My advice is to use quality extracts (not McComick) like Nielsen Massey extracts or vanilla bean paste. A good vanilla/flavoring makes all the difference.
If it is crumbly it sounds like a flour issue to me.. too much being added. Try adding less or spooning it into your measuring cup rather than scooping.
I think of a well made classic cake as being just that, not intended specifically for a wedding or any other purpose. To me, it's the colors that make a cake feel celebratory or somber. Go with your gut instincts on what looks nice and...