Joined: Jan 11, 2005
Posts: 2270
Location: Maryland
Birthday: Jan 12
Posted:
Thu Jun 18, 2009 6:35 am
margaretb wrote:
thecakemaker wrote:
I raised mine to be polite and to know the difference between right and wrong.
Ah, well, there you go. I'm raising mine to be rude and evil.
Not really. Surprising as it may be, I am also aiming for polite and moral children.
Clearly, we have different ideas about appropriate behaviour. One person might feel that if a child has been told "no touch" and then touches, this is a rude child who does not know the difference between right and wrong. Another person might think that this is a child who still lacks impulse control, and that this is a behavioural issue, not a moral issue.
I can't imagine anyone in my family going to someone's house and saying, "have at 'er kids, it's all yours and if they didn't want you into it, they should have put it away before we came". But I also can't imagine anyone in my family inviting a family with young kids over and NOT doing what they could to make the visit more pleasant for their guests.
Sorry - I didn't realize you were turning this into a personal attack. If you feel the need to quote me - include the entire quote where I also say that my child isn't perfect. Also, don't put words into my mouth - I never said you were raising yours to be rude and evil. I'm sure you know exactly what I mean -
whatawildworld Regular Member
Joined: Apr 16, 2009
Posts: 155
Posted:
Thu Jun 18, 2009 11:52 am
I get compliments all the time for my kids behavior, I love it! Please allow me to brag for a second!! Just monday I took my 5 year old to get her shots for school this year and it being summer time and my DH at work, I also took the 8 year old twin boys, and the 3 month old!
I had to help my daughter pee in a cup, so I sat my big boys down and handed the more calm one the baby and said "be VERY careful". When I got back one of the doctors I don't know came in to tell me how well behaved my Kids, especially the (ADHD having) twins are!!
I always tell them "thank you, I wouldn't have it any other way!!"
And OP Yes I charge to come back and fix cakes. Once I leave it is their responsibility or if they choose to pick it up and call me to come fix it I charge mileage and $25 on up, depending on the damage and what the repair looks like! It is cheaper to just have me deliver!
marinewifejones Newbie
Joined: Dec 30, 2008
Posts: 13
Location: Beaufort,SC
Posted:
Fri Jun 19, 2009 8:31 am
I have to laugh at the comments made by those who dont have kids.
I have a 2 1/2 year old and an 11 month old who I watch like a hawk if we are close to any type of food that I dont want them putting their hands into. When I am making cakes at home they are on the other side of the gate, in their highchairs or asleep so that they cant come mess up what I am working on.
I deffinatly would have charged for the correction seeing as the child was allowed to get to it TWICE.
Mensch Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 19, 2009
Posts: 684
Location: The Diogenes Club
Posted:
Fri Jun 19, 2009 12:33 pm
Urk. I hate kids.
I cringe when they come into my store!
SJ169 Frequent Member
Joined: Mar 20, 2009
Posts: 433
Location: Maple Ridge ,British Columbia, Canada
Birthday: Aug 31
Posted:
Fri Jun 19, 2009 12:51 pm
LOL i love this topic!!
I dont have kids but! i do have a little brother and when I am out with him I watch him like a hawk! and i would never bring him to a shower of any kind!!
Now my story about kids that are not being watched is not to do with cakes but I have to tell!
Ok I have a little tea cup yorkie (the one in my picture) now he is my baby litterally! he has a little stroller for when we go shopping (you can laugh if you want) but i love it! anywho i was in a department store the other day and these two little kids probably 5 and 6ish are running around (no parents in sight!) and one of them comes right up to Winstons stroller (my puppies name) and just grabs him out of the stroller to play with him!!! I couldnt believe it!! First off how did those kids now that winston wasnt some mean little dog that was going to bite them. Whenever my brother see's a dog (big or small) he always ask's if its friendly before trying to pet it!
anywho theres my little rant!!
AverageMom Frequent Member
Joined: Mar 08, 2009
Posts: 280
Location: Canada
Posted:
Fri Jun 19, 2009 12:55 pm
"I can't imagine anyone in my family going to someone's house and saying, "have at 'er kids, it's all yours and if they didn't want you into it, they should have put it away before we came". But I also can't imagine anyone in my family inviting a family with young kids over and NOT doing what they could to make the visit more pleasant for their guests."
