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I just want to cry..... - Page 2

post #16 of 38
Amazing Cake!! Be sure to have a dessert too! icon_wink.gif
post #17 of 38
Awesome cake!! You did a great job on it. I would "eat" this one, too, but next time, BEFORE you make the cake--discuss how much it's going to cost you for supplies, etc. Heck--this exact same thing happened to me before--with my best friend--and when she walked out without paying me, I told her--Oh, btw, this is Danielle's present from me. There you have it.

Lisa
post #18 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by nanni

Why not chalk it up to a gift and learning experience. Don't let it become a rift between you guys-BUT the next time a situation comes up tell her up front that while you won't "sell" her the cake-you will charge her for supplies. I did a wedding cake for a dear friends daughter-she covered my expenses and delivery (while we were going anyway I had to take everything with me to another state and finish it all there). I am sorry your upset-give yourself a hug from CC!




I absolutely agree with nanni... I'm sorry for your loss but if you are afraid your friendship is not strong enough to go to her and tell her that you were expecting to atleast get paid for your materials then you have to really think how she will take it and is it worth it. I think it is a fabulous present. Nothing more special to give as a present than one that is made with your hands and given with love in your heart.

Lazy_Susan icon_wink.gif
"God will probably not be interested in how much we included in our day, but how much of our day included Him." - Allia Zobel-Nolan
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"God will probably not be interested in how much we included in our day, but how much of our day included Him." - Allia Zobel-Nolan
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post #19 of 38
Your cake looks great, I'll bet you'll get orders from people who see it, hopefully that will make up to cost of the cake.
post #20 of 38
That's a fantastic job!

I, too, bet you'll get some orders from some of her friends, family or guests.

My SIL never pays me for birthday cakes. She always only offers to pay for supplies etc. I turn down her offer and my nieces and nephews know that their cakes are their gifts from me. (And, they love them!) They remember the cakes waaay longer than they do the other gifts they receive).
post #21 of 38
Did you talk about payment before you made the cake?
I don't think its unusal that she assumed you wouldn't charge her (Though I think she should have asked or at the very least offered), since it wasn't mentioned before you made the cake, but I would most defintely count that as the gift, and be planning that lunch date with the two of you. I know with friends and family it can be awkward, because cakes can be really expensive to make not to mention time intensive, usually a lot more so then they realize.

I think the line, "I know you won't take my money..." would have bothered me more, because its an assumption, and bascially puts the oness on you to say, "Well actually I will!". When I tell people that a cake has taken me 4+ hours to make they look like this icon_eek.gif And I mean thats a SIMPLE cake! Your cake is absolutely gorgeous and its not hard to tell you put a lot of energy into it. icon_biggrin.gif
My Christmas Angels

Dad

Aug. 5, 1953 - Dec. 24 2005

Grandma

Jan. 7, 1915 - Dec. 29 2005


~James: my husband, my friend, my official taste tester~

www.CakesCanada.com
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My Christmas Angels

Dad

Aug. 5, 1953 - Dec. 24 2005

Grandma

Jan. 7, 1915 - Dec. 29 2005


~James: my husband, my friend, my official taste tester~

www.CakesCanada.com
Reply
post #22 of 38
I'm going to try this again..got a "Debug" error message earlier..

I want to re-think what I wrote in before. If she is a friend, then this will never happen again as you will talk it over and communication will be much better. (being true friends, this wouldn't have happened at all)
As far as lunch, it wouldn't matter where we went if she were a true friend, you'll go and enjoy the time together. I'd be happy going to McDonalds. It wouldn't be fair price for a cake, but it would give you time together with her.

It's funny how life throws you curves and allows you to really see things for what they are, appreciate what you have, and who you have in your life.
post #23 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by jscakes

...
It's funny how life throws you curves and allows you to really see things for what they are, appreciate what you have, and who you have in your life.



While this is good advice, it's almost un/impracticle to think this way, if the other person is seemingly willing to take advantage of you/your time. There's nothing friendly about that. It might sound nit-picky, but time is valuable, at least to me it is. Nothing in life is free, not even for family and friends anymore.

My favorite saying to people ALL the time - Communication is the most important thing to me, if you are my friend, then it should be important to you too.
hahaha, whatever.
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hahaha, whatever.
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post #24 of 38
I don't necessarily think the friend was trying to take advantage of her. I don't charge friends or family for cakes(though I do not have a business yet, so maybe my point of view is different). If I couldn't afford to make one, I would tell them at the time they asked how much I would need to cover costs, or what I would need for them to buy. We live paycheck to paycheck too so they would have to understand that.

My aunt made my wedding cake for free, she had to take two days off work to finish it, she even took classes to perfect her skills for it. While of course not everyone can afford to be that generous, I would hope she would have been able to tell me when I asked if she could do the cake, how much money she would need for it. If after the wedding she had said, "oh by the way, I need $300 for the cake", of course I would have been upset.

