And SOME relatives just don't get it...no matter what. They're nervey and pushy and annoying. Always were, always will be. Even when they're helping, they have to be controlling. Ugh.
LaBellaFlor Forum Fanatic
Joined: Jan 16, 2009
Posts: 3251
Location: The Eye of the World
Birthday: Jul 15
Posted:
Sun Aug 02, 2009 9:53 pm
Butterpatty wrote:
Compared to what I have heard some people say in public about other's children, I think the OP was fairly restrained.
My son was (oh, thank you, Lord) a fairly well-behaved child. However, once in Target he threw a horrible fit over a toy, head-butted his dad in the -ummm- privates and fell to the floor screaming and kicking. I politely and calmly lifted him to his feet and began walking him towards the nearest restroom (unfortunately that was all the way across the store). A lady looked down her nose at us and commented to a woman who was with her that "that little boy is a demon; she needs to deal with him now". I paused, turned to her, and said, "I AM dealing with him. We are headed to the bathroom for an exorcism right now, thank you very much." The "exorcism" apparently worked because he never pulled another stunt like that again!
I've only ever had to perform an "exocism" once & that was my oldest.
LaBellaFlor Forum Fanatic
Joined: Jan 16, 2009
Posts: 3251
Location: The Eye of the World
Birthday: Jul 15
Posted:
Sun Aug 02, 2009 10:00 pm
jonahsmom wrote:
OMG! I was just asked to do an awesome cake (don't know what I'm gonna do yet) for our upcoming family reunion and now I'm SCARED!!!! I'm pretty sure our gene pool IS polluted...but I've seen the parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins all lay the smack down when kids are doing something they shouldn't. Us rednecks don't let the kids get away with nothin'!
Let me tell you, I'm from a very liberal California & used to be shocked (and no, I'm not trying to be racist, just stating what I ALWAY observed growing up) at how the white kids used to treat there parents. I would see little kids literally jump on their parents backs, hitting & kicking at them, from the teenagers just cursing at their parents like it wasn't nothing. I used to be SHOCKED! But then I moved to the good "ol South" and let me tell you, these white people don't PLAY! The first time I ever went to a store here & saw this kid attempt to act a fool, that father was real clear cut about giving him the business, and he was loud about it.
LaBellaFlor Forum Fanatic
Joined: Jan 16, 2009
Posts: 3251
Location: The Eye of the World
Birthday: Jul 15
Posted:
Sun Aug 02, 2009 10:04 pm
And by the way, I don't hold kids accountable for their behavior, I hold the parents. I have 7 kids from 8 months to 18 years old (I guess she shouldn't count anymore, shes off to college ) and I don't expect my 3 year old to always know not to touch like the older kids. I expect myself to keep an eye out for the 3 babies.
When my boys reached the age of three and could understand a bit more, I would have "Manners Week" with them. That meant that for a whole week the proper way to behave and speak and act towards others at home and in public was repeated to them a trillion times, and if they forgot, it was repeated again. Over the years there have had to be refresher courses, but they were few and far between. What was interesting (and sad, I guess), was that there were so many live examples of how "not" to act whenever we were out somewhere for them to see. I would also tell my boys that you "look with your eyes, not your hands". The older one just turned 21 and the younger one is 11, and I am proud to say that they are both well-mannered and were never considered by others to be "Demon Spawn".
Parents need to be parents. If that makes you unpopular, even with your own children, so be it. I have told my kids that I am not their friend, I am their parent. They have their own friends and I have mine. We need to be respectful and considerate of each other, but we don't need to be BFFs. When they have kids of their own, hopefully they'll understand and appreciate the fact that you were only trying to make them good, responsible, courteous people, and will do the same with and for their children.
Okay, off my soapbox now. Just putting in my two cents.
kilikina_24 Regular Member
Joined: Jul 16, 2008
Posts: 180
Posted:
Tue Aug 04, 2009 7:11 am
LaBellaFlor wrote:
jonahsmom wrote:
OMG! I was just asked to do an awesome cake (don't know what I'm gonna do yet) for our upcoming family reunion and now I'm SCARED!!!! I'm pretty sure our gene pool IS polluted...but I've seen the parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins all lay the smack down when kids are doing something they shouldn't. Us rednecks don't let the kids get away with nothin'!
Let me tell you, I'm from a very liberal California & used to be shocked (and no, I'm not trying to be racist, just stating what I ALWAY observed growing up) at how the white kids used to treat there parents. I would see little kids literally jump on their parents backs, hitting & kicking at them, from the teenagers just cursing at their parents like it wasn't nothing. I used to be SHOCKED! But then I moved to the good "ol South" and let me tell you, these white people don't PLAY! The first time I ever went to a store here & saw this kid attempt to act a fool, that father was real clear cut about giving him the business, and he was loud about it.
