I was so looking forward to a little cake business because I could stay home and be with my son and earn a little doing something I love. But I am losing my nerve because I'm beginning to think it's not that great for a stay at home mom after all!! Am I the only one that thinks this? What have you all done to balance cakes and family??

On the few occasions I've actually had someone pay me for a cake, even though they were friends of mine, I started stressing because I was getting "paid" for it and it better be good! (it's not so bad when it's for a gift). I found that I got irritated with my family for bugging me while I was on the job. I would end up ignoring my son by putting on a video, or just counting down until naptime or bedtime! I may as well not be there at all! And when it comes to lunchtime, dinnertime, etc., not only does it interrupt my "groove" , I have to clean up to get the kitchen ready for the fam, and then completely sanitize everything again to get back into the cake! For the really big cakes, I just passed my son off to my husband for almost days at a time, and we all just got cranky. For those monster cake marathons, I always swore I wouldn't do it again, and then there I go again! My family is most important to me, so this stuff really makes me feel guilty and selfish!

Hopefully I don't sound too negative about this, I'm just trying to face reality -
How do you handle these issues, for those of you who are at home or are trying to juggle cakes and your precious time with family when you're home from work?

THANKS!

I know what you mean. I do cakes for free for my family and some friends, but I sold two cakes, and it stressed me out. I was the same way with my girls, I felt like I was ignoring them & being impatient with them. It's not for me. Maybe when they start school, it would be a good job, because you could be home when school is done, but you'll have all the rest of the day to yourself to make those cakes.

Good luck,

Denise

I, too, am a stay-at-home mom. My daughter is 8 and in 2nd grade and my son is 4. I usually bake the cake during the day (it doesn't take long) and do my decorating at night. Sometimes, I'll stay up until 1 a.m. or so. I'm just getting started (6 months into it). I don't advertise and just go word of mouth. I don't want tons of business because I need to be available to my son. I have to admit, December was crazy with orders but it has slowed down. I figure I'll take the next year and a half to get my business going and by that time, my son will be in school and I'll have more time to devote to my baking business!! I'm starting slow!

Julie

First I wouldnt get discouraged, you just need to find a balance that works for you.

I never take on more than i can chew, I started with a no more than 1 cake a week rule because in the beginning it would take me forever to make a cake. As I got faster and found that I could split my jobs up like making my frosting colors in advance I found that it helped. So then I added more and now Im at a 3-4 cake maximum rule. I do other stuff other the house and my daughter is in ballet and Im very involved with that. Besides I have health issues but this since Im at a comfortable level then I find my baking very relaxing.

I always work at night since my daughter is winding down and ready for bed.

hope this helps......

I only do for family and friends right now but I do the same thing as Julie. I bake during the day and let my son think he is my "cooker man"(that's what we call it when I need to cook and he "needs" to help-I just love that kid to death!!) meaning he sits with me and eats his snack while I get things together and he gets his own measuring cups and spoons to play with and then I decorate at night. I also get things for the icing measured out during the day as well and that makes getting it made so much easier later!

I agree with what the others have said too.

I wait until the kids go to bed.

Hang in there!! They'll grow up eventually!!
And, the more cakes you do, the faster you'll get!!

Your cakes are too gorgeous to give up now!!!!

Thanks for the encouragement and ideas! You're right, I think it would be PERFECT for when kids are in school. I'll just look forward to that, and in the meantime, enjoy doing cakes for fun (because when they're not for a wedding or paid, they really can be fun because there's less stress). Too bad the most I could handle at this rate is one a month!

I guess I'm the oddball here...I prefer to do my baking in the early morning, so I have the afternoons for family time, homework, dinner, etc. I too am a stay-home mom.

My orders vary, sometimes I will have no cakes for a couple of week, then I may have 3 orders for 1 day (this weekend!) I find it to be a stress-reliever to "zone-out" and have something else to focus on for a while.

On school mornings I get up at 6am, wake my daughter and turn on the oven, my cakes are baked by 8am at the latest, giving them a couple hrs to cool, and me, time for my son (5 but not yet in kindergarten) then I fix lunch, clean and decorate after lunch. I'm usually finished completely by the time my daughter gets off the school bus at 4pm.

You will find a schedule that works for you, it just takes a little time!

I can bake during the day and its not too hard...then I decorate after the kids go to bed and since I am a night owl, I can stay up until its done. If its a real big job my husband is happy I am making the money so he will take the kids out for dinner or watch the baby or do whatever I need to help.

So far though I have only had a few weekends that were super busy, but I have alot of dead times too. When the kids are all in school (several more years) I will have even more time to bake.

Gm I love the way ur schedule sounds. Mine is like the majority I bake during the day and decorate at night. I'm always up very late so I use that time to decorate. When my DD is with me she usually helps me I give her little things to do . I mayhave her rinse off spoons or cups she thinks shes washing dishes and she loves that. I of course have to rewash but still she thinks shes helping.

I too was very busy during christmas so I decided next year I would go ahead and not take orders during my DDs christmas break. So basicly if she's off then so is the cake business.

Well I wish I could be of assistance, but I don't have children...
My husband is very supportive of me and my work, and although I've barely began to sell my work, whenever I'm making a just because cake, he does not interfere and actually helps with whatever I need...He knows that on decorating day there is no food, and sometimes non when I bake if it's after work...He orders in for us
I can only begin to understand how you must be feeling as a mom...However, I think you should weigh in the pros and cons...
And in reality, it's not like if you'll be making a cake everyday of the week, so he will not be neglected everyday...Maybe you can have a nice sit down with DH and see how he can help deal with you child while your work.

You are very talented and I think it's worth the effort.

Hope you're able to find a balance as it is clear this is something you love and would like to do...

I have always worked outside the home and i have two children. It has gotten harder as they have gotten older to get the cakes down. When they were babies i would pack them in the high chair with a bag of icing and a cup cake, or some plastic cookie cutters and some fondant and let me go at it. So we were both making messes together. Now they are needing to run here and there and i have to watch thier schedules along with mine and my husbands. But by this time next year my oldest will be driving so he should be able to do some of the sports running that needs to be done all the time.

So as others have said you need to find a balance for yourself. If this is something you truly love, don't give it up completely, you are still you along with all the other hats you wear in a day, you need to not loose you or you may end up a very unhappy lady.

don't get discouraged. it will take awhile to find your 'groove' and find a system that works for you and your family. i have a 2yr old and felt horrible about all the time i was spending baking & decorating, but as others have mentioned, involve your son. when I'm mixing batter or icing, my son pulls up a chair and stands next to me. I give him a bowl, a spoon, and some stuff to throw in his bowl to mix. He LOVES it!!! He is soooo proud to tell daddy that he is 'tooking'!! When I'm decorating a cake, he will sit at the table w/me and I give him a small amount of fondant (he calls it 'smash it')....a rolling pin and some cookie cutters. I showed him how to 'smash' the fondant w/the rolling pin and then use the cookie cutter to make shapes. that keeps him occupied for awhile, till he starts eating it . I still do MOST of my decorating after he is bed, but for stuff that I need the extra time for, I just sit him next to me and we actually have fun. Usually have a bigger mess to clean up in the end, but I LOVE this 'special' time we have together.

hang in there, you'll find something that works for you!!

From what you've said in your post, your really should not take on a lot of orders. It's just stressing you out and taking time away from your children. Not everyone is a nightowl (I'm certainly not) and can stay up till 2am decorating cakes. And, not every child is going to see decorating as special time with mommy.

Maybe you could find a neighbor girl to come to the house and watch the kids while you decorate? It would be worth giving a tween (10-13) a little spending money for playing with your kid so you could have some uninterrupted time to focus on the decorating.

Good luck

I work from home ... that was my dream so I could be home for the kids ... well... the dream and the reality are not always what you think... I find that my work gives me flexibility to be arround the kids more ... but that does not mean that I can have the kids with me while I'm working... I feel very guilty when I have to put in a video to get my work acomplished. I've held off on promoting cake decorating as a business because I have a hard time figuring out a balance .... since I do have a part time job (18 to 20 hrs a week) .... I find that decorating is very time consuming and I don't see the income potential for the amount of time I have to invest ... maybe I'm just too slow .... for now, I'm being very selective on the paid orders that I do. I love the idea of having the kids do their own thing while I'm decorating .. I'm going to try that .. I can give them cookies or their own mini cake they can work on

.... to answer your question ... I do see the challenges for you and I hope it helps to see that you are not alone

Thanks for all the great ideas! I never really considered involving my son because I figured he would contaminate everything. But he's got a high chair, and he loves cake almost as much as I do! I'll see how this all goes. You're all right, it's all about balance, and having something that is personally enriching and fun is priceless, especially when you spend your life with a toddler! Thanks for the tips on how to keep it fun and lower-stress. You're all the best.
...and yes, it is SO nice to know I'm not alone here.

I hear you on the kid front. Cake decorating with kids can be hard. (not to mention the stay at home mom thing can be hard too although I enjoyed it and miss it now but needed a change after two years of it)

When I first started decorating I was such a grumpy person when I was doing a cake. My son would hang off my legs or my daugther would go running by and bump me or the table as I am trying to write Happy Birthday or whatever and it would frustrate me.

I stopped doing cakes for about 8 months because they were just so young and it wasn't fun with those frustrations. And I didn't like being grumpy!

Now they are almost 6 and 3 1/2 and it's easier. Plus with more practice I am not so grumpy, I don't have to concentrate as hard, I am a little bit faster now so that helps too.

Even now thought it is difficult with little kids....I can't count the number of times they have licked the icing off a cake I left to close to the edge of the counter, poked holes in fondant etc etc... (not to mention the dog eating the cake)

I have sold a few cakes but am not looking to do that right now. So I am practicing and know that one day when they are in school I will be ready to start doing cakes full time. Get a legal kitchen etc...

Plus to be honest, all though I can do good work, it's not consistent. I need more practice and experience. I can be patient a little longer.

You know that saying: everything has a season? My season will come. The key is to be ready for it when it does come.

I'm a stay at home mom too. I'm with JennT, you need to do something to keep yourself going. It isn't neglectful at all for you to put on a video and expect your children to entertain themselves. You'd actually be doing them a disservice if you never taught them to be their own company and that the world doesn't revolve around them!!! My kids have learned not to be underfoot when Mommy is doing cake. They actually get pretty excited when someone picks it up, they're proud of me. My daughter is 6, and if I'm doing a cake for a kid around her age I'll ask her what she thinks of my design so she feels she's a helper that way. But really, if it makes you happy then stick with it and remember that we are all our own worst critic! THe cakes we think aren't so hot are usually the ones the customers rave about! Only we know where the icing smudged or what part of the border got crooked!

I am a stay at home mom of a 2 year old boy. I started doing cakes in September for family and friends but have had 3 paid cakes in the past. I too have realized that when a cake is for family its fun and doesn't really get to me. When I have a cake for a customer, I basically baracade myself in my kitchen and my son watches Barney over and over again. I feel awful about this and have actually given up doing paid cakes for at least the next few months. I just dont like feeling negligent.

I've tried to involve my son and it has resulted in him thinking he can actually stick his fingers in the cake. I tell him no and he cries. I don't like hurting his feelings either. I just don't know where the happy medium is. So yes, I do feel your pain, you are not alone.
I have also been blessed by the help and encouragement by others on this site. Its the best site ever.

your cakes are soooo pretty, please do not give up, if you need to slow it down, then do so. I do not think you should be discouraged.

APcakes, your work is just beautiful! I love your giraffe cake, so cute!

I meant to add also that finding a balance is never easy. You have to do that for yourself though. I agree with whoever said figure out how many cakes you can do comfortably in a week and stick to it. : )

I have a friend who's been doing cakes from home for a lot longer than I've been alive, she's kind of a cake mentor to me. She used to deliver giant wedding cakes (back when people did those monstrous, multi teired, fountained, bridged things) with her 3 kids in the back seat of her station wagon. She said they just learned that this was Mommy's job and never had a problem. I think cakes are one of the most flexible things you can do from home - because if the kids are having a bad day or if you have places to be you can just fit it into your schedule. Once you relax, and the more you do, you'll be faster and more comfortable - with kids there or not!