No, most parents don't do this, but there ARE parents who say "If you have it in reach, it's fair game". I have two kids (5 and 7) and I teach other ones all day long. If parents teach their children from birth to respect over people, these problems don't happen! My kids would never dare touch food that wasn't on their plates. And they know enough to respect the property of others!
chrissypie Regular Member
Joined: May 20, 2008
Posts: 104
Location: Patchogue, New York
Posted:
Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:19 pm
As a mom of an 8, 7 and just turned 3 year old, I feel like I am able to contribute to this discussion. It has taken me aback. I definitely know about these hippie dippie parents that are spoken of, the ones that let their little monsters do whatever they want for fear it will destroy their soul if they are disciplined. However, there is no mention of the parent, ( this would be me) who does her damndest all the time to discipline properly instill manners, explain why we have manners, why we don't touch what doesn't belong to us, respecting others things, other peoples home, etc. only to have the children completely ignore this while out. THe older ones are much better now, the little guy however... will be the death of me. And my daughters being 16 months apart, when they were toddlers it was a nightmare. It isn't always the parent, and if you have more than one, you can't be everywhere. I have too made a cake, spent hours on it, only to have my naughty son swipe his hand across the top of the icing. He certainly got punished, but I do not think it is anything I did to cause him to do this other than pick a bad spot for the cake. As did the person who put the belly cake in reach of small children. Kids do touch things they aren't supposed to, that is part of learning, exploring, so I believe things we don't want totally messed up, should be moved. My kids can be naughty, they were certainly destructive when they were small, but they are also very loving, very sweet and very intelligent. I like to think they got that from me as well. Not everyone has the neccessary skills to parent. I know I have felt at the end of my emotional tether at times. No one gives you a manual for kids, but they will tell you how to wipe their butts. No one tells you how to make a strong willed child listen, short of hitting them. And for those who choose not to hit, it is a matter of figuring out, painstakingly, what works. I too have gotten looks. But I will never judge another mother with a child that doesn't behave. No one WANTS bad kids. Just remember, that mom may have no support system. You can't know everyones circumstance. So if a kids runs into you at Walmart, why not think about someone other than yourself.
margaretb Frequent Member
Joined: Jul 04, 2008
Posts: 473
Location: Alberta
Posted:
Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:54 pm
thecakemaker wrote:
margaretb wrote:
thecakemaker wrote:
I raised mine to be polite and to know the difference between right and wrong.
Ah, well, there you go. I'm raising mine to be rude and evil.
Not really. Surprising as it may be, I am also aiming for polite and moral children.
Clearly, we have different ideas about appropriate behaviour. One person might feel that if a child has been told "no touch" and then touches, this is a rude child who does not know the difference between right and wrong. Another person might think that this is a child who still lacks impulse control, and that this is a behavioural issue, not a moral issue.
I can't imagine anyone in my family going to someone's house and saying, "have at 'er kids, it's all yours and if they didn't want you into it, they should have put it away before we came". But I also can't imagine anyone in my family inviting a family with young kids over and NOT doing what they could to make the visit more pleasant for their guests.
Sorry - I didn't realize you were turning this into a personal attack. If you feel the need to quote me - include the entire quote where I also say that my child isn't perfect. Also, don't put words into my mouth - I never said you were raising yours to be rude and evil. I'm sure you know exactly what I mean -
My apologies, the cakemaker. I will rephrase the first two paragraphs: "We all try to raise our children to be polite and to know the difference between right and wrong", which is what I meant but erroneously thought would be funnier said the other way.