Laughing so hard right now!!! I was born and raised in the south and this is where I plan to stay!!! I can't imagine letting my child hit me, yell at me, or especially curse at me!!! That's crazy!!
ajjhmf Junior Member
Joined: Mar 07, 2009
Posts: 37
Location: Central Ohio
Posted:
Tue Aug 04, 2009 7:25 am
Before you jump to judge other people's parenting, remember there may be more to the story than you think.
I have 2 special needs boys and while I work very, very hard at teaching them, sometimes something triggers them when we are out in public there is nothing I can do. Last week my 10yo broke down at a store and while we left as soon as I could, I still need to get what I came for since I knew there was no going back that day. It didn't help that I passed a bunch of other women staring at me and acting like they would never let their kids act that way. I've even had people come up to me in stores and tell me what a bad parent I am and how awful my kids are...in front of them.
While I can agree that there are parents out there that don't do a great job of parenting their kids, before you judge from afar, remember that lots and lots of disabilities are invisible to the general population. No one would know there was anything wrong with my boys unless they spent time with them yet time and again it falls on my "bad parenting."
JoJo0855 Regular Member
Joined: Feb 05, 2009
Posts: 112
Posted:
Wed Aug 05, 2009 5:52 am
I've always maintained that there are only 3 things you need to teach your children:
1. Manners.
2. Respect (for themselves and others).
3. The difference between right & wrong.
Everything else is just puddin' !
Pookie59 Frequent Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2008
Posts: 275
Location: Mesquite, Texas
Posted:
Thu Aug 06, 2009 7:00 am
Doesn't anyone use babysitters anymore? That's how I made my spending money when I was a teen, but these days parents are either too cheap or seem to have an attitude that their kids are too good for that. I don't get these stupid parents that think that their kids are automatically welcome everywhere. Hello! Wake up and smell the icing! I've personally witnessed brat kids running wild at a reception and repeatedly sticking their fingers in a wedding cake. I wanted to go slap the goofball single dad who let it happen, but it wasn't my wedding, wasn't my cake and the bride was much more gracious than I would have been.
Unfortunately there's no IQ test for parenting; any idiot can make a baby.
allifradgley Newbie
Joined: Dec 11, 2009
Posts: 3
Posted:
Sat Dec 19, 2009 6:06 pm
ajjhmf wrote:
Before you jump to judge other people's parenting, remember there may be more to the story than you think.
I have 2 special needs boys and while I work very, very hard at teaching them, sometimes something triggers them when we are out in public there is nothing I can do. Last week my 10yo broke down at a store and while we left as soon as I could, I still need to get what I came for since I knew there was no going back that day. It didn't help that I passed a bunch of other women staring at me and acting like they would never let their kids act that way. I've even had people come up to me in stores and tell me what a bad parent I am and how awful my kids are...in front of them.
While I can agree that there are parents out there that don't do a great job of parenting their kids, before you judge from afar, remember that lots and lots of disabilities are invisible to the general population. No one would know there was anything wrong with my boys unless they spent time with them yet time and again it falls on my "bad parenting."
This is my first post, so please be gentle with me but I totally agree. I have a 10 year old boy with dyspraxia (I think it's called apraxia in the US) and ADHD. He's generally really well behaved, but he's incredibly clumsy and lives his life at 100 mph, he doesn't mean to knock things over but his spacial awareness is terrible, so he'd be the kid knocking cups over, tripping over A LOT or bumping into you (apraxia is often called clumsy child syndrome), he would never mean it and would always be incredibly apologetic, but so many times he has been cursed at by adults who really should know better.
Our house has nothing below shoulder level because the anxiety caused to our son by constantly worrying about breaking stuff or knocking it over was so difficult to watch, we were fine about it because we understood his difficulties. Still, he gets really, really upset when he knocks anything over and blames himself to a completely out of proportion degree, why would we add to that pressure by having breakables around or not explaining before we visit to friends and family and advising them to move valuables or we just don't visit?
I'm British and we don't have baby showers, so I don't know how formal an occasion it was, but I probably would not have taken my son and so would not have gone at all. I don't use babysitters for my child because the anxiety caused to my son by having him looked after by anyone but me is just too distressing to watch.
My son is adopted and has overcome a very difficult birth and many obstacles to get where he is today and we are so incredibly proud of him and how far he has come but he looks completely "normal" (God I hate that word), so please ladies (and maybe a few gentlemen), try not to judge a book so harshly by it's cover. If you talked to the mum and kid (if they're old enough), you may find there's more to them or more going on than meets the eye.
Sorry! Only just realised this was an old thread! Told you I was new!
