Cutthecake – I have a cousin who has no social skills whatsoever (DO NOT get me started on HIM), and at least once every time I’ve seen them, his wife has taken him aside to have a “chat” with him when he has said something inappropriate.
Mombabytiger – My cousin and I used to hang out and drive around town or whatever, and if we got in trouble for being out too late we would always say, “At least we’re not doing drugs or getting pregnant.” And I LOVE your signature line!
Bellatheball – I’ve done the time out thing in the store. What really cracks me up (although this doesn’t work as well now), is that with my second son, if he was doing something wrong, I would just SAY, “That’s it, you’re in time out” and not actually do anything else, just carry on shopping, and he would burst into tears and follow me around until I said his time out was done.
vtcake Junior Member
Joined: Jan 24, 2009
Posts: 83
Posted:
Tue Jun 23, 2009 11:49 am
'I not so politely told her that evidentially she had tried hard enough since he did it twice. Needless to say I (was) considered the bitchy cake lady for the rest of the shower (who cares).'
While I understand your frustration at having to fix the cake, I think your comment was unintentionally rude to the mom. It's not always okay to always speak your mind, and in this case, instead of enjoying the shower, she probably was mortified and replayed your statement over and over in her head.
And it isn't always easy to control children.
I would've been irritated as well,but perhaps would've said something like 'yes, they can be a handful', or "he must be quite the escape artist", or "he must have good taste", something to ease the situation, rather than be hurtful.
His fingers in the cake didn't hurt you at all, so you should've tried to temper the situation with some humor, or at least kept quiet.
Just my opinion.
vtcake Junior Member
Joined: Jan 24, 2009
Posts: 83
Posted:
Tue Jun 23, 2009 12:32 pm
One more thing, then I'm done on this topic!
I don't think that sticking fingers in a cake makes a child bad! Bad behavior, maybe depending on the age...a normal inquisitive child, more than likely.
katherinem Regular Member
Joined: Apr 23, 2009
Posts: 116
Posted:
Tue Jun 23, 2009 8:58 pm
I don't have this problem with my children but there are a lot of baby showers which tell you to bring your child or if you obviously don't have anyone to watch him/her and children are allowed. Usually it is well known if they are asking not to bring children. So to say that is a little off.... i've brought my son and always had people bring their kids to both of my baby showers.
Kids are kids - sometimes good - sometimes not - a kid sticking their finger in frosting is not the end of the world. There are plenty who have done far far worst! I would have also been upset and offended even if the comment was not intended for me but for a friend of mine who was at the party. So yes I do think speaking your mind about something like that was in the wrong - not appropriate epecially for a baby shower environment where everyone was having a good time.
Next time you might just want to reword or soften what you say so it doesn't come out sounding so harsh as i'm sure it did to all who was there.
CakeMommyTX Forum Fanatic
Joined: Aug 07, 2007
Posts: 1147
Location: where the sidewalk ends....
Posted:
Tue Jun 23, 2009 9:36 pm
cutthecake wrote:
We need to be licensed to drive, operate certain machinery, bake and sell cakes legally, etc., but ANYONE can crank out a kid. No rulebook, no manual, no licensing program. Something's wrong with that!
Wow I can't believe no one has ever thought about that before, a rule book and a manual and maybe even some training!
That would have been so helpful when I was teaching my kids to poke cake and scream in the check out lane.
I wonder if they will ever come up with some guidelines for bed time, because this whole kool-aid and chocolate covered coffee beans bedtime snack is not working out!
Ok well gotta go I'm gonna go let my kids peek under the dressing room walls and run screaming in and out of the clothing racks.
madgeowens Forum Fanatic
Joined: Aug 21, 2007
Posts: 1394
Location: Pa
Birthday: Sep 27
Posted:
Tue Jun 23, 2009 9:58 pm
I have an idiot for a sister that took her ten year old to Steak House with a dinner buffet.while the adults were talking the kid took what was left on her plate as to not waste it and scraped it back into the bowls on the buffet ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......first of all why would anyone teach a kid that we put what we don't eat back in ANY bowl ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahaha....I don't talk to her so I thought I would share hahaha.......I agree kids do not go to showers unless invited. How old of a kid I am wondering would do that to a cake? Bang Zoom...to the moon Alice
Butterpatty Junior Member
Joined: Dec 25, 2008
Posts: 81
Location: Smoky Mountains
Posted:
Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:21 pm
Compared to what I have heard some people say in public about other's children, I think the OP was fairly restrained.
My son was (oh, thank you, Lord) a fairly well-behaved child. However, once in Target he threw a horrible fit over a toy, head-butted his dad in the -ummm- privates and fell to the floor screaming and kicking. I politely and calmly lifted him to his feet and began walking him towards the nearest restroom (unfortunately that was all the way across the store). A lady looked down her nose at us and commented to a woman who was with her that "that little boy is a demon; she needs to deal with him now". I paused, turned to her, and said, "I AM dealing with him. We are headed to the bathroom for an exorcism right now, thank you very much." The "exorcism" apparently worked because he never pulled another stunt like that again!
cutthecake Forum Addict
Joined: May 19, 2008
Posts: 997
Location: NY
Posted:
Wed Jun 24, 2009 2:33 pm
Aaaahhh. The public restroom exorcism. I remember them well.
varika Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 15, 2008
Posts: 589
Posted:
Wed Jun 24, 2009 2:54 pm
vtcake wrote:
His fingers in the cake didn't hurt you at all, so you should've tried to temper the situation with some humor, or at least kept quiet.
