most parents know if their kids are bad...if they are...then have the sense to keep them at home during certain things...you do have kids that once in awhile do something you dont think they would do...BUT that is when you dont let them leave your site or you leave with them...i am a mother of 6 (4 girls of my own and a step son and daughter) 2 of which are twins and are in thier 3's...if they act up we leave or go to the car...now i will probely sound like a mean step mom here...but my 2 step-kids dont listen in public so we dont go out alot when they are with us...we will eat at the same places but we just order it to go and eat at home...thier mom thinks she is the cool one so she lets them do whatever they want...which is hard on us because here they have rules and bedtimes...we now have custody of his daughter and she does really good until she goes to her moms then we have trouble for a few days after she returns home...i guess my point being...
you know when your kids are bad...leave them at home or do something else with them that day...dont be disreseptful to the others around you
sadsmile Forum Fanatic
Joined: Jun 22, 2008
Posts: 1571
Posted:
Tue Jun 16, 2009 11:54 am
Totally in agreement and I have 4 kidoes. Unless someone says please bring the whole family I will attend either by my self(love this!) or with which ever of my kids are friends with the hostess' or Mom2B's childen. The last Baby shower I went to We all went as a family only because I was begged and well you don't turn down an Italian invitation for the family...LOL Didn't want to seam rude so we went. My then almost 2 y/o would not stop running back and forth and wanted to scream if she was forced to be held. Only tried that for half a second. So my hubby took her and our son home just before things really started. If I have to give my kids more then a look I will take them home rather than disturbing the joyous occasion. When i take my kids they are my responcibility and I am 'on duty!'
crl Junior Member
Joined: Sep 19, 2006
Posts: 95
Posted:
Tue Jun 16, 2009 11:55 am
I have to say if it were my kid that had stuck her hand on the cake, I would have made her stand in front of you and apologize and then we would have had a private talk. I couldn't agree more that your kids are a reflection of you. I am not here to be my kids' friend. I am here to teach them right from wrong, values and how to be a productive citizen of society. I, like mgwebb68, have had many compliments on how well behaved my kids are in public. The way I see, I don't want to have to listen to someone else's kid act like an idiot in public--I sure am not going to put up with from my kids.
cakeaddiction Junior Member
Joined: Apr 23, 2009
Posts: 47
Posted:
Tue Jun 16, 2009 12:01 pm
I have to agree and add to this (what might turn out to be an epic thread). Children showing up with the other spouse to cake class is a PITA as well. Last night at the end of class one of the other students spouse shows up (like every other night) with 2 of the children. One is only 2 and runs around all over the place (in a store no less). I had just put the fondant on my cake and was getting something out of my bag when he ran right by my chair bumping into it, I had visions of my cake landing on the floor (thankfully he was just far enough away and I didn't listen to my parents and I didn't push my chair in . I guess I just wish, like many of you, that people would teach their children better manners.
cutthecake Forum Addict
Joined: May 19, 2008
Posts: 994
Location: NY
Posted:
Tue Jun 16, 2009 12:02 pm
We need to be licensed to drive, operate certain machinery, bake and sell cakes legally, etc., but ANYONE can crank out a kid. No rulebook, no manual, no licensing program. Something's wrong with that!
__Jamie__ Forum SuperStar!
Joined: Aug 16, 2008
Posts: 5016
Location: The less seriously you take me, the better off we'll all be!
Posted:
Tue Jun 16, 2009 12:03 pm
KawaiiCakeCook wrote:
oh i'm a total grinch....I completely dislike miscreant children. And I don't have any of my own so no I just don't get it. yes I know, I'm a horrible person, totally get it. I have friends with great kids, and friends with terrors, guess who gets invited to my place for dinner Will I eat my words when i have children probably but until then I can't stand those free loving parents and their little ankle bitters.
Ok, all those smilies up there add up to me ROFLMAO
I'm a mommy to a one year old, and can totally appreciate your post...so fricking funny!
__Jamie__ Forum SuperStar!
Joined: Aug 16, 2008
Posts: 5016
Location: The less seriously you take me, the better off we'll all be!
