In 8 years, this is my first couple to break up before their wedding! The bride told me by email and I didn't know what to reply.

Of course, their wedding wasn't until next Fall...so the deposit isn't an issue. They will get it back 100%.

Has anyone had this happen??? I need some advice before I open my mouth and my foot goes in! What do you say?


My friend said..."Tell her she offered him the wrong finger!"
Nice...but no way!!

hee hee I don't know what you would say, but I have actually seen your friends words printed out on an "officail breakup announcement" LOl

Maybe just a quick sorry to hear that would suffice?

Good luck

Say that you are sorry for what happened but it's better that it happened now then after, when there could be children involved and more ppl could be hurt. Then i would say, "Good Luck in the future and call me for the next one "

I agree, just a quick sorry for his loss and refund the deposit.

...I would be very careful what you say because they might just get back together!!

oooooooooh....that's a point I never even considered!!!

You could say.

How about a cake to celebrate!

I think just a very simple "I'm very sorry" would be best.

"I am sorry to hear the recent news, but best wishes for the future."

Very sweet and simple.. " Dear (whatever), I am sorry to hear about your break up.. Sometimes god works in mysterious ways.. Hope to hear from you again. Please call me to set up a time to return your deposit.. "

I would give a very simple sorry to hear that. Like someone else said just becareful what you say they could get back together again. That happened to my neighbors across the street. They canceled thier wedding about 1 month before the date. Lost a lot of deposits because of the timing. They were seperated for about 3 months got back together and just got married last month. It took them breaking off the first time to realize that they did belong together.

without starting a huge debate...i just have to ask...when is politics correct and god wrong

My advice would be to think about what you would want someone to say to you in this situation. I would keep it short and sweet without involving yourself too much.

I like aliciaL_77's response:

And then add a line about the deposit.

That's what I would want someone to say to me

I agree with keeping it short and simple and I agree with ge978, AliciaL_77's response is perfect with the addition of setting up a time for returning deposit. The would-be bride and/or groom will appreciate your graciousness and most likely keep you in mind for the future.

Flayvurdfun - I had a customer do that to me quite a while ago. The customer was actually a co-worker. The customer told me that her grandmother, who was ill (she had to throw that in there), had already ordered her a cake from a bakery and there was no way to get out of it. It was a lie. She hired a different co-worker to make the cake. I ended up finding out because my best friend had gone to the wedding and slipped up by telling me that the cake so-and-so made was terrible and mine would have been much better. I would have been a lot less upset if the customer had just told me she found someone else to make the cake for her.

I'm with vanna49..so, god is not "politically correct"??

INTERESTING CONCEPT

Cake_Princess, I'm going to step in here for you for a minute, I hope that's okay.

I didn't take it mean she was implying that God isn't politically correct. I think she meant more the fact that everyone has different beliefs and keep your personal beliefs separate from your business so as not to drive away any customers who don't share your belief. Unfortunately, I don't even feel comfortable wishing anyone a Merry Christmas anymore because I don't want to offend anyone. How sad is that? I do believe in God and I do celebrate Christmas, although I don't go to church. I don't want anyone to tell me I'm wrong because of that. So I know how others who don't necessarily believe what I do must feel when I say Merry Christmas. I'll just stick to Happy Holidays.

And also, when writing God and any reference to Him (He, Him, etc) the first letter should always be capitolized. Don't get upset about someone saying it's not politically correct, if you aren't showing the Lord respect by capitolizing His name.

Now, I'm sorry if I've offended anyone. I guess I woke up on the grumpy side of the bed this morning. From here on out, my posts will not contain any negativity whatsoever.

rvallee

i agree with you

I think that its not so much what we bleive but not to upset any one else.........