I love it when people say, "Oh, you weren't hurt by it!"
I wasn't hurt by whoever damaged my car, either, since I wasn't even in it at the time, but now I have to take it to the shop, be without a vehicle for four days, and possibly have my insurance rates raised.
The OP got SIX CALLS to return to the shower and fix the cake RIGHT NOW. I have to say that I think the person who was so inconsiderate as to call SIX TIMES should also be scolded. One, "Alright, when I come back I'll fix it" should be more than enough. Really, that's the true offender, right there, because I doubt the OP would have been so stressed and irritable if there hadn't been six calls to tell her what she knew from the first call.
I probably would have been snippy at both the mother and the caller, personally. I think fingers in the cake once is irksome but understandable; fingers in the cake the second time is rude and negligent on Mama's part--after all, she already KNEW it was a draw for the child. Similarly, one phone call would leave me feeling mildly annoyed, but by the third, I would be saying, "Call me again and I'll just stay home and YOU can explain to the mama-to-be both why there's a fingerprint in the cake and why it has not been fixed!"
vtcake Junior Member
Joined: Jan 24, 2009
Posts: 83
Posted:
Wed Jun 24, 2009 4:48 pm
Sure, it was irritating, I don't deny that. I would've been irritated as well.
And I would've been irritated by the phone calls. And I wouldn't have answered the last 5.
However, for an adult to be rude to another person within a public situation was in itself rude.
Don't come down to a child's level.
varika Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 15, 2008
Posts: 589
Posted:
Wed Jun 24, 2009 5:16 pm
vtcake wrote:
Sure, it was irritating, I don't deny that. I would've been irritated as well.
And I would've been irritated by the phone calls. And I wouldn't have answered the last 5.
However, for an adult to be rude to another person within a public situation was in itself rude.
Don't come down to a child's level.
It's a sad commentary that our society considers it CHILDISH and RUDE to do anything but dismiss every less than stellar even that happens.
Personally, I've found that being a little rude now and then has saved me a whooooooole lot of stress. What the OP said wasn't particularly nasty, as things go, and frankly, not entirely undeserved on the part of the mother. I've said worse and not regretted one word of it.
Guess I'm childish--but hey, at least I'll always be young, right?
OhMyGanache Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 20, 2007
Posts: 550
Posted:
Wed Jun 24, 2009 5:59 pm
To those who are irked that a child would stick his hand in food, it would seem to me that the child would not recognize the cake as food as it was a "pregnant belly" cake.
Also, as a mom of 5 myself (and grandmother of 1), I adore kids and have learned to be patient. It's often difficult for childless people to understand that "kids will be kids". Perhaps in addition to cake muggles, we can laugh off the misguided advice (and rants) of "parenting muggles". LOL!
cutthecake Forum Addict
Joined: May 19, 2008
Posts: 997
Location: NY
Posted:
Wed Jun 24, 2009 6:17 pm
The mother of the child said, "I tried to watch him"?! Just how safe is that kid if the mother can't keep him out of mischief at a social event where "company manners" should be in use? The kid was doing what kids do, but the mother was clearly irresponsible. Again, what if hot coffee was on the table with the cake, and the child got burned? Whose fault would that have been? When you're a guest at a party, you have a responsibiliy to be a good guest. And that includes watching your kids.
littlejewel Junior Member
Joined: Dec 17, 2007
Posts: 62
Location: Illinois
Posted:
Wed Jun 24, 2009 6:33 pm
I'm a mother but I agree with aArtieTs, please don't bring your kids to a shower. You wouldn't believe how many women show up with their kids without them being invited.
Minstrelmiss Regular Member
Joined: Mar 17, 2007
Posts: 199
Location: Central NY
Birthday: Jan 27
Posted:
Wed Jun 24, 2009 6:52 pm
Evoir wrote:
The answer is not always Ritalin.
I teach general music and it makes me CRAZY when I hear from the nurse that so-and-so is now on a behavioral drug, or a dose have been increased...again
(All of my student are those how are not involved in performance ensembles. Typically general music class is not on the top of their priority list, so behavior can be an issue.)
I know I can be starting a whole new debate, but I find the drugs more of a distraction than help. I just don't buy the ADD, ADHA stuff.... Take an interest in kids! Often, I have more success with a child with behavioral issues if I give them a squishy ball to keep their hands busy than I have ever seen in a medicated child. It seems that coping mechanisms for boundless energy are much more successful! *sigh
edited to add: plan for what kids will do when visiting...a new book, crayons, legos! anything but funky kid fingers in the cake
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when I hear from the nurse that so-and-so is now on a behavioral drug, or a dose have been increased...again 