Posted:
Tue Jun 16, 2009 12:04 pm
crl wrote:
I have to say if it were my kid that had stuck her hand on the cake, I would have made her stand in front of you and apologize and then we would have had a private talk. I couldn't agree more that your kids are a reflection of you. I am not here to be my kids' friend. I am here to teach them right from wrong, values and how to be a productive citizen of society. I, like mgwebb68, have had many compliments on how well behaved my kids are in public. The way I see, I don't want to have to listen to someone else's kid act like an idiot in public--I sure am not going to put up with from my kids.
Nice!
thecakemaker Forum SuperStar!
Joined: Jan 11, 2005
Posts: 2270
Location: Maryland
Birthday: Jan 12
Posted:
Tue Jun 16, 2009 12:20 pm
I took a champagne bottle cake to a family members 25th wedding anniversary party at a restaurant. It was buffet style in the back area where there was a bar and televisions so everyone could watch the game. A 15 yr old girl walked over to the cake and stood there - I watched closely because she looked too much like she was up to something - she picked up the knife and started to cut the cake! I jumped up and said "What do you think you're doing?" She glared at me, looked at the knife, layed it down and walked out the door of the restaurant - the back door into the alley. The parents had the audacity to be upset with me because I said something to her! They let her go for over an hour before they decided they might want to see where she went. This was in an alley in town. What were these people thinking?
I always like it too when family comes over and starts moving/picking up your stuff to put it out of their children's reach. I tell them "I didn't put it up for my kids and you're not putting it up for yours!" If they don't want to watch their kids, they can leave! It's that simple!
Debbie
margaretb Frequent Member
Joined: Jul 04, 2008
Posts: 473
Location: Alberta
Posted:
Tue Jun 16, 2009 3:10 pm
thecakemaker wrote:
I always like it too when family comes over and starts moving/picking up your stuff to put it out of their children's reach. I tell them "I didn't put it up for my kids and you're not putting it up for yours!" If they don't want to watch their kids, they can leave! It's that simple!
Debbie
On the other hand, my SIL's mother INSISTS that she bring her children, REFUSES to let SIL move anything out of reach, then complains if the 2 year old gets into something while SIL is BREASTFEEDING her infant. Sorry, but the child is 2 years old, and I think that is BS to expect him to not touch a thing. It's at the point that SIL hates taking the kids to see grandma, and grandma won't drive to the city to see them. Even before the baby was born, what the hell kind of visit was that, that she shows up, spends the entire time keeping a one year old occupied and out of stuff, getting more and more frustrated because it is not a childproof environment, and isn't able to converse with her mother because she is chasing the kid. SIL would rather stay home. Why would anyone with kids want to visit someone who effectively says come here, bring the kids, but by god do not expect me to make any accomodation that might allow you to enjoy the visit. Of course, in my family, if you invite the little kids, you pick up the breakables and bring out the toys. If you don't want to do that, then you don't invite the little kids, no offense taken. I've also been somewhere where I spent virtually the entire time following my child around. I did not spend more than two minutes at a time participating in the grown up conversation. I did not enjoy myself, and they couldn't have gotten any pleasure from my company. And yet they wonder why we don't come back and visit again.
I read a lot of parenting books when I had my first child, and one I remember dealt with the entire issue of breakables by saying, more or less in one paragraph, "Just leave everything out so they learn not to touch. The first time my girls touched one of my figurines, I firmly told them no, and they never did it again." Ummm, yeah, right.
I would also like to point out that it is fine and good for all of you to say "just don't bring the kids", but what if you live 15 miles from town, have only one reliable teenager within 5 miles who does babysitting for ten bucks an hour if she feels like it and isn't out with her friends or at tournaments, and no handy relatives willing to watch the boys? Sure, I can skip the social engagements, but sometimes you have to attend. I've had people give me the gears for not attending meetings, but these are the same people who have given me the evil eye or outright told me not to bring my kids to the meeting. Sorry, until you want to provide free and reliable babysitting, the kids come with me or I don't go. I have had maybe 3 things per year where I HAD to go and I COULD NOT bring kids, and I start literally 2 months out trying to arrange babysitting, and most of the time I cannot get my arrangments confirmed with 100% certainly until less than 24 hours before I have to leave.
thecakemaker Forum SuperStar!