I also apologize because you are right, it is getting too personal. I agree with you that the parent is responsible for the child. What I am trying to say is that EVEN THOUGH the parent is responsible for the chid, it is helpful to create an environment where it is easier for the child to behave (e.g. moving breakables out of the way). And probably in my head I have gotten you mixed up a little with my SIL's mother who, like you, does not allow her things to be moved, but UNLIKE YOU, INSISTS that the children visit her at her house (not for any compelling reason like a mobility issue -- the mother travels often enough to my SIL's city for pleasure, she just doesn't want to "waste" her city time at her daughter's house), and then is angry at the toddler and my SIL when the toddler acts like a toddler and touches things DESPITE my SIL's best efforts to prevent this. Clear as mud, I suppose.[/i]
Criola Junior Member
Joined: Aug 15, 2008
Posts: 73
Posted:
Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:58 pm
chrissypie wrote:
As a mom of an 8, 7 and just turned 3 year old, I feel like I am able to contribute to this discussion. It has taken me aback. I definitely know about these hippie dippie parents that are spoken of, the ones that let their little monsters do whatever they want for fear it will destroy their soul if they are disciplined. However, there is no mention of the parent, ( this would be me) who does her damndest all the time to discipline properly instill manners, explain why we have manners, why we don't touch what doesn't belong to us, respecting others things, other peoples home, etc. only to have the children completely ignore this while out. THe older ones are much better now, the little guy however... will be the death of me. And my daughters being 16 months apart, when they were toddlers it was a nightmare. It isn't always the parent, and if you have more than one, you can't be everywhere. I have too made a cake, spent hours on it, only to have my naughty son swipe his hand across the top of the icing. He certainly got punished, but I do not think it is anything I did to cause him to do this other than pick a bad spot for the cake. As did the person who put the belly cake in reach of small children. Kids do touch things they aren't supposed to, that is part of learning, exploring, so I believe things we don't want totally messed up, should be moved. My kids can be naughty, they were certainly destructive when they were small, but they are also very loving, very sweet and very intelligent. I like to think they got that from me as well. Not everyone has the neccessary skills to parent. I know I have felt at the end of my emotional tether at times. No one gives you a manual for kids, but they will tell you how to wipe their butts. No one tells you how to make a strong willed child listen, short of hitting them. And for those who choose not to hit, it is a matter of figuring out, painstakingly, what works. I too have gotten looks. But I will never judge another mother with a child that doesn't behave. No one WANTS bad kids. Just remember, that mom may have no support system. You can't know everyones circumstance. So if a kids runs into you at Walmart, why not think about someone other than yourself.
Chrissy:
I couldn't agree with you more. As a mother of 3 also...14,12 and 2 I can certainly understand. My 2 older ones were so good, and when I saw other kids act up I was always so quick to point the finger at the parent....until my 2 year old was born.....GOOD LORD....I lost count of how many times I've asked her not touch and she did anyway...how many times she stuck her little fingers in a cake I was working on despite the fact that she was just punished for touching it, when we are out I watch her like a hawk......REALITY IS you cannot contrl them at that age...once they pass 3 that's a different story...lol.I do firmly beleive that a babyshower is not a place for children, however not everyone has a babysitter.
Liz
margaretb Frequent Member
Joined: Jul 04, 2008
Posts: 473
Location: Alberta
Posted:
Fri Jun 19, 2009 3:09 pm
chrissypie wrote:
As a mom of an 8, 7 and just turned 3 year old, I feel like I am able to contribute to this discussion. It has taken me aback. I definitely know about these hippie dippie parents that are spoken of, the ones that let their little monsters do whatever they want for fear it will destroy their soul if they are disciplined. However, there is no mention of the parent, ( this would be me) who does her damndest all the time to discipline properly instill manners, explain why we have manners, why we don't touch what doesn't belong to us, respecting others things, other peoples home, etc. only to have the children completely ignore this while out. THe older ones are much better now, the little guy however... will be the death of me. And my daughters being 16 months apart, when they were toddlers it was a nightmare. It isn't always the parent, and if you have more than one, you can't be everywhere. I have too made a cake, spent hours on it, only to have my naughty son swipe his hand across the top of the icing. He certainly got punished, but I do not think it is anything I did to cause him to do this other than pick a bad spot for the cake. As did the person who put the belly cake in reach of small children. Kids do touch things they aren't supposed to, that is part of learning, exploring, so I believe things we don't want totally messed up, should be moved. My kids can be naughty, they were certainly destructive when they were small, but they are also very loving, very sweet and very intelligent. I like to think they got that from me as well. Not everyone has the neccessary skills to parent. I know I have felt at the end of my emotional tether at times. No one gives you a manual for kids, but they will tell you how to wipe their butts. No one tells you how to make a strong willed child listen, short of hitting them. And for those who choose not to hit, it is a matter of figuring out, painstakingly, what works. I too have gotten looks. But I will never judge another mother with a child that doesn't behave. No one WANTS bad kids. Just remember, that mom may have no support system. You can't know everyones circumstance. So if a kids runs into you at Walmart, why not think about someone other than yourself.
