Do I Have To Share My Recipes????

Decorating By SueW Updated 5 Mar 2007 , 3:54pm by antonia74

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SueW Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:08pm
post #1 of 55

OK, I will try to make this short. I have been making NFSC with royal lately and a few cakes to try to get some simple orders as I am just starting out. I did a cake and NF crown cookies for a friend's daughters 3rd birthday party. Everyone raved about them, now my friend wants the NFSC and royal recipe! I know I sound babyish but I feel like I finally found "my thing" and now if every time I make them for someone then give them the recipe what it the point? They will just start making it themselves and never need to order from me.

I must add this is a girl who copies things from me all the time. What ever I get my daughter for her birthday she goes out and buys the same thing for her daughter's birthday. Right down the the nurseries when they were babies she copied almost identically!

She has asked at least 3 times for the recipe and I don't want to give it up. Her family could have been a big source of orders for me. What do I do???? My husband says I should leave out an ingredient or 2 but I am afraid she will figure that out. She has even said she'd like to come to my house and do them together, then she will surely see her recipe was wrong. Please help, I am so sad by this I want to keep the decorating "idea" all to myself. Any advice appreciated icon_cry.gif

54 replies
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ladyonzlake Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:11pm
post #2 of 55

Every recipe starts with the basics. You could give her that and tell her you have some "secret" ingredients that you cannot share with her.
Jacqui

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bethola Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:14pm
post #3 of 55

When people ask about my recipes I just say "Oh....I use different things at different times, just depends on my mood" and that usually stops any questions.

If your friend asks again why don't you just say "That's my SECRET recipe! I could tell you....but, then I'd have to KILL you!" Then just laugh and make her some cookies!

Beth in KY

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SophieBelle Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:16pm
post #4 of 55

I don't think people should feel free to ask for your recipes and put you in that position, especially if you are doing this professionally.

You should just tell her that this is your specialty and it's your 'secret recipe'. Don't feel bad to just say, 'I worked really hard developing my secret recipe and if I told you I'd have to kill you...'

Then don't give it a second thought.

I'm feeling stupid though--I can't figure out was NFSC stands for!

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SophieBelle Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:17pm
post #5 of 55

That's too funny--by the time I replied, someone else had given you the exact same 'kill you' advice! We are a bunch of violent women around here! : icon_twisted.gif

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Sugar_Plum_Fairy Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:20pm
post #6 of 55

NFSC = No Fail Sugar Cookies

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mkerton Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:20pm
post #7 of 55

I share my recipes....mostly because i have found that people still dont want to take the time to do it! (and since I am a person who likes to ask for recipes from others, I am not going to withhold recipes either).

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diamond008 Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:20pm
post #8 of 55

Say what I say...."no." I don't share my recipes. So what if they get mad.

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LanaC Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:20pm
post #9 of 55

Oh shoot, "Sweetie, it's a deep family recipe handed down from my great, great Aunt Betty who would have a hissy and haunt me from beyond if I part with it. But honey, I'll be glad to give you the basics. Go to Wal-Mart aisle 5. See those pretty red boxes? You know, the ones that say 'Crocker'?"

Honestly though, don't part with the recipe. It isn't being babyish, it's a finely tuned and well respected tradition in my neck of the woods. Recipes are more secret than the access codes at the Savannah River Site.

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BrandisBaked Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:21pm
post #10 of 55

A simple "I prefer not to give out my recipes" is what I say... now people don't even ask me.

I am too happy to share techniques, etc. - but my recipes are MINE. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

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SueW Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:23pm
post #11 of 55

SophieBelle:
Don't feel stupid at all, NFSC is No Fail Sugar Cookies. It is Antonia's wonderful recipe found on this site.

I am kicking myself because the "problem" is here I sort of implied I'd give it to her because she caught me off guard. At first I said she could come over and we could make them with our girls who are 3yrs old thinking it would be a fun project, then it turned into her just wanting the recipe. I have been dodging her since but just got another e-mail asking for it. I am so bothered that I implied I'd give it to her, it is my fault and now I am stuck. URG!

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LanaC Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:24pm
post #12 of 55

If you said you would give it to her, then cough it up, all bets are off. One way around it though, make cupcakes and then invite them over for the girls to decorate together.

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CranberryClo Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:25pm
post #13 of 55

My goodness. I completely disagree with what most everyone has said here. That recipe wasn't developed and perfected by anyone here, it's not truly yours (or mine, or anyone's!).

I'd point your friend in the direction of Cake Central and let her find out all about it on her own. That's what you did, right? Leaving an ingredient out just seems petty to me.

Maybe you don't buy the whole karma bit, but if you do, you've got to see that this is setting you up for some bad karma. Be the better person here.

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mkerton Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:25pm
post #14 of 55

just give her a different sugar cookie recipe then.....


I happen to have a sugar cookie recipe that I love (I also like NFSC).........so since there are many variations....just give her one...and be done with the whole issue.

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babynewyear Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:25pm
post #15 of 55

I know one thing its not as easy as it looks and very time consuming. You do a GREAT JOB on you cookies. It would proboly take her a loooonnnng time to be as talented as you are.

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SophieBelle Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:28pm
post #16 of 55

Thanks SugarPlumFairy! I feel stupid! I thought it was some kind of fondant/icing mixture I hadn't heard of and we couldn't have that, now could we!!!

SueW, you could just refer her to this site to do the research herself!

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crumbscakeartistry Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:35pm
post #17 of 55

Love the idea of giving her a different recipe. She thinks you are sharing but they will never be as good as yours. It is not babyish if she does this all the time.