Joined: Jan 11, 2005
Posts: 2270
Location: Maryland
Birthday: Jan 12
Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 5:19 am
margaretb wrote:
thecakemaker wrote:
I always like it too when family comes over and starts moving/picking up your stuff to put it out of their children's reach. I tell them "I didn't put it up for my kids and you're not putting it up for yours!" If they don't want to watch their kids, they can leave! It's that simple!
Debbie
On the other hand, my SIL's mother INSISTS that she bring her children, REFUSES to let SIL move anything out of reach, then complains if the 2 year old gets into something while SIL is BREASTFEEDING her infant. Sorry, but the child is 2 years old, and I think that is BS to expect him to not touch a thing. It's at the point that SIL hates taking the kids to see grandma, and grandma won't drive to the city to see them. Even before the baby was born, what the hell kind of visit was that, that she shows up, spends the entire time keeping a one year old occupied and out of stuff, getting more and more frustrated because it is not a childproof environment, and isn't able to converse with her mother because she is chasing the kid. SIL would rather stay home. Why would anyone with kids want to visit someone who effectively says come here, bring the kids, but by god do not expect me to make any accomodation that might allow you to enjoy the visit. Of course, in my family, if you invite the little kids, you pick up the breakables and bring out the toys. If you don't want to do that, then you don't invite the little kids, no offense taken. I've also been somewhere where I spent virtually the entire time following my child around. I did not spend more than two minutes at a time participating in the grown up conversation. I did not enjoy myself, and they couldn't have gotten any pleasure from my company. And yet they wonder why we don't come back and visit again.
I read a lot of parenting books when I had my first child, and one I remember dealt with the entire issue of breakables by saying, more or less in one paragraph, "Just leave everything out so they learn not to touch. The first time my girls touched one of my figurines, I firmly told them no, and they never did it again." Ummm, yeah, right.
I would also like to point out that it is fine and good for all of you to say "just don't bring the kids", but what if you live 15 miles from town, have only one reliable teenager within 5 miles who does babysitting for ten bucks an hour if she feels like it and isn't out with her friends or at tournaments, and no handy relatives willing to watch the boys? Sure, I can skip the social engagements, but sometimes you have to attend. I've had people give me the gears for not attending meetings, but these are the same people who have given me the evil eye or outright told me not to bring my kids to the meeting. Sorry, until you want to provide free and reliable babysitting, the kids come with me or I don't go. I have had maybe 3 things per year where I HAD to go and I COULD NOT bring kids, and I start literally 2 months out trying to arrange babysitting, and most of the time I cannot get my arrangments confirmed with 100% certainly until less than 24 hours before I have to leave.
If the kids are invited by all means bring them but they're your responsibility not mine. My child isn't perfect but he was taught "no" and "no touch" and he knew I meant it when I said it. My neices and nephews were taught that too. It's my house not yours or your childs so I shouldn't have to childproof it for your child. I don't have a lot of knick knacks sitting around but the few things I do have aren't gettnig put away. I'm talking about the people that show up and figure that it's my house so I should watch their children - the ones that show up and do their own thing until it's time to go and act the the child or children aren't theirs. Same for children that run rampant playing with balls in a grocery store. Watch them or don't bring them. They're your responsibility not mine. I raised mine to be polite and to know the difference between right and wrong.
margaretb Frequent Member
Joined: Jul 04, 2008
Posts: 473
Location: Alberta
Posted:
Thu Jun 18, 2009 12:23 am
thecakemaker wrote:
I raised mine to be polite and to know the difference between right and wrong.
Ah, well, there you go. I'm raising mine to be rude and evil.
Not really. Surprising as it may be, I am also aiming for polite and moral children.
Clearly, we have different ideas about appropriate behaviour. One person might feel that if a child has been told "no touch" and then touches, this is a rude child who does not know the difference between right and wrong. Another person might think that this is a child who still lacks impulse control, and that this is a behavioural issue, not a moral issue.