As someone who has recently lost loved ones, I understand what jscakes is saying...that cake isn't worth a damaged friendship. I didn't realize that it was a best friend, you should be able to tell your best friend anything, including that you can't afford to give her a cake for free. People can't read your mind, I am guilty of not being direct either, and then get upset when I don't get what I want. But its not fair to the person that I get upset because they didn't offer.

The night before my father passed, I really wanted to go see my parents. I hadn't seen my parents for almost two weeks, because of being busy with christmas shopping and whatnot, and missed them. I hinted around I wanted to go (I don't drive) but because I didn't want to bother my husband and was afraid he would get irritated, I never come out and asked and thought, "well I will see them tomorrow". That night my father died in his sleep of a cardiac arrest.

After, part of me was mad at my husband, because I thought, "well if you had offered to take me, then I would have saw him one last time." He would have taken me if I had asked. Obviously he didn't know I wanted to go, and it wasn't his fault. Deep down it was actually myself I was mad at.

Its really worth speaking up.
My Christmas Angels

Dad

Aug. 5, 1953 - Dec. 24 2005

Grandma

Jan. 7, 1915 - Dec. 29 2005


~James: my husband, my friend, my official taste tester~

www.CakesCanada.com
Reply
My Christmas Angels

Dad

Aug. 5, 1953 - Dec. 24 2005

Grandma

Jan. 7, 1915 - Dec. 29 2005


~James: my husband, my friend, my official taste tester~

www.CakesCanada.com
Reply
post #25 of 38
Beautiful cake btw! You did a fab job on it. Did you discuss the supply cost at all ahead of time? Or cost in anyway?? If not I would suggest you let it go. (although I think it's kind of rude for a friend to just assume that but it happens)

Not sure how much you have into the cake, if it's an amount you really need and just aren't going to be able to make it to pay day then definately talk to her. I am sure she would understand.

Don't feel bad, I made a similiar mistake once. I made a cake for a friend who told me she would pay me but I didn't ask her budget. I made a fancy black forest cake with filling and cherries, etc... and charged her $40. well that wasn't her budget, she was thinking $20. It worked out but was akward.... lesson learned though, LOL. If I had known I would have made a much simpler cake.

Amy
Amy in Alaska
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Amy in Alaska
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post #26 of 38
Thank you JamesSweetie;
I am so sorry for your tremedous loss, that is exactly what has brought me to what I had to say. I lost a friend recently. His family is like another family to me and I just realized how much I appreciate them, and how they feel towards me. So it's not worth losing that over a cake.
If I don't have the material to cover a cake, I ask for that. I'll be more than happy to do your cake if you'll bring over all the supplies I need. So far all of my friends have been 100% agreeable to this, and also to paying if I ask.

I'm not in this for a business, I truly enjoy it and if I GIVE something I've made special, it comes from my heart - which is so full I feel truly blessed and there is only room for more.
Besides which, it just gives me more practice!
post #27 of 38
I had this happen a couple of times. The first was a family member, I let that one slide. The second time though I called the friend and explained my situation. She was more than happy to reimburse me for the money Id spent to make the cake. Its an awful feeling to have to pay someone else to make a cake for them.

If youre out quite a bit of money Id call. Thats really the only reason I called my friend. No way was I eating almost $30 in expenses. The first cake though probably cost me a few dollars to make but I spent several hours working on it. It would have been nice to get a little something for my work. I learned my lesson after the second mishap. I let them know up front I plan to charge them for expenses only and I will call with that price after Ive bought everything.
post #28 of 38
I just saw your cake. It is amazing. While I personally can't imagine what your friend was thinking just walking away with the cake like that, I guess it depends on what was agreed on BEFORE the cake was made. Never assume someone is going to do the right thing. I would have been too stunned at the moment she dropped the "I'll buy you lunch" line to come up with a retort, but after reflecting, she was rude and very thoughtless, and not to mention insulting to you by doing that.

(Deep breath) Sorry about the rant. I'm not trying to attack your friend. I just feel for you because I never say anything either to people that pull stunts like that and then I sit there and wonder why I took so long to get irritated. You are too nice. icon_smile.gif I would be in the same situation. Definitely just tell people beforehand what you expect as payment and there won't be any awkwardness. You are a talented ARTIST. Your time was your gift. People should just learn to be more appreciative. Again, your cake is beautiful.

Good luck.
Angie
post #29 of 38
I have to go with everyone who said unless it was discussed before hand- what would you expect to get paid? Unless you do cakes you don't have a clue how difficult they are, its like painting-I think those who are good at it must come easy to them, like you"re born with the talent-I don't have a clue what it takes to paint. Personally I have to say the friend sounded gracious by extending the lunch-she didn't just grab the cake and bolt without mention of some type of compensation. When someone comes to my house to do work they always bring up the estimate part, I don't, but I also wouldn't have work done without knowing what its going to cost.
post #30 of 38
Oh my gosh thats a great cake. She should be jetting you somewhere for lunch! icon_biggrin.gif
Aunte Mame
"Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death."
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Aunte Mame
"Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death."
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