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etigg82 Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:36pm
post #18 of 55

When people ask me for a recipe, I always tell them I still experiment a lot (which is true), but I emphasize that its not just a good recipe that makes good cakes... I go over a few details.. like the baking strips, the way i mix it, the time I leave it in the pan, how I store it, simple syrup, leveling... non-bakers are not usually interested in all that. They may try to bake a cake on their own, but then they are dissapointed and come back to me to order a cake. icon_smile.gif

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Sugar_Plum_Fairy Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:37pm
post #19 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by SophieBelle

Thanks SugarPlumFairy! I feel stupid! I thought it was some kind of fondant/icing mixture I hadn't heard of and we couldn't have that, now could we!!!

SueW, you could just refer her to this site to do the research herself!




SophieB, you're welcome.

Also, I was going to give the same advice as SophieBelle, except just say "the internet" and not even mention CC by name. Guess my brain took a quick vacation cause I forgot to type that.

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kbrown99 Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:37pm
post #20 of 55

Truthfully, I don't mind giving out my recipes, because I usually ask for recipes. But I agree with the poster that said that even once they get the recipe, the person rarely bothers taking the time to do it. In addition, somehow, they can never get it quite like I make it. Probably because I usually add a pinch of this or that depending on the mood I'm in and there is something to be said for technique and talent. It appears the issue you're having isn't so much a secret recipe because you got the recipe from here and anyone with any internet or baking experience can find a recipe for royal icing. The issue is with having her copy you, like she's done so often in the past. (I had a friend like that. Way annoying). You could just tell her the truth (that you got the recipe off the internet - no need to elaborate which site) and the RI is just that. The artistry that goes into it is yours. I'll bet she can't duplicate that.

You could also be really honest and just say that this is something you are hoping to do as a business and would therefore rather not give out your recipes, techniques, etc.

Good luck though. I know it's really frustrating.

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freddyfl Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:38pm
post #21 of 55

So what if she has the recipe? Baking is an investment, maybe she won't want to put that kind of time and money into it once she finds out how hard it is. My feeling is, share the recipe. You didn't make it up, or if you don't want to share it, just tell her you found it online, let her do the searching. Besides, as annoying as it may seem to you, the fact that she wants to copy everything you do is a high compliment, she looks up to you.

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notjustcake Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:41pm
post #22 of 55

Hey don't let her come to your house to do anything together! I did that and it was a nightmare and I ended up buying everything!

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cocorum21 Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:46pm
post #23 of 55

You can give her a different recipe. Explain to her that the one that you use is a trade secret but hey here's one you can try.

Yeah I wouldn't let her come to your house to do anything. I did that a couple of weeks ago and now that person wants to start selling cakes too. icon_cool.gif And since she likes to copy you I would stay clear. But, like Freddyfl said, copying you truly is a compliment even if it is annoying. Much luck icon_smile.gif

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bonniesido Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:51pm
post #24 of 55

I think if you have told her you would give her the recipe then that is what you should do. Most of the time even with the same recipe no two people's baking tastes the same. After this if you don't want to share recipes be prepared when asked, and just say you don't give them out.

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SueW Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:54pm
post #25 of 55

So I have been thinking......... one of the first batch she saw before I found the NFSC recipe was actually done with a recipe from Williams sonoma with their royal icing. Maybe I just give her that one? It isn't really lying as I have used it before and she has seen pictures of those. I can just say " I use a few different recipes and this is the one I used for Maddie's cookies". How's that? What do you guys think? She is the type like cocorum21 said, the next thing I know she will have the "original" idea of selling them herself! Thanks for all your opinions, I don't know why but I am so bothered by this. I guess it is the first thing I have found that I really love to do and got the idea of selling full time someday and right away insecure people have to latch on to the idea!

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lionladydi Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:55pm
post #26 of 55

Maybe I am looking at this situation differently than most but the key word is "friend". Is she or isn't she your friend? If she is your friend then you should be completely honest with her. If you don't want to give it to her then tell her you don't want to give it to her. I certainly wouldn't want one of my friends lying to me about a recipe or giving me the wrong ingredients. That's just wrong!

Diane

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starra328 Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 6:56pm
post #27 of 55

I think you should say no you don't give out your recipes but offer to sell her a batch of the already made cookie dough and icing , that she doesn't have your recipe and she has the dough and icing to what she will with. I offer this when people ask for my cake recipes.

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KHalstead Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 7:00pm
post #28 of 55

just tell her it's the wilton roll out sugar cookie recipe! They're almost identical anyhow Wilton's just has more sugar! she might be like......oh never mind......I thought you had some secret recipe nobody knows?

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mconrey Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 7:15pm
post #29 of 55

If she wants to come over to "help" make the cookies, have everything done ahead of time. Since the dough has to chill, have the dough already rolled and chilled before she comes over. That way you can just tell your friend that you don't want her to get bored with waiting around - especially if your girls are going to be there too.

I did this with my friend and it worked out great. She got to learn how to make the cookies and cover them with MMF, but didn't get the recipes. Plus, she got to see how much time and effort really go into making the cookies. That might make her stop asking for the recipe! icon_biggrin.gif

But, if she does keep asking and you don't want to share your secret, I don't think there's anything wrong with giving her another recipe that you've used in the past. Really, how often will she make them?

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tdybear1978 Posted 3 Mar 2007 , 7:28pm
post #30 of 55

if you really don't want to give her the recipe tell her that you would be more than happy for her to come over and you all and the kids make them together and then (my dad does this) just have all of your ingredients already out and premeasured in bowls and then she has no idea how much of anything you put in them. I don't think that you should have to give your recipe out if you don't want to. I make a real good persian dessert pastry and I am constantly asked how do I get it so fluffly and still completely hollow inside and I just say that is my little secret if I told you then I would probably never see you again haha. (that and my dad would not be happy if I told) good luck to ya

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