Love2BakeCakes Junior Member
Joined: Nov 19, 2009
Posts: 58
Birthday: Mar 28
Posted:
Sat Dec 19, 2009 6:24 pm
I feel for you on this one, and I think she should have been charged an additional fee for you to come back out to fix the cake. The cake was damaged at no fault of yours. If a doctor gets paid to make housecalls, well ... !!!
Unfortunately, in my opinion, it's not the kid. It's the parent. It's the same as when some parents take their kids to the park and not supervise them. GET UP AND GET INVOLVED with their play. How many times have you rescued countless little ones who are allowed to wander into the swing area without adult supervision?! Regardless of their rude name calling to you, I feel your comment to the mom was justified and PROPS to you for it!
Odyssey Junior Member
Joined: Dec 15, 2009
Posts: 28
Posted:
Sun Dec 20, 2009 10:05 pm
If I knew kids were going to be there I would have advised to keep the cake out of reach until party time which I know isn't always possible, but once you get it there it is their problem.
I am loving reading this thread though. I want 3-4 of my own kids and am studying to be a teacher. For the past year I have worked at a preschool with various ages and even worked as a councilor at 16 and 17. Kids two years younger than me listened and respected me because there were set rules and disciplines. Time out and discussions are my tools since I can't beat them (JK). I definitely agree that consistency and boundaries are key, but the biggest thing I do is make sure my kids understand why they are in trouble. They tell me what they did and why and we talk about it. I think it promotes a better understanding of situations.
frostingfairy Regular Member
Joined: Oct 11, 2006
Posts: 111
Location: Northern New Jersey
Posted:
Mon Dec 21, 2009 1:27 pm
I'm sorry, I just started reading this thread today (slow day at work) and I have plenty of opinions, but one thing stood out to me....
Quote:
Of course, I expect her to behave well--and she knows if she doesn't, Momma always has a spanking spoon in her bag!
Really? A spanking spoon? Do you really do that? I hope you were just kidding, but I found that one little sentence very disturbing. I think that's going beyond discipline into the realm of abuse. Just my HO
sherrycanary62 Frequent Member
Joined: Oct 06, 2009
Posts: 305
Posted:
Tue Dec 22, 2009 6:43 am
I saw my mother break more than a few wooden spoons over my sisters behind...I learned my lessons from my sisters pain
While it didn't seem to make a difference to her (she was very willful and I don't think tacking her to the wall with a nail gun would have made any difference), that little wooden spoon sure made a difference to me, all without ever having touched my butt.
heddahope Regular Member
Joined: Jul 06, 2009
Posts: 102
Location: Who Dat Nation, LA
Posted:
Tue Dec 22, 2009 1:06 pm
Just a funny little things about opinions, they are like a**holes, everybody's got one.
I was in Sam's getting pizzas for my 4 yr olds birthday party last weekend. ( at his special request) He was acting horrible; yelling, screaming, kicking in the cart, He never behaves like that. I had told him a few times to calm down and he refused, so I proceeded to take him to the bathroom. I brought him in there to get him away from all the stimulation. We went in the stall where we talked about him calming down (the whole time I could hear women giggling about our lil conversation). He calmed down, we went back to shopping.
He starts back up and I told him that was it he needed to stop. Didn't even raise my voice, then i felt a tap on my shoulder. This old lady starts fussing at me that he is a baby and exhausted and I need to stop yelling at him and take home for a nap. I proceeded to tell her that it wasn't any of her business, and she needed to get out of my face. She tells me she called the police and she knows I beat him (I guess she saw me take him to the bathroom). I told her I hoped she did cause She was harassing me. We argued for a few min. then she walks off and tells some random couple "She just beat that baby".
I was in complete awe. My son continues to scream as we r checking out and this grown man a couple of lanes over yells "OH MY GOD, WOULD YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!!!" I just gave him the stink eye until he looked away. (the whole time thanking god my husband was not with me)
See, two totally different opinions in the span of 20 min. One person thinks I over discipline my child, the other under.
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But then I moved to the good "ol South" and let me tell you, these white people don't PLAY! 
The first time I ever went to a store here & saw this kid attempt to act a fool, that father was real clear cut about giving him the business, and he was loud about it. 
) and I don't expect my 3 year old to always know not to touch like the older kids. I expect myself to keep an eye out for the 3 babies.
but I totally agree. I have a 10 year old boy with dyspraxia (I think it's called apraxia in the US) and ADHD. He's generally really well behaved, but he's incredibly clumsy and lives his life at 100 mph, he doesn't mean to knock things over but his spacial awareness is terrible, so he'd be the kid knocking cups over, tripping over A LOT or bumping into you (apraxia is often called clumsy child syndrome), he would never mean it and would always be incredibly apologetic, but so many times he has been cursed at by adults who really should know better.