I can't imagine anyone in my family going to someone's house and saying, "have at 'er kids, it's all yours and if they didn't want you into it, they should have put it away before we came". But I also can't imagine anyone in my family inviting a family with young kids over and NOT doing what they could to make the visit more pleasant for their guests.
nelikate Junior Member
Joined: Jun 07, 2007
Posts: 27
Posted:
Thu Jun 18, 2009 12:58 am
thecakemaker wrote:
I'm talking about the people that show up and figure that it's my house so I should watch their children - the ones that show up and do their own thing until it's time to go and act the the child or children aren't theirs.
firstly sorry if I'm doing this wrong my first post highlighting someone else's comment.
anyway, its funny you point out the people who come and expect you to look after their children. When I went to meet my boyfriend's mother and family for the first time I was warned by his 86yo gran that what ever I do don't take the baby when his Step brother's wife came over because she is known throughout the family as coming to visit, dumping the less than 1 yo on a pillow on the floor or in someones lap and not coming back to it until its time to go home. When I met her she read the paper the whole time, didn't talk or socialise with anyone and didn't watch her 2 children at all. The oldest child was 2 or 3 so needed watching and attention because he was getting into everything.
I was shocked. I fully understand wanting time away from the children or wanting to socialise with other grown ups when visiting but not watching your kids AND not socialising - don't bother coming!
*mod edited to assist with quote.
JGMB Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 23, 2008
Posts: 678
Location: Darien, IL
Birthday: Mar 28
Posted:
Thu Jun 18, 2009 4:34 am
Let me start by saying that no one loves kids more than I do -- although my 2 are in their mid-20s, I continue to help with VBS and am in my 17th year of teaching the 4-year old Sunday School class at church. And, yes, there are children with extenuating, diagnosed reasons why they act out at inappropriate times.
That being said, parents need to step up!!! My 3 most recent shockers took place within the last 2 weeks at church:
- - We serve lemonade and coffee in the parlor between services. Every week, we seemed to have fewer and fewer plastic tumblers. It turns out that kids were throwing them in the trash!!! I had to write a fairly terse (nasty? ) thing in our newsletter, telling parents to watch what their kids are doing.
- - I had been asked to make little cloth totes w/handles that contain a clipboard with some paper and a small box of crayons. These are to keep kids occupied during church. I now have to make 14 more to replace the ones that kids apparently took home!! Believe me, if my kids had come out of the building with something that was not ours, I'd have noticed and made them return it.
- - Now, for the worst one. This poor kid has no chance at becoming a decent adult, and I lay the blame completely at his family's feet. One of my little former Sunday Schoolers who's 5 1/2 now came over to me on Sunday to show me that he had WADS of cash in his pockets. At first glance, I thought it was all ones, which would've been bad enough. I looked again and saw that there were at least one $20 and one $10!! His grandma walked over and I asked her where he got it. Her exact words were, "Well, he probably stole it. I know he's stolen from me before." Then, she proceeded to sit down and drink a cup of coffee!!!!!!! I'm still in shock. No repercussions, no discussion with the little boy, nothing. I truly wonder what's going to happen to this poor kid. I envision him being in Juvenile Detention as soon as he's old enough. It breaks my heart and, yes, I blame the family.
Sorry for the LONG post, it's just that people always brush it off as "parents are so busy these days." I think if parents cut out the time they spent on Facebook, their cell phones, etc., maybe they'd find more time to pay attention to their kids. (And yes, I realize that I spend a lot of time on CC but I've done my parenting duty!)
Mme_K Frequent Member
Joined: Mar 12, 2009
Posts: 246
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Birthday: Mar 01
Posted:
Thu Jun 18, 2009 4:49 am
JGMB said:
Sorry for the LONG post, it's just that people always brush it off as "parents are so busy these days." I think if parents cut out the time they spent on Facebook, their cell phones, etc., maybe they'd find more time to pay attention to their kids. (And yes, I realize that I spend a lot of time on CC but I've done my parenting duty!)
I so agree. It's sad that they find time to have kids, but don't take the time to enjoy what a great gift they have. And then they wonder why their kids turn out the way they do.
Eisskween Frequent Member
Joined: Jul 31, 2008
Posts: 457
Location: In my own little world, everyone knows me here.
Birthday: Apr 04
Posted:
Thu Jun 18, 2009 4:49 am
I agree with you completely. Raising a child without discipline is like having a puppy and expecting it to train themselves. It's just not responsible parenting.
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. I guess I just wish, like many of you, that people would teach their children better manners.
) thing in our newsletter, telling parents to watch what their kids are doing.