I agree that it's nice to not intentionally upset/offend/annoy others, but just remember that there are people out there who think that their beliefs should be allowed or accepted over others. I won't name religions or anything, but there are some that are recently being catered to and we are all expected to accept them and allow their traditions, customs, or whatever, while God and/or Christianity is pushed under the rug and deemed as overbearing or offensive when He or Christianity is observed/acknolwedged/respected. Not wanting to upset others is what's gotten at least the US where it is today, in the way of beliefs. It seems people go out of their way to accept and be respectful of just about any belief other than Christianity or God.....strange. If someone were conveying their sympathy to me and said something like...."Allah works in mysterious ways" I would not take offense to it at all. That's their belief and they're just letting me know they care....not trying to OFFEND or UPSET me with the mention of their god's name. I feel more people should get the chips off their shoulders and develop slightly thicker skin...one person & their beliefs is no more special than the next. So, Antonia74....say what you FEEL for this young lady....and don't worry about being PC! If we're all too careful all the time about the words we choose and overthink everything so as not to upset someone and their beliefs, then eventually NOTHING will be sincere anymore...only contrived...we're pretty much there already.

Sorry to rant....I usually steer clear of this kind of conversation. But with not hearing one person wish a MERRY CHRISTMAS while out shopping, etc. over the past few weeks, & watching people flinch when I did so...well, this just struck a nerve. I didn't intend to offend & this isn't directed at any one person's comment, just the whole God/PC thing...and remember....it's JMO... Thanks for tolerating my venting!

u really cant say much just say ur sorry to hear that and give her back her money..

wow, as usual, things get off topic quickly! Antonia, I agree with all the people who say, "keep it simple". Whatever you say, I am sure it will be done with compassion and understanding. The ex-bride will surely remember you for when she does marry the right guy.

JennT, I agree with a lot of what you're saying. I wouldn't be offended if anyone said "Allah blesses you" or anything of that nature at all. But some people would be for whatever reason. I think that if Antonia74 feels it's right to say "God works in mysterious ways" she has every right and shouldn't worry about it. I personally wouldn't say it but that is me. I'm more for saying the "Everything happens for a reason" type of thing, but I'd even leave that out in this situation. I'd say it to a friend in a heartbeat but not to a customer that I don't know very well. It's just too personal and I'm their cake decorator, not a close friend who's there to offer comfort.

My only reason for speaking up on this subject was to give Cake_Princess some back up. It appeared that she was starting to get some negative reaction for the PC thing. I didn't take it to mean she thought talking about God was wrong, just that you have to be careful what you say to whom. Religious beliefs are a very personal thing. I don't discuss any personal issues with customers or anyone I'm not completely comfortable with. Her opinion was to leave it out. She's entitled to it.

Merry Christmas JennT. I hope you hear that more often now

Say "Does that mean I can date him now?"
This will make her realize what a good catch he is and she run back to him to keep all the other "potentials" away. Believe me, she'll thank you for it later.

Dale, that's the best idea I've heard! And it will also give you the cake order again. It's win/win!

dale...the devil works in evil ways...through the mind of dale!
Too funny!

on your childs birthday do you say happy birthday or happy holliday

If you are asking me vanna49, I say Happy Birthday. For me that's natural. For others it may not be. Happy Birthday and Happy Holidays are hardly the same issue.

I happen to work with a woman who is a Jehovah's Witness (did I spell that right) and from my limited knowledge of that religion, they do not celebrate holidays, birthdays etc. So I do not wish her a Happy Birthday because that is her belief. I do celebrate birthdays, anniversarys, Christmas, Easter, New Years and many others so I do wish my son, husband, step-children, other family and friends Happy all of those. With customers, I don't get personal unless they do.

As I stated earlier, my only reason for posting a response was to stick up for Cake_Princess. It doesn't mean I don't want to wish anyone a Merry Christmas, I just don't want to impose my beliefs on other people, so Happy Holidays is suffice for me. If you want to wish people Merry Christmas, more power to you. I think it's nice to hear it and I welcome it. If it is said to me, I say it right back at ya.