybe it was a backhanded compliment that "someone else must have made them"?

Either way, congrats to you on some awesome cakes!

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prettycake Posted 17 Jan 2006 , 2:44pm
post #24 of 37

icon_biggrin.gif I would suggest that don't waste anymore of your time trying to prove yourself to this evil "creature", because no matter what, she would always be on denial that her daughter can do such wonderful things.

There is no need for you to try and get her support for she is not and will never be willing to give that to you..so why bother ?!! Let it go...who cares ? if she supports you or not, we all support you because we know better..YOur mother is not Martha Stewart is she? I like MArtha and I like what she does, but unless this woman can cook and do things like Martha Stewart, then forget her ! To H@#$ with her !!.....

We all like your work and you are very happy doing what you're doing and that all that matters... icon_smile.gif

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NEWTODECORATING Posted 17 Jan 2006 , 2:59pm
post #25 of 37

No matter what our age we always try to seek approval from our parents. Most parents want their children to succeed and surpass their own greatest accomplishments, some however grow jealous of their own children. That they are or can do something better than they can. My husband has pulled himself up from a low beginning. His parents never supported him in any of his endevors. His greatest asset to them was as a pawn in their divorce. Now as an adult his family is jealous that he is doing so well. He still seeks their approval and is disappointed much of the time. I have encouraged him to seek approval only of himself, and to raise our son the way he wished he had been raised, with a supportive family system.
My suggestion to you is to hold your head high, be proud of who you are and what you have done. Your cakes are great! Live your life so that you have no regrets, and at the end of the day if all else fails, bake yourself the most beautiful " just for you cake" !!

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prettycake Posted 17 Jan 2006 , 3:02pm
post #26 of 37

Mother Teresa...is that you ??? LOL Just kidding !!!! icon_biggrin.gif have a nice day

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snicker Posted 17 Jan 2006 , 3:34pm
post #27 of 37

Can I bring up another point? I cant read her mind, but I'm going to bet, that your mother is very proud of you. I bet down deep in her heart she is screaming to tell you she loves you and is proud. Sometimes, for some people, showing love and affection is difficult and almost impossible. If I was you I would say to her, or write her note and say, "Mom, I know you love me and its okay if you cant tell me your proud of me. I'm very happy with my cake decorating, it brings me a lot of joy. Someday I hope you can be happy with me."
I'm going to bet that your mother is not happy with herself, and someone in her life (maybe her own parents!) made her feel the exact way she is making you feel. I agree with everyone else. Those that we love are the ones that can stab us thru the heart. Please keep your head up, we are all here for you
Nicole

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smashcakes Posted 17 Jan 2006 , 7:17pm
post #28 of 37

i just looked at your pictures and they're so awesome. i'm sorry your mom reacted that way. sounds like your hubby is wonderful about your cakes. sometimes you have to look to certain people to get that good reaction. you just keep making those wonderful cakes

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melony1976 Posted 17 Jan 2006 , 7:36pm
post #29 of 37

Just keep baking and creating beautiful work.

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mvucic Posted 17 Jan 2006 , 7:49pm
post #30 of 37

Your cake are great! Keep up the good work!

I know kind of where you're coming from. My parents (and others) always figure it's easier to just buy things already done. (I've made cakes as well as sewn baptismal gowns for my daughters) and on many occasions I've heard comments like "Oh, we found a really great cake/dress for X amount, you should just buy it! Why make it?" Or "your cake probably costs more to make than if you had just ordered it" (My mom referring to the Tiffany Ring Box cake. I highly doubt it would have cost as little as $50, and that's including the crystal diamond paper weight I bought. I actually suggested she take a picture and show it around to cake decorators to see what they would charge! Or she could just pay me!!!!).

I don't think some people understand how great it feels to accomplish something on your own (the gowns were my first). And for me, hearing them say over and over again that I should just buy/order, it made me more determined to prove to them that I could do exactly what I set out to do!

(Sorry for the rant! Touchy subject for me too!)

Take Care!
Mirjana

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