HEAR HEAR! Well said.
I was just at a store yesterday and my 1 year old was running around. He can get out of the safety strap on the cart seat, so the choices were: leave him in the vehicle (maybe in my own little small town but not in the city); leave him in the cart where he was constantly standing on the seat or else trying to climb out of the basket (tried it both ways - not good); let him walk and do my best to keep him in check (which we did for part of the time); or put him in the seat, hold onto one of his legs so that he couldn't stand up, and shop one handed with him crying and screaming (which we also did).
I hear you about the strong willed child, which my husband thinks he gets from me, but clearly he gets from his father. One time we were watching the crocodile hunter, and Steve Irwin had just caught some kind of poisonous snake and was going to look into a cave for another, so he handed it to his wife and said something like, "here you go, just keep her calm" and I always thought that although that was good advice, there certainly could have been a lot more said on the ways and means of keeping a snake calm when you've got it by the tail. I have often found that parenting advice takes the similar approach -- they make a great statement (BE FIRM, BE CONSISTENT, APPLY LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES), but I could do with a little more of "here is an example of the exact words you could use and actions you could take in such and such a situation".
Granted that some things are obviously bad (e.g. the kid who stole the money), sometimes bad is a matter of opinion. Sometimes after church we have a lunch. While we are getting ready, my kids and those from another family usually end up running up and down a small side hallway playing whatever and making noise. It drives one old lady batty, and I'm sure she is thinking "control your kids", but to me, these little 6 and under kids have just sat more or less quietly through a one hour service, they are out of the way, they are playing happily, they are watching out for the little kids and they are including everybody, and to me, that is absolutely appropriate behaviour and I am glad to see it.
Merrygold Newbie
Joined: Apr 27, 2009
Posts: 3
Posted:
Fri Jun 19, 2009 9:24 pm
I just did two cakes and covered them with buttercream and chocolate paste flowers and ribbons, the first one I left to change and come back. When I got back ADULTS where pawing the ribbons and flowers!! So one even stuck a fork in the bc to see if it really was bc and not fondant. So I'm not sure why we expect kids to have manners when their parents don't!
margaretb Frequent Member
Joined: Jul 04, 2008
Posts: 473
Location: Alberta
Posted:
Fri Jun 19, 2009 9:55 pm
Merrygold wrote:
So I'm not sure why we expect kids to have manners when their parents don't!
No kidding. I go crazy when the kids have to take their boots off at the door at the school, but half the parents don't bother, so all the snow stuck in the treads of their boots melt all over the school and then the poor sock footed kids have to walk through the adults' puddles. GRRRR!
cutthecake Forum Addict
Joined: May 19, 2008
Posts: 994
Location: NY
Posted:
Fri Jun 19, 2009 10:11 pm
And then there was the kid on Christmas Eve who picked the chocolate kisses off all of the peanut butter blossom cookies on the tray. Did I mention he was around 40 at the time? I wanted to slap him upside the head. His kids were well-behaved, though, thanks to the mother.
whatawildworld Regular Member
Joined: Apr 16, 2009
Posts: 155
Posted:
Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:54 pm
margaretb wrote-
"leave him in the vehicle (maybe in my own little small town but not in the city);"
PLEASE don't do this. I think you were joking, but someone else may not realize and may consider this an option!! We have had 3 deaths in the past 2 years in the Cincinnati area due to people leaving kids in the car. 2 mothers and 1 gramma, 2 dead babies 1 dead toddler. Can you even imagine? I'd wanna die too.
Much easier to let the unwashed masses criticize while the kids scream, chances are it won't be to your face anyways!! You just do your best, people don't know what you go through, or just tell them your babysitting and you own kids are very well behaved!!!
whatawildworld Regular Member
Joined: Apr 16, 2009
Posts: 155
Posted:
Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:58 pm
cutthecake wrote:
And then there was the kid on Christmas Eve who picked the chocolate kisses off all of the peanut butter blossom cookies on the tray. Did I mention he was around 40 at the time? I wanted to slap him upside the head. His kids were well-behaved, though, thanks to the mother.
OMG Lemonade almost shot out my nose when I read that! I'd have had to at least stand there with my "I'm gonna kill you when no one is looking" face.
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