I'm a SAHM, too, to an almost three year old and another one on the way in a few weeks. I do cakes now but only for family and friends and if I do "charge" anything it's a night of babysitting so my hubby and I can go out without paying the very expensive going rate around here.

I haven't yet been stressed about a cake (a little maybe, but not to the point where I was crabby), because I know it's no money involved and it's for people that I know. My husband and I have talked about doing this as a business, but I don't want the stress now. The money would be nice, but it honestly wouldn't amount to enough to be worth the stress on me and our child.

So, I guess my only thought is to figure out what your actual profit would be and then decide if that's worth your feelings of not being the Mommy you want to be for your son when you've got cakes to work on. If the money is significant enough that it enables your family to do more things, cushion your savings, take a fantastic vacation, maybe it's worth it.

Good luck and no matter what - don't give up entirely - your cakes are too fantastic to stop!

this is a good post for me to read. My husband and I are planning kids. I often ponder how I will do cakes and have babies running around and work full time. I decided that if I am doing paid cakes at that point, I'm getting a babysitter for blocks of time (probably my mom or my husband) so that I can work on the cakes.
I just know that doing a cake requires full concentration; I admire people who have kids and can still do the cakes at the same time.
AP cakes, I hope you keep it up, though, becasue your work is really wonderful. I love the giraffe cake the best!

Another thing I thought of is this - If you're selling cakes (licsensed or not) you are essentially in business for yourself...whether you're doing it from your home or you rent kitchen time or have a shop. You are your own boss...soooo - be just that! lol Don't let the customer rule your life...or the drive to have X amount of customers or money dictate what you sacrifice for them. There is nothing nor any amount of $ that is worth (to any of us) sacrificing time with your kids or doing things that make you feel neglectful of them.

That's why I do things the way I described in my earlier post. I say no to people the way I do because, the way I am - if I just say 'no-sorry-not able to do it' and the client starts with the 'ohhhh no..where am I gonna get a cake' schpeel, then I start feeling guilty and all. I start rationalizing that the kids can do without me & entertain themselves for a while on such and such days or I start convincing myself it's worth staying up untill the wee hours for...and we all no that's not always (or even frequently) the case...lol. Sleep is priceless, IMHO But since I started telling people 'I'm booked' or something like that, I've never had one person start with the above mentioned "schpeel". They pretty much just say 'oh no...well, I guess I should've called you earlier' and then they start talking to me right then about the next occasion they'll be needing a cake for. I've booked many cakes a month or more in advance too and that helps with planning family time and figuring out early on if I can get a babysitter or have MIL/FIL watch my two youngest ones for a couple of hours on the day I need to do the cake(s).

But here's my best advice.....GET A TRAMPOLINE!!!!!!!! HA! Really, I'm not kidding...lol. We got the kids one for Christmas and ever since then I can't keep them off of it! It's a great babysitter! Plus they get really worn out, go to bed by 7:45pm, latest, and sleep like rocks! They even are on it after the sun goes down sometimes, since we have lights up in our trees that shine down and light up the backyard like a baseball stadium...lol. It really frees me up when the boys (3 & 5) are busy & happy....too bad I've only had 2 cakes since Christmas. The past few weeks I could've done 15! lol

To all of you moms with young children at home, I empathize with you. I've been a stay-at-home mom since having my first baby...daycare was never an option for us. I also homeschooled for a number of years. It's hard when they're little, and you really need to enjoy every wonderful moment that they're small, but remember...the future comes very fast, and when they're older, like my kids (14, 13, and 11), they can make a quick batch of icing for you, make parchment bags, make ganache, wash & dip strawberries, load up all the tips and couplers you need, and mix icing colors, among tons of other things!

My 14 year old daughter especially loves helping me...it really gives her a sense of pride to be able to participate.

~ Sherri

I know what ya mean about finding balance.. Boy I have a 15,13,12 and a 4yr. old.. Brian (4yr old) has forgotten what naps are...(sigh) And a hubby.. BUT when I get into something I know I can't handle, I just did it because it was the right thing to do.. My husband says "how can you say you looooovvveee baking cakes, when all the time your decorating it your cursing like a sailor".. OOPS! But I do love it, I guess I have not yet found my balance... (looking under bed, in cabinets) I'll find it one day!!! Until then, wish me luck!