On Saturday I made my S-I-L take me to the stores to buy my ingredients for the cake I'm making for the baby shower she is planning.

I don't know why, but I started feeling guilty after she spent $35 at Albertson's, $20 at Costco, and then $20 at Wal-Mart. I didn't even want to ask her to take me to Michaels to buy my cake boards, drums and dowels because I already felt bad.

It's for a three-tiered and extra-cake-on-the-side cake that's supposed to serve 160. It's going to be covered in fondant.

How do I stop feeling guilty? Do any of you ever feel this way?

I have felt guilty too. I've felt like I am taking money away from my family that they could use. My husband's response is that no activity has made me as happy as cake decorating and that it is worth it.

If she is doing it willingly, I think you have to stop feeling guilty. If it is really bothering you, sit down with her and talk to her about it!

Rachel

That is a HUGE shower cake!

I understand the feeling guilty, but we really shouldn't! If she knew that you were going to end up spending more money on a cake for her, she's the one who should feel guilty!

Looks like she spent $75 for a cake that is supposed to feed 160. I'd say she's getting a deal, not to mention your time and effort. She may be family, and it's hard to take their money sometimes, but she probably understands that she would not be able to find a better deal anywhere else.

You could have let her at least chip in for the dowels and cake boards, since those are items you can probably reuse.

I think its good that she is seeing how much money goes into a cake before you even factor in your time, gives your family new respect for what you do rather than thinking its just the cost of a box of cake mix.

Don't feel guilty, I'm sure she is thinking "gosh i didnt know how much it cost just for the materials" and when you donate cakes for family they appreciate it that much more.

I used to feel guilty about asking friends/family for some basic supplies if they wanted a cake for a function (I usually make basic birthday cakes for free). But they have told me they can get exactly what design they want, in the flavors/filling combo they want and the colors they want. They said they like the way my cakes taste and wouldn't ask me to do them if they didn't. I made my good friend a birthday cake for her husband that had those creepy Wilton clowns looking drunk, holding beer cans!
Where else would she get a custom cake like that! The entire family thought it was a perfect cake and was the talk of the party. That was worth some basic supplies for her.

May I add that it's not like she's low on cash. She's the CEO for her regional bank branch!

But IDK, I still felt iffy about it. Especially when I chose the Ghiradelli w. chocolate bars over the store brand bag of chips.

Oh, don't feel guilty. And, when she has a slice of cake and it is DElish...she'll know why she spent the money.

I usually discount my cakes for family, but I still charge.

And to be honest, would you ever make a cake for 160 people and only charge 75.00? It is a great deal!

Have fun making the cake.
Jen

We women are our own worst enemy. We whine about how much money we're not making, then we whine when we do them for cost, then we whine when we do them for free ..... and all of this whining is at our own behalf, not because someone brow-beat us into it.

This is all tongue-in-cheek, of course ... want to make that clear before someone took me TOO seriously!

$75 for a cake that serves 160. At only a lousy $2 a slice, she just got a $320 cake for 75 bucks.

Now WHAT was it you were feeling guilty about????

Did SIL comment on the spending or say she didn't think it would be as much? Is SIL paying for your time too of just supplies? Did SIL ask you to make the cake?

My brother when he pays me to do a cake almost always gives me a $5 tip on top of the price. And there are times when I will tell him the price is less than $5 but that is because he has always supported me.

Everyone in my family makes more (a lot more) money than me, and frankly I don't have have the funds to make free cakes for them. I don't charge them super high prices but I make it worth my time as well as the cost of product.

SIL should understand that the cake is not a small cake, and I'd hope she would want you to use the best. If she didn't she could have suggested other wise.

If it is really bothering you ask her about it. Let her know that you aren't trying to take advantage of her but that you want to give her the best cake that you can. And you can always include something extra on the cake for her. Doesn't have to be something expensive, just something a little above and beyond what she is expecting.

160 * $2/serving = $320....

$75 / 160 = 47 CENTS

wow...a bargain by any measure.

and of course, it's also your gift for the shower too....isn't it. (you labor cost!!! even at minimum wage in CA -- $7.50....and at least 5 -- tho more like 8 hours -- that's $40 to $60 in labor -- a pricey shower gift!)

so

N O !!!

don't feel guilty at all.

I ALWAYS feel guilty no matter what. I hate it, even when I charge my friends less than half price and make a loss on the cake I feel extremely guilty and think later that I should have charged them less!!

Sometimes I feel guilty then I begin to think why give a discount, they also buy cakes from grocery store, etc.

stop. just STOP! you are doing her a FAVOR - you shouldn't pay for the priviledge. making the cake (even if you enjoy it) takes time away from stuff you could otherwise be doign to benefit yourself, your family, etc. Absolutely it is NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to pay for the ingredients!

rosiecakes made a good point. it never hurts for people who don't do cakes to see all the money it takes for supplies and ingredients. Now if they could see how much time it takes...i really don't think there would ever be any issues! lol

I only make cakes for my family, and I have a big family. They always want to know what they can buy for me. I tell them not a thing because this is my gift. Now, I feel guilty for this before I make the cake. Somehow between the first and fifth batch of icing I start getting comfortable with the idea! I have a problem with making huge cakes!

It's natural for you to feel a little guilty, Nick. BUT it's a good thing she's learning what things cost.
I'll bet she'll be telling all sorts of people about the cost of these things, and that will help you in the long run. It will make others around you more aware of what they are asking when they say "Will you make a cake for___"

you need to do what YOU feel comfortable with. If you don't feel right about taking more more money from her, then don't. And just enjoy making the cake. But if it will bother you in the end that she didn't cover all expenses, then don't feel